Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x11 - A Fair to Remember

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Life with Louie". Aired: September 2, 1995 – March 2, 1998.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Based on the childhood of Anderson, growing up with his family in the fictional town of Cedar Knoll, Wisconsin during the early 1960s, although Anderson himself was actually from Saint Paul, Minnesota, also situated in the Midwestern U.S.

01x11 - A Fair to Remember

Post by bunniefuu »

well as you can see I'm gearing up for

the fair as far back as I can remember I

never missed the State Fair it saved my

money all year just for that one day and

the minute we got there my mom would

rush us over to her favorite food all

the milk you could drink for a nickel

yes mouths build strong bones of course

kids want to go on the rides they want

to play the games drink milk and they

want you to win that one prize that big

stuffed animal so big that you could

hardly carry it and you try everything

breaking the balloons with the dart

penny on the plate ring on the bottle my

favorite get the ball in the basket huh

let it bounce back out of course you'd

spend all your money walk away with the

little thing that goes that would quit

working as soon as you got off the

Midway I'm starved here no taste this

boys it's my latest creation stinko are

those like gym socks Oh Louie just

because it smells funny doesn't mean it

isn't yummy now eat up this is my tuna

casserole with a surprise what's the

surprise

anchovy mining answer your macaroni and

cheese you're making every other day

thank you Andy but you know they say

change is always good this change here

we're never going to do it that Johnny

love hand not that blue ribbon for first

prize with it I mean Johnny love maybe

my favorite singer but Oh Andy

really Michael your mother's apron

strings and do some man's work I mean do

your work now get back sing but Dad quit

complaining during the w*r we weren't

issued fancy canned wax for our tanks

excessive ear wax runs in our family

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

then you can tell me Andy guy surprise

for you

st. you're older this year than last mmm

I guess the cake and candles give it

away now with your mom extra busy at the

cook-off and me man in the tractor booth

there surprises hey you get to walk

around the fair without any adult

supervision

plus I give you ten tickets for those

rides at the fair looks like this is

your year to conquer the dragon's breath

[Music]

fluey you don't have to ride that mean

old dragon's breath if you don't want to

after all who can ever forget that

horrible incident over in Kenosha having

a Romer let me make a farm report seems

that one of the cars blew off its hinges

landed in a pasture in the next county

and scared some cows so bad their milk

curdled listen to that propaganda I'm

not afraid of the dragon's breath dad

like a-runnin anytime I want to

that's Hanson's bad I just don't want to

somebody give me a hand here please

here you go Louise wait time to hit the

road Andy

I just ground this meat and the

strawberries are already floating to the

top and after you help me go to the

bathroom we can hang out with all your

friends mom can we leave them in the car

he's your brother Louie we can crack the

windows popcorn but I like it so try to

keep trying to keep up with me

[Music]

Oh baby hurry up boys

this goulash is threatening to melt look

boys back Sarah talks she rules the

desert division but she must be lost

Oh Sally you why ora Anderson bless your

heart you've worn that dress again it's

always been a favorite of mine oh really

there's no need to tie your children

together like livestock well it's their

first year on their own no I mean it's

not necessary honey believe me children

that look like that stand out in the

crowd

excuse me Sally but this is the

casserole area the dessert competition

is three kitchenettes down I've done

desserts on board my sights on

casseroles well always room for more

concentrated alou's Anderson don't worry

lady we're always ready I was thinking

you might want to tie Tommy to the

tractor selling feature the Midway sheep

shearing contest is starting buzz buzz

the man the fort can't you see I got

customers

I never seen dear old dad this dedicated

my father the company man hey buddy what

a bad first place sheeps urine contest

I gotta win that country that trophy

should've been mine

how much in this tractor Paul excuse me

I am Dexter Cahill the third and I'm

looking to buy money is no object

I just want the best I need something

simple to operate because well let's

just say that Dexter the fourth here or

won't be running to the head of the

class I see what you're saying

Wow your lot friend because this card is

easy to operate just push this one green

button one button constantly you unleash

360 yeah that's quite a herd

Matt Matt Matt Matt hold on partner I

got a look around see all the tractors

hey they say kids have no fear maybe

they just have no judgment hey you're

too little

you gotta go in the baby rides don't

push or yield me walk in the back yeah

don't you little beg to be riding a

wacky wave I have to ride this ride on

the car my brother he's a baby

I wanna big look at new she riding the

big rides look at water new

I've been on the dragon's breath ten

times know what that means one more and

we'll be seeing that turkey leg again no

it's my record you written it yet

new new way just ate a corny dog so I

have to wait an hour you did not

who is afraid of the dragon's breath who

is afraid of the dragon's breath who is

afraid of the Dragon she's a mighty

clean machine isn't she sir yeah well

this one over here she's got a radio I

like country I bet you do step right up

and meet the Blue Ox be strong enough

pop onion it's strong enough with a

muzzle stop it monkey boy your monkey

boy on a leash pretty girl

I'm telling no one said I couldn't tell

you know Paul you're in trouble and I

just love this blender state of the art

it hasn't failed me yet

Laura I'd like to introduce you to my

friend electricity oh I prefer to cook

the old-fashioned way

I noticed hey honey you must give me

that noodle recipe what is it

two cups noodles no cups water cook on

high leave unattended until when let's

see the fire department arrived darling

for your next trick you don't bite the

head off a chicken do you oh goodness no

not here I'll go out back

Hey look here comes your wife

hey Janie I think we're in the wrong

line this one's going to the dragon's

breath what are you making Sally

something just aside of fabulous you Oh

I haven't decided I'm just getting ready

you know chopping preheating my oven

churning butter no it's mine I won the

pie-eating contest you have to be this

tall to ride this ride rules are rules

Jeanne you go ahead oh don't sweat it

I'm gonna let y'all are you going I said

I would let you on no no I can't get you

in trouble

[Music]

here boy

here Tommy you back again kid hmm

I sorta lost my little brother you seen

a kid about this high acting like a

monkey

I seen a million kids today alone so

refresh my memory what was the little

weasel wired this

back in ten minutes whale shun looks

like I'm buying the Blue Ox

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

let's yeah kid I lost a lot of things in

my day never lose a brother no but I

know your pain see IRA I used to man the

big rides like the dragon's breath the

very same I turned my back for a second

I never saw that loose bolt gonna happen

car flew off landed I heard about the

baby

[Music]

there's a kid let's go to the dragon's

breath it's this one looks like

[Music]

I'm just getting my little brother I'm

going to break england's record I'm

going to ride the ride what's the worst

thing that can happen you fly over to

another County and scare some cows you

don't have to ride that dragon's breath

you can live with me forever

I'll teach you how to make jam it was

Now or Never

[Music]

[Music]

not you the Rye

[Music]

[Music]

second so close yet so far don't you do

win second prize Evie please tell me

happy is the name of the bass boat

[Music]

oh thank you you've saved my baby from

embarrassment maybe you got the wrong

boat the livestock show is done that way

I've never seen anything destroy like

that in my life I'll take it

Louie what a sail style

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey Glenn Glenn they got a pizza

milkshake two stands down hey where'd

you get the pig why me taffy

what are you dressed for clucking their

comeback oh I'm so silly I just got

caught up in all of this it hasn't been

fun lesson and your favorite day to do

it

[Music]

I smell a winner mmm that smells

modified it's macaroni and our speeds

cheese with a little surprise what

surprise sweetheart ham chunks Valley

Tops a pleasure would you like a survey

to cleanse your palate no thank you

just give me a lovin spoonful sweet

thing and angelic concoction souffle

Quadra fromage absolutely delicious and

worthy of a prize just not first prize

I'm pinning the Blue Ribbon on that dish

over there

[Music]

oh thank you ham chunks what's so great

about ham but its head watch imported

cheese oh look at her she made a page

now she's with some magic desserts

that's what I make a great cake I really

do what do you people looking at wanna

go busy

I'll bring the boat you bring the

biggest state fairs came and wind but as

we drove home that night our car was

filled with a little pride a little

victory and a little pig named Effie we

needed a lot of space

[Music]

[Music]