01x22 - Mombasa-In-Law/The Laughing Hyenas: TV Dinner

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Oh, my!

These animals are
absolutely defenseless.

They're in danger. As a matter of
fact, they're endangered species.

But I'm here to help.

What do you mean,
we're endangered species?

We're not endangered species.
We're Timon and Pumbaa, ya mook!

Well, I've never heard of you.

And if I've never heard
of you, you must be rare.

And if you're rare, you
must be endangered.

And if you're endangered,
then I'm here to help.

I'll keep you safe behind
the electrified fence

of this beautiful
animal sanctuary.

Safe! Yay!

What do you mean "yay?"
We're trapped in here.

And who, exactly, are you?

Wh-wh-who am I?

I am Mr. Happy.

And do you know why I'm
so happy? Huh, small boy?

Because I'm an
environmentally aware biologist.

That's fancy talk for
"ecology's happy helper."

Well, I've never heard of you.

And if I've never heard
of you, you must be rare.

And if you're rare, you
must be endangered,

so you'd better get to some sort
of biologist sanctuary... and fast.

Gracious me, you're right!

I'm practically e-e-extinct!

Uh, what a mook.

Come on, Pumbaa.
Let's get outta here.

Okay. g*n it!

Ouch.

Boy, Timon, you must have
the biggest brain in the world.

Ah-ah-ah-ah. The
universe. Contact!

Peddle, Pumbaa! Peddle as
fast as you can, my bacon buddy!

Uh, Timon, I don't think
we're gonna make it!

Just keep peddling!

Ouch.

Come in, Houston!
Houston, we have a problem!

We're gonna die!

Nonsense. The emergency
parachute will save us.

Any second now, that
parachute's gonna open.

Any second... now.

Whoosh. We'll be
saved any second.

Ouch.

Uh, Timon, I'm
beginning to think

that maybe my first
impression was correct.

I like being safe behind
a giant, electrified fence.

I think maybe we should stay.

You're delirious. I mean, how
can you possibly feel safe here?

We can't go anywhere we want
or do what we want or nothing!

I hate it with all my guts!

Oh and don't look now, Pumbaa,

but my guts are about
to hate it some more!

Why, you biscuit-eater!

I didn't find one
biologist sanctuary.

And do you know
why, buster brown?

'Cause, darn it,
there aren't any.

Well, duh-looey, you
big doofus. No duh!

I just wanted to get rid of you!
Er, I mean, uh, that's too bad, pal.

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!

Why are you guys so
mean to Mr. Happy?

I just want to be
ecology's happy helper.

And I wanna help you boys.

Stop, stop that quivering
lip there, Pumbaa.

There's no way we're staying,
no matter what he says.

Forget it. Uh-uh. End of story.

But wait! But wait! But wait!
I went and built tennis courts,

an ice-skating rink, a swimming
pool, a full-service health spa,

and a smörgåsbord
of gourmet insects,

freeze-dried and flown
in daily from Copenhagen.

Copenhagen?

Oh, Timon, he's right!

All that stuff is
right over there.

If we'd only turned our heads
earlier, we would've seen it.

- Timon?
- Hallelujah!

Boy, Pumbaa, you were
right about staying here.

I mean, this place has got
everything. Just look at this path.

It's well-manicured, it's
got relaxing, piped-in music.

It's even got yanni. And best of all,
you don't even have to hunt for bugs.

You just...

And presto! A tasty
morsel of insectitude

appears at your fingertips.

Did someone call
for buggage cart?

See?

Oh, Timon, I don't like freeze-dried
gourmet bugs from Copenhagen.

I want plain, old,
on-the-ground bugs from Jersey.

No problem, pal.
There's bound to be

some Jersey ground bugs
hidden around here somewhere.

Oh, no, no. Only
freeze-dried, cowboy.

I tried.

And this path isn't any
great shakes either, Timon.

Out in the real world, the
paths just go on and on

and on and on and
on and on and on...

- Kind of like you?
- And on...

But look. Blah!

Fence! We can't go any further.

We're trapped.
Trapped like... Animals.

I am not... An animal.

Pumbaa, we are animals.

And so what if we're trapped?

We'll never run out
of things to do. Look.

It's " the neverending book of
things to do at the animal sanctuary."

It's chock-full of
downright fun-ness.

I wanna leave right now!

And I wanna stay.

Well, I wanna
leave times infinity.

And I wanna stay
times infinity, plus one.

I wanna leave times
infinity, plus... two!

Pumbaa, there's no such number.

And we're staying until
I've done everything

in " the neverending book of
things to do" and that's final.

Well, now I've done everything.

Not only have I done everything,
I've done everything 500 times.

I'm sick of doing everything. I
wanna go back to doing nothing.

For crying out loud, let's
get outta here already!

Yay! And I've got a great plan
for getting us out of here too.

Really? You? A great plan?

Yeah, Timon. It's a really,
really great, great plan.

I've been working on it for


Well, what is it?

We tunnel out.

That's it? We tunnel out?


up with "we tunnel out?"

Why, that's the
most ridiculous...

Hey, I know. We
could tunnel out.

Uh-oh. What about
Mr. Happy? He'll try to stop us.

Wait. Mr. Happy
will try to stop us.

Ooh. Maybe we could
cleverly distract him.

Ah, that won't work. What we really
need is some clever way to distract him.

Great! And then we'll dig
our way out while he's busy.

And then we'll dig our
way out while he's busy.

Funkytown, here we come!

Yay! My buddy Timon is
the smartest meerkat ever!

Voi-oh-la!

Uh, I don't understand what
it's supposed to be, Timon.

Wow! A perfect likeness.

Oh, dear. Oh, my.
Oh, dear. Oh, my, my.

Oh, dear. Oh, my, my. Oh, deer. Oh,
elk. Oh, moose. Oh, bear. Oh, deer.

What's going on outside?

Oh, dear, my! Those
foolish animals!

They'll endanger their lives
if they leave the sanctuarius.

Come, happy dog. We'll
save them from danger.

Even if it kills them.

Stop, you foolish animals!

I'm here to help!

Yay! Mr. Happy ran right out that
great, big gaping hole in the fence,

as did all the other animals.

Great. Everything's
going exactly as planned.

Now we dig.

Aahh!

Boy, I thought we'd
never get out of there.

You said it, pal. What a relief.

Gee, I wonder whatever
happened to Mr. Happy.

That mook? Who cares?

Hello.

Wait! Wait! Don't
you remember me?

I'm Mr. Hap... hap-hap-hap-happy,
ecology's happy helper.

I'm here to help. I thought
we established that.

Come, happy dog.

Oh. I guess I forgot
to check my calendar.

Is it scare the hairs
off the meerkat day?

Oh, we were just
having some fun.

Yeah, well, do you mind pointing
those things in another direction?

You're gonna poke
somebody's eyes out over here.

Whatever you say, Timon.

Well, when's he ever
gonna act his age?

Ai-yi!

Hey, Pumbaa,
take a look at this.

What is it, Timon? Ooh.

Looks like some
weird kind of shrub.

That's no shrub, Pumbaa.

That's what your insides look
like without your outsides on them.

But what are these insides
doing without their outsides?

Haven't you heard? There's
a predator on the loose.

None of us are safe.

Maybe you aren't, but we are.

Yeah. We've got him on our side.

Yes, a lion.

A lion?

What's wrong with you two?
Have you got bugs for brains?

He must be the guy
who ate that guy.

Your friend... he
must be the predator.

- Simba?
- You've got to get away from him,

or I assure you, he will
eat you in your sleep.

He will, I tell you! He will!

Simba? Eat us in our sleep?

He's the one with
bugs for brains.

Grubs, grubs, grubs,
grubs, grubs, grubs.

Grubs, grubs, grubs, grubs...

Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat.

Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat.

Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat.

- Timon!
- Shhhh!

Pumbaa, I haven't slept a wink.

That little monkey
thing was right.

Simba is the meat-eating
predator on the loose.

But, Timon, simba
eats bugs, not meat.

Come on, Pumbaa. Look at him.

He didn't get that big eating
ladybugs and butterflies.

I bet he's been sneaking
some antelopes on the side.

But I'm big and I only eat bugs.

Uh, that's genetic. You
were born big-boned.

This is true. But I
still say he eats bugs,

just bugs and I mean only bugs!

Well, then, there's only
one way we can find out.

- Ask him?
- No.

Look through his personal
belongings without him knowing.

And that means we
gotta get him outta here.

Hey, guys.

Hi, simba. Hey, did you hear?

There's a free pancake breakfast
down by the watering hole.

A pancake breakfast?
In the jungle?

But you better hurry, 'cause, uh, well,
they're running out of maple syrup.

Oh, well, okay.

Oh, that's not very nice, Timon.

We can't just lie to simba
and invade his privacy.

He's our friend.
We should trust him.

Hey, I trust simba.

It's just the carnivorous urges innate
to his species that I don't trust.

Well, I trust him
and that's that.

Oh, yeah? Then what's this?

Uh, well, that's a bowl, Timon.

A commonplace multipurpose
hemispherical container.

And it's just my size!

Perfect for baking
a meerkat meatloaf.

And look at this!

An oven mitt, so he can safely
handle a piping-hot meerkat meatloaf.

- Uh, Timon...
- aahh!

And look at this, Pumbaa.

An oven timer so he doesn't
burn the meerkat meatloaf.

Now do you see the
ugly truth, Pumbaa?

No, but I see simba.

Hey! Hurry! Put
everything back! Put it back!

Timon, I didn't see any free pancake
breakfast down by the watering hole.

Oh, well, you know, simba,
once the maple syrup runs out,

those things are
pretty much over.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say
you were just trying to get rid of me

so you could, um...
look through my stuff?

Simba, please. We're your
friends and you should trust us.

I bet he's craving a big bowl
of meerkat meatloaf right now,

with a side of Pumbaa fries.

I bet he's wondering
why we're acting so weird.

Pumbaa, when are you gonna
realize simba's the predator?

Do I have to prove
it with some sort of

"how to tell if your lion friend is
craving meat and might eat you test?"

"The how to tell if your
lion friend is craving meat

and might eat you test kit!"

Test number one. Does your
lion friend have a nose for meat?"

Do you guys smell something?

I smell meat.

I mean, I don't smell meat.

Well, I do.

"Test number two

does your lion friend have
a preference for meat?"

And now we just
wait for a big pop

and see what simba prefers.

What do you see?

"Test number three, does your lion
friend think about meat all the time?"

Alright, simba. Tell
me what you see.

A t-bone steak.

A Turkey leg.

Uh, I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

It's clearly beef Wellington with
country gravy and a side of meat.

Oh, well, okay.

Uh, Timon, what is going on?

Come on. What
are you guys up to?

What?

Skinny, little, "no
meat on my bones" me?

I'm not up to anything.

Hey, big, plump,
succulent, juicy Pumbaa?

You're not up to
anything, are you?

- Uh, me? Uh, no.
- Uh, right.

Now, then, we just enter the test data
into the carn-o-matic crave-o-meter,

and it will tell us exactly
what simba craves.

Warning! Warning!

Predator! Predator!

Craves meat! Craves
meat! I'm outta here!

There! What other proof
do you need, Pumbaa?

Simba craves meat.

But, even if simba craves meat,
there's no way he'd ever eat us.

I wouldn't hang around
to find out if I were you.

You know that lion is
getting hungrier and hungrier

for some meerkat meatloaf.

That's what I was saying!

Or a little warthog ratatouille.

What do we do?

Don't worry. I will
take care of you.

I know a place
where we'll all be safe.

Well, come on, Pumbaa. Let's go.

Gee, I don't know, Timon.

Well, it's a good thing I do or
we'd end up being eaten alive.

Come on.

Looks like we made
a clean getaway.

Yes, a very clean getaway.

Uh, this is safe?

Oh, yes. Safe as a bug in a rug.

- Speaking of bugs, I'm starved.
- So am I.

Oh, yes. So am I.

So, what's for lunch?

You!

Run, Pumbaa!

I've been trying to get you
away from simba for months!

You big, juicy, fat warthog!

And you, lean,
tender, little meerkat.

This doesn't look good, Timon!

Well, this would
never have happened

if you hadn't rescued a carnivorous
meat-eating lion, my friend.

"Can we keep him, Timon?

He's so cute and
little and all alone."

You said he'd be on our side.

You said it! You said it!

I am on your side.

Well, that predator
learned his lesson.

I hope he's not the only one.

What? Oh, I didn't really
think you were gonna eat us.

Oh, come on, Timon.

You wouldn't be lyin'
to a lion now, would ya?

That's a good one, simba!

You like that, huh?

Carnivores. Oy!