02x09 - Timon on the Range/The Man from J.U.N.G.L.E.

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon & Pumbaa ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,

welcome to the hakuna
matata mega-mall.

The friendliest shopping
mall in the world.

At participating stores only,
degree of friendliness may vary.

A shopping mall!

Cool.

Yeah. Having a shopping mall
around might not be such a bad idea.

Boy, a shopping
mall! They're so neat.

Scratch that idea. Let's
get out of here now.

But, Timon, that's irwin. He's
our friend. Don't you remember?

Irwin is a mook, Pumbaa. An
accident-prone, clumsy ox mook.

Don't you remember that
every time we get near him,

we end up in throbbing,
agonizing pain?

Your turn, irwin.

I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Ow! You're right, Timon.

Let's get out of here
before irwin sees us.

Oh, Timon! Oh,
Pumbaa! I see you!

Wait, wait, wait, wait! I
have to ask you something.

- Ouch, ouch! Ouch, ouch!
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

You've got to get going,
Pumbaa, we don't have much time.

He's clumsy, but he's quick.

Uh, Timon,

why don't we just see
what irwin wants to ask us?

What could happen?

What could happen?

I'm so sorry. Are you okay!

Remember, Pumbaa,
he's our friend.

You're right, Timon. Let's move.

Hey, you guys! I have
a question for you!

Thank you.

Please come to the
eeny-meeny mini-mart again.

Excuse me, gentlemen, but will
you be buying those magazines?

This is not a library, you know.

Relax, egghead.

Cash or charge?

Eh, take a hike, chrome dome.

Chrome dome?

You dare call me chrome
dome? I'll give you a chrome dome!

I'm uninjured!

Ow!

Come on, act like a dog.
If irwin in comes here,

he'll never know the difference.

Wouldn't it just be easier to
face irwin and see what he wants?

Do me a favor, Pumbaa.
Take a moment to relive

the pain and agony
irwin has caused.

Aah!

Timon! Pumbaa!

Hey, have you seen a
meerkat and a warthog

named Timon and Pumbaa?

No. We are dogs.

- Uh, bark, woof.
- Arf, woof, bow-wow.

Arf arf. Woofy woofy.

- Bark barky.
- Alright.

I'll just keep looking.

Uh, good idea.

Ruff.

You are the two ugliest
dogs, I have ever seen!

Poor little ugly doggies.
You are so pathetic and ugly,

no one would ever, ever,
ever, ever take you home.

But I will.

This is it, Pumbaa.
She's taking us home.

I can't wait to take
you ugly dogs home.

I'm gonna love you and hug you
and squeeze you and feed you

and bathe you and brush you.

But first you have
to get your shots!

Huh? Huh?

- Ock, ock, ock, ock, ock!
- Yipe, yipe yipe, yipe!

- Ouch, ooch, ow, ooch!
- Ow, ooh! Ow, ooh, ooh.

At least we don't have
to worry about distemper.

It's about time you
loafs showed up.

You better fix that car,
and you better fix it pronto!

Or what?

Or I'll throw you
out on the street!

All done! Bring her down!

What do we do now, Timon?

Don't worry, I've
got a plan. Come on.

Done.

Sorry, you'll have to wait
outside till there's a table available.

Outside?

Uh, "no irwins." No irwins?

Darn!

Eh, you don't seem
to realize who I am.

I'm, eh, I'm basil spicerack!

Yeah. The most famous
restaurant critic in the world.

And this is, uh... eh, chili bean. A
zebanese speaking zebanesian,

who flew all the way from
zebanesia just to taste your food.

I'm zebanese!

Well, this is more like it.

We aim to please here
at nothin' but chicken.

Let's hope so.

Well?

Tastes like chicken.

Ooh.

Does anyone speak zebanese?

He does.

Well?

He said, uh...
uh... uh, "it's a boy!"

- Yay! Wonderful!
- Lovely, lovely.

He said, uh... "Does
anyone have light?"

There they are!
There's my ugly dogs!

Get 'em!

You insulting, unpaid-for,
magazine-reading troublemakers!

Get 'em!

They need more
shots. Get 'em! Get 'em!

He's a lousy food
critic! Get 'em!

He's a lousy translator.

Get him!

We hear you're
stirring up trouble.

With a capital "t"

that's against the law.

Yeah, it's ill*gal, too,

gonna have to arrest you.

- Take you in.
- Lock you up.

- Troublemakers.
- Yeah, right.

I told you so.

There's my ugly dogs.

Shots! Shots! They
need more shots!

Translate this, chili.

Tastes like chicken?

I'll take justice
into my own hands.

- Book 'em.
- Wait a minute!

You have it all wrong.
We're Timon and Pumbaa.

Innocent denizens of the jungle.

You're gonna have
to do better than that.

- A lot better.
- We'll give you a chance.

Just tell us one thing...

- Is there anyone who can...
- vouch for you two?

Yeah, a voucher.

Oh, boy, sidewalk gum.

Well?

Timon, we've got to
get irwin to vouch for us.

But we'll get smashed by
something very large and painful

but if we don't get irwin to vouch
for us, this mob will descend on us

like a plague of
raving howler monkeys!

Hey, irwin!

Irwin, buddy, pal.

We need your help.

Please tell these nice people
that we are Timon and Pumbaa,

your good and decent friends.

And that we're not ugly
dogs, food critics, translators,

or insulting, unpaid-for,
magazine-reading troublemakers.

I'm irwin.

We know, we know, we know.

I have a question for you.

Have you seen my car?

You're right about irwin,
Timon. What a mook.

Wow! Look at all these books!

Shh!

Every one of them is a doorway
to a new world full of adventure.

The adventures of
huckleberry Finn, for example.

Ah, books are for mooks.

It's pronounced books.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

The point is, we didn't
come here for those books,

we came here for the bookworms.

Shh.

But, Timon, a bookworm
is not an actual insect.

It's a person with an
intense interest in books.

Oh, yeah?

Then what's that?

A bookworm.

Make one more sound,
just one more sound,

and you're history.

Understand?

Psst.

Aaahh!

Psst.

Where'd he go?

Uh, uh, I... I don't know.

Well, we're not moving
a muscle till we see him.

Psst.

Shh.

Hello.

Hello.

Yo, granny.

Hey, you, you
book readin' mook?!

It's pronounced "book"!

Whatever. Reel me in.

He's gotta be around
here somewhere.

I bet he's hiding in
one of these books.

It's pronounced "books."

Whatever.

Psst!

Get him.

Aah!

Heh heh heh heh.

Huh?

Psst!

Gotcha!

Aah!

- Aah!
- Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Argh! Where we be
now? Why did I say "argh"?

Because we washed
up onto treasure island.

Page 347, if I'm not mistaken.

Treasure? What treasure?

Ah ha ha! Treasure!
Glorious treasure!

Jewels! Gold! Ah ha
ha! We're rich! Rich!

Rich! Ah ha ha ha!

Hey, Pumbaa, maybe books
are good for something after all.

Whoo! Yee-hah!

Uh, Timon.

Argh! Argh! Argh!

Oh! Stupid books.

It's pronounced "books,"
and they're not stupid.

Argh! Quit yer yappin'
and walk the plank. Yaah!

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Oof!
- Oof!

Psst.

Come on, let's get him.

Hold on!

Come on. That's
the last of them.

That was the last
of the mohicans.

Ebeneezer scrooge, tonight
you will be visited by three spirits...

Ooh! Uhh! Oh!

- Sorry.
- Hey!

I can fly! I can
fly! I'm flying!

I hope no one sees
me dressed like this.

What's that wiggling around?
Pumbaa, get the lights.

Gotcha!

Uhh! You... get away!

What are these flappy winged
things doing way out here, anyway?

We're in Moby d*ck, Timon,
and the seagulls are a sign.

Yeah, right. A sign of what?

It's a sign that land will
appear where there be no land.

What? What are
you talking about?

Pumbaa, what does he
mean? What's going to happen?

Is this my last
meal? I gotta know!

Since when? I thought you
said books were for mooks.

It's pronounced "books,"
and I didn't mean it.

Books are grand, in
fact, starting tomorrow,

I'm going to read a book
every day, cover to cover.

Just tell me how this one ends!

Gee, I don't know, Timon.
I never finished this book.

You what!

Do you know how
long Moby d*ck is?

Despite its widespread popularity,
it is by no means a quick read.

- Aah!
- Mommy!

Psst!

Aah!

Shh-hush!

Hoo hoo hoo hoo... eek!