02x06 - Dead Men Don't Jump!

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[Scary laughter]

Ah, greetings, sports

Fangs!

You're just in time

For the maim event.

The crowd is doing the wave,

Rooting for the world stadium

Bone team.

All right, over the crypt, off

The headstone, and back

Through the tarantula web.

Nothing but net.

I see your crypt,

Headstone, and tarantula,

Cryptkeeper, and raise

You offers on the

Around-the-werewolf

And through the blob.

Nothing but goop.

It's my show and my ball.

Winner hosts today's show!

Over my live body,

Vaultkeeper!

Timmmmme out!

[Whistle blows]

Guess whooo-hoo!

Heh-heh-heh-heh!

Six, hex, six, eight.

Who do you nauseate?

A hoop-sh**ting,

Hip-shaking,

Bubble-toil-and-trouble

Making, festering, gesturing

Jockette, the ooooold witch.

Yeeeaaah!

[Smooch].

Say, what do ya call a witch's

Motorcycle?

A brooooom stick!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Ach-hem.

So now, on to today's

Half-time entertainment...

A bewitching little story

About a rather handsome,

Rather muscular athlete who

Was determined to find an easy

Way to the top.

It's called, "dead men don't"

Jump."

All right!

Yeah, baby!

And the crowd goes wild!

Uh-huh.

Yes!

Haaa... Haaa.

Nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Man, you shoulda known

Better.

The champ never loses.

Beautiful, baby!

I'm telling you, you're

Dynamite.

I got another sucker... Uh,

Competitor all lined up.

What about school, nathe?

You coming, or what?

Aw, man, look what

The dweeb patrol forgot

To recruit.

Knock it off, marvin.

He's still my little brother.

I've got some business to take

Care of, aaron.

But if you cut anymore

Classes...

Then what?

No diploma?

Oooh!

Marvin's right, aaron,

A diploma isn't going improve

My hook shot.

So you're gonna hustle

Hoops for the rest

Of your life?

No way!

Marvin's gonna set up a big

Time match.

Big time!

That's gonna put us on easy

Street.

Easy street... Driving

A truckload of money.

That's a load, all right.

It'll happen, little bro',

But until it does...

We're not hurting one bit.

Here, aaron.

Go buy yourself some books

Or something.

No thanks, nathe.

Nothing for nothing.

That's the way it works.

You don't need school to learn

That.

What's with him?

It's like he likes to work

Hard.

That's his way of getting

To where he's going.

Unlike those of us who are

On the fast track to fame

And fortune.

I can do without the fame,

Just give me the fortunnne!

[School bell ringing]

I know you don't say much,

And you don't need to explain,

But... I expected a little more

Notice.

Hey, but... But that's okay.

It's cool.

Don't sweat it, you know,

We be there.

I'll set it up.

Say, how do I know you can do

What you say... Huh?

[Gasp!]

Yup!

Somethin' tells me, this is

One serious dude.

Ha-ha-ha!

Nathan!

I let ya put that hoop up

'Cause ya promised you'd keep

Your brother away from it!

Sorry, mr. Armstrong.

It won't happen again.

These kids will be

The death of me.

Lousy pests.

Getting close, eh, aaron?

Give it up, dweeb.

You couldn't hoop a ball

If your life depended on it.

Marvin, what did I tell

You about that?

Hey, facts are facts.

And you just gotta remind

Him every time you see him

In case he forgets?

All right, something's up.

Come on, let's have it.

The big one!

It's on.

When?

Aww... In about an hour.

Impossible, marvin.

I can't.

What?

Impossible!

Nathan, you gotta!

I'm grounded, marvin.

The school called.

Oh, man!

What are we going to do?

This is thee big one.

This guy's not gonna give us

A second pass.

I'm grounded.

What? Forget grounded!

Did you hear me?

Come on, let's go. Marvin...

Hey, nope, nope.

You supposed to be my friend.

Yeah.

Right!

How long have I known you?

Long time.

All right, all right, all

Right.

All right.

Cool!

Ahh... Watch the fingers!

Aw, sorry, man.

Aaahhh!

Ooof!

Shhh!

Yaahhh!

You're supposed to be

Grounded, nathan.

And you're history, dweeb.

Hey!

I know, aaron, I know.

But this is important.

And you're not gonna mess

It up for us.

It's the big match, little

Brother.

The one I've always been

Waiting for.

It's happening!

Come on, he's not going

To wait all day.

It's gonna happen.

I gotta do this.

Next time we see you,

Dweeb, we'll be driving

A truckload of money down easy

Street.

Heh-heh-heh...

Nothing that good comes

Easy.

This looks pretty weird,

Marvin.

Why do we have to meet here?

What's wrong with the school

Yard?

This is a whole different

League, champ.

All right.

Who's this guy I'm up against?

H-how much are we playing for,

A-and do I get...

Chill, nathan.

With an opportunity like this,

I'm not gonna ask too many

Questions.

Just play along.

Believe me, you won't believe

How big this big one is.

So?

Man... This guy gonna show,

Or what?

[Gulp!]

Ah-heh-heh.

Guess you know who I am.

Who are you?

The big silent type, huh?

Am I right?

Am i?

Aaahhh!

There's... There's nothing

In there!

Who... Who is that guy,

Marvin?

Relax, man!

Just know that this guy has

The power to grant

You anything you want.

Anything?

Anything.

Whatever you want, this guy

Can make it happen.

I said this was big.

So, what's it going to be,

Nathan?

Maybe a truckload of money?

I wanna play pro ball.

Yeah, pro... Huh?

What happened to our truckload

Of money?

The money's not important,

Marvin.

What I want more than anything

Else is to play serious

Basketball.

Since when?

It's been my dream, man.

Since... Always.

Never told anyone

Because my chances were one

In a million.

But now...

Not this way, nathe.

Aaron, what are you doing

Here?

You wanna play pro?

Start with college ball, then

Work it up from there.

You're talking years, man.

Grades, homework.

Besides, that's your way,

Little brother.

Slow and steady.

Man, don't you see?

I've got a chance to get it

All now... My way.

Go for it, nathan.

Pro ball isn't exactly

The poor house, is it?

And I'll still get ten per

Cent.

Fame, fortune!

But what happens

If you lose?

[Evil laughter]

Looks like you make

The other team.

But you never lose.

You can't win!

All right!

Heh-heh-heh-heh!

Simple rules.

One basket, one point.

First to seven points wins.

Go, nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Come on, nathan.

Nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

All the way!

All the way!

All the waaaaay!

Aw, yeah!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Nathan!

Come on, nathan.

Just one more.

All the waaayyyyy!

I'm going all the way!

All right!

Huh?

Aaahhh!

[Gasp!]

He's been toying with me.

Huh?

Huh?

Heh-heh-heh...

This is all your fault.

You set this whole thing up.

He came to me!

Don't worry, nathan can take

Him!

No sweat.

Ohhh... Man, time, time, time!

You blocked that shot, nathan!

You're coming back!

How bad is it, nathe?

It'll hold.

Aaahhh!

A sprain, great!

One point, nathan, that's all

You need.

It's over, marvin.

He can't get up.

If he doesn't get up,

He forfeits the game!

Nathan loses!

Heh-heh-heh-heh...

Come on, you gotta get up!

You got to!

Aahh!

It's no use.

Ach-hem.

Wait!

I'll substitute for you,

Nathe.

Aaron?

Are you crazy?

Yeah, a substitute!

You know he couldn't hoop

A ball if his life depended

On it.

I don't mean aaron, marvin.

I mean you.

You are crazy.

Marvin, take over.

No way, man!

You're not getting me

On the court with that guy!

Okay, so I can't do it.

It's impossible.

But you're my brother, nathe.

I've gotta try.

Well, how about it?

Ooof!

Thanks.

[Evil laughter]

[Gasp!]

Woo-hoo!

Yes!

Yes!

You the man!

Right in the basket!

Um-hmm... Right in the basket!

That's right!

Yeah!

[Gasps!]

He ripped us off!

We beat him.

Where's the payoff?

I'd say getting out

Of there in one piece is

Payoff enough.

You said it, little bro'.

I demand a rematch!

You'll have to get yourself

A new player, marvin.

But... But... But what

About fame?

Fortune?

A truckload of money?

So you think I'd make

A college team?

With a little work to pull

Your grades up.

Ha-ha-ha... Ouch!

Haa... There's that word again

Work.

So you see, going

For the quick payoff almost

Turned nathan into a basket

Case.

But he scared big in the end

By finally realizing that

If you really want something

You won't mind working to get

It.

Uh-oh.

Looks like my spell wore off.

Hee-hee, hee-hee!

Ha-ha-ha!

Heh-heh-heh!

I'lllll...

Beeeee...

Baaaaack!

Owwww!

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes.

Over the hot coals.

Ohhhhh!

Off the electric fence.

Owwww!

And through the guillotine.

Ooohhh!

And no net!

Oh, no!

What have you done?

Unhand me!

So until next shriek, boils

And ghouls, remember, it's

Every monster for himself.

Hee-hee-hee...

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