03x33 - The Spy's the Limit/Ready, Aim, Fire

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Ha ha! This is it, Pumbaa!

Monte Carlo... the hakuna
matata of the rich and famous.

Does that mean we have to
be rich and famous to get inside?

A dress code, s'il vous plait!

Oof!

Ooh! Ow! Uhh!

No habla "dress code."

Haii-yaa!

Huh!

Need a lift?

He's going up in the world.

Pumbaa, I think he's one of
those cool international spy guys.

Is it because he has a jet pack
and beat up those ninjas without

wrinkling his tuxedo?

No. It's because he
says the best one-liners

after he clobbers somebody.

Oh, Mr. Spy? Yoo-hoo!
You forgot your briefcase!

Ohh... dear.

Oof!

Uh-oh. Timon... he's out cold.

Uh-huh. Ooh! Look at all the
nifty gadgets and a to-do list!

The least we can do is finish
running this guy's errands for him.

Now, let's see here.

Ooh... "fighting ninjas,
play cards, save the world."

Ha! Sounds like
fun, huh, Pumbaa?

Timon, being a secret
agent is serious business,

not to mention very,
very dangerous.

Nonsense. It's
very hakuna matata.

A carefree life on the
edge, unplanned danger

everywhere, every
move a potential risk.

What kind of hakuna
matata is that, Timon?

And you'll help me, Pumbaa. From
now on, your code name is "p.U."

Your job is to hold onto these
secret gadgets until I need them.

Why would we need these?

♪ This spy's the limit ♪

♪ don't know just
why he's in it ♪

♪ with his pig
friend, the dimwit ♪

♪ they can't save themselves ♪

♪ let alone the wo-o-o-orld ♪

Timon, what is this?

My title sequence. Now, shhh!

♪ No, not the world ♪

♪ they can't save the world ♪

Whoaaaaa!

Don't you recognize a world
famous spy when you see one?

Spy? Hah!

If you are the spy, where
is the beautiful woman,

who is always at your side?

My apologies,
monsieur. Mademoiselle.

P.u.

Pen.

Careful with that pen, Timon,

'cause if you click it...

Please, no autographs.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am count down. And you?

The name's mone. Ti... mone.

Look, Timon, that guy
wears the same emblem

those ninjas were wearing.

You might be right, p.U.

So, first, we'll
beat him at cards.

Then we'll stop his diabolical
plan to conquer the world.

So, what is your game, Mr. Mone?

The game's fish. Go fish.

You're first, count.

You lose, Mr. Mone.

Another game, perhaps?

We could wager a dance with
your exquisitely beautiful friend.

Not so fast, count.

Credit cards are just
as good as money.

Wait, Timon. Don't press the...

Ante up, boys.

Perhaps another time.

Timon, I don't think we're too
good at this secret agent stuff.

Maybe you're not
spy material, but I am!

Now, come on, p.U.!

Count down's gettin' away.

Quick, p.U., my spy car!

Now, Timon, be careful.

Don't worry. One of these
switches has to make this baby go.

Eh, maybe it's this one.

Timon!

Okay. Eh, how about this one?

Self-destruct initiated.

Three, two, one.

- Aaaah!
- Aaaah!

Timon, the count is headed
for his... Secret headquarters.

How could you
possibly know that?

Timon, how are we gonna get out
of this place without being caught?

What we need are disguises.

That must be the
secret control room.

And this must be
the exit to safety.

Not now, Pumbaa.
I'm saving the world.

Are you, Mr. Mone?

Well, I think not, and my
ninjas tend to agree with me.

I think we should
get outta here.

Come on, p.U. There's
only three of them.

Haii-ya!

Haii-ya!

Huhh!

Be careful opening
the briefcaaaaase!

I will!

You are quite
persistent, Mr. Mone.

And you're quite evil, count down.
Surrender, or meet your doom.

I'll take my chances with doom.

Well, I'm sure I've got your
doom in here somewhere.

Briefcase
self-destruct initiated.

- Oops.
- Three,

two, one.

Alright, count down, you got me.

What's your plan?

Oh, my plan?

Oh, I have no time to tell
you about this big red button...

Which will fire
my giant ray g*n!

You see, I'm far too busy

to explain that my giant
ray g*n is aimed directly at...

The sun!

And I will not spare
the precious seconds

to tell you that once
the sun is destroyed,

everyone in the
world will have to buy...

My electric heaters!

It's almost a shame you
won't be around to buy one.

Almost.

Ooooooh!

I love electric heaters!

I just melt whenever
I'm around one.

You know, my heaters
come satisfaction guaranteed.

Ooh, tempting.

Free me, p.U.! I've gotta knock
this count down for the count.

I think not.

Pity.

We had so much in common.

Well, I guess you'll use some sort
of fancy device to k*ll us now, huh?

What'll it be, count?
Poison spiders?

Hungry sharks?

Mmm... I think... I'm
just going to sh**t you.

- Yee!
- Yike!

Hee hee! And... aren't you at
least going to leave the room

at this critical moment
so we can escape?

No. I like to watch.

Good-bye, Mr. Mone.

I told you it was a bad idea for us
to get involved in spy stuff, Timon!

Okay, you're right.

- Ten, nine, eight...
- I had no business trying to be a spy.

- Seven, six...
- There, I said it. Happy?

- Five, four...
- As a matter of fact,

- three, two...
- Yes, I am.

One...

This countdown is over.

Pow! Right in the kisser.

Mmm-wahh!

Count down's getting away.

Oof! D-aah!

Well, Mr. Down, looks like
the sun will come out tomorrow.

Curses.

Guess you didn't
need our help after all.

Actually, I couldn't have
done it without you, old chap.

You see, I only pretended
to be knocked out.

That way, you two could
distract count down while I...

Sabotaged his h.Q.

Maybe you were right, Timon.

Even though you didn't know what
you were doing, you tried anyway.

Told you I was spy material.

Firing sequence initiated.

- Five, four...
- I'm getting real sick

- three, two...
- Of these countdowns.

One...

Then again, Timon, it couldn't have
hurt to actually know what you're doing.

That's the last time I let
you choose a vacation spot.

I wanted to go to bora-bora.
Lush, tropical beaches.

Lush, tropical women.

But oh, no! The warthog wanted
to go ice fishing in the arctic circle!

Brrr! Sheesh!

Oh, I'm so cold, I could...

I could sit by a
nice, hot, roaring fire!

Ahh...

Now, this is the ticket.

Excuse me. Is this your fire?

Oh, no. We just found it.

Yes, it's ours! Get your own!

Hmm... your fire, eh?

Well, I'm smolder the bear,

and I make sure
there's no forest fires.

You see, forest fires are baaad!

People who start
forest fires are baaad!

I eat people who
start forest fires.

Eat them?

Tell 'em, Joey and Susie.

We played with fire.

And, boy, we learned our lesson.

You have a door in your stomach?

Well, Mr. Smolder, we certainly
don't want to start a forest fire.

That's better.

And don't let me catch
you playing with fire again...

Or else...

Well, we learned
something today, Timon.

Playing with fire is bad.

Never mind the fire.

That bear has a
door in his stomach!

Sacre bleu!

My fire! What have
you done with her?

Why, we put it out.

Fires are bad.

Come on, Pumbaa,
let's get out of... aak!

You two pudding heads will
get me my fire back, or else!

But where are we gonna find fire,
here in the forest, at this time of day?

I had to ask.

Timon, we should just
forget this whole thing.

The bear said that bringing fire
into the forest is against the rules.

I don't like it any more
than you do, Pumbaa,

but if we don't bring back
fire, frenchy will k*ll us.

Now come on.

Timon, I'm getting a
very bad feeling about this.

Relax already, Pumbaa.

Aaah!

Uh-huh.

What's that you're carrying?

Oh, this? A flaming
torch, wouldn't you know.

But, uh, we've got a
good reason for having it.

There is no good reason
for bringing fire into my forest!

But please... heh heh...

Amuse me with your reason.

Actually, it's for
someone else...

Okay, okay. You
caught us. The fire is for...

Well, it's for to, uh...

To walk on hot coals!

Eh, you see, we walk on fire.

Yeah! For meditative purposes.

You see, we're, uh...

We're swamis! Isn't that
right, alu gobi Pumbaa?

Er, right... tandoori Timon.

Hmm...

My uncle was a swami.

I always wanted to see that.

Lemme see you do
it... walk on fire, that is.

- Oy.
- Ohhh...

That was very relaxing,
was it not, alu gobi Pumbaa?

Oh, yes.

Quite a peaceful
experience, tandoori Timon.

Hmm. Impressive!

But I'm telling you,

there's still no reason good
enough to bring fire into my forest!

And if I catch you two
anywhere near fire...

Down the hatch with ya both.

Alu gobi Pumbaa, that was possibly
the stupidest thing we've ever done.

Yes, tandoori Timon, I agree.

- Yaaaah!
- Yeeoww!

- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Ooh! Ooh! D-oww!

- Aaaaaah!
- Whooochie!

Mama Mia!

Le hey!

You there, you promised
me fire, and it is where?

Oh, you know, it's funny.

We... we just had it, but we
dropped it here somewhere,

and we're, uh...
we're looking for it.

Phew!

Well, find more now! Waiting
makes me tres angry, hey?

Take off, you hosers!

Convenient.

Pumbaa, we're stuck between a
pyromaniac and pyrochondriac.

What do we do?

I don't know what
those things are, Timon,

but I've got an idea.

Timon, you get to be the
fake fire to distract the bear,

while I take the real fire
to the crazy lumberjack.

Now, there's a sentence
you don't hear every day.

Shh. Here he
comes. Act like fire.

You've got to be kiddin'.

And lo!

I am the mischievous
and toasty spirit of fire!

Hee hee hee!

I bring warmth and light to all!

Aww! Ain't that sweet?

But there's only one
thing I do with fire.

Yaah! Yaah! Aaaaah!

Whooooo!

Well, that's it.
I'm gonna eat ya.

Waaaah! Aaaah! I'm
on fire! I gotta put it...!

Hey...

This isn't fire.

You come back here!

I'm not seeing le fire.

You have a story
about where my fire is?

Uh-huh. Oh! Yeah, yeah!

Oh, you're gonna get a
huge kick out of this story.

You were wrong, Timon.

We were the ones who got
a big kick out of that story.

Well, here we go again.

Le well?

Look, ya crazy mook, we
can't get your stupid fire!

There's a bear,
see? And he... what?

Smells like you have fire, no?

Hmm, you smell quite good.

I wager you taste better
than this silly fish, eh?

Out of the frying pan...

And right back into the fire.

- Eh, Pumbaa?
- Yup. Say, Timon,

why didn't you let me
tell the bear the truth?

Pumbaa... sometimes
it's just... Easier to lie.

I see.

Wait! Don't eat us!

We had a good
reason for the fire.

He made us do it.

Yeah! He was gonna hit
us with that big sharp thing!

Hmm... well...

Looks like you two fellas
aren't so bad after all.

Hmm-mm.

Huh?

Now, as for the real
firebug... Le gulp.

Hey, Timon, guess it all
turned out okay in the end, huh?

For us, anyway.

So, what are you in for?