03x11 - Hot Enough For Ya?/Werehog of London

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Lunch time!

I can hardly wait.

Pumbaa, we're in a rut.

Day after day, we eat bugs.

Nothing else. Just
plain, ordinary bugs.

Ptooo!

You're right, Timon.

These are nice and
chewy, but... mmm...

They don't have much taste.

There, you see?

All the joy has gone out of the
best part of the day, mealtime.

I mean, if we don't have
fun eating, what's left for us?

Sleeping?

We've got to make
food fun again.

Okay. Uh, let's tease the
bugs first, then eat them.

Or... or... or we could
play catch with them.

That would be fun, huh, Timon?

Now I figure we need to make
our bugs into some kind of... dish.

Yeah, something
with a little pizzazz.

We could sprinkle
them on oatmeal.

We could if we were 2 mooks.

Oh, yeah. But we're
not 2 mooks, uh, right?

You're half right.

Hey, for me, that's pretty good.

Pumbaa, I'm gonna come up
with a way to spice up our bugs,

and I'm not moving
until I think of something.

Oh, uh, Timon, can we try to
think of spicy dishes tomorrow?

'Cause I'm chilly. I mean,
it's really chilly out here.

Aren't you chilly?

Boy, I know I'm chilly.

I've got it!

Chili! We'll make spicy
hot, tantalizing bug chili.

You're a genius, Timon.

How in the world did
you come up with that?

Like magic, ain't it?

Now, that was fun.

Sure was.

Uh, is there any left?

Nope. Could you
eat it if there was?

Be worth a try.

Ohh! That was the
best bug dish I ever had.

No question, and the hottest.

Think so?

Well, it wasn't too hot
for this little meerkat.

I've come to realize
I like my food spicy.

Oh, me, too!

Well, sure, but I think I like
my food hotter than you do.

I don't know, the
bug chili we just ate

could have been a lot
hotter, as far as I'm concerned.

Blazing hot would have
been more to my taste.

Actually, searing hot
is more like it for me.

Blistering is my favorite.

Scorching hot is perfect.

Well, one of us
likes his food hotter.

That's right, one of us does.

So one of us is a tough,
macho Serengeti jungle dude

who loves very, very spicy food,

which would therefore mean the
other one of us is a pathetic wimp

who can't stand the heat and
really should get out of the kitchen.

And I know the perfect
way to prove who's who.

Who's who? How?

We'll have a chili contest

to see who can make the
most hot and spicy bug chili.

You eat the chili I make,
I eat what you make.

Okay, by me.

But how do we decide
who is the winner?

I'll be the winner
when you say "uncle."

So... you ready?

I was born ready.

You first.

What's the matter, you scared?

Could you excuse
me for a moment?

Well?

Good try, Pumbaa.

I could sense the effort you
made, and it wasn't exactly mild.

No, it wasn't.

More like meek, you
mook, but definitely not hot.

Now try the chili I made.

I can't wait.

Well?

I think I hear the phone.
I've been expecting a call.

Uh, be just a sec.

Not bad. Doesn't really
have much of a kick though.

First round looks like a draw.

You go first this time.

You're afraid, aren't you?

Timon's a chili chicken!
Timon's a chili chicken!

Braawk! Braawk! Braawk! Braawk!

Give me that chili!

Hmm. A timid little creation

with a below-average
finish and mediocre bouquet.

But I think the mailman is here,

and I've been meaning to
ask him a postage question.

Would you excuse me.

Certainly.

You thought that was hot?

Pumbaa, I know nursing
homes that serve spicier tapioca.

Now try mine.

Bring it on, baby!

Where are you going?

Sorry I didn't answer
you, but as I was chewing,

the oddest thing happened.

My mouth actually fell asleep.
I went outside to wake it up.

Hmm.

Well, then, it looks like
this round is a draw, too.

Looks like.

- Eat it!
- Eat it!

Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!

Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!

A little bland, don't you think?

Not bad if you like
totally tasteless bug chili.

You didn't think
my chili was hot?

"Pyro potion the
ultimate hot sauce. "

Use supplied eyedropper
with extreme caution."

"Captain napalm's
tonsil t*rture...

"Ex-ex-extra hot.

"Contains extract
of flame, rocket fuel,

"brimstone and...
"ooh, "and corn syrup."

I just got one question for you.

When you say "uncle"
after you taste this,

will you have a specific uncle
in mind or just uncles in general?

It won't really matter, Timon.

You won't be able
to hear me anyway.

Because after you taste this, not
only will you be hollering "uncle,"

you'll be hollering "aunt,"

and "mommy" and "daddy" and "grandpa"
and... enough with the talking already.

Let's eat!

Yeah, let's eat!

Be my guest.

Go right ahead.

After you.

No, I insist.

Age before beauty.

Weight before brains.

Ready...

Set...

- Chew!
- Chew!

Uh, we have ignition.

We have liftoff!

- Uncle!
- Uncle!

It's very good, Pumbaa.

I could use a glass of ice
water about now though.

How about you?

Timon, you outdid yourself.

This is just right.

Uh, but is it me, or is it
a little warm out tonight?

Beware of the werehog,

who travels by the
light of the full moon.

I know the streets are
dark and dangerous,

but it's only a short walk home.

Brad, for the last time,

I am not making myself a target
for some lunatic hiding in the bushes.

Brad, is that you?

Brad, that's not funny.

No one is safe from
the curse of the werehog.

Wake up, sleeping hogly.

We're in London, and,
oh, the sights we'll see,

big Ben, Piccadilly circus,

and the office of
Harvey Lipschitz,

the only dentist this side
of the English channel.

Boy, I sure didn't get much
sleep last night, Timon.

Talk to the paw, my friend.

We are on vacation, and nothing,
not even incessant complaining,

is going to ruin my up mood.

Beware of the werehog,

who travels by the
light of the full moon.

He lives to terrorize
you and your children.

But we don't have children.

We don't even have girlfriends.

No one is safe from
the curse of the werehog,

not you, not you,

and not those meddling
teens and their pesky dog.

Uh, Timon, I got goose bumps.

Please. It's gonna
take a lot more than a

creepy fortune teller
to ruin my up mood.

Ooh, souvenirs!

Who doesn't love souvenirs?

Have you checked the children?

What?

These are my souvenir
children of the corn husks.

They're on special.

Gulp. Uh, Pumbaa, let's go. Ha.

Pumbaa?

You know, you have a
real flair for the dramatic.

I come with a warning.

Trust no one, not
even your friend.

I fear the vicious beast from
within him has been awakened.

Pumbaa, a vicious beast?

That tickles!

Believe you me,

Pumbaa is not someone who
stays up all night stalking people.

Hello, creepy fortune teller?

Hey, Timon, I'm going back
to the park to take a nap.

I barely got a wink
of sleep last night,

and I had the strangest dream

I was wandering the streets
hungry for human flesh.

By the way, how's
your up mood doing?

Gulp. Down, way down.

He can't be a werehog.
But what if he is?

But he can't be.

But how can I be
sure? Think. Think.

Of course.

Let's see, it must be in here. Great
expectations, wuthering heights...

Eureka! how to tell if your
bestest best friend is a werehog.

Werehog attacks have been
documented for centuries.

"Historically, once a hog tastes
blood, he always goes back for more."

Hmm...

Ouch! Ooh, that smarts!

It's true.

But how can I cure my bestest
best friend of this beastly behavior?

Don't you just love taking
midnight walks, Vicky?

Oh, of course I do,
Victor. I feel so alive.

And now that we're starting
out our new life together,

I feel like nothing can stop us.

No! No, it can't be!

Here's my card.

"Creepy fortune
teller's house of

exorcism. We accept
competitor's coupons."

Hmm...

Well, here we are, Pumbaa.

This sure doesn't look
like Buckingham Palace.

Well, of course it doesn't.

They use trick mirrors
to fool the paparazzi.

I've been expecting you.

Are you the queen?

I am creepy fortune teller,
and this is my assistant she-gor.

- She-gor?
- She-gor?

I'm an equal
opportunity employer.

So, shall we begin?

Only silver can stop
the curse of the werehog.

First, the silver b*llet.

Next, silverware.

And last, silverfish.

So what do you say,
doc? Is he cured?

We'll have to wait until
tonight to be certain.

Oh, by the way,

it's legend that on the
third night of the full moon,

the werehog kills and
eats the thing it likes best.

Gulp.

Hey, bestest best
friend, can we eat soon?

It's getting dark
and I'm starved.

Ohh!

Hey, there, Pumbaa, old pal,

you're not getting ready
for bed already, are ya?

I sure am pooped, Timon.

Pooped? Who's
pooped? You're pooped?

- You're not pooped.
- I'm not?

I'm poopooying your pooped.

Hey, I got an idea.

Let's play a game called
"tie the warthog to a tree

with steel cables till morning."

Doesn't that sound
like oodles of fun?

Good night, Timon.

Good night? Yeah?

Oh, yeah, I'll have a
good night, all right,

just like Carrie
had a good prom.

You're just panicking.

Pumbaa's your friend.
He is not after you.

♪ One, two Pumbaa's after you ♪

♪ three, four, he's
your friend no more ♪

I gotta get out of here!

I gotta get help.

It's true! Pumbaa is a k*ller!

Shame on him! What
would his mother think?

Mother, is that you?

For shame, Pumbaa, for shame!

What was that for?

That was for trying to k*ll
your bestest best friend,

and that was for sticking
me in a rocking chair

while you used my motel to flirt with
that blonde girl having car trouble.

Car trouble? That was a movie!

Timon!

Oh, it was a movie.
Boy, am I chagrined.

Well, see ya.

Timon, you thought
I was the werehog?

Me, think you were a werehog?

That's a good one,
Pumbaa. I laugh. Ha.

I laugh twice. Ha ha.
I laugh three times...

Okay, we'll leave it at twice.

Pumbaa, if that's your shadow
there and that's my shadow there,

then whose shadow is that?

Why is everybody
scared of my shadow?

Well, looks like I owe
you an apology, big guy.

I should have trusted you,

and I shouldn't have watched
so many scary movies.

It's okay, Timon.

Just as long as you promise

to never mistake me for
a bloodthirsty k*ller again.

Deal. You know, if we
really were in a horror movie,

this would be the exact time

something scary would
happen to set up the sequel.