01x05 - Behind Every Good Coach

[bunniefuu]

come on another one I was never any good

in sports I hated gym class take class

for every team except dodgeball and the

gym teacher hated me

Anderson take another lap when you take

another lap the only thing I was good at

was track and field pole-vault drove

that sucker right in the ground

hey I did a good thing though I

straighten out those uneven bars huh

those are the days now everyone's into

fitness well not me

people are always saying Louie you want

to go jogging then go for a little run

no I got a car I'll meet you there

that's what I think of fitness you know

what I like to do I like to go down take

a nice walk right into a donut shop get

a great big donut sit there and chew it

that's the exercise I like getting I'm

small right elementary school was just

one humiliation after another

unrecognizable cafeteria food

overcrowded school buses

but the worst humiliation by far was the

human t*rture session held three times a

week they called it gym class this is a

tough choice Frankie ah Franklin I'm

over here this way saving the best for

last time we'll take Anderson what are

we playing anyway I was in front

bring it on hold people please all right

boys and girls I want you to say hello

to my friend the uneven bars I need a

volunteer

Anderson come here

this is great coach we think I've

mastered this can I get down now come on

Anderson put some swing it's perfect

let's try it again Anderson if at first

you don't succeed Quint that's the

spirit son take a lap it always took me

two days to recover from gym a little

snack some TV watching an afternoon nap

just what the doctor ordered

unfortunately my dad changed the

prescription what kind of kid doesn't

play baseball that's not American what

are you talking about my kids American

is those french fries here hmm so Louis

is playing you mean Louie the babe

Anderson yeah in fact he's probably at

home practicing his slider right now

kids so excited about baseball season he

hasn't slept in days so we'll see if the

games on Saturdays right yeah

me and the babe well be there here you

go Louie your favorite chocolate chip

mom will you sign this for me well what

is it here please excuse me from gym

class he's sick as a dog Oh Louie I

can't sign this you need a serious

medical ailment to get excused from gym

class I stopped my tall does that call

no why do you want to get out of gym

anyway I hate it I can't do any of the

sports I'm always lies today I could

clean it in the back no way you just

don't try you don't apply yourself

that's not true I applied myself right

into the gymnasium wall the other babe

what's this for just a little something

to ring in the new season babe forget it

dad

I'm not playing baseball you asked me to

mow the lawn yawns me to rake the leaves

you asked me to shovel snow you asked

you to do anything for me today watch

their kids play baseball on Saturdays

sit down same thing you always do sleep

till noon

get up then you take a nap I heard babe

I mean there's gotta be something we can

work you know I scratch your back you

scratch

sure my back did niche but my toll

please excuse Louie from gym class for

the rest of the year

his ingrown toenail has become grossly

infected and could endanger the toes of

his classmates signed Andy Anderson what

you don't believe me

[Music]

of course this now meant that I was

obligated to play baseball the good news

was I was on the same team as all my

friends hey Louie I thought you were too

busy training for the Olympic gymnastic

team yeah what changed your mind

I made a deal with my dad he got me out

of gym class hey what's so funny that's

some deal Louie the bad news was our

coach looks like that ingrown toenails

healing nicely

you know a few wind sprints ought to

speed up the healing process Grunwald

was right dad had sold me swampland

instead of seeing coach Rockwell three

days a week in gym class I saw him at

baseball practice five days a week and a

game every Saturday you scratch my back

I'll scratch yours

oh man I can't believe I fell for that

come on Anderson show me some hot sauce

you got a coach some hustle coming right

up

hey Anderson take a lap come on people

put your body behind the ball alright

this is for you and erson and look alive

pick it up

throw it the first Haley stop the ball

someone else can throw it to first jeez

I gotta do everything around here

give me three laps Anderson all right

mr. ingrown toenail grab a bat the bat

stays in your hand and the ball is

supposed to go to the outfield Oh

details details

give me three laps

[Music]

boy that's a good hit

look alive out there Anderson come on oh

just give me three laps coach five by

the end of the week I've made exactly no

hits filled it exactly no ba*ls and

jogged exactly 336 laughs

sluggers don't move dad you got

something on your head

and now I think it's a long oh no I'm a

cheering chipmunk does mom know he can

there was your mom's idea we're all

cheering chipmunks I wouldn't brag about

that we're just getting ready for the

big game tomorrow oh don't tell me

you're wearing those hands to the game

we wouldn't want to embarrass you good

so I made these matching shirts to

finally opening day the whole world got

a chance to see the results of Coach

Rockwell's expert guidance and training

tomorrow how come the sluggers not

playing he's gonna play they're just

saving a mob yeah the coach is talking

them right now

all right toe nail I got a job for you

coach yes you're going in to the

convenience store down the block picking

up some sodas and bringing them back

let's see some hustle now what are you

doing I thought I told you not to swing

at that sorry coach I couldn't hear you

over Louie's dad oh oh yeah what'd I do

come back here is there any way I could

muzzle your dad you in no take this and

get out there keep your eyes closed

maybe we'll get lucky this year only

what's wrong with the shipment

- spent the next week trying to whip us

into shape exactly what shape that was

I'm not quite sure the strong offense is

the best guard against first beam of the

free world rests in your hands

[Applause]

[Music]

dan is in the ticket last place team in

[Music]

something I'm such a loser I'm drying on

my team down no you're not

noe it's true dad tried to trade me

yesterday of course the only thing he

could get from me was a pair of banning

ailments he considered it though you

will improve your team just needs to

work on a couple of things well we've

got the handshake at the end of the game

down pat you know Louie I used to play a

little stickball with my brothers on the

farm they showed me a lot of tricks do

you remember any of them oh maybe one or

two now if you want an outside slider

you put your middle finger across the

stitches like this

remember the breathing pattern I taught

you all right now give me heat wait till

dad sees what you showed me mom let's

just keep this our little secret for the

time being okay grab a bat

now let's take a look at your stance

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

coaching it felt good to be on the

winning side of the handshake for a

change I was starting to see the appeal

of the whole baseball thing the next day

after school while Dad was still at work

I invited the whole team over to my

house to meet my mom level swing all

right Gina gosh I can't do this when I

was a little girl I had to slide

headfirst so my skirt wouldn't fly up

over my head I don't wear a skirt we can

date you do wear the skirt paddler every

day that week mom gave us lessons and on

the weekend dad coached us to victory

[Music]

the mortar blast went on a winning

streak we are out of the cellar and we

are headed for the atom

[Music]

[Music]

and then the impossible happened the

whole town turned out to watch the

playoffs the only problem was that the

game was played at night under the

lights still the weeks of practice

last time for operation invade the

infield

my guys yeah yeah wear the skirt what

are the sky where the sky oh here comes

a literally pitch for you

[Applause]

[Music]

sorry go ahead and pitch no pressure

here mister what in the world one out to

go

and I was pitching to Glenn client

without mom's help I didn't have a

prayer I tried my fastball I tried my

knuckle

he was getting a piece of everything

we're gonna do that at least let me be

known welcome Slugger look at next let's

go which pitch should I use knuckleball

curveball wok am how about a curving

knuckleball case in the death Road to

get Riddler this one's for you mom

[Music]

that's my Slugger

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

traders congratulations coach

you mean assistant coach daya I should

be congratulating ya

nonsense you were their leader you

taught them how to be a team I just

provided a different point of view right

again there would have been no around me

absolutely yeah what a loss allow me Oh

Leslie let's go home

coach Chow tell me dear when you throw

that slider does your trigger finger go

with the laces or cross up the next week

I decided to go back to gym class

baseball season had left me in pretty

good shape and besides football season

was coming up hey mom

your brother's ever teach you anything

about football ah call that a throw

you're never gonna pitch for the Dodgers

come on hey watch it buddy