03x11 - Mutantcy on the Bouncy

[bunniefuu]

♪ Daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some
villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪



♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ A cloud of smoke
and he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that
cunning mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ When there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch
out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

Gosalyn, this was a bad idea.

Just keep your
money in a piggy bank.

Piggy banks don't
compound interest daily.

We'll never get to the front.

Oh, dad, relax.

Building financial
security takes time.

[Hammering]

I am the screeching fingernail

on the chalkboard of justice,

the sour ball in the
candy jar of goodness.

I am negaduck!

This is the first portable
particle accelerator,

which I, negaduck, stole.

What an ego.

Ever seen anything like it?

He doesn't realize

he's in the hands
of darkwing duck.

This accelerator speeds
up the molecules in the safe,

allowing me to walk in
between and nab the loot!

Or blow up the entire city.

Whatever. It'll be a blast.

I'm the terror that
flaps in the night,

the heimlich maneuver
for crime's choking victims.

Well, choke on this, do-gooder.

I'm a touch too fast, negadope.

Maybe so, but not
for my accelerator.

Darkwing!

How I hate banking
with buffoons.

Are you o.K.?

Never better.

You could've got us k*lled!

You'd prefer I did nothing?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

That mob was ready

to feed me to the
automated teller.

Where is gosalyn?

Outside playing ball.

How can she play
baseball at dinnertime?

Oh!

That branch is
weak. You might...

Gosalyn!

Dad, where did you come from?

I just stepped out...
The front door?

That was quick thinking.

Yeah, dad. You got
here superfast!

It must have been
the excitement.

Gosalyn, look. What your dad
did was physically impossible.

Let's see. Impossible, eh?

Adrenaline couldn't
make you move that fast.

Negaduck's accelerator!

Then you are superfast!

You mean I actually
have a superpower?

See that? I'm superfast.

I'm the monarch
of motion. I'm...

[Sniffing]

Yike!

What happened?

Friction. At superspeed,

even the air is a problem.

A minor setback.

With my new superpower,

I'll thwart negaduck easily.

Dipping dad's costume in non-stick
coating is was a great idea.

It's fine. No time to lose!

Better get a scooter!

Nothing on the road
can pass this baby.

I don't know.

It seems a little
sluggish to me!

At this speed, catching
negaduck will be a snap.

I've run out of
road. No problem.

Thought I wouldn't
stop in time, right?

You've been working on
this building for weeks.

I'll finish while you're
on a coffee break.

Now that's how it's done.

You should sue your architect.

No sign of negaduck.

He'll learn there's no hiding

from the sultan of speed.

I haven't checked this bank.

[Alarm rings]

Aah!

Was it negaduck?

Which way did he go?

He's getting away!

Surrender, you scoundrel!

You can't do that.

Your accelerator
backfired, negaduck.

You gave me superspeed!

You got a superpower from me?

That's not fair!

That's... I mean,
it's part of my plan.

I meant to do that.

It clears my sinuses.

He may run fast,

but his thinking's still slow.

Where's that negaduck?

Up here, dimwit.

This store features
imported crystal.

Very expensive.

I'm too fast for you, negaduck.

You lose, negaduck.

I'll can catch
anything you... throw.

This place has a great
hardware department, too.

Dad! Dad!

It's what we thought.

What are you saying?

Tell him, honk.

My research indicates
a major side effect.

To your superspeed.

You're getting old!

Moving at superspeed

causes you to age at
an accelerated rate.

Why, that's ridiculous.

I've never felt
better in my life.

That's utterly impossible.

[Alarm rings]

Hear that? Negaduck
has struck again.

He won't get away.

Good thing I got an
extra large glove box.

Halt! You can't outrun... the
ace of... acceleration, negaduck.

Is this a joke, gramps?

Step aside.

Wait... is that you?

Ye... hoo hoo, boy!

Why, look at you.

You're ancient. You're a fossil.

Just a creaking mass of
bones and hardened arteries.

Hold still, you whippersnapper.

I planned this.

St. canard will be mine!

D.w.! D.W.!

Enjoy your golden years, gramps.

I know I will.

Keep still or you'll end up...

Just a pile of dust and bones.

He hasn't moved.

If he moves, he'll age faster.

If he stays there, he
might as well be petrified.

I can't move. I'll
get more decrepit.

He's got a good point.

You see? I'm staying put.

It's for you, d.W.

Negaduck left it
at his last robbery.

I wonder what's inside?

"To darkwing duck,
my oldest enemy.

And I do mean oldest. Ha ha ha."

That's not funny.

A rocking chair.
Isn't that nice?

It is not! It's an insult.

Darkwing duck's not going to
sit around in a rocking chair,

is he?

Slow down, sir.

Even high-speed
rocking will age you.

Remember when I was an
active young crimefighter?

Seems like just yesterday.

It was just yesterday!
Dad, you can't give in!

I have no choice,
gosalyn. I'll knit an Afghan.

Good idea. D.W.

You don't want those tired
old bones to catch a chill.

At this rate, there'll
be nothing left of me

but dustbuster bait.

There has to be a
way to keep dad going

till we find a cure.

I thought we had
to keep him still.

Dad, tell us how
you'd catch negaduck.

What's the point? I think
I'll just watch some TV.

Negaduck's crime wave has
terrorized the entire city.

Negaduck has robbed the first
through ninth national banks.

Negaduck is now robbing
the tenth national bank.

Let's go to our live minicam.

You'd better cower, or
feel the wrath of negaduck.

Negaduck, Tom lockjaw here.

What can you say to
the people of St. canard?

Now that darkwing
duck has retired,

I make the rules for St. canard!

What's the penalty for
breaking those rules?

You don't want to find out.

Now a word from our sponsor.

Uh, roll the commercial, please.

I'm your sponsor now.

Any objections?

No, none at all.

Citizens, with the exclusive
negaduck protection plan,

you're guaranteed
to be safe and sound.

To join, just send me...
Negaduck... all your money,

and I'll send you
this cheap lapel pin.

If you don't join,
nobody can save you,

especially not that
doddering old darkwing duck.

Get it?

See that? You've
got to stop him!

Sorry, gos, find
somebody younger.

The old back is playing my song.

Honker, have you made any
progress on helping dad?

I'm 9 years old.

Molecular biology's
over my head.

Let's get the thing
that made dad fast.

Well, I guess
particle "b" physics

is more my speed.

Hey, kids, how about a
smokin' game of old maid?

Uh, no, thanks, pop.

We'll let him rest.
I've got a plan.

So, what's the plan?

We find negaduck, then
grab the accelerator.

You thought of that?

How will we find
negaduck's hideout?

You can't expect him to
have a big sign in front.

Excuse me. What's this line for?

We're paying Mr. Negaduck
his protection money.

Yuh!

Got it! Come on!

Come on, honk.

I wonder what
the heck that's for.

I'll be happy to show you.

Don't let this happen to you.

If these pesky thieves had
the negaduck protection plan,

they wouldn't be
trapped as you see,

ready to be
accelerated into old age.

Don't listen to him, dad!

Face it, kid, you're toast.

[Negaduck] Ha ha
ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[Test pattern sound]

Help!

Dad!

Relax. Who's going to save you?

Not that relic, darkwing duck.

He's a fossil.

[Creaking]

There's got to be a way out.

It's a well-made cage.

Don't worry, honk-man.

When d.W. Comes, he'll...

He won't come. He's given up!

[Creaking]

Did you hear that?

That door didn't creak before.

[Launchpad] Then it must be...

Dad! I knew you'd come!

Even at my age, darkwing
duck has what it takes

to defeat negaduck.

[Negaduck] Is that right?

Welcome, o ancient one.

Can I get you anything?

Strained prunes?
Denture adhesive?

Seeing you behind bars will
be more than enough, negaduck.

Get him, darkwing.

[Muttering]

Now I've gotta go to
the corner drugstore

to get a new roll of film.

When I return, I'll
capture for all time

the fabulous image
of darkwing duck

decomposing into dust!

How much older can darkwing get?

Isn't there some way
to reverse the process?

You mean like going backwards?

Einstein advanced a
controversial theory

of walking backwards
to regain lost youth.

Why didn't you tell
us that earlier?

Einstein said it
during his later years

when he wore
wristwatches on both ankles

and claimed Abe
Lincoln was a martian.

Dad, go backwards!

Get up, darkwing!

I think it's working!

He needs to go over
everything he did

to reach his right age.

Wait for us!

I have no time to wait.

It's working.

Looks like I went too far back.

I stole enough film

to make a library out of
decomposed darkwing glossies.

What's the hurry, evildoer?

You?

But you're...
You're young again!

I take care of myself
and eat properly.

Not for long.

Give up, negaduck.

I'm a young mountain
of strength.

You mean you're
an old pile of dust.

[Gosalyn] Oh, no!
He's aging really fast!

Ooh!

[Darkwing] Your concern
for me is touching.

You're alive!

And you're not
moving at superspeed.

I don't get it.

I knew negaduck would
try to zap me again,

so when I was hit,

my thinking was sped up, too.

First, I ran backwards
to reduce my age.

I enrolled in the university,

majoring in molecular biology.

I made a breakthrough

in accelerated molecular theory.

I delivered a paper
in Switzerland

and concocted a
superspeed antidote.

After graduation, I
got the bag of dust

that I dropped back here,

thereby tricking negaduck.

Then I swallowed the antidote.

But what about negaduck?

I forgot all about him!

Here. Drink this.

Why, you... rotten...
[Voice slows down]

Don't worry, gosalyn.

I don't think Mr. Negaduck
is going anywhere.

Whoa! He's frozen!

One of my experiments

led me to discover a
slow-motion potion.

What will you do
with him now, dad?

Hmm... a little
more to the left, l.P.

It's good to know that
even someone like negaduck

has his fans.