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02x07 - Buzz Stop

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Life with Louie". Aired: September 2, 1995 – March 2, 1998.*
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Based on the childhood of Anderson, growing up with his family in the fictional town of Cedar Knoll, Wisconsin during the early 1960s, although Anderson himself was actually from Saint Paul, Minnesota, also situated in the Midwestern U.S.

02x07 - Buzz Stop

Post by bunniefuu »

let me tell you about my family

let's have again

let's take a look and see what you have

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when I was a kid I learned there were

two ways to become a doctor go to

medical school for six years or be my

mother the thermometer says 104 but

according to my hand you're a perfectly

normal 98.6 guess it's time to buy a new

thermometer better get dressed Louie you

don't want to be hated dr. Henderson

always knew when I was trying to get out

of something at school it seems everyone

has chosen a science project topic

except for Louie Anderson I'm still

considering all my options Louie the

projects are due next week I was

planning on coming down with the cold

next week hey maybe that could become my

science project here store this a couple

days we'll take a look and see what's

blown okay how about volcanoes sorry

Linda's doing volcanoes dinosaurs or any

failed by mr. Glenn projects our take on

let's see so far this year no one has

picked dung beetles what a shock no one

has picked me

Wow as much as I love the dung beetle

I'm gonna go to bees it's one thing to

have trouble with your science project

most kids do but how many kids have

trouble trying to find one here be

looking for a be any bee I'm not picky

hi Jeanie it's your lucky day I just

signed to let you help me find some bees

what are you saying I can't my dad and I

are in the middle of working on my

science project

what do you mean your dad well the

teacher said it's okay to get help from

your parents come on Jeannie let's take

her for a little test spin do you like

it

it's solar-powered

[Music]

hey Louie hey toddler how's your science

project going great

my dad helping me tea - and two minutes

and Counting son come on we're ready to

blast off I gotta go

we're test firing the rocket you want to

watch nah I gotta go home and help my

dad he's probably already working on my

project

[Music]

what are you doing homework this is my

science project please kind of a science

project as that I had a choice it was

either bees or dung beetles you should

have gone with the dung beetles at least

that's an insect you can work with so

are you gonna help me you can't these

are vicious they're nature's kamikaze

pilots the bayonets with wings

[Music]

minam old age well the bees destroyed

his spirit first an old age got him hey

thanks for your support dad that's what

I'm here for

what is going on out here

[Music]

how do you like our new RV did you have

a nice vacation

we had a great vacation hey come on over

tonight we'll show you slides from our

trip Dan let's go over there and see

their slides I don't wanna show us

slides they just want to brag about

their new RV rub it in our faces so to

speak they didn't say anything about

their RV Andy they're just going to show

pictures of their vacation wanna bet oh

this was at the rim of the Grand Canyon

oh now no pictures of the RV no way Andy

it's not in every shot only because you

have to take a boat to get to the Statue

of Liberty and here we are at Mount

Rushmore so with your vacation and

everything probably and started your

science project get alright started it's

almost done when we were crossing the

country in the RV I picked up seeds for

every state flower in the Union how's

yours going Wow I got two bees - bees

well no one's ever gonna accuse you of

being an overachiever darn - oh here we

are crossing the Hudson to get to the

Statue of Liberty fortunately they had a

ferry big enough for RV never heard such

extended gloating in my

like they give that army a big push down

a steep hill with all those Jensen's in

it oh I'm gonna slider that

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[Music]

it's like we're vacationing in the

Bahamas you kidding it's like a sign in

here I can't afford to lose much my way

[Music]

it's not his fault we can't afford an RV

Andy look if you want to raise money to

buy an RV like the Jetsons why don't you

get a hobby

I got a hobby it's called raising

children and it's no gold mine believe

me I mean a real hobby like my uncle

Haskell

do you remember rich uncle Haskell well

he made all those ships in a bottle sure

he did

he was a Navy man what else you have to

do when you're out at sea six months at

a time he made so much money he bought a

second home in the country yeah but did

it have wheels on it

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clicking glass pot baseball make a hobby

out of picking a hobby

[Music]

yes Pere Mathieu real honey sweet honey

as in I can afford a bigger harvey than

the Jensens honey

I purchased some friends for your beads

to play around with yeah they were

asking about point mates just the other

day now doing your father just wants to

help you said all the other kids are

getting help from their dads yeah but

you know and I know that my dad's not

like the other dads yeah what do you

mean by that

hey that's my beekeeper suit we're

talking to state-of-the-art fully

self-contained garment here here you

know the best science project in school

I suppose this has nothing to do with

you getting a new RV right the car's not

a fully equipped used RV is OK with me

too just as long as it's one inch bigger

than Jensen's my bee colony had a new

lease on life

it had worker bees and had a queen bee

and it also had one thing that most

hives don't have man I'm going in a king

bee with a w*r record why do you

you're late dad Halloween was months ago

all the books say that if you want the

bees to produce for you you've got to

earn the bees trust and you know what

what it means we have to become one with

the bees we hire a little higher

there

hey it's just me I wanna hear

come on

[Music]

finally hey Louie let me down

how's your science project coming along

well let's check out my science journal

so far these are my observations day two

Dan makes friends with the bees how are

you guys doing today

you may still work for and me my god

stung Oh day for that tames the bees and

organizes though we organizing this chef

maybe we can step up honey production so

let's blind Socrates a band word I was

given the fun task of counting the bees

in the colony 248 still hey Dan

he bees are their day fine dad teaches

of these tricks together you'll have to

work it's with a wide maybe what the

wise alright Big Finish now what's the

message of the day

[Music]

I of course was completely banned from

the project and had to watch from inside

the house I'm supposed to be observing

the bees not dad

now don't be overdramatic I'm gonna fail

my science class well your father has

been a little preoccupied I'll have a

talk with him though to tell you the

truth lately I haven't been able to get

a moment alone with him Andy I think we

need to talk I'm a little concerned

about how I love you guys have I told

you that today

well insect friends you're like the

family I never had

hi Lois

why aren't you working on your bee

colony I've been banned from the

backyard how's your project coming along

great

Texas is finally sprouting leaves and

the entire eastern seaboard is in bloom

hey I'll trade you a couple of bees for

the whole lying Islands Lois what are

you gonna do Oh No maybe I should just

bring my dad to class I've seen him out

back I think it's best he keep away from

the general public I'm in the middle of

a scary story so anyway he can

ha what are you doing not so loud my

friends here are very sensitive just

you've been spending way too much time

with these beans first you take over

Louie's project and then you'll hardly

speak to me for days you the one who

told me I should get a hobby

so I could buy an RV but you've become

obsessed Andi you're going to have to

make a choice it's either your family or

that bees can I have 24 hours well

that's big day finally arrived

it's my little bee buddies time to

collect on his investment by the

recreational vehicle of his dreams all

he needed was just one thing

[Music]

I wore the suit and I get bupkis dad

might have failed but I couldn't afford

to try to show something to mr. lamb

burger B hope I get an A what you got

there please Wow

this is gonna be a long day

[Music]

why who is really keen Louis is spleen

bluey technically

[Applause]

[Music]

very very good

next is Louie Anderson and the bees all

right

as most of you know my science project

is on the hierarchy of the bee colony

hmm

it can also be called a bee civilization

or a bee hive world or high dive or

maybe

[Music]

because of my intense work with the

insect community I was able to take two

bees and turn them into an entire swarm

before Louie

could have been worse and could have

been down everybody remain calm okay

remain calm kids as we all know bees are

famous for their chewing abilities stay

here class don't panic I'm gonna go get

help

Oh what's he gonna do can't Jed Anderson

we got an emergency my bees they're

going after the Queen of England that

queen bee and for the school good

goulash I do Ben hobby would get us well

come on let's go Anderson this is my

assistant Enrique he's taking a nap

[Music]

anything to get behind the wheel of my

in your dreams Johnson Drive

[Music]

I mean this both is taken hey Glenn

Glenn you weren't anything underneath

that

[Music]

mr. Lambert

[Music]

yes three stops for gas already you

could put a kid through college with the

money across the fuel this thing okay

okay okay you're right

it's an overrated vehicle the only

reason our pocket next to your house was

so that maybe you would like it enough

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by going inside

my god quickly quickly open the door

Janssen

[Music]

let's go everybody okay hey miss rooms

you

don't all be too but I bet they're not

honeybees at all

their voice taste again where exactly

are we going Anderson

[Music]

you know we're the best I've ever known

be free there you go that way so funny

away what are you doing down sending

themselves to Tennessee now your grandma

delicious our the him harness your study

on the social hierarchy and bees gets a

d-plus thanks dad

however your brilliant study on one

man's acutely bizarre and dysfunctional

relationship with nature and reality

gets an a so overall your and be miners

I did

I'm sorry if I ruined your science

project

that's okay thanks to your bizarre

relationship with reality you should see

your Amelie thanks again a descendant

don't call me pick the B's over you in

the family honey mr. honey bunny dad

hung up is antenna for good and for a

moment everything was back to normal on

the little colony of Cedar Knoll back at

the hive I tried to be a good little

worker and the queen bee well she

finally got some of the attention she

deserved a where'd you get that picture

gelatin now that's not funny hear me

mute me idea