01x08 - Method of Acting

[bunniefuu]

Okay.

Everybody, let's, uh...

Let's just run through this.

Um, brendon...

You're auditioning for the part
of willie?

Uh, yeah.

Does everybody have their parts?

I don't think I'll be needing
this script, thanks.

Great... That's great!

Um, let's take it from
the "big confrontation" scene

On page two.

17 Years I been working
at the same place,

Busting my hump.

What, for this?

Okay... I'm your son, uh...

Do you know what that means?

What about, uh...

Oh, right.

I got to live with you
being my old man.

You got to let go, man.

Get off my back.

Who do you think you are,
you little punk?!

You think you know everything!

You don't know nothing!

You don't know nothing!

Hey.

What are you telling me, huh?

That I ain't a man?!

Are you mad at me?

I'm sorry, brendon?

Brendon, you might not
be ready for this.

Um... I offer an acting class.

Would you be interested in,
uh...

In taking my acting class?

I've never been so insulted
in my entire...

Fine.

When did you say it was?

Hey, my name is paula small.

I'll be honest—...

Um, I haven't taught for a while
so bear with me.

So, okay, you're all interested
in creative writing?

I can assume this, yes?
That's great.

How many of you have
writing experience?

Hands?

All right... Oh, you have...

I just wanted to let everyone
know that I am a published poet.

Great—— wh—wh—where were you
published?

Xeroxed, I have been xeroxed.

Xeroxed, okay...

Well, that's still, you know...

Maybe, uh... We'll make you
the class copier.

Okay, I guess now's a good time
to talk about names.

Um...

Oh, hi there.

Are you here for creative
writing?

Uh... Mm—hmm.

Did you have trouble
finding the place?

No.

Like to introduce yourself?

Nope.

Like to tell the class about
your writing experiences?

Nope.

Well, let that be a lesson
to all of you.

If you show up late, I'll ask
you impersonal questions

That you may or may not answer.

So there.

Mom, how is...
How is my credit these days?

What do you need money for,
brendon?

Mom, um...

Spit it out——
"I want..."

I just, you know...
I just wanted to check...

"I need from you..."

No, not like that.

I would never... Acting class!

Acting class?

Yes, at the community theater.

Uh—huh.

I need to learn something soon.

I don't know, brendon.

I guess we'll have some
extra money from teaching

But let me think about it, okay?

I need technique, mom.

I need to learn the invisible
box mime thing or the rope.

Ow, what are you doing?

I'm sorry.

My eye.

I'm finished.

I'm just surprised, brendon,
that's all.

I mean, you were always
against acting classes.

Maybe it's nothing
but if I learn, like, one thing,

Then it'll be worth it.

Oh, yuck!

My dad makes
the worst sandwiches.

What is that?

Tarragon chicken with sprouts
and dijon mustard on focaccia.

Wow, you must be rich.

Does anyone want to switch?

I don't have anything.

What do you have, jason?

An olive.

Oh.

Brendon,

Um... Don't you want to be,
um... A director, not an actor?

Well, I mean...

Oh, but, brendon I heard that
all directors want to act

And that all actors
want to direct.

Right.

It's like that saying
"the grass is always greener
on the other side."

Right.

I'm not much for training.

Scorsese does a little acting.

You call that acting?

I'm, um... More method oriented.

Take the olive
out of your nose, jason.

Brendon, there's some things
that you can't learn in...

In a classroom.

You have to go live it.

Yeah, well, I mean...

You could learn more from life.

Good point—...

Melissa has a good point over
there.

Like, for instance, um...
Brendon...

Oh, yeah.

When we made the movie about
the k*ller lizard

I, um... Became the lizard.

Yeah, I could see that.

I, um... Sleep under my bed,
not on it.

Really?

Yes, because I'm scared
of my bed.

Aren't you scared of getting
smashed by your bed?

And it smells like pee.

Oh.

Oh.

All right, everybody, gather up.

Everybody, gather in.

Gather in?

What's a better word
for "gather in," brendon?

Everybody, get together?

No, that's not great.

What about everybody, um...

Everybody, gather in...

What about "everybody,
come here?"

Everybody, come here.

That's good.

And gather around.

Yeah, that's better.

You need both. Right.

All right, team, bring it in.

Bring it in. All right,
team, listen up.

Tomorrow's a very special day
for, uh... For the team

And I'm going to need volunteers
to do a special, uh... Thing.

It's a special event, all right?

Coach, what exactly
are we volunteering for?

I'll get to that, melissa.

Is it on the soccer field?

What are you, a reporter?

I'm just naturally curious.

Coach, what...

Everybody stop talking.

Just, what are we
volunteering for?

Brendon! What did I just say?

I really don't know.

Yeah, you don't know.

This isn't our house.

You can't mouth off
to everybody.

Hey.

All right, now, tomorrow...

Are you volunteering?

I don't know, are you?

No.

Oh—— why not?

Listen up.

I don't know.

You guys want to get in trouble?

No.

No.

You don't want
to get in trouble?

Yes.

No.

No, brendon, no.

If we don't want to get in
trouble the answer is yes.

Double negative.

Anyway, who...
Who's going to volunteer?

That means, when I say, "who
here is going to volunteer?"

Everybody raises their hand——
understood?

Who's going to volunteer?

Coach mcguirk?

Mcguirk:
yeah.

You still haven't told us
what we're volunteering for.

Okay, listen,
I have 14,000 entry forms

That need to be filled out
by next week

And entered into a sweepstakes.

What are we trying to win?

This.

A toy boat?

Not a toy boat, brendon.

It's a hovercraft.

Ooh... Cool!

Yeah, that's right.

Now, who wants a piece
of this thing, huh?

Who's going to help me fill out
14,000 entry forms, okay?

Coach, I feel like I need
to ask my dad if I can do this.

No, here's what you don't do,
melissa—— ask your dad.

Because you know
what your dad will say?

What?

Why are you filling out forms
instead of playing soccer?

And then what would I say?

Then you say bec...

Well, that's why
you don't say it.

That question doesn't come up,
all right?

We have to do this for the team,
melissa, not for your dad.

Well, who here can do this
without asking their parents

Or ever telling them about it?

Brendon...

Yeah.

I need your help on this.

You're a lot better off
filling out forms

Than you are playing soccer.

Yeah, coach, do you think
you might be abusing your power

Just, you know, a little bit?

I don't think of it as power.

You know, it's more
of a size issue.

I'm bigger than them.

I do what I want.

Take a look at this baby,
brendon, huh?

It's... It's...

Look at that sweetheart.

It's a nice...

Would you like a ride in that?

Yes.

Yeah, it's a beautiful piece
of machinery, brendon.

Hey, I'd love to help
but I really can't commit

To anything right now.

Well, what do you
have to do, brendon?

Um... Acting class.

I'm studying acting now
because someday I'm going

To be a professional actor—...

What?

Yeah, good luck.

"Coach mcguirk, help! Help me,
I'm drowning."

Oh, hey, brendon, how are you?

Help, I can't swim.

Oh, really?

I can't hear you because
my hovercraft is too loud.

See you later.

Um...

I like when you do both parts.

Go run laps.

And... Action.

What... You know, I think
you're wrong actually, still.

I mean, I know this
is just an exercise

But... I think he'd cross
in front of the coffee table,

You know and I don't see him
entering the scene, no.

I think he would have been there
already in, you know,

The whole play,
in every scene...

And also, I'm sorry but...

But can you throw
a gel up on that light?

You know, my eyes are...

Very sensitive so...

Sensitive eyes.

Action.

No, that's your line——
action.

If you want to start
the scene now, you can go ahead.

Thank you.

Okay, great.

Uh... Does anyone else want
to read their assignment?

How about you, mary?

No, meredith.

Steven.

Uh... Steven.

Uh... Would you like
to read what you have?

Okay...

"Officials were baffled today
when rodney princeton,

"A local historian brought
to the public's attention

That a document signed in 1880
was proven false..."

Okay, I'm going
to stop you there.

Are you reading
from the newspaper?

Yes.

Okay, well, that's, uh...

I got something to read.

Oh, great. Okay, you are...
Daniel, am I right?

No.

Just go ahead.

"She is my woman.
"She belongs in my apartment

"Feed her the food I find
"from my glove compartment.

"Hugging turns to kissing,
"kissing turns to love

"Love turns to me going
"to the drugstore

"To make sure that
"I won't have a son.

"I try on her dress,
she tries on mine..."

Okay, I'm sorry.

Um, you... You can just
turn your assignment into me.

I'm not finished.

"Hugging turns to kissing,
"kissing turns to throbbing

Pushing, more throbbing..."

So, have you learned anything?

Uh, yes and no, mostly no.

Brendon, should I take
the acting class?

Well, jason, I mean, there are
a lot of reasons that...

Forget it.

Sounds boring.

Brendon, um...
What are we doing here today?

Well, jason, how would you
like to direct?

Really?

Oh, brendon, I don't think
I'm ready yet.

You should try and expand
your horizons, jason.

Well, some people know
their limitations, melissa.

That's a good point.

Well, would you mind taking over
just for fun for me today?

Okay.

Because I wanted to work on some
of these acting exercises.

Well, brendon, what about me?

What am I going to do?

Well, melissa, he already
told me I'm directing.

I know, but I want to know
what I'm doing.

I need you in the exercise.

Okay.

I'm going to try to convey
an emotion to you

Through movement
and unknown words.

It's a classic exercise.

Okay.

I, um... Um... Brendon...

I don't think that's a good
idea.

It's just... It's just
an acting exercise.

Well, what I like to do
in my films...

This is your first one.

Melissa, shh—— please.

You're so easily replaceable.

Okay, brendon...

Yeah.

What I like...

You know what
I was thinking, brendon?

Melissa...

That maybe I'm going to go home
and then see if you can

Get someone
on such short notice.

Maybe that's a good ide...

Hey, whoa! Guys, hey!

Well, I don't know
why you made him director.

You know how he gets.

Give him a little bit of power
and he goes crazy.

Melissa, you're fired.

Um... Take five...

All right.

Years.

Can I talk to you privately,
brendon?

Nope, I'm the director, melissa,
so I'm—...

I'm the talent.

Oh, that's clever.

That's so clever.

Guys, please.

Melissa, I think, might be
too heavy for this part.

Excuse me?

I guess maybe we'll have
to replace her

With a thinner actress.

Melissa, don't listen to him,
all right?

I'm not going to sink
to your level, jason.

Well, brendon, maybe, um, if...

All right, cool.

Jason, I love the directing
ideas and melissa...

Yes.

You look fabulous.

Thank you.

I still don't think
we've clarified...

I know, I know, that's great.

I love that you're thinking.

So, uh... Let's get
to the movie.

So, brendon, you're going to be
speaking an unknown language?

Exactly—— just react to it,
yeah.

Okay, brendon?

Yeah, yeah.

What button do I press?

Remind me never to give
the camera to jason again.

It's the red button right there.

Okay, ready?

Okay.

And action.

Hey...

Eh?

Hey!

Hmm? Huh?

Um, brendon...

I'm having a hard time
understanding

What you're saying.

What... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Can we stop?

What is it now?!

I'm having a concentration
problem because this guy

Over here keeps on
mouthing my lines.

He's mouthing the lines
because he's speaking them.

They're his lines.

You don't have any lines
in this scene.

Well, I guess I'd like
that guy's part, you know.

Ev... Everybody...
Everybody take five!

Brendon!

Brendon!

Yeah?

Come here, please.

I... Okay.

Hey, guys, be right back!

I'm kicking you out of class.

Right, okay.

I can't teach the class
with you here

Interrupting every five seconds.

Hmm.

I have an entire class...

Yeah, I think I understand...

Please don't interrupt me.

Oh!

Everybody's complaining to me.

So, I'm sorry,

No more acting class.

No, no, I can't be...

Brendon...

No.

I can't be kicked out of acting
c... Cl... Uh, uh... Okay...

Will there be a refund?

No.

My mom is going to k*ll me.

I... Wait, no, wait.

Just think about this.

What if...

No.
What if...

Hey, don't make me
call your mother.

Whoa.

I'll call her.

I'll leave quietly right now
if you don't call her.

I'm... I'm not good
at reprimanding people

But I'm the teacher, so I feel
like I have to say something

About the incident in class.

Um... Uh...
Are you listening to me?

Hmm.

And we're both interested
in writing.

So for the sake of the people
in the class

Let's try to get along, right?

How's teaching?

Nothing.

What?

Nobody.

I... I don't like him.

What?

Teaching's great.

Great.

Great.

Good.

How's acting class?

Fantastic!

Um... So good
I might not even go tonight.

I'm ahead of them.

I... You know, they're jealous.

They hate me maybe.

No, I'm kidding.

It's really good.

Can you pass the please peas?

I didn't make any please.

Oh, no, I meant peas.

Oh, that's what I meant.

I forgot to kiss them.

What?

Make out... Make them.

We're kicked out of peas?

What?

Nothing—— how are you?

We're... Very close friends.

Varicose?

Oh, no, I mean you and me.

Oh.

Right... Fine.

Okay.

Well, I'm a child actor.

I'm eight, but I can play
seven—and—a—half to nine.

And I've been studying
stanislavsky.

Mm—hmm.

And, uh, so, yeah, I need
to make some money now

Because I have
to pay my mom back because...

Big long story...

Great—— so... That's great.

We cast for commercials and some
features, mostly commercials.

You have head shots?

Um... I've had flu shots—— is...

No, I need pictures
of your face, brandon.

Brendon.

Right.

Right—...

I have my class pictures here.

Right, that's great.

You can tell
I'm experiencing hair problems.

I woke up a little late for
school that day and, you know...

My fault—— I forgot
it was picture day, so...

Okay, well, do you have
any film experience?

I do happen to have
a tape right here.

Uh—huh, go ahead and put it in.

Mmm, yeah, I'm a pretty lady.

Dang!

A very pretty lady...

Sorry.

A lady, lady, lady...

I think I grabbed
the wrong tape.

Yeah.

Brendon, what do you want?

I need to talk to you.

Well, office hours closed,
brendon, so see me tomorrow.

Wow. Look at that, will you?

Huh!

Oh... Yeah.

Well, that's... That's kind of
why I'm here, coach.

Know, I'd like to work for you
you know, make some extra money.

Brendon...

Yeah?

No—— this is not a money gig.

This is a volunteer gig.

They work for free
or they don't work.

Then maybe you
and I can work something out.

You know, i...

Listen, brendon,
why pay the piper

When there's free piping
down the street?

Wait a minute,
I screwed that up.

Okay, coach, I wonder
if I could possibly

Borrow a small fraction of cash.

Brendon, I don't loan money
to eight—year—olds... Anymore.

And if you see billy,
tell him I'm looking for him.

Yeah.

"Teach me good,
teach me all night.

"Teach me to love,
teach me to write.

"Baby let me teach you
about throbbing and kicking

And classroom necking
and creative writing."

Okay, that's great.

What?

A—plus for you.

But i...

Please, I can already
tell it's great.

Who else?

Uh, stuart?

Steven.

Um... Anything happen
in the news?

"Two cargo trains
heading opposite directions

"Collided earlier today.
Passengers suffered

Minor injuries..."

Great—...

That's enough.

Oh.

Class dismissed.
No homework.

I mean, I don't want
to sound pushy

But I think it might be best
to cool it.

I mean, I have kids,
I have responsibilities.

I... I can't get
romantically involved.

I don't even know your name
which is my fault.

But, uh... It's unprofessional
to keep it up in class.

And I've...

What is your name?

Wait—— don't answer that.

It's best that
I don't know that.

What are you talking about?

What do you mean,
what am I talking about?

We made out.

We had a make—out session,
an unscheduled make—out session.

Oh, that.

I always make out.

I've made out with nearly
everybody in class.

Really?

Look, I make out,
that's what I do.

It's my inspiration.

It's why I write.

Okay, well.

I wish there were not an awkward
way to end this conversation.

Hey, look, I'm a mariachi guy.

That's very good.

They're... They're basic
improv techniques.

Look, it's a hat!

Sorry, that was a crappy one.

So, how do you like
your teacher?

What's his name?

Mister... Something.

Mr. Something—along—those—lines,
you know.

Do you like the curriculum?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I love the curriculum.

You know, it's the...

What's not to like?

What isn't not to like?

Not everything
isn't not to like?

Isn't everything not to like?

You got me there.

And I don't mean to sound
negative or double negative.

Mom, please, you don't not
sound negative

Nor non not double negative,
okay?

Hey, what do you say I pick you
up after class tonight

And we go out to eat?

Hmm... Uh... Huh... No, I can't.

Uh—oh...

Why not?

I'm splitting, you get it?

I can't stick around in this
nothin' town no more.

This place, these people——
no wonder you got problems.

It's because of this town, man.

Don't you see?

Don't you get it?

Stop it, willie!

Stop it!

What are you doing?

Huh?

You're my brother.

We got a family.

You got to stay.

You got responsibilities!

The factory.

What about shirley?

You, get off my case.

You better back off
right now, man!

Boys!
Time for dinner!

Well, big brother looks like you
got to make up your mind.

You leaving or you staying?

Willie?

Jimmy?

Dinner.

Sorry, tell the folks
I'll miss 'em.

And I guess I'll miss you, too,
jimmy.

I guess I'll miss you, too.

Adios.

Brendon, color me impressed.
That was very... Impressive.

But can you show me
this kind of focus in class?

Yes, I can.

I mean, I'm sorry.

I was stupid and I was a punk

And I deserved everything
I got and I'm sorry.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Now you're... You're overacting.

You're right—— thank you.

I'm a pretty lady, pretty lady.

Brendon, what is that?

That's, uh... It's me—...

I'm a pretty lady.
I'm a very pretty lady.

When did I tape that?

Look, friend, don't make me go
back to my house for 25 cents.

Just give me the six—pack, all
right?

Give me five.

I'll take a five—pack.

What the hell is that sound?

Huh?

Oh, no, no.

Hey... Hey!

That's my hovercraft!

I was supposed to win that!

Oh, man.

You can't go.

Where will you go?

I mean, we need you here.

Besides, you're
a very pretty lady.

Uh, yes, I suppose I am.