03x17 - Jungle Slickers/Don't Wake the Neighbear

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Hey, how dare somebody steal
me and Pumbaa's life savings...

Before I could.

Well, don't worry,
Timon. I took the money.

Oh... heh... Pumbaa.

I was just... that is, I
was looking for... wait.

You took it? That's disgusting!

I can't believe it. My best
friend is more devious than I am.

Wait till I tell you what
I did with it, Timon.

I was up watching TV
really late one night,

and there was this show on
with this guy who kept yelling,

and this really happy audience,

and I called the show and
made the best decision of my life.

And what decision was
that? I'm afraid to ask.

I invested in property.

Beachfront property.

What? I was saving that money so
that we could take a trip to Manhattan.

I hear they got c*ck
there the size of watermelons.

Where did you buy
beachfront property?

Why, right here in
sunny, tropical Kansas.

Kansas?

We're in Kansas?

Pumbaa, you've been ripped off.

But wait. There's a picture...
And little teeny words.

"Objects in picture may be
smaller than they appear."

I can't believe you
blew our life savings

on this rancid
little patch of dust!

Uhh, Timon, I know you're upset,

but I think we should give
this whole farm thing a try.

Oh, no...

Think of the possibilities.
We could raise cattle.

With what, a forklift?

We have horses to go riding.

Oh, yes.

Behold our mighty steeds.

Looky. We got a barn.
We've never had a barn before.

Whoopie.

We've never had rabies
before either, have we?

Ah, look, a cute
little clubhouse.

That's it. I'm outta here.

Ple-e-ease, Timon, ple-e-e-ease?

I've always dreamed of
living off the fat of the land.

It's been my fantasy. I
want to be... a farmer.

Come on, buddy, I can't
stand to see you like this.

Oh! I can't stand, period.

Would you knock it off?

Aw, gee, stop with
the... oh, all right!

Ain't them those weirdo
animals like I seen on the TV?

Fancy-pants critters. Won't
last a cow-milkin' around here.

Gol' darn jungle slickers.

Where is he? I'll
wring his neck.

I'll pluck him and
make a pillow out of him

and then I'll go back
to sleep on him. Yeah!

Oh, that's just our
alarm clock from now on.

Why not go get some eggs
for breakfast, eh, farmer Timon?

Okey dokey, farmer Pumbaa.

All right, I'm here for the
eggs. Who's in charge?

It's the weasel!

What? Weasel? Where?

Oh. You mean this.
That isn't me. Really.

Get him!

Hey! No!

That self defense for single
hens class really paid off.

Let's see. "Meal worms,
mutton, milking"... aha.

"Milking... use fingers
to grasp firmly." Uh-huh...

Can I help you?

Uh, yes, ma'am. I
need some milk...

Please?

Wow. Thanks very much.

You trying to leave
without payin'?

Uh, well, since I don't
have any money, uhh... yes.

Oh, really?

Well, how's it
going, farmer Timon?

I am going to k*ll you.

Uh, I think they're hungry.

You don't say.

Pumbaa, this is ridiculous.

What exactly do you
plan to feed them?

It says in my farming book
we're supposed to pitch hay.

Not again!

Oh, look. Daylight come
and we ought to go home.

Wait, Timon. We can't quit.

We're farmers, and we
haven't even tried planting.

We gotta try planting.

Silly me.

We had to have the
mondo jumbo bags of seed?

We couldn't just get
those little envelopes?

Of course not, farmer Timon.
These are what real farmers use.

This is even better than that
TV show with them funny videos.

Or that one about the police.

Hey, I must be getting muscles.

When I started, this bag
was heavy, but now it's... huh?

Lunch.

Not to worry.

We still have another
bag, farmer Timon,

and they ain't gettin' this one.

That ought to scare the birds.

Oh, yeah, sure, if they're
afraid of hand-me-downs.

Why, those dirty
birds. I'll show 'em.

Leave the scarin' to me, Pumbaa.

Stop biting me
there! That's private!

It's a miracle, farmer
Timon... our first harvest.

We actually grew
something. We're real farmers.

I told you we
could make it work.

Yeah, I gotta hand it
to ya, farmer Pumbaa.

Come on, let's pick these crops
before something happens to 'em.

Huh? Do you hear
that? It sounds like bugs.

That's it! I can't stand it!

The farm's ruined, and we're
broke, and it's all my fault,

and now I'll never
be a real farmer

I'll just... smell like one.

Oh, no, Pumbaa, not this time. Our
luck is changing, and like you said,

this farming thing
is gonna work for us.

Just watch.

Yee-haw!

♪ Old macPumbaa had a farm ♪

♪ e-i-e-i-o ♪

♪ and on this farm
he had some bugs ♪

♪ e-i-e-i-o! ♪

♪ With a bug-bug here
and a bug-bug there ♪

♪ here a bug, there a bug,
everywhere a bug-bug ♪

♪ old macPumbaa had a farm ♪

♪ e-i-e-i-o! ♪

I don't know why they call
them there bugs pests, Pumbaa.

Reckon I was real
glad to see 'em.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, neighbors... We saw
ya eatin' up all them locusts.

Much obliged, 'cause
you saved our crops.

Yeah. I can see how you little
bug scarfers ain't so bad, huh?

Now, don't go
gettin' all mushy, Jeb.

Night, folks.

Night! Night!

You know, Pumbaa, I reckon
farmin' life ain't so bad after all.

Yeah. We can be farmers from
now on, livin' off the fat of the land.

Fresh air, green trees,
food from mother earth,

that's the life for us.

Excuse me, gents.

Would you two chaps accompany me

to my c*ck-infested
penthouse in Manhattan?

Last one in is a rotten mook.

My aunt lives on the
second floor, Timon.

Thanks again for
helping me housesit.

Are you kiddin' me, Pumbaa?
This is gonna be great.

We can party all weekend.

I don't know, Timon. A party?

Yeah, a party. Nice pad.

A bit stuffy, but it'll do.

Whew.

Timon! We have to be careful.

All the things in auntie's house
are priceless family heirlooms.

She would be furious
if anything happened

to even the itty-bittiest
of her trinkets.

Don't you worry, Pumbaa.

I mean, what could happen?

Nothing, that's what. I'm
gonna find something to eat.

Ya hungry? Ooh...

Timon, how 'bout if you just sit here
and relax and try not to break anything,

and I go fix us
something to munch on?

Great. I'll call the fellas and
get this shindig happenin'.

Hey, guys, the party is on.

I repeat, the party is on.

What is that?

It's tea and croissant thingies,

the perfect thing for
our nice little party.

Pumbaa, I am a wild animal.

I need a wild party.

Observe.

Timon! Your music almost
knocked over auntie's figurines.

Almost, but not quite.

So relax. Nothing's broken.

Pipe down up there.

Why don't you come
up here and make me?

Told him.

Who is it?

Uh, I think it's for you.

Who's makin' all
the noise up here?

Little old me.

I'm only gonna say this
once, so listen closely.

I work night times, and I
sleep during the daytimes.

This is the daytime,
and I'm trying to sleep.

Do you understand?

Now, if I don't get my
sleep, I get grumpy.

And when I get grumpy,

ooh, bad things
happen to the folks

who are likely responsible for
putting me in a grumpy condition.

What I'm trying to say
is, you better quiet down,

or I'm gonna put you
both in a rocket ship

with a one-way ticket
to a world of hurt.

Any questions?

Whatever you say... neighbor.

He's not so tough.

I heard that.

Psst, Timon, I have an idea.

When your friends get here,
we'll just play quiet party games.

Pumbaa, my friends don't know
the meaning of the word quiet.

They are the living
embodiment of noise.

Why, they couldn't be quiet
if their life depended on it.

My friends.

Gotta call 'em, cancel party.

Did someone say party?

Keep it down.

Howdy, boys!

What's that you say?

Quiet. You need to be quiet.

How about if we feed 'em?

Great idea. It's hard to
jabber with your mouth full.

Let's get the grub.

What part of "quiet"
don't you understand?

What?

You know what, neighbor?

I'm getting the feeling you
fellas weren't listening to me

when I was up here before.

Let's get everything straight

so that there can be no
mistake about what I mean.

Okay?

Okay.

Now, if I hear
anything from up here,

even so much as the
tiniest little creak in the floor,

I might come up here
and, oh, I don't know,

grab whatever is making
noise, like your tongue,

and make like a
phone cord with it.

I'm talking the twisted,
mangled phone cord

of a teenage girl who just
spent the last five hours twirling it

as she talks to her girlfriends
about all the cute boys at school.

So you understand me now?

Mm-hmm.

Good night.

Boy, what a party pooper.

We came here to have a
party, and we're gonna have it.

I have a plan.

Whew. Ughh... uhhh...

Hrmmm...

Hey, bear...

Yeah, you, the big, dumb mook.

Boys, mission successful.

Let's party... but quietly.

I said quietly! Got it?

Uhh...

I'd like to take this
quiet moment to say...

This party is over!

Anything broken?

No. Lucky for us.

Timon!

I know! I know!

Ya see, it was like
this... we were just...

They were just...
and then they were...

So... so then...

Please don't eat us!

You did this!

I've never seen
those before in my life.

Well, I warned you how grumpy
I'd be if I didn't get my sleep,

and, boy, am I ever grumpy!

Prepare for a big-time hurtin'.

Oh, darn, I gotta get to work.

Ohh... whew...

You guys got lucky
this time, but don't worry.

I'll catch up with ya later.

Whew.

Finally we don't have to
whisper anymore, Pumbaa.

And what did I tell ya, none of
your auntie's things got busted.

Yeah. You were right, Timon.

You're doin' fine, Mrs. Finch.

Uh, about the house, Pumbaa...

Ah, it could have been worse.

I mean, I thought for sure
that bear was going to k*ll us.

Maybe he won't k*ll you...

But I'm going to!