02x12 - Chuck (and Melvin) and the Beanstalker

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[Scary laughter]

Bonjour, boils and ghouls.

Welcome to ghoulie's

Gastronomique restaurant.

Casket for two?

Heh-heh-ha-ha!

I'll be with you in one

Moment.

Sorry for the wait.

Oh, well, I guess we won't be

Getting a tip from those

Dead-beats.

Hee-hee-hee!

Who do I have to turn

Into a frog to get some

Service around here?

Oh, no!

Guesssss whoo-hoo!

The doggy-bagging, chow-hound,

Haggard ooolldd witch!

I'm so hungry I could eat

A hearse.

Do you serve stuffed bats

Here?

We serve anybody.

What would you like?

How about a new waiter?

[Clock ticking]

Well?

You're the waiter, so wait.

I do have other customers.

Oohhh.

What is it?

Catch of the day...

Aaahhh!

You!

Tonight we have a tasty,

Gut-wrenching special...

A fiendish fable guaranteed

To make your bile bubble.

Heh-heh-ha-ha!

It's a scary tale about two

Starving brothers whose

Monstrous hunger leads them

Into a giant pickle.

I call it..."Chuck and melvin

And the beanstalker."

Hee-hee-ha-ha!

I-i can't believe this.

It means certain death

To anyone who dares enter

The thick, dark forest,

And we're doing it

For the second time.

Oh, stop being such

A coward, melvin.

Aaahhh!

What?

Bags... Under my eyes!

I look so drawn and tired

And... And... Hungry.

If I don't get something

To eat soon, melvin, my looks

Will be destroyed.

Why, I'll start to look like

Like you.

Well, we are twins.

Not identical!

I don't care how frightened

You are, melvin, we've got

To go through the dank, thark

Forest and find the... Cage

Of the trader.

That's the cave

Of the trader, chuck, and it's

...

Cage, cave... Whatever.

We'll find the trader,

And we'll trade for food.

Food, melvin, food!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

I'm just as hungry

As you are, but I've heard

The trader is not to be

Trusted, that he will demand

An inhumanly high price for...

I don't care what he wants.

Why, I'd trade my soul for...

For... Sole!

Fillet of sole dripping

In butter with asparagus

In a cream sauce.

So, lead on, melvin,

Through the thick, darn

Forest.

And fear not!

Why, splendor and I could

Cross through this forest

In our sleep.

Sure, just like last time.

Sleep.

Faint with hunger.

Yes, too weak to keep

My eyes... Sleep...

I'll lead ya through

The forest.

I'll deal with the various

Horrifying monsters who want

To tear us limb from limb.

You two sleep.

I'll wake you up when we're

Through, just like last time.

Waa-ha-ha-h*!

Chuck, wake up, chuck!

Huh?

Aaahhh!

Melvin, you look... Terrible.

Oh, sorry to startle you.

I should say so.

You might at least have taken

A bath and changed

Your clothes before you woke

Us up.

Sorry, I wasn't thinking.

Well, here we are.

Is that...

That's right.

The cave of the trader.

How can we... How can we be

Sure we have the right place?

This is the place.

Well, go ahead,

Melvin... Knock.

No, i-i think you should

Knock.

Oh, melvin, what difference

Does it make who knocks?

No difference.

So go ahead, knock!

No, you knock!

You knock!

No!

No need to knock.

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Go ahead, melvin, speak

To him.

Speak!

W-w-w-well, you see,

Mr. Trader, sir, we're very

Hungry.

Very hungry!

Yes, and... Uh... We've come

To trade for food.

And what do you have

To offer in trade?

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

That's very clever.

You must be a ventilator...

That is, a

Ventriloquilt-maker.

Get on with it!

Get on with it, melvin.

I'll just show it

Something.

What is this?

Well, it's... Uh... Pepper,

Salt, basil, coriander,

Nutmeg... Various spices.

You know... Uh, condiments.

Condiments?

I don't want your stinking

Condiments!

He doesn't want

The condiments, melvin.

But that's all we have.

Everyone has something that

He values over all else.

Something that is more

Important to him then all

The wealth in the world.

You think that I would part

With my own brother, my own

Flesh and blood, for a...

A large garden salad

With calorie-wise dressing?

Sold.

I am not interested in that

Skinny little man!

It's the horseflesh I'm

Interested in.

You mean... Splendor?

Never!

Never!

Not even for a bag

Of beans?

[Horse whinnies]

And when I get you back,

Splendor, why, we'll floss.

We'll floss like we've never

Flossed before.

Are they done yet?

Are the beans done yet?

Not quite yet, but...

How much longer?

Just a few...

Give me those beans!

[Slurp], puhh... These beans

Taste terrible.

I've been trying to tell

You... I don't think we're

Supposed to eat them.

The trader said they were

Magic beans.

Then maybe they need

A little more pepper.

Ahhh!

How could you do this, melvin?

How could you trade my horse

My beloved splendor...

For a bag of beans?

And bad beans at that!

They're magic beans!

They are bad beans, melvin!

Bad beans!

Bad beans!

Bad beans!

Oh, melvin... I'll never see

Splendor again.

We'll never again gamble

In the grass.

Ohhh... No more splendor

In the grass.

Boo-hoo-hoo...

[Snoring]

Huh?

[Gasp!]

Incredible!

Magnificent!

Yes, it's true.

I am quite incredibly

Magnificent-looking, even

First thing in the morning.

Ha-ha-ha.

Look, chuck!

[Gasp!]

It's a balkstean.

Beanstalk.

Maybe those beans really were

Magic.

Of course they were.

I remember reading stories

About this when I was a boy.

I read them to you.

There's something

About gold.

Something golden at the top

Of the beefsteak.

Beanstalk.

There's something golden

At the top of that... Thing.

A golden egg, a golden bird,

A golden piano?

A golden harp?

I remember now!

A golden harp!

That's right!

But the story also told

Of a giant.

A giant golden harp!

Do you know what I could trade

A giant golden harp for?

Food?

Food, melvin, food!

Why, I could get a whole

Supermarket.

A chain of supermarkets.

No, I could get a chain

Of supermarkets!

I'll call them charming

Markets, and I'll never go

Hungry again.

Ooof!

B-but what about the giant?

What?

The giant!

Giant what?

Never mind.

Oooh...

Uhhh... I had no idea

Climbing up one of these...

These... These... Thingies was

Such hard work.

Me neither.

Oh, I can't be carried one

More step.

I've got to rest, melvin.

I-i don't think we better

Stop now, chuck.

Go away.

Forty winks, no more.

Wowww!

Whoooaaa!

Ooof!

Melvin, don't you ever do

That again!

[Gasp!]

Look!

What a giant house.

Wonder who lives there.

A giant.

It sure is, but I wonder

Who lives there.

Ohhh...

Well, go ahead, melvin,

You slip first.

No, I think you should slip

First.

What difference was it make

Who slips...

Whoooaaa!

Ooof!

You lead the way this time,

Melvin.

[Gasp!]

I wonder what's making that

Noise.

I-i-it's like a giant rumble.

Ooof... Would you watch

Where you're going, melvin.

You led me right into that

Tree.

That's not a tree.

It's a footstool.

A giant footstool.

And a giant foot!

It's a... A giant!

Why didn't you tell me there

Was going a be a giant here,

Melvin?

Surprise.

I've never seen anything

So beautiful in my life!

Beautiful?

H-h-he's ugly... Big-time

Ugly!

But look, melvin, look!

On his lips and chin.

Huge, gigantic crumbs.

Could be potato chips.

Could be garlic bread.

Could be carrot cake.

Could be eczema.

Let me go.

Get your own crumbs!

Shhh!

You know what they say... Let

Sleeping giants nap.

Aaahhh!

Look!

The golden harp!

[Snoring]

Chuck, quiet!

Heh-heh-heh!

I must have that harp!

Okay, but quietly!

What's wrong with this

Door?

It's stuck.

It's locked, chuck.

Well, of course it's

Locked!

It's locked!

It's locked!

Why is it locked?

Find me the key, melvin.

Key equals harp.

Harp equals food.

I must have...

Aaahhh...

That's it, melvin!

Get the key!

Melvin, in here!

Hurry!

I-i-i'm okay.

Uh... Uh...

My key.

My dear, precious key.

[Smooch, smooch...]

[Gasp!]

Uh-oh!

Must be something

In the water.

Whoooaaa!

Ha-ha-ha!

Hee-hee-hee!

Melviiin, give me a haaand!

No, chuck, quiet!

The giant!

Oh, never mind the giant.

Nothing will wake up that big

Slob.

Aaahhh!

Arrrggg!

Fe-fi-fo-feep!

Who darest disturb the giant's

Sleep?

Aaahhh!

Fe-fi-fo-fat!

Oh, it's just you, ya silly

Cat.

Go play in the basement while

I... [Yawn]... Go upstairs

For a nap.

The giant's gone, and so's

The cat!

It just doesn't get any

Better than this.

Have you got it?

I got it.

Have you go it?

I got it!

Good.

[Crash]

Ooof!

Is everything all right,

Melvin?

Anything broken?

I-i-i think I'm okay.

Not you, melvin!

The harp!

It looks all right.

I'm so relieved.

It's too heavy, chuck.

We'll never get it out

Of here.

Why, we'd need a... A...

[Horse whinnies]

A horse?

Splendor!

Oh, when I found out melvin

Had traded you for a bag

Of bad beans, I was so upset.

I thought I'd never see

You again.

[Smooch].

Bad melvin.

Bad, bad melvin!

[Smooch, smooch].

You two have a very strange

Relationship.

But... B-but we left him

With the trader.

Never mind that, melvin.

Let's go.

This way.

Oh... H-h-hello, mr. Trader,

Sir.

Fancy meeting you here.

Heh-heh-heh.

I live here.

I-i-isn't it a little... Big

For you?

Ha-ha-ha...

Ha-ha-ha!

I don't think you shoulda

Done that, chuck.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

He's laughing, melvin.

That's good.

But he's grown, melvin.

That's not so good.

And he's green... He's giant

He's green.

Aaahhh!

But not exactly jolly.

What?

What is he?

Spectres, ogres,

Mutants... Uh-oh!

What?

Just as I thought.

He's a beanstalker!

Melvin, by chance, what do

Beanstalkers eat?

Bein's.

Whew, that's a relief!

Human bein's.

Huh?

Roaaarrr!

Runnnnn!

Whoooaaa!

Quick, melvin, we forgot

Splendor!

Go save him!

Sure thing, chuck.

And don't forget the harp!

Horse, harp... Hey, wait

A minute!

Ahhh!

Ooof!

Where's the harp, melvin?

Roaaarrr!

Aaahhh!

Melvin, do something!

Wait!

That's it?

Wait?

We taste much better

With a few condiments.

Condiments?

Yes, you know, some... Some

Basil, or garlic salt, o-o-or

Pepper?

Hmmm?

Aaahhh!

Ah-ah-ah-choo!

You know, melvin, I don't

Think I've ever actually seen

Anybody explode from a sneeze

Before.

Me neither.

[Horse whinnies]

Together again.

It just doesn't get any better

Than this.

Splendor, what's wrong, boy?

Huh?

Chuck, look!

They're everywhere!

Aaahhh!

Sorry, melvin, no room.

Yieeee!

Melvin, it's gone!

The beanstalk's gone!

Splendor, you're all right.

[Smooch].

Oh, and the harp's all right.

I'm all right, too, thanks.

[Gasp!]

Wait a minute.

This harp isn't all right.

It isn't gold.

It's just cheap wood.

I-i-it was just painted

Gold.

And with watercolours.

Bad harp, bad harp, baaad

Harp!

Chuuuck!

I can't believe you made me

Go through all this for a bad

Harp.

Me?

Ooof!

This is the end

Of the line, melvin.

I'm tired of looking after

You and getting nothing

But trouble for it.

Hey, the strings are gold.

Ha-ha!

I'm not coming back

For you this time, melvin.

That's okay!

Hee-hee-hee!

A fortune in gold strings,

Heh-heh.

Enough to buy a whole chain

Of supermarkets!

Melvin markets!

Hah-ha-ha...

I mean it, melviiinnn...

Just as melvin had taken

As much as he could stomach,

Chuck got his just desserts.

Hee-hee-ha-ha!

Speaking of witch... I wonder

If the old battle-axe is

Feeling the pinch.

[Belch].

Got any... Mints?

How about a hexpresso?

Make it double bubble, toil

And decaf.

Ha-ha-ha...

So until next time, crypt

Kiddies, bone appetite.

Hee-hee-hee!

Cut it out, crypty,

Or you're gonna be trying

The frog's legs.

Cryptttyyy!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]