03x19 - Ivy Beleaguered/Broadway Bound & Gagged

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passin' craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna! Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Pumbaa, would you kindly remind
me why you have dragged me here?

Because we are going back
to school to get an education.

When I was small...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Did you say school?

Because school means homework.

Notice the remarkable
similarity to the word "work,"

from the Sanskrit workus, meaning
work, and "home" meaning more work.

In short, not very
hakuna matata.

I guess this means

I'll never live my childhood
dream of going to college.

Eesh! Alright, alright.
Don't make a scene.

Ahh!

Oh, boy, oh, boy!
This is gonna be great.

We're gonna learn so much.

Yeah?

Hello. I'm Pumbaa, and
this is Timon. Is this college?

Well, sort of. This is a
college fraternity house.

Welcome to pi lambda omega pi,

better known as "p.L.O.P."

Oh, boy! Let's go in!

Oh, no. Sort of college
still means sort of work.

And...

Wow! How many times
do I have to tell ya, Pumbaa,

college is gonna be great...

Hey, not so fast.
You can't just come in.

You have to be accepted.

Accepted? Oh, boy! Sounds great.

Sounds great!

Uh, what does
accepted mean exactly?

It means we have to see
if you're p.L.O.P. Material.

I set before you the three
dreaded tasks of p.L.O.P.

The first task will
be... wearing togas.

What, are they kidding?

This is gonna be like
taking bugs from a baby.

Boy, it's a lot harder than
it looks, huh, Pumbaa?

Ooh!

Wow!

Ahh!

Uh, what's that, Timon?

Showoff.

Your next task will be
the dreaded football catch.

Don't make me laugh.

My third cousin was
fourth string narrow receiver

for the north Virginia
fighting gerbils.

Come to papa!

Timon, did you see that?
I caught it! Eh, Timon?

Eh...

For our final challenge,
the dreaded burp.

Eesh! You guys should
think of some hard ones.

My family has a proud
history of intestinal disorders.

Burp.

Burrrrrrrrrrrp!

That... that... that
was beautiful, man.

Congratulations, Pumbaa.
Welcome to p.L.O.P.

Pumbaa! Pumbaa! Pumbaa! Pumbaa!

Wait one
parasite-picking minute.

You're gonna take a mook
like that and not take me?

Yeah, you're gonna take a mook
like me and not my buddy Timon?

Whoa!

Uh, sorry for giving you the wrong
idea. We're not rejecting Timon.

Naturally.

Uh, we just have a special
job that only he can do far away.

He's gonna be our lookout,
you know, so no riffraff gets in.

You hear that, Pumbaa?
I got a special job.

Way to go, Timon!

Where's my post?

You see that little speck 2,000
miles from the football field?

No.

Well, your post is about a
mile down the road from there.

You turn right and just keep
going till we forget you exist.

Bye, Timon. Have fun.

Phew!

Aah!

Aah!

Hey, what's the big idea?

This is supposed to
be my lookout post.

Your post? I've been
waiting here since 1907,

keeping out the riffraff,

making sure none of
them get into p.L.O.P.



Uh, 11-teen, minus the two,
carry the one... a really long time.

Well, it's a very special job.

So be on your toes
for riffraff, like that.

Now, wait just a second!

Hello?

Eh, hello. I believe
there's been some mistake.

Now, I'm certain that you
did not mean to exclude me

from this fine
institution, so I... uhh!

I'll show them. I can have
a good time without them.

It's my buddy Timon.

Uh, leave him alone.

He has a very important job
and, uh, can't be disturbed.

Oh! Gotcha!

Oh, it's my buddy Timon.
I'm gonna go say hi.

No! We told you, he can't be disturbed
during his extra-secret special mission.

Well, gee, uh, I don't want
to ruin his mission for him.

Hey, gorgeous! Ever
dance with a meerkat?

Oh!

Eh, hey, there, good-looking.
Wanna cut a rug?

A rat! A rat!

A rat!

A rat!

Naaaa! Aah! Aah... ooh!

This is getting a bit tedious.

That's it! I can't
take this anymore!

Uhh!

Pumbaa, I got
something to tell you.

Me, too! Isn't college great?

What?

For the first time in
my life, I'm popular.

When I was a piglet, nobody liked
me. But now, everybody likes me.

My new friends told me about the
special job they gave you, Timon.

I miss you, but at least I
know you're happy, too.

So what did you want to tell me?

I just wanted to tell you
what a swell time I'm having.

Oh, that's great. See
you at the big party tonight.

Yeah, right.

Well, it could have been worse.
I could have gotten trampled.

It's Pumbaa!

Ooh! Eee! Aah! Ooh! Ooh!

So, how are you enjoying
your first p.L.O.P. Party?

Uh, it's great, except I
miss my buddy Timon.

I can't wait till he gets here.

Timon? Gets here?

Yeah, my bestest buddy Timon.

I'm sure when he gets
finished with his special mission,

he'll head right over and...

listen, I think it's time we told you.
Timon isn't on a special mission.

Well, then, how come you made
him go all the way to the lookout post

and sit far away
from us at lunch?

Because he wasn't
exactly p.L.O.P. Material,

you know, so we didn't
want him bugging us.

Oh, really?

Boy, they're sure
having some great time.

Uhh! Oh, I just can't stand it!

Timon! Timon!

Pumbaa? Uhh!

Uhh! Ohh!

Oh, Timon, I feel terrible.

How come you didn't tell me
they didn't let you into p.L.O.P.?

I... I didn't want to spoil it for
you. You seemed so happy.

Not as happy as I am to
be back with my best bud.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Ah, good old hakuna
matata university,

where we can leisurely pursue
a degree in doing nothing.

I am so glad we are
finally going to college.

Yeah. It's not nearly as
hard as I thought it would be.

Broadway, baby, here we come!

People, people!

You are auditioning for Broadway
dance legend, Bob coffee.

Aah!

Ohh!

Ohh!

- Stop that!
- I can't work like this.

You two!

Us?

Oh, why'd they do that, Timon?
We didn't even get to sing.

It is a puzzlement.

Ah, but what do those mooks
know about putting on a show,

when our life story would make
the greatest musical of them all?

Oh, boy, Timon, a musical
about us. I can't wait to...

Uh, Timon, doesn't it cost a lot
of money to put on a musical?

Pumbaa, this is America.
No one uses money here.

See?

All you have to do to pay for
something is sign your name.

Now, the whole secret to
success on Broadway is to think big.

I'm already pretty big, Timon.

No that kind of big, you mook.

I mean glamorous, spectacular,
spell binding, gut-wrenching,

pulse-pounding,
heart-stopping, over-the-top!

But first, we have to come
up with a really good title.

Something like, uh, le
meerkats, or Timon superstar.

Gee, Timon, I think a
better title for our musical

would be s unday in the
park with Timon and Pumbaa,

or, uh, Timon and the
amazing technicolor Pumbaa.

It is obvious, Pumbaa, that you
have no inkling of Broadway history.

Ever hear of a musical
called g uys and hogs?

Uh, no.

Fiddler on the hoof?

Uh, I don't think so.

Swineset boulevard?

Uh, sorry, Timon. I haven't
heard of any of those musicals.

Of course you haven't!

That's because every
musical with a warthog

has been a gigantic,
stupendous, unbelievable flop.

And that's why our big, bodacious,
incredibly successful musical

is gonna be 100% warthog-free.

You mean we're not going to
put any warthogs in our musical?

Precisely.

Ah, come on, Timon,

I'm sure we can have a musical
with warthogs that doesn't stink.

Sorry, Pumbaa. Can't take a
chance. It's meerkats, now and forever.

Timon, would you really put on
a show without your warthog pal?

Pumbaa, this is Broadway.

It'll be your turn when
we do the state fair.

Well, then, maybe I'll just
have to make my own musical.

Pumbaa, don't be a mook.
A show with a warthog

can never be as successful
as a musical with meerkats.

Pig is beautiful! You
just wait and see.

I'm gonna put on a show with
everything but the king of Siam.

Fa fa fa.

Okay, people, let's put
on those rodent outfits.

Uh, they are meerkat costumes.

Right, right. And let's
start thinking like muskrats.

I can't work like this.

The bill for
costumes, Mr. Timon.

No problem. The more bills I sign,
the more spectacular my musical will be.

I wonder what old
Pumbaa's up to?

If he's got smoke effects,
then I'm gonna need lasers.

Maybe I'll go over and
see how Timon is doing.

Ow!

Hey, Timon?

Aha! Thought you could
spy on my show, did ya?

Uh, no, Timon. I just
wanted to see, uh...

Oh, yeah, yeah,
you wanted to see,

see if my show was
bigger and better than yours,

with your silly
little smoke effects.

Well, watch this!

Ha ha! See, rotating
stage. Top that, Pumbaa.

People, people,
you are auditioning

for Broadway dance
legend, Bob coffee.

Medical bill, Mr. Timon.

Gee, Timon, don't you think
we're taking this show competition

a little too far?

Too far? Too far?

Pumbaa, the only way
to have a hit on Broadway

is to have more splash and
pizzazz than other musical in town.

And that musical is
going to be... mine.

More splash and pizzazz, huh?

Hmm! Well, we'll just
see whose show has more.

More roller-skating bugs!

More funny feathered hats!

More angels!

More leprechauns!

Ohh! Aah!

More samurai!

- More cowboys!
- Hiya! Ya-hoo!

More giant butterflies!

More long-haired bohemians!

More crazed barbers!

More Greek pillars!

More giant paintings!

More rainstorms!

I can't work like this.

More hot-air balloons!

People, people!

You are auditioning for Broadway
dance legend, Bob coffee.

More helicopters!

More transforming junk heaps!

More exploding pinball machines!

More singing and
dancing silverware!

More blue people squirting
banana smoothies out of their chests!

More!

More!

More! More! More! More!
More! More! More! More! More!

This is the invoice
for your first payment.

Well, give me a
pen and I'll sign it.

Can't you see I've got a big
Broadway show to run here?

No, Mr. Timon, I need
you to pay the bank now,

or else...

Or else what?

Ooh! Ow!

I can't work like this!

Yaaaaaa... ooh!

Uh, Timon?

Who knew we had to actually
pay for all that stuff we signed for?

I wanted a big Broadway musical.

And now what are we? A
couple of specks of nothing.

Maybe we would have done better
if we had worked with each other.

Maybe. But my show.

The dancers were beautiful,
the costumes were beautiful,

even I was beautiful.

That sure is a shame, Timon.
But at least we learned one thing.

And that would be?

A Broadway musical
starring a warthog

can do just as well as
a show with meerkats.

Oh!