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02x04 - All the Gory Details!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tales from the Cryptkeeper". Aired: September 18, 1993 – December 4, 1999.*
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Series details the Cryptkeeper telling more kid-friendly horror stories to the viewers, each with a teachable lesson.

02x04 - All the Gory Details!

Post by bunniefuu »

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[Scary laughter]

Welcome, boils and ghouls,

To our fright at the opera.

Operatic scarias always make

Me cry my eyes out.

I guess even i, the

Cold-blooded cryptkeeper, have

A soft spot after all.

Yeah, and it's between

Your ears!

What the...

Guessssss whoooooo!

[Smooch]

Oh, no!

It's none other than

The black and blue ingenue

Of enchantment.

The panty hose of the opera.

The peach of the orchestra

Pit.

The ooooold witch!

Take a walk, sister.

Humph!

Time to liven this place

Up.

So, what do ya get when ya

Cross a ghost with a chicken?

Ya get off the stage!

Wrong, crypty.

Ya get a peck-a-boo!

Ha-ha-ha!

It's time for this

Screamadonna to do her swan

Song.

So, what do ya get when ya

Cross a witch with an igloo?

I don't know.

What?

Aaahhh!

A cold spell!

Hee-hee-hee!

That's a good one.

So, back to today's terror

Tale... A wail of a fearjerker

I call... "The weeping woman."

Heh-heh-heh!

Mildred, I thought you said

You could drive.

I can, camille.

Nobody told me I was gonna

Hafta shift.

Well, mildred, I think it's

Safe to say that we are

A hundred per cent officially

Lost.

Great.

What else could go wrong?

It could rain.

[Thunder and lightning]

Yup... Looks like one of those

Torrential storms when zombies

Walk and creatures

Of the night come outtt!

Aaahhh!

Camille!

If I've told you once, I've

Told you a thousand times,

Camille, I've given up all

That ghoul-chasing,

Demon-hunting stuff.

Aw, come on.

Like they say, demons are

A ghoul's best friend.

Maybe for you, but I've

Traded in my wooden stake.

Ha-ha-ha!

For a teddy bear?

Hee-hee-hee!

Ha-ha-ha!

Teddy bears.

I'm collecting them.

Aaahhh!

We've got rain, it's dark,

And our car's dead.

Don't say that!

Cool!

Raging storm.

Stranded car.

All we need now is...

A spooky-looking, run-down

Victorian hotel?

Ha-ha!

Double cool!

Double groan.

Aaahhh!

Whoaaa!

Is this place great, or what?

I wonder if it's haunted?

Don't start with me,

Camille.

Let's just get a room, go

To sleep, and... [Cough,

[Cough]... Get out of here

First thing tomorrow.

Aaah!

Aaah!

Don't worry, mildred.

She won't bite...

Most likely.

Excuse me, ma'am?

May we use the phone?

I have to call my aunt

Felicity.

She's expect...

Wait, let me guess.

The phone lines are down.

Of course, why not?

Next the power's going to... Go

Off.

Cool!

Go dry up... I-i mean, dry

Off, and just leave this

To me.

Where are we going,

Camille?

And why do we have

Our sleeping bags?

I've got us the best room

In the house.

Ooof!

Aaahhh!

The attic?

Camille, I don't want to stay

In the attic!

Don't be a stick

In the mud.

I let camille book our room

At spook central?

I oughta have my head

Examined.

Wow!

I gotta tell you, camille,

I hate this a lot.

Aaahhh!

Ooof!

Just the stairs... Weenie!

Like you weren't scared!

You know, supernatural

Spectres exist in old places

Just like this.

There's very compelling

Evidence.

Stop!

Want me to wake

You if I see a ghost?

No.

Just do me a favour... Leave

The light on.

[Blows out candle]

Thanks.

[Gasp!]

Camille!

Camille!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Yiiiieeeeee!

Ouch!

Cool!

Why... Morning, ladies.

Didn't mean to startle ya,

Heh.

Mrs. Bates phoned me and gave

Me a call.

Said your car was broke down.

Thanks, but... Uh... We don't

Need any help, really.

Yes, we do, mildred!

Name is emmett.

No, we don't, camille!

I'm the town mechanic.

Mildred, yes!

Camille, no!

Well, if you change

Your mind, my tow truck is

Right over there.

Weenie!

Humph!

Well... Uh... Give me

About an hour to take a look.

♪ Do-do-do-doo ♪♪

♪ A tisket, a tasket ♪♪

♪ A little yellow basket ♪♪

♪ Wrote a letter to my love ♪♪

♪ And on the way, I dropped it

♪♪

Doh!

Crimenally!

Oil everywhere!

♪ Do-do-do-do-do-doo ♪♪

Come on, mildred, let's go

See what we can find out

About our weeping woman.

No way!

I've had enough of that spook

Stuff, especially after last

Night.

I'm going window shopping.

Great!

Bring me back some shutters.

You know something, yorick,

My pal?

Camille would really like this

Place.

[Piano playing]

Oh, hi.

I'm just...

Hello?

Anyone there?

Get outta town!

Ha-ha-ha!

Very nice.

Awww!

Ha-ha-ha!

Awww... Well, what do you know

A teddy bear for

My collection.

[Whimpering]

Wh-who's there?

[Gasp!]

Huh?

Aaah!

Ahhh...

Mildred?

Mildred?

Mildred?

Mildred!

You scared me to death!

You're welcome.

Just wait to you hear this.

Shhh... Wait!

First you have to listen

To this.

I-i heard... I don't

Know... Whimpering.

It didn't sound like

A teddy bear, did it?

Humph!

Wait, I gotta tell ya!

Okay, a ship sunk off

The coast near the inn

Over a hundred years ago.

So?

The inn is built

From the timbers of the ship

That washed up on shore.

And you think your weeping

Woman was a passenger on that

Ship?

Now all we gotta do is

Figure out why she's crying.

Well, too bad we're not

Sticking around to find out.

Aw, mildred!

Good news, girls.

Car will be ready first thing

In the morning.

[Weeping]

Camille, wake up!

Just ten more minutes, mom.

Camille!

Camille!

Camille!

She's baaack!

Camille!

Ohhh...

Aahhh!

Huh?

What's going on?

[Gasp!]

What did you do to her,

Mildred?

Me?

She's your ghost.

I'm sticking to teddy bears,

Remember?

I thought I'd never say

This, but this is getting

Kinda scary.

Look out!

Aaahhh!

Whoa, she's mad!

No kidding!

Aahh... Ooof!

Camille!

Mildred!

That's not gonna help!

Tell me about it.

Aaahhh!

Uhhh...

Ooof!

Get... Get off me!

You get off me first!

Aaahhh!

Think, mildred, think!

Maybe it was something

You said!

I didn't say anything.

I just... Keep her busy!

I'll be right back!

Right back?

Wait!

Mildred!

Aaahhh... Ooof!

Aaahhh... Ooof!

[Gasp!]

It's... It's okay.

I-i know you're here.

Y-y-you can come out.

[Weeping]

[Gulp!]

I'm... I'm not going to hurt

You.

Is this what you want?

[Weeping]

Keep her busy!

I'll be right back!

If I don't get out of this,

I'll be back to haunt

Mildred... And her teddy bears!

Yes!

N-nooo!

Aaahhh!

All right, I'll give it up!

No more spooks and ghosts

And monsters.

I promise.

I heard that!

So, tell me.

It was the teddy bear.

It belonged to her daughter.

No wonder she went gonzo

When she saw it.

They'd been separated since

The ship went down.

And that's why she was

Weeping... The mother here,

And the little girl

At the curio shop.

But what made you put it

Together?

I-i had a feeling,

But there was also the crying

In the shop... And this.

Boo-hoo-hoo...

You know, I'm glad you had

That annoying sentimental

Streak.

After tonight, I think I've

Had my fill of ghosts

For a while.

Camille!

All right, all right,

Forever.

Mildred, the only thing

Scarier than an inn full

Of ghosts is your driving.

Boy, that's the last time

I'll save you from certain

Death.

Which reminds me, we've got

To find a teddy bear to start

Your collection.

I didn't mean that,

Mildred.

I was under stress.

Mildred, look!

My teddy.

So?

But didn't she... I mean,

Isn't that...

Step on it, mildred!

You don't have to ask

Twice, camille.

Mildred and camille never

Expected they'd get caught up

In a spirited game of haunt

And seek.

After all, like their

Ghostess, they were just

Passing through.

Even so, it was a boo-tiful

Fright when they reunited

The little girl ghost

With her long-lost

Trans-parent.

It even had camille wailing!

Hee-hee!

I guess you could say... You

Weep what you sow.

I'm baaaaaack!

Oh, no!

As if "mad man butterfly"

Wasn't enough, now it's

"Doomhilda, the sequel."

So, what do ya call

A nervous witch?

A twitch!

Heh-heh-heh-heh!

I got a million of 'em.

Oh well, as they say, it's

Not over 'till the bat lady

Shrieks.

And now I really have

Something to cry about.

Boo-hoo-hoo...

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