01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

- MR. GONE NARRATES:
Most of us inhabit at least two worlds...

the real world,
where we're at the mercy of

circumstance, and the world
within, the unconscious,

a safe place where we can
escape.

The Maxx shifts between these
worlds...against his will.

Here, homeless, he lives
in a box in an alley.

The only one who really cares
for him is Julie Winters,

a freelance social worker.

But in Pangaea, the other world,
he rules the Outback

and is the protector of Julie,
his Jungle Queen.

- There, he cares for her.

But he always ends up
back in the real world.

And me, old Mr. Gone...

Only I can see that
the secret which unites them

could destroy them.

I could be helpful.

Ah, screw it!

I think I'll have some fun
with them, first.

- MAXX NARRATES: It's wet,
dark and wet, the kind of

weather that penetrates,
makes your skin feel itchy

and oily...dirty, kind of,
but real, too.

That's good.

It's time for "Cheers":
Sam and Diane and Norm Peterson,

the Coach, and then, after he
died, Woody.

I don't have a TV now,
but that's okay.

The shows in my mind are almost
always better.

The theater crowd's just
arriving.

- This isn't the Jewetson.

We're still three blocks...

- Rats! Never mind. I'll walk.
Idiot.

Doesn't even know his own
stupid business.

- Hey, more goods.

- Yeah, Randy delivers,
don't he?

- Heh heh.

- MAXX: The skinny one's
Tito, the big one's Fridge.

They beat people up, take their
money, k*ll them sometimes.

The cab driver gets a third.

One woman got away by running
three blocks on a broken foot.

- WOMAN:

- Sometimes it's luck
that saves them.

- Sometimes it's fate.

- Hey, Fridge, here's
another one.

You ever seen anybody with so
much change in their purse,

huh, Fridge?

I, I say, you ever seen
anybody with...

Wha...Who are you?

- Yeah, usually it's fate.

But sometimes...
- It's me!

- POLICE OFFICER:
Yes, and sometimes it's us.

All right, everybody freeze!

- Damn, I was talking out
loud again.

- FRIDGE: Hey, officers, uh,
good thing that you stopped by.

Uh, this big purple nutcase
here was going to k*ll us.

Oh, god...

Finally, the cops.

- The police are gone.

- Hey, you're not...
- No, I'm not.

- WOMAN:

- OFFICER: Say, Baker, the call
mentioned a possible female

victim.

Do you remember any woman
back there?

- Nah, if there was a victim
or something,

I think we'd have seen her.

- Yeah, I guess.
What do we do with laughing boy?

- I don't know if we can hold
him, though.

There was no as*ault victim,
no muggers, no little blue man,

nothing.

- So we run him in for
loitering, as usual.

- You know, it must be great
being nuts.

You get to dress up in purple
underwear, mumble to yourself,

do whatever you want, and have
other people clean up your mess.

- Yeah, like us.

- Oh, god...

- All right, all right,
let's pipe down back there.

- OFFICER BAKER:

- I hate this.

I'm out of control again.

I don't remember where I was
this week.

I saw a paper.

It said it was Friday.

Last I remember, it was Sunday.

- OFFICER BAKER: I love,
cheese.

I love the stinky stuff, too,
like that blue in the back

there.

- OFFICER:

- Oh, god...

It's started again.

The pounding.

God, I wish I were drunk...at
least that would explain this!

- Great.

Where the heck am I now?

So now what?

These hands...each as strong
as a man.

Hungry as death.

They will drag a man down to
nothingness.

To oblivion!

It's starting to fade.

It's starting to come back
to me now.

Back to Australia.

Not the Australia they teach you
about in the cities...

the Outback.

No, the real Australia,
the smoking caves, the gods

who eat mountains, the flying
dragons, the rivers of gold,

the Leopard Queen taunting me,
almost an enemy, beautiful

and feral as the great beasts
she runs with.

Still, she inspires me.

For her I can be...

a hero!

- JULIE: Aw, geez, who writes
this crap?

I've gotta ask you some
questions from the psychological

exam to see if you qualify
for social assistance.

- Hello, City Health
and Human Services.

Hey, Mr. Berg.

Uh, the rent?

Can you hold on just a second?

- BERG: Hey, wait
a minute, Julie, Julie.

- So, here's the first
question.

Who's the President right now?

- Um...um...

Oh...oh, wait a minute...

Um...

No. No.

- BERG: Julie, hello?

- Okay, okay, okay.

We'll come back to that.

- BERG: Hello?

- So, here's the next question.

If you were lost in an airport,
what's the first thing you'd do?

- Um...

Uh...

Uh...

I've never been in an airport
before.

- Oh, goody, I'll just mark
that right down.

- And I've never seen a social
worker dressed like you

neither.

Kinda like a hooker.

- Thanks, for sharing that.

Keep in mind that I have a job
while you have a blanket

with vomit on it.

- I like my blanket.

- BERG: Is there anybody there?

Hello? Hello?

Julie, can you...

- Hello, City Health and...
- MALE VOICE: I did it all

for you, Julie.

The pain, the sex.

It was all for you.

- Phone creeps!

- Listen, filth...
- Police.

- Oh, hello, Sergeant Ocono.

- OCONO: I heard that.

- No, I didn't mean you.

I would never call you that...

to your face.

- OCONO: I've got your
purple pal here.

- You've got him again?

- OCONO: He bit Baker's finger
off again.

- Okay, I'll be right down.

- OCONO: He's being a big
pain in my...

- Yeah, I know he gives you
a lot of trouble.

- OCONO: I don't get paid
enough for this job.

- I know...you don't get paid
nearly enough.

I'll bring the usual. Bye.

- OCONO: All right. Bye.

You know, if it weren't
for the graft, corruption,

and violence, this city wouldn't
be any fun at all.

as*ault and battery.

Breaking and entering.

Attempted m*rder.

Every time it's something
different.

He really thinks he's some kind
of flaming superhero...not that

the city couldn't use one.

- OCONO: Hey, Miss Julie.

- Hi, Ocono.

You got a package for me?

- You got a package for me?

You shouldn't hang around with
wacko creeps like that,

Miss Julie.

They just had a college
professor on the radio that's

saying how women send out
certain signals and that's what

attracts these scumballs
like that Gone character.

Maybe I'm out of line here, but
with a flaky get-up like that,

aren't you worried about
sending out the wrong signals?

- OCONO: Signal loud and clear.

He's in back.

- There, that wasn't so hard
for a reasonably intelligent

mammal, now was it?

- OCONO:

- Hey, Maxx, it's getting
harder and harder to buy you

outta here.

I heard you almost bit off
Baker's finger this time.

- I didn't do it.

- Well, he just got 12 stitches
to hold his hand together.

Now if it wasn't you,
then who did it?

- It was the mask.

- Yeah, right.

- I warned him not to get
too close.

- Let's just drop it, okay?

Come on, ya old lug.

Let's get ya some new clothes,
food, and a hot bath.

- Okay, but no bubbles
this time.

- ♪ I'm in love
♪ With a school bus driver

♪ He can be...

- MAN: Safe home, dear friends,
and come again, to behold the

mysteries of MTV's "Oddities."