03x12 - Stowaway

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪♪

Maybe it is time for us to quit
art and get real jobs, no?

But we are the finest
artists in europe.

Then why can't
we afford le rent?

Because, my friend,
we haven't sold anything yet.

And when will
we sell something?

First we must
create it, no?

Oui. After inspiration comes,
of course.

Allo, you are evicted.

Oh, no! Where will we go?

You can go to hell
as far as I care.

Now away with you.

Ah, we don't need
no apartment.

No, we don't.
We are "le artiste."

Nobody can keep us down,
can they?

No.
No.

♪ Ohhh... ♪

♪ We are artists ♪
♪ yes, we are ♪

♪ Doodly-doo ♪
♪ yes, we are ♪

♪ Watch us paint
and sculpt and write ♪

♪ We're so creative,
we just might ♪

♪ Sit in cafés
and drink cappuccino ♪

♪ Philosophize
and swat mosquitoes ♪
♪ wait around and eat burritos ♪

♪ To be an artist
sure is neat-o ♪

♪ We are artists
and we're blessed by zeus ♪

Cut! Print!
Brendon,

For the millionth time,
you can't print video.

Whatever.
Just cut then, okay?

Another perfect
movie finished.

Actually, you did say cut
before the music finished.

So now cut is
in the movie forever.

So it's not
exactly perfect.

Right. It's far from it.
Just to note.

Are you okay?

What if we ran away?
We what?

Let's go...
Let's go to europe.

Like, honestly.
We should get out of here.

I don't know
if I can get out of work.

Hey, jason.
Just humor me for a sec.
Okay.

Okay? What if we ran away
and went to europe

And spent our days
runnin' around creating art,

Stealing pies
off windowsills,

Sneaking around into
high-society parties

And getting grants from rich,
old ladies, you know?

It does sound cool.

Aren't we too young
to go to europe?

No, they've got kids
everywhere.
Really?

Did you see the red balloon?
Mm-hmm.

No. I saw 1001 dalmatians.

Our movies aren't
appreciated here, are they?
It's true.

Who cares about
these movies?

Just us, and you know
who else? Europeans will.

Maybe we would be
appreciated there.

Europeans do have a more
avant-garde sensibility.

Exactly.

And who else does?
Us.

- That's true.
- We're on the cutting edge.

Exactly.

Um, do they have
cottage cheese in europe?

Oh, yeah.
Good, 'cause I have to eat that
every morning on toast.

We can totally do that.
Just so you know.

Oh, come on,
you piece of crap.

I put in the gas.
What else do you want?

What are you looking at, huh?

Stay with me, baby.
Come on. Stay with me.

Piece of...

Coffee cake?
Um...

They tell us
to give out coffee cake.

We get it every morning.
Could you step back
some more a little bit?

Yeah, no problem.
Yeah.

We have a guy who
brings in coffee cake.

Cool. I'll have
a piece of coffee cake.

Hey, gus, good coffee cake
this morning.
Just tell me how much.

Okay, $1,100.
$1,100?

I know. Yeah.
For what?

For what? Your rear axle's shot,
your differential's shot.

Look over there. The
carburetor's gotta be reset.

Look over there.
Power converters.
Those need to be replaced.

All right, all right.
You made your point.

Start working and I'll, uh...
I just need to make a few
calls to raise the money.

What?
Just start worki"
and I'll be back.

Coach, what are you
doing on the bus?

Car broke down.
Wow.

It's totally humiliating,
brendon.

Yup.

Brendon, why are you,
like, so sad?

Huh?
You're sittin' alone
all by yourself.

You're like a loner, right?
Sometimes it's nice...

Like a loser.
Like no one likes you.
I remember those kids.

Listen, I'm not that kid.

Believe me. I used to make fun
of those kids. The losers.

I know what you're talking
about, but I'm not that kid.
He's over there. Look.

See him?
Yeah, yeah.

You guys should sit together.

Well, you know, uh,
I did specifically
sit by myself

'Cause I have made
a pretty big decision.

Oh, yeah?
What is it?

I'm runnin' away.
What do you mean?

I mean I'm moving to europe.
I'm running away.
You're running away from home?

Yeah.
Right now.

No, not right now,
but soon.

I got a few things to iron out.
I haven't, you know...

I think it's a good idea.
Really?

They gotta get a new bus.
This is awful.

Everybody's so down
in this bus.

Coach, everyone is depressed
'cause they're goin' to school.

You should see this place
on the ride home.

♪ The horn on the bus
goes beep, beep, beep ♪

♪ Beep, beep, beep ♪

♪ Beep, beep, beep ♪

♪ The horn on the bus ♪
come on, brendon!

♪ Beep, beep, beep ♪

♪ That's the sound
of the horn ♪

♪ The gears on the bus
go rrr-rrr-rrr ♪

♪ Rrr-rrr-rrr
rrr-rrr-rrr ♪

♪ The gears on the bus
go rrr-rrr-rrr ♪

♪ That's the gears
on the bus ♪

♪ The... ♪

Oh, we're here.

See you at practice.

What is this assembly
for anyway?
Who knows?

Maybe they're gonna send us home
so they can clean the asbestos
out of the classrooms.

There's asbestos
in the classrooms?

Oh, yeah.
What's asbestos?

It's like birdseed.

Okay, everyone.
Settle down.

Okay, today is student
corporate training day.

We've brought in a really
great speaker to talk
to all the kids today,

A gentleman by the name
of tom wilsonberg.

Who is tom wilsonberg?

He's the author
of the book,

Starting early, the new world
of corporate kids.

This is some pretty
fascinating stuff.

All right. Let's get ready
for mr. Tom wilson.

Give him a big round
of applause.

Hello, everyone.
Hi. Thanks.

I'm really happy
to be here.

The way I like to start out my
seminars is with a big cheer.

I'm gonna say "seize the day."
And you say "every day."

And let's do it big,
'cause, as you can see,

I have a few cameras set up
because we are webcasting this

To over 40 schools.

Let's show 'em some spirit.
Ready?

Yeah.

- Seize the day!
- Every day!

- Seize the day!
- Every day!

- You can do it!
- Every day!

- You're the winner.
- Every day!

When I say "seize the,"
you say "day."

- Seize the...
- Day!

- Seize the...
- Day!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

All right! That was great.

Now, let's get down
to business.

Why am I here?

To tell you a secret.
A big secret.

My whole philosophy,
what is it?

You can make big money as long
as you let yourself make it.

Oh! What? Wow! Oh? Yeah!

You can make big money
as long as you let yourself
make it.

That sounds too simple.
No, it's not.

Now, what do you
think of that?

Yea!

What do we think of that
if I tell you you can
make that money today?

Wait, wait,
what's that I hear?

Excitement? Anticipation?
Yeah!

Now, I'm gonna ask you
to break into groups,

And I want you
to work together

And I want you to present me
with an idea to make money.

I want you to present me
with a loose business model
for your idea.

I'm not asking
for miracles here.

Just a loose business model.

All right, let's do it!
Seize the day!

Every day!
Ha-ha! All right!

I'm switching schools.
See, guys. This is why
we have to run away.

This is the exact opposite
of everything we believe in.

Right.
Yeah.

Okay. I have
no idea what to do.

Um, is this
a loose business model?

Okay, small business reps,

I'm ready to see
your loose business model.

Uh, what's your first...

Uh, you first, young man.
Come up here.

Um, my name is jason.

And, um, me and brendon
and melissa

Are opening
an asbestos company.

Hmm, interesting.

What exactly
will you be doing?

Well, it's an asbestos company
run by kids. That's the hook.

All kids. All asbestos.
All the time.

We have fun 'cause we make it
fun to work there.

We make it fun
to make asbe...

We put the fun
back in asbestos.

Okay. Did you mention yet
who you're selling it too?

Yes, kids.

Good, good, but
what's the product?

Asbestos.

Okay, but who's selling it?
Okay, I said, didn't i?

I don't think so.
Me and brendon and melissa
are the kids who run it.

Look, I don't mean
to get frustrated...

Brendon?
Yeah?

Can you come here?
Jason, just get
off the stage.

Okay. Sorry,
I just panicked.

No, no. We're gonna do this.
Everybody gets a fair shot.

Absolutely.
Let's put it to a vote.

Let's see what everyone thinks.
What do we think of that, huh?

Oh, come on.
It's a good idea.
Back to the drawing board, huh?

So you're like
a money man, huh?
Yeah. Take it easy.

Yeah. Well, maybe you
could give me some advice.

I need to make
1,100 bucks quick.

Why?
Well, my car
is in the shop.

When do you
need the money by?
A couple days.

I'm gonna tell you something.

This goes against what I was
saying up there in the seminar,

But you can make
a lot of money fast gambling.

Don't tell anybody
I said that.

I won't. So you're
a financial expert.

And your advice
is go gamble.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
I go all the time.

You ever wanna come with?
Let me know.

I could definitely show you
a couple of tricks.

The ace of spades. Cool card.

I was kind of more looking
for financial advice.

You know, stock market
or something.

You know what I call that?
I call that "slow-go" money.

That takes a while to earn.
I'm talkin' quick bucks.

I'm talkin' magic money.
I'm talkin' sick piles of money.

I'm talkin' lay on your bed
in your vegas room,

Throw the money in the air
and dance as it showers down
on you money.

I'm talkin'
frosted glass limo money.

I'm talkin' big cowboy hat
silver turquoise buckle money.

I'm talkin' gambling.

I am in love with you.

It's not h*m* love.
That's a fascination with
the good news I'm giving you.

I'm telling you that
there's a way to make money.

All you gotta do is sit down
in a chair and pull a lever
or flip over a card.

I'm talkin' about gambling.
Money.

Okay. All right.

Ahh.

You know what?
I'll go gambling with you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hand off neck.

No-no-no-no. Okay.
All right.
Take it easy.

Look, hey, I'm willing
to wager that after
I'm finished with you,

You'll be $1,100 richer.

How much you wanna bet?
What are the odds?

You call 'em.
Call 'em out.

I'm just saying
it's a big step, brendon.

I know.
It is a big step.

Listen, guys, kids run away.
That's what they do.

It's a rite of passage.
They run away.

And move to europe
to become artists?

Yes, melissa.
Some do. Some do.

Right, like in faulkner
or hemingway.

- Right. Yup.
- Right?

Yes.
Why would we run away?

I don't understand
why we would give up
living in nice houses.

We have good home lives.

We just have
no reason to run away.

All right,
you have a point.

We have no reason
to run away.

That's a tough one.
How about this?

Just because our parents
are nice to us now

Doesn't mean that
they won't slip up
and turn into terrible parents

In the future.

So we have to watch them,
and you know what?

If they do slip up,
we out of here. Click.

Did you say
"we out of here"?

Did you say "click"?

Brendon, you're still on.
Brendon?

Is he still there?
Maybe he didn't
say "click."

Then we really
heard the click.

Maybe the phone company
added the word "click."

That's possible 'cause that was
something I always thought of.

- They should have, like, when you hang up the phone...
- Click.

Melissa?
Melissa?

Mom? Mom? Mom?
Yeah?

How come we
never have ice cream?
I want some ice cream.

Did you look
in the freezer, honey?

No.
I bought like two gallons
of rocky road.

Isn't that your favorite?
Yes.

Mom, when was the last time
we went to the movies?
Feels like a million years.

I was thinking the same thing.
You wanna go this weekend?

Yes.

Mom, I want to take karate.

I need to take it.

Not at the y.
Not at the y, mom.
Uh-huh.

Well, you could definitely
use the exercise.

I'm willing to look
into it, brendon.

Hyah!

You know, I'm thinking about
painting the living room.

What color?

I don't know.
Maybe purple.

Sorry, mrs. Small.
I'm not very fond of purple.

♪♪

Where are you going?

I'm going to live
on the road like jim kerouac.

All right, have fun.
I'll see you at dinner.

See you later.

All right, guys.
Let's do this.

Brendon,
it's been four hours.

This is boring.

Yeah, brendon,
this is definitely
a boring running away.

What's the plan?
I've got the plan.

I've got a plan.
I've got a plan.

You want to fill us in?

Well, why? So you can
question it all the time?

Well, what should we do?

Maybe start out by not
nay-saying and blaming me
for everything.

Sometimes both of you
just point fingers

And...
I don't know.

Who am I kidding?
Maybe we should
just go home.

Yup. Let's go home.
No, brendon, we don't
have to do that.

Let's get out of here.
Brendon, just relax.

We just... You know, we never
ran away before, right, jason?

Jason?
Jason, are you okay?

If I don't eat something soon,
I might die.

Brendon, how do you plan
on paying for this?
We have no money.

We're willing to exchange
these for the meal.

Can we make this work?

Your move,
mr. Secret number 50.

You play well,
cold hands.

Oh, she's early.
Melissa, why couldn't you
just come in on cue?

Keep going.
Your turn.

Brendon, I can't work
with melissa.

I've spent time preparing.
Melissa can't even
work the rope.

That's not true.
I spent time preparing...

Stop, stop, stop!
I quit!

I will never, never make
another film in my life.

So are we in business here?

Whoopsie.

Hey.

Let's gamble, huh?

Listen, uh, I think I might
have an addictive personality.

If I start gambling
I might not be able to stop.

You know what all
successful gamblers have?

What's that?
Addictive personalities.

Huh. All right.

I never thought
about it that way.

You seem tense.
Let me get you a drink.

Really? Wouldn't it
be smarter to stay sober
if I'm gonna gamble?

Seize the day!
Every day.

Hey, let's gamble, huh?

There are a lot of
boats here, brendon.
Which one goes to europe?

Um, uh, that one.

Okay, I have a plan.
All right?

Yeah.
See those boxes
that guy is loading?

Yeah.
We sneak into the boxes and
then let him carry us aboard.

Bing, bang, boom.
We go to europe.

Jason, those boxes
are too small.

We'll never fit in them.
Oh, really?

Mm-hmm.
Those boxes are
pretty small, jason.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Not following.
Okay, listen.

Here's a better idea.
We knock out the guy.

Right.
And then we throw
him in the water.

Right.
He drowns. We go to jail.

Keep talking.
Never mind.
That was a crappy plan.

Guys, I have an idea.

Excuse me, sir.
Can we go on the boat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead.

Yes! High five!

Okay, you got ten showin'.

And I got a queen
underneath. Hit me.

Player busts.

Okay, uh,
you can't do that.

You just lost money. You had 20.
Stay when you have 20.

Right, right, right.
Well, I been counting cards

So there should be
a few aces in there, right?

Don't count cards.
You don't know how.
Let's try this again.

Player shows three.

What do you
have underneath?
Ten.

Take a hit.
Hit me.

You've got four showing.

- Hit me.
- You've got five showing.

Oh, you gotta
be kidding me.

- Hit me again.
- You've got six.

Well, hit me.
Stay!

Player busts.

Should have said
stay before.

Well, I'm finished.
I got nothin' left.

This is crap. You're
some help, tom. Thanks.

Hey, I gotta take a pee.
Bet this and stay at 17.

Don't take a hit if
it's higher than 17. Got it?

All right, all right.

Okay, things on
a freighter can be rough.

Especially for stowaways.

Food runs dry.
Sleep comes infrequently.

Rodents. Vampires.

Brendon.
Yeah.

Scurvy.

Yes. It's maybe the hardest
thing we've ever done,

But it'll be worth it
'cause soon we'll all
be artists in europe.

Hey. Come on.
This door's unlocked.

This is a weird freighter.

You're right.

Should we still
stowaway somewhere?

I'm not sure.

- Champagne?
- Yes.

You have a ten showing.
Hit or stay?

What do you guys think?
Ten showing, ten underneath.

- Hit or stay?
- Stay!

Hit me!

21! 21!

What did I tell you idiots?

Nay-sayers! All of you!
Coach?

Brendon, what
are you doin' here?

I ran away, remember?
I'm goin' to europe.

On a casino boat?

I don't know.

Wait, this boat
goes to europe?

I guess so.

I gotta be back
at work tomorrow.

Look, I can't talk right now,
brendon. I'm really hot.

Take a few chips.
Cash 'em in. Play some slots.

See if you can
win me some money.

When you do,
bring it back to me.
Okay.

If you see a waitress,
send her over here.
I need a drink.

Jason, you're wasting
all the quarters.

Yeah, mcguirk gave me
the money.

How about letting someone
else try for a second?
Yeah!

Back off, b*tches.

I'm trying to focus
on the slots.

Jason, you're on
a bad streak.

Can't hear you. Focusing.

It's gonna fix itself.

- It is.
- Let me try.

Give me some space!
It's our turn!

Brendon, don't touch
my machine, okay?

Don't touch it and ruin it
with your bad vibes.

How about this one
over here?
Don't touch that one either.

That's also... No.
How about this one?

No, that's also mine.
How many do you have going?

Five or six.
You really have
a gambling problem.

No, I don't.
And you're unlucky.

Me and my machines
are a family.
That is mama,

That is papa,
that is uncle pedro,

That is sister louisa,
and that is the
family gardener, tex.

How much of that champagne
did he have?
I don't know.

Come on, baby.
Come on.

Coming back. Coming back.

Coming back. Coming back.
Coming back.

Dealer busted.
Oh, yeah!

Mcguirk! Oh, my god!
How the hell did you
win all this?

Oh, man,
the second you left,
I hit a hot streak.

Wow, that's some streak.
Yeah, tell me about it.

Now move. I gotta
get back to the game here.

Let's quit while we're ahead.
We'll go on the bed and throw
it in the air...

Screw that, man. I'm winning,
all right? You don't stop
when you're winning.

Go away.
Mcguirk, I've been
gambling for a while.

We could lose everything.
What is "we"?
Who is "we"?

This is me.
This is my money.
I'm winning.

Oh. Oh-doe-doe.
My money.

What do you mean,
your money? I won it.
Okay.

Hey, let's do this.
Come outside
and bring the chips.

No, no, I'm winning.
I'm staying.

Seize the day.
What?

When I say "come,"
you say "outside." Come.
I can't.

Come.

Come.
Fight it.

Come.
Fight it.

Give. Give me.
No, I'm not doing it.

They're mine. I won it.
It's my money.

How much did you win?

Well, I don't know.
About $3,000.
Maybe more.

Yeah, you won it
with my money.

So? I won it.

But it's my... My money.
I won. No, i... I won it.

My... My... My money!
I... I did the work!

Okay, stop.
How much did you give me?
A hundred, right?

You know what? You know what?
Here's a hundred.
Now we're even!

The rest I won!

Give me the money!
Give me the money!

You're crazy!
You're a madman!
I'm not crazy!

All right!
Listen to yourself!

What's going on with you?
Listen to your voice!

Oh, I feel like crap.
Me too. I think I'm seasick.

You guys want to catch
a show, or you just
wanna meet me after?

Oh, I feel so bad, I might...
I might totally throw up.
Me too.

See you guys later.

Somebody's fighting outside
on the deck.
Oh, coach.

You don't tell me
to seize the day!
You seize the day!

You seize the day!
You seize it!

Everybody seizes the day
when I tell them to.
I'm not seizing it!

I already seized it.
Now you seize it.
Give me the money!

No, get your... Get your...
Give it up!

Give me it!
I'm gonna give you a little bit
of the whirlwind.

- You're not get...
- Here, whirlwind!

What are you doing?
That's the whirlwind, buddy.

What is that?

No, no, no. No!

Seize the...
Day!

You two are lucky
to be alive.
Yeah, that's true.

This coffee is good.

I gotta fill out a report here,
so walk me through this.

They said you guys
were fighting.

Oh, no, we weren't fighting.
Not fighting.
Oh, no, we weren't fighting.

You guys don't wanna
press charges on each other?

Right.
However,

We do want to press charges
against diamond lou's
casino cruise

For having unsturdy railings
and slippery floors.

All right, all right,
I'll get someone to fill
out the paperwork.

Aha, he's going to write up
those charges right now.

We are going to be rich...
R-i-c-h-t.

Trust me.
I'm a financial expert.

You are actually
a lunatic.

A lunatic like a fox.

Sorry running away didn't
really work out at all.

That's okay, brendon.
I went along with it
'cause you were so excited.

Yeah, you almost lived
in europe because brendon
was excited, melissa.

I didn't say
it was smart.

Brendon, what happened
to that stack of chips
I gave you?

Ask jason.

Oh, gone. All gone.
It's true.

How much did you give us
anyway?
Uh, about a hundred.

Wow.
Least it was gambled instead
of being tossed into the water.

Shut up, melissa. Jason,
you owe me a hundred dollars,
and I want it.

How was running away?
Didn't... Didn't end up
feeling like it.

Don't go in the living room
until the paint dries.

Oh, my god.
This looks horrible. Mom,
this purple looks like crap!