03x13 - Vanity, Says the Preacher

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪

♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪

♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪

♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪

♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪

Bill, you're hurting my hand.

Huh?

My hand. What? Oh, I'm sorry.

Bill, why didn't you

tell us...

this was going to
be a black-tie affair?

I mean, I feel like
somebody's poor relation.

Well, nobody said.

Bill, don't worry.
Everything's gonna be fine.

There's no problem.

Oh, no, no problem.

I get to be Man of the Year to
a whole country every couple of

weeks. There's nothing to it.

That doesn't even
sound like Spanish.

Muchas gracias, senorita.

What is it? What
are they saying?

Excuse me, Mr. Maxwell.
With your permission.

These ladies enjoy
giving each other awards.

This is a custom.
It's also very boring.

But we endure it
because they do work

very hard all year...

with their committees to
build these fund-raising benefits

for our little country.

My wife wishes me to
tell you and your friends...

how honored we are
to have you at our table.

Oh, well, uh...
Oh, thanks a lot,

Dr., uh, Romero.

I can imagine you
were a bit surprised to be

named Man of the Year...

and honored guest of our
Independence Day celebration.

Surprised, after 30 years?
Why should I be surprised?

I about had a
heart attack is all.

Is it tonight? I mean, your
Independence Day, uh...

The-The equal of
what we would call

our Fourth of July?

Uh, the festivities
begin tonight.

In two weeks is the
big day of celebration.

Many of us old
ex-patriots will fly home...

for the anniversary of our
liberty, our independence,

given to us by Mr. Maxwell.

Uh, well, uh, wait a
minute. Hold the phone, sir.

I was just one guy, green kid.

You are very modest.

♪♪

Holy smoke. She's here.

- Who? Bill?
- Mr. Hinkley, don't be alarmed.

Many of us have
the same response,

even to this day.

Senora Delvera
is the widow of our,

well, what you would call
your George Washington,

the father of our country.

She fought beside him and Mr.

Maxwell at our Valley Forge.

They were married on
the day of the liberation.

Mr. Maxwell was best
man at the wedding.

Thirty years ago, he set us free

with my husband's help.

I was there.

I watched him in
my husband's eyes,

smiling,

and he said to me,
"That boy, the gringo,

is worth 10 of us."

Well, my husband is
dead 18 months ago.

Mr. Maxwell is
not a boy anymore.

None of us are children anymore.

But "Wild Bill" Maxwell,

the gringo, gave
me my country back,

and I thank him,
on behalf of my two

beautiful sons,

one of whom he's
going to meet tonight

for the first time.

Francisco.

My generation
thanks you as well,

for our freedom, senor.

♪♪

Honey, what's wrong?

They are sneering at
him. This whole thing

is very weird.

You know, you're getting
as paranoid as he is.

Honey, you believe
the suit, don't you?

Oh, you didn't?

Well, I... My Spanish
is a little rusty.

I thought it would
help me interpret,

even under my clothes, you know?

This... Honey, this
thing is a setup.

Huh? Uh...

Is this still on?

Oh.

I'm gotta get my clothes off.

I'm really glad to be here,
uh, because it was really

a long time ago,

uh, and if you stop
to think about it, uh,

anybody who was there
then and is still here now...

ought to be really glad
to be here, and I am.

Dr. Romero, table number
three, singing telegram.

I'll be very quiet.

What is she saying?
Bill, I left most of my

Spanish back in high school.

Senora Delvera is thanking
you for accepting her invitation...

to the Independence
Day celebration.

Oh, well, I never
said that, but it's okay.

Wonder where that is, one of
these big joints, fancy places,

Malibu, I bet, right?

Meet us outside. We'll wait

for you. No hurry, lots of time.

Mr. Maxwell.

Oh, okay, kid,
I'll see you later.

Anything? No, it's very strange.

I get positive and negative.

Honey, anybody dressed
like that in a place like this

is gonna feel...

I know, a lot... There's
going to be a lot

of negative vibes, but, uh...

Where's Bill? They
said for us to meet them

at the line of limos out front.

We're all going to
ride with Dr. and Mrs.

Romero. Where are we going?

That's the last

limousine, dear.

Well, maybe it was an oversight.

Dr. Romero wrote down
the address of the party

where we're supposed to go.

An airstrip. A party at

an airstrip in the
middle of the night?

Give me a break.

Well, yes. He said it
was on their private jet.

He said the security
people insisted that the plane

be out in the open,

away from any buildings.

Ralph, these people have
a lot of political enemies.

Wonderful. Bill's car's in

the back. Let's go to a party.

Come on.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Look. Bill is on

Dr. Romero's plane
and it's taking off.

They lied to us.

See, the real problem,
uh, was tactical,

was backup, was weapons.

So we buried 'em in a graveyard

outside of town.

Another drink, Mr. Maxwell?

Unbelievable. Honey,
I want you to go home,

pack your clothes
and get the first plane

down there.

I'll meet you.
Dr. Romero deliberately

split us from Bill. Why?

Honey, he loves those people,
and they are stroking him

to death,

quite literally, I'm afraid.

I mean, you saw
him. He's going to get

his youth back.

He is going to be a hero again.

You show me anybody
who can r-resist that.

I'll meet you when
you get off the plane.

When we walked in the capitol,
I tell you, we had some real

surprised Federales.

It was your husband's idea,

not mine, God bless him.

I-I gotta go.

Uh, I got to be in Nevada
tomorrow on bank robbers.

I can, uh, hear
the ground moving,

but I can't see it.

Did I say that?

Uh...

Gracias.

Pamela Davidson Hinkley!

Buenos dias.

Where'd you get
this? It's a rental.

Honey, I don't believe
this. Would you look at this?

Yeah, I saw it. I saw it.

Ralph, that's you on the cover

of a comic strip.

I know, I know.
I saw it, I saw it.

What is it, a gag?

No, no. It's just what it looks

like. The guy's a comic strip,

a cartoon character.

Everybody loves him down here.

I don't know how to say it.

He's like a folk hero
or a myth or something

like that.

Everybody knows this
guy and they all take him

very seriously.

It's okay, Ralph. It's
just a coincidence.

"El Caballo Rojo."

El Caballo Rojo.

Yeah, you say
that one more time,

I'm gonna rojo your face.

Well, the "Red Stallion"
seems like a good name to me.

That's what I'd call him.

Hello. Hello.

Thirty years ago, Bill
and the Delvera family

and some other guys...

liberated this country from
a few rich foreign companies

who owned everything.

Now it's exactly the same
as it was, only a hundred

families own it all.

Bill thinks this is the
good ship Lollipop.

It is still a banana republic.

This is a democracy, Ralph.
They say it is, but it isn't.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work.
The rich get rich

and the poor get children.

♪♪

Oh, what happened to you guys?
They said you missed the plane.

We didn't miss the plane, Bill.

We were left behind.

Deliberately.

Huh. Sure. Yeah. That figures.

As most of you know,
each year we show this film...

to remember how it was
when we were young...

and times were better.

Bill, the narration
is Roberto's voice.

He wrote the words and
said each year on this night,

he wished that someday
you might hear his words.

♪♪

No, you don't understand.

But all these troops, all
these trucks are now yours,

General Delvera.

Don't call me General, please.

But this is your
victory, General.

No. Not mine.

Not our victory alone.
You will take this film to

the United States, you promised.

That's my job, General.

Tell the United States our
inspiration was Valley Forge,

Gettysburg.

Did I say that right?
I'm a little drunk.

Yes, sir, perfect.

I was married
today. We had wine.

Please tell your Congress,
your people, we strive to be...

We honor the Monroe Doctrine.

We honor our friends in America,

our American friends.

I'm sorry, what does that
mean, with their hands,

to go faster?

Uh, yes, sir. In this
w*r we have won,

in this glorious
independence, we have won,

it belongs to all
of us, to everyone.

It could not have happened
without the help of one soldier.

He is my right hand,
my right eye, my heart...

American, Bill Maxwell.

Cowpuncher,
truck driver, soldier.

May God bless his
soul. I know I do.

He made our day of greatness.

Oh, my God, Bill,
that's really you.

You did it.

You have to sound so surprised?

You weren't
half-bad looking, Bill.

What happened?

Keep the jokes coming,
kiddo. I love 'em, but that's me

and I did it.

That kid... and me did it.

It was a day of greatness.

Not just because
my mother and father

were married that day,

with Senor Maxwell's blessing,

but because their
spirits were high.

They had won the
battle of the just.

But today my father
is dead, over a year,

and my mother
breaks her heart...

♪♪

My baby brother.

The artist in the family.

♪♪

He's identical to his father,

the boy we saw in the newsreel

over 30 years ago.

Am I crazy?

No, you're not crazy.

Holy gee! I think I'm
looking right at him.

Muchas gracias.

De nada.

Senor Maxwell brings
Manco out of the mountains.

"Bull."

"Stupid."

♪♪

I am here against my will.

I said I go with
you all the way.

Porque Mama is foolish,
Dr. Romero is a crook

and you want to be Napoleon.

Now listen to me good
so we don't do this again.

I am here with you
until the first time

you lie to me.

♪♪ Excuse me.

- Oh, no, thank you.
- We're, uh...

Boy, they really don't like us.

You noticed that too?

You know, there's two
things I always wanted to do

when I was a kid...

if I could turn invisible.

One of them, I outgrew when

I married you.

I'm not sure I understand that.

Well, you'd have
to be a guy, I guess.

The other one is to be a
fly on the wall in a room

where I am not wanted.

What are you going to
do? Just relax, mingle

and I'll find you.

Oh! I still hate this.

♪♪

This was his desk,
his calendar, typewriter.

What do you want?
I beg your pardon?

I'm here, headache and all.

Now what the hell
do you people want...

that's worth doping a
federal officer to get him

out of the country?

- What?
- You butt out of this, kid.

- I don't belong in this?
- Not yet.

You weren't on the plane
when I got the Mickey.

Now you've suckered
me and you've doped me.

What do you want?

You can read our
story on any front page

in the United States.

Here. Los Angeles,

four months ago,
headline, second column.

"t*rrorists raise threat to
Central American democracy.

t*rror1st splinter group could
spark military coup, destroying

frail democratic government."

That is real. That is our story.

Read it.

I don't want to read
it. I did it 30 years ago.

We have to do it again.
What you and my father...

and the old Indian, Manco,
fought for 30 years ago

has been betrayed,

piece by piece,
until it's all lost

and almost forgotten.

- Mama?
- Bill...

Don't say it.

- We need you.
- I'm a fed,

licensed by the United
States government.

They'd hang me by the
heels just for thinking about it.

Look on the bright side.

If we don't all end up dead,
how are they going to find out?

If we do, you won't care.

We can not do it without
you. Manco will follow you.

He's alive?

Manco's in this?
Why didn't you say so?

You got Manco,
you don't need me.

He'll pull in every
Indian, every peasant,

every t*rror1st you
don't even want,

but you can't leave 'em out.

You got to pull 'em in,
educate them the same way

we did before.

We do not have Manco.

And we cannot get
him. That is what we

want you to do.

That smart old Indian
will not come out of

the mountains to meet with us.

To him the Delvera family
is one of the hundred families

who have strangled the country.

Who are you, pal?
What's your stake

in this shindig?

Last year, in the newspaper,

they called us one of
the hundred families,

traitors to this country.

My sons and I and
Dr. Romero and his family...

are now alone with the peasants
against the hundred families.

Manco will leave the
mountains with his people for you.

You don't understand.
It's 30 years ago,

he's an Indian.

You screwed it up. He
did what an Indian does.

He walked away.
He ain't coming back.

He's gonna wait
till you go under.

No, I went up to see him.

He said he would come
off the mountain for you.

He's not committed,
just he will be there.

- I thought you
were a college kid.

- We sang some of the old songs.

How you say, uh,
it was really neat.

He will go with
you and my brother,

who is the exact
image of our father,

even if he does not
trust the rest of us.

Bill, with you it works.

Without you, we lose everything.

You just don't get it, do
you? No, I always get it

late from kids.

It is us. We have become them.

We have it all. The
people have nothing.

We have to give it back.
And I have to go home.

He's trying to
tell us it's too late.

Like us, he has
become one of them.

Don't you see, un federal?

He's not the man I
knew. Mama, don't do that.

It's done. You
people are a joke.

They're gonna eat you alive.

This is w*r you're
talking about.

500,000 rounds of a*mo
and 15,000 automatic weapons

is not a joke.

Where? Buried.

Waiting for us.

In the same graveyard you
used to store your weapons

30 years ago.

What about food?
You got enough horses?

Yes.

No more robbing
trains in the dark.

Too bad. That was the only

part that was any fun.
He said you'd say that.

Who? My father,

before he died,

when he finally knew
we would have to do this.

He said we would
have to take a few trains

so you would not be bored.

This is our land.
These are my people.

My father, you call
your best friend,

was one-fourth Indian.

We are blood. And
now they run from us

in fear and hate.

What does it take
to wake you up?

Where's Manco? I don't know.

He will come.

When? I'm not sure, when we get

word to him you're here.

Where? I don't know.

You don't know
much, do you, kid?

He's not the
professional here, you are.

Ralph.

This is unbelievable, man.

Yeah, I know, but I gotta.

This is the most
idiotic, quixotic...

Bill, this is vanity.
This is purely vanity.

You cannot go back and live
your youth over again, man.

You just can't do it.

No kidding? This
whole family is headed

straight into a buzz saw.

Let me tell you something.
These two boys and their mom

are using you.

Well... I'm not
bringing the suit

into this.

We're-We're not talking about
good guys and bad guys anymore.

We're talking about
the politics of a country

and not even your country.

This is not why they
gave us the suit, Bill.

Pam and I are on the first plane

out of here.

Well, kid, for once we agree
on how to make lemonade.

Okay, tomorrow morning,

0400 hours,

here in the courtyard,
everybody, every piece

of rolling stock.

Set two details to follow
immediately with cattle

and sheep.

I don't care who has to
stay up all night to do it.

And I want to see
the horses. Now.

Yes, sir!

I got it. Where?

Laundry room. It's Estelita's.

All right.

What's wrong?

I see 'em. I just can't make out

the Spanish. It's weird.

Okay, I got it... study room.

Excuse me.

Okay, okay.

Maxwell's in his bath.

Without a perfect fool,
we will lose all of them.

He's down in the
courtyard, picking a horse.

Don't be silly.

We have one problem.

If my kid brother finds
out what we've done,

any part of it, we're finished.

I can handle Mr. Maxwell.
My brother is different.

- I think he reads my mind.
- Your brother is

not going to know.

There is no one to tell
him outside this room.

In the end, they
will all be k*lled,

you know that, Estelita.

Not all. Francisco?

Mama, for the last
time, I will not let

my baby brother die.

It would lack form
and defeat our purpose.

All right, Maxwell goes first.

He's the gringo. He has
to take the fall for the press.

"U.S. agent tries to
overthrow democracy,

is shipped home in pine box."

It's perfect. It pleases
all of our people

in every sector.

- Where's the letter?
- In my safe, at home.

It must be with us. You agreed.

I have a copy.

This isn't even signed.

The letter gets us in

and gets us out, alive.

I want the original,
signed by your brother,

General Romero,
Commander in Chief,

by tomorrow.

- You must trust
your friends, my boy.

- What friends?

- Francisco.
- What friends?

You? My mother?

My boy, I was
only joking, truly.

God, how I despise this.

There must be another
way without the bloodshed.

My dear, we have
tried every other way.

A military junta is
the only way left to us.

Still here? He just rode out.

Ralph, it's so sad. It
looks like old pictures

of World w*r I.

There are no g*ns
in the graveyard.

No ammunition.

It's a lie. It's a trick.

They're going to use Bill to
gather all the unhappy peasants

together in the terrace,

and they're going
to execute them;

it's the military.

I've got to get an original
signed copy over to Bill...

to prove that he is being duped.

- Where is that?
- Dr. Romero's safe.

Why don't you
keep this, all right?

At least we have a copy.

Hi! Uh, don't
panic, don't panic.

Now, I know, I'm your
favorite comic book hero.

And-And I-I only do
good things, right?

Uh, only good things.

Right? Right? Yeah.

I, uh, I need something
out of the safe.

There's a letter in here
somewhere, I have to... I have to

find because I need it.

Here it is. I think this is

what I need.

I will take very
good care of it.

All right.

Yeah, all right.
All right. Uh...

Uh...

Oh, th-th-the hair.

Well, uh, I had to dye it.

'Cause, I mean,
we all get older.

You know what I mean?

Uh... Buenos noches.

It's hard to believe how
fast they're coming in.

They come in this fast tonight,
we can march by tomorrow.

It's amazing how well
they remember you.

After so many years,
so much love for you,

so much respect.

Doctor, if you can't lay
off that grease job with me,

I wish you'd just
keep your yap shut.

These men are here
because they were told Manco

was going to show up.

Es todo y finito.

And you said he couldn't
make it until tomorrow.

I don't know how he
did it. He's an Indian.

You got them together,
my boy. Congratulations.

Ralph?

What are you doing here?

We ran into your
partner on the road

this morning, compadre.

He has something to show you.

It's signed by
your old sergeant,

now General Romero.

Yeah, I can read,
Ralph. In Spanish?

- Y-Yeah, sure.
- And if you believe that,

I have some oil property
to sell you in Honduras.

You, too, with a sense of humor?

Where'd that come from?

I've always had a sense
of humor, for an Indian.

Yeah, next to you King
Kong had a sense of humor.

Right now, tonight, I
have a sense of humor

like you read Spanish.

Ralph, some of these people
think that you're a superhero.

I don't know who you
are and I don't care.

You work with my
compa, that's enough.

Read the letter, out
loud. They are the ones

that have to hear it.

Yes, sir, I will.

People.

This is from the Commander
in Chief of the Army

and the Navy to Dr. Romero.

They can't hear you, Ralph.

They will now.

This is an agreement here

about dates and timing.

General Romero says,

"So it is agreed, when
you have pulled all t*rrorists

into one place...

and your army..."
that's in quotes...

"and your army is
betrayed and destroyed,

"all who escape the
m*ssacre at the graveyard

shall be declared outlaws,

and shall be hunted
down and shot on sight."

Finish it.

"And finally, if you
can deliver these

t*rrorists and fanatics...

"who are so devoted to
democracy to the m*ssacre

at the graveyard,

"your family and the
others named below

shall be immune.

"In fact, shall become
part of the new order...

"when the junta takes
power through this event,

"in the names of
the hundred families.

"Signed, General Romero,
Supreme Commander,

Army and Navy."

You know, compa, I was never

the fall guy before.

I feel important. How about you?

Roberto...

You and Maxwell
ought to get together.

You could save a cat from a tree

if you really tried.

Somebody stop him, or I will.

Roberto, go back! You are wrong!

The family is right!

No! Get her away from me.

Ralph!

Bill? Bill, they're here!

They're coming in!

Ralph, do something!

No! Get up ahead! Blind him!

He's gonna do it!

Bill!

Mr. Hinkley, Mr. Maxwell,
how did this tragedy happen?

Uh, well, it's, uh, it was

the dark kid there, mostly.

You can drop him in free
fall and do everybody a favor.

- Should we take the suit away
from you and give it to them?

- Do what?

Uh, sir, these boys
just shot each other.

Was it not in the
end Mr. Maxwell's ego

and bad judgment...

which brought
them to this place?

Mr. Maxwell, if Mr.

Hinkley had told you
of your betrayal sooner,

would you not have walked
away from these people before

the tragedy could have occurred?

Uh...

I... Sir, y-you always present
us with a lot of questions, but you

never give us any answers.

Mr. Maxwell, would it
not be easier for you,

simpler for us, to
take these young boys,

- these brothers, in your place?
- Well, uh, we're doing

the best we can.

We make a couple of
mistakes, you can't ask us

to turn into saints here.

Is not a saint one who strives
for justice and honor and right

among all people?

Sir, I got to promise you,
we don't know anything

about saints.

We're just trying to do
the job that you laid on us.

Are you saying
that that's what we're

supposed to be doing?

- Why did you think we are here?
- Uh, I gotta tell you, sir,

the kid's right.

Uh, talking to you is,
uh, like talking to a shrink,

all questions, no answers.

Where did you think
Dr. Freud got his idea?

I-I know that you
can heal their bodies

as you've done for us.

But can you change their
minds, the way they think?

I mean, enter their
minds and teach them?

Even if they resist
you, give them strength?

A-And give them hope?

Why not? If we could do it

with you, why not them?

Is that not what
you try to do with

your students every day?

Behind all those windows?

What are they?

Students, Bill, of life.

The French have
been trying it for years.

It's called sleep therapy.

Uh. Um.

You'll get used to it.

Sir, we got a thousand
folks down there...

sucking their thumbs
and turning blue

and looking at us.

Then you promise not to, as
you say, screw up anymore?

Sir, uh, we gotta get moving.

For life?

Yeah. Sure. Uh, absolutely.

Oh! I just got it.

All those sleepers
in the windows, that...

That's our backup.

They're getting them
ready to take over for us.

Well, that's right, Bill.
Yeah, over my dead body.

- Well, maybe so.
- Not tonight.

Go get 'em, kid.

I don't care who thinks

I'm a comic book or who doesn't.

It's so confused, now, by this.

I can't explain it and it
doesn't matter anymore.

If it helps you to believe
me, then I will gladly

take that advantage.

You people, you
have a democracy,

one of very few left on Earth.

In order to make
a democracy work,

you have to stand behind it.

You have to live it.
You have to serve it.

Even when you don't like it.

If you don't, you
will absolutely lose it!

You cannot refuse.

You can't turn your back
and walk away anymore.

You can't look down
on your government,

because if you do,

your government in the
end will look down on you.

You must swear

by the power above.

You must swear never again...

to turn your back
on your country...

or yourself.

Swear.

Where's the Jeep?
Where we left it.

Home again, home
again, jiggity-jig.

Slide over.

How do you like them apples?

I like.

Remember your promise.

See you, pard.

Yet, less than a month ago,

all this turned around.

This tiny democracy was
slated to go under the heel

of yet another military junta.

One more democratic
failure in the long line of

military takeovers...

in this part of the world.

Backyard observers were giving
this frail democratic structure

a 90-10 against survival.

Then something
remarkable happened

that nobody can explain.

For the first time
in this tiny nation,

country people are
marching like troops

to get in the vote.

For Indians, peons, poor
people, whatever the label,

this is unheard of and
largely uncared about,

dismissed in the United States,

thousands of miles away.

Of course, there
has been friction,

even confrontation,

not unlike our own
voter registration

in the South years ago.

You better get these
home. They're getting cold.

But these voters will not be

intimidated, not anymore.

One family seems to be
behind this new liberal thrust,

the Delvera family... two sons.

We did it!

Yes, we did it.

Well, somebody did it.