02x08 - I Think I Canada/Zazu's Off Day Off

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Announcing the Serengeti
star talent contest.

Become a big, big, big star!

Talent contest?
This is it, Pumbaa.

Our big chance!

I can see it now...
Timon and Pumbaa,

big, big, big stars!

Gee, I don't know, Timon.

But, Pumbaa, don't you
wanna drive cool cars

and sign lots of autographs
and eat in fancy restaurants

and appear in
tabloid newspapers?

Well...

Of course you do! That's
what everybody wants.

Now all we need is... an act.

Umphh...

Maybe you should go pull
the rabbit out of that hat, Timon.

Alrighty.

Oh, thank you!

Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

It was nothing.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
no! Quite the contrary.

It was an expert performance.

As a matter of fact, how would
you like to be part of my act?

Me?

I have been searching
for a partner for years.

Who ever heard of a rabbit
pulling himself out of a hat?

Wrong. Wrong.

But with you pulling me out of the
hat, we can win the talent contest!

And become big, big, big stars?

Absolutely! We'll make
it all the way to the top!

You and me, Timon and rabbit,
we'll be the greatest magic act

the Serengeti has ever seen!

Ahem, ah... hem!

Timon and... rabbit?

Ah, yeah... um, you
forgot my swine-kick.

What's, uh, what's
Pumbaa get to do?

Hmm, well... I suppose
we could find something.

Ta-da!

Wow! That's amazing!

Why, that clumsy pig!

I'd rather have my fur ripped off
my body than have to work with him!

He is ruining our act!
We've got to get rid of him!

Get rid of Pumbaa?
But he and I are a team.

Ha! Why, the only way
to get rid of Pumbaa

would be to tell him I no longer
want to be his bestest, best friend.

Huh! I'm not about to do that.

Then perhaps I should
have a little talk with him.

Hello, Pumbaa.

Hey, Mr. Magic
rabbit man, look, I've

been working on a
card trick for our act.

Pick a card, any card,
c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

Now give it back.

Abracadabra...

Hakuna matata...
this was your card!

What do you think?

It's phenomenal!
Incredible! Amazing!

As a matter of fact, this
brilliant card trick of yours

could be the pinnacle of
our magic performance.

You think so?

Absolutely!

I just don't see why Timon doesn't
want you to be part of the act.

Oops. I wasn't
supposed to say that.

Say what?

That you're holding him back!

That you're dead
weight. Excess baggage!

His ball and chain!

You mean Timon doesn't
want me around anymore?

That's right! And to
top things off, he said

he no longer wants to be
your bestest, best friend.

So, Pumbaa, get lost.

Say, where's Pumbaa?

Oh, you will never
believe what he said.

I wouldn't myself, if I hadn't
heard it with my own ears.

Why? What did he say?

He said he wants to go solo.
That you're holding him back.

That you're dead
weight. His ball and chain.

Pumbaa said all that?

He certainly did.

Some bestest, best friend he is.

But you've still got me.

You and ♪ me me me me ♪

And together, we are going
to become big, big, big stars!

At last! The final finals.

After tonight, we'll finally
be big, big, big stars!

Isn't this great, Timon?

Timon?

Hakuna matata.

You're my bestest, best friend.

Fame and fortune mean nothing
without your bestest, best friend.

Oh, I can't believe Timon
would rather be a big, big star

than be my bestest, best friend.

Pumbaa, Pumbaa.

You know deep in
your warthog heart

that Timon will always be
your bestest, best friend.

Get a grip.

But he said...

Pumbaa, Timon
didn't say anything.

That's right. He didn't.
But I did and you fell for it.

Rabbit!

Who are you?

I'm Pumbaa. I mean,
uh, I'm not Pumbaa.

I'm here to fix the electricity.

The electricity?

Then what's with
the mop, wise guy?

Oh, uh, right.

Well, uh, some of
the light bulbs broke

and electricity is
leaking all over the place

and, uh, I need to clean it up.

And I'm not lying.

Okay. Come on in.

Snap out of it,
Timon! We're next.

This is it! Nothing
can stop us now.

Did you really think you
were going to catch me

with this antiquated
carrot-under-the-box joke?

Oh, come out of there,
you addle-brained pig.

What did you call me?

Pig. P-i-g, pig!

Pig, piggie, pig, pig, pig!

They call me.

Mr. Piggity-pig!

Heh heh heh.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the moment you've
been waiting for.

Hoping to be big, big, big stars

and have their personal lives
splattered across tabloid newspapers,

please welcome that magical
meerkat and ham hare,

Timon and rabbit!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And now, through
the mysterious power

of powerful, mysterious,
powerful mystery,

I, Timon, will pull a
rabbit out of this hat!

I know he's in here somewhere.

Get on with it!

Where's the rabbit?

This guy's a fake!

What a rotten thing.

Oh, no. Poor Timon.

If only there was
something I could do

to make a rabbit
come out of that hat.

Come out of there, hare, baby.

You're making
me look like a jerk.

Ta-da! I'm a rabbit!

Uh, say, Pumbaa, where
did you get that rabbit suit?

Ooh, a savory snail snack.

Crunchy on the outside,
squishy on the inside.

Snail-a-riffic!

Hyah!

Well, that's that, Pumbaa.

There is absolutely no way
to crack open that snail shell.

I've tried everything!

Everything except for
that toucan over there.

Ha! Right. Use a toucan
to crack open a shell.

Good thinkin', Einstein.

But, Timon, toucans belong
to the family ramphastidae.

They have specialized saw-edged
bills used for seizing and crushing.

I knew that.

Excuse me, Mr. Toucan, but
would you mind cracking open this...

But, Timon, no!

That's toucan Dan, a dangerously
clever criminal mastermind!

He's a liar and can make
anyone believe anything he says!

Who told you that?

The signs!

Signs, schmigns! Who needs 'em?

There.

Now, come here, toucan Dan.
I got a snail-crackin' job for you.

I am not... toucan Dan.

You're not?

My name is kronos.
I am a time traveler.

I am from what you would call...

- The future!
- Wow!

Don't believe him!

He's a dangerously clever
criminal mastermind...

Liar!

Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa.

You think I'm so dense that I'm just
gonna open the door to this cage?

Excuse me, could you
please open this door?

I need to return to
my time machine.

Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure.
Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah. I'm not just
gonna open this door...

He's out!

Don't interrupt! Let me finish!

I'm not just gonna
open this door

and let a dangerously clever
criminal mastermind go free.

Now I'm finished.

What were you going to say?

You just opened that door

and let a dangerously clever
criminal mastermind go free!

Eh, let's get outta here.

Word on the street is
toucan Dan's escaped.

Word on the street
is you let him go.

Didn't you see the signs?

Wait a minute.
Who took the signs?

- Yeah?
- Uh, not me!

Uh, me, neither. See ya?

Aaahhh!

Oh! Those signs!

You better catch toucan Dan...

- Catch him and bring him back here...
- And lock him up again.

Or the amount of trouble you're
gonna be in will increase exponentially.

Yeah, whatever that means.
Should we go into more detail?

- Nah. Too gruesome. Let's fly.
- Got it.

"Signs, schmigns," huh?

Hakuna matata, Pumbaa.

We can find that
toucan Dan easy.

It's not like he's
gonna hide in the

deepest, nastiest,
thorniest sticker bush

in the whole, wide world.

Oh! Ow! Eee! Ow!

Ooh! Ow! Eee! Ow! Ooh!

- Get in there!
- Ow!

Well, uh, that's that.

The dangerously clever
criminal... ouch... mastermind liar

is back in his cage! Ow...

Ohh... well, looks like you two
are just way too smart for me.

Don't listen to him!

So what are you waiting for?

Incarcerate me! Imprison me!

Throw me in the
cage and let me rot!

I beg you!

But, Timon, he's
already in the cage!

Don't be ridiculous.

He wouldn't beg to be locked
up if he was already locked up.

But he's saying in
is out and out is in!

But out is out and
in is in, like always,

not the other way around and
backwards, like he's saying!

Careful, Pumbaa.
You'll blow a neuron.

Now, get in there!

In! In! In!

Come on! We gotta get out!

Out! Out! Out!

Whoa! Stop touching me!

Goodbye.

Crud.

In you go!

Hide in an erupting
volcano, will ya?

Well, that didn't fool us.

Looks like you two are
way too smart for me...

No. Uh, uh, uh. I'm
not fallin' for that again

and for a second time.

Yeah! There. That
takes care of captain lie.

Timon?

Timon!

Wow...

What's he doin'?

It's sign language!
Stop looking at him!

What is he saying?

Don't translate!

He's saying that...

He's... Santa claus!

Don't believe him!

Ooh... and that he's
got to deliver gifts

to all the good, little
children of this planet

we lovingly call "earth."

Go, Santa! Go!

Ohhh!

Peace on earth!

Good will to all!

Ohhh!

- That's not Santa!
- Don't be absurd.

He's obviously Santa.

Just look at those
colorful feathers

and that specialized
saw-edged beak and...

Crud.

Uh... well...

Let's go get him.

Oh, why bother?

He's just going
to escape again...

And again...

And again!

I can't take it anymore!

But, Pumbaa, if
the vultures get back

and toucan Dan's not in the cage,
there's gonna be some kind of...

Ooh, undescribable gruesomeness.

Speak of the devils.

Mamma Mia!

- We're back.
- Yeah, back and lookin' for toucan Dan.

- Right.
- Toucan Dan is right...

There!

Glad to see you got him back.

Yeah. Kudos to you
and your... rat thing.

- Yeah. The rodent.
- Thanks!

Say, where is that rat thing?

- Um...
- Ahh, never mind.

Yeah. Unimportant.

What a relief.

Okay. Come on, toucan Dan.

It's time to get you
out of that cage...

And feed you to the lions.

- Lions.
- Lions?!

I am not toucan Dan!

I'm Timon! T-i-m-o-n!

You know, that rat
thing from the lion king!

Yeah. Rat thing.
Nice try, Dan...

But we know not to
believe anything you say.

But you gotta believe me!

Look.

Look!

Pumbaa, tell them I'm
me! They'll believe you.

It's true! He's Timon.

No, he's not, Pumbaa.

I'm the real Timon.

Don't believe him, Pumbaa!

You know I'm the real Timon.

- Now what do we do?
- Beats me.

Come on, Pumbaa...

Tell them who the real Timon is!

Oooh!

Hmm!

My brain!

I'm not sure which is which!

But I know a way
we can find out!

Ooh!

You big bullies,
crackin' a guy's shell!

Don't look at me!

You see, only toucan Dan

has a specialized saw-edged bill

designed for
seizing and cracking.

Therefore, that...
Is toucan Dan!

Drats.

And I believe that makes
you my bestest, best pal...

The real Timon!

Gee, I'm glad you
figured it out so quickly.