01x05 - Shredder & Splintered

[bunniefuu]

♪ Teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪

♪ they're the world's
most fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ and they're green ♪

Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil shredder
attacks ♪

♪ these turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads,
donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool
but rude ♪

Gimme a break!

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪




NEWSCASTER:
The city is still reeling

from the bizarre events
of the past few days.

At each event,

4 mysterious creatures
were sighted

who, according to witnesses,
looked like...

Turtles. Green,
smelly turtles.

Turtles, and my men
have orders

to blow them
out of the sky.

Who are these
mystery turtles?

Could they be aliens
from another planet?

Happy hour news
will bring you

'round-the-clock bulletins
on the green menace.

What a bunch
of airheads, man.

That should've
been my story.

You're gonna get
your story, April...

Now.

Master splinter,

we can wait
no longer.

We must put
the shredder away.

I agree, Leonardo.

The time has come
for the final battle

with my old enemy.

And April's gonna have
to tell the world about us

just to keep those
lame-brained humans

from trying to stop us.

I'll get a news crew
together,

even if I have to tie 'em up
and brand 'em.

Here. Take this.

It's a turtle
communicator,

so you can find us when
you've got your crew.

We all carry them now.

Oh, April,
take the turtle van.

We'll use that vehicle

the neutrinos
left behind.

I'm on it.

[LOUD BLARING]

Greetings, turtles.

The shredder!

Since when did he get
his own daytime talk show?

Observe what I have
in my hands--

it is a retro mutagen
ray generator,

a device which
undoes mutations.

[SHRIEKS]

This is the only thing
that can restore splinter

to the form
of hamato yoshi.

If you want it,
come get it.

You bet we will!

I alone must get
that retro mutagen device

away from the shredder.

The ray could restore me
to my human form.

But what if the shredder
used it on you?

We'd be changed back
into...

[GULP]
Ordinary turtles.

Bebop! Rock steady!

Grrr.

The turtles are heading
this way.

Find them
and destroy them.

Cowabunga!

Ow!

Now we're cooking
with gas!

Yeah-ha-ha!

[ENGINE DIES]

Oh, what now?

Who bought this
piece of junk?

Well, that was
a short trip.

Looks like
we're out of fuel.

What sort of juice
does this crate take?

Uh, plutonium,
I think.

Oh, terrific. Maybe
we can get it towed

to the nearest
plutonium station.

So let's just hotfoot it
over to the technodrome.

Are you kiddin'?

We need the weapons
on this thing.

I saw something
at Baxter's workshop.

It'd need
a little work,

but I bet
it would do the job.

I'll meet you
at the technodrome.

There goes
a good turtle.

[ROARS]

Well, well, well.

Lookie
what we found.

[SNORTS] We got
a score to settle

with you little twerps.

[GRUNTING]

Aww, did I hurt youse?

This'll make it better.

We don't like rats
in our fair city.

[SNORTS]

Maybe I should just
ring your stinkin' neck.

Hyah! Not so fast,
homeboy.

[SNORTING]

Drink blazin'
electric death, turtles.

Oh, the boy
likes his work.

I think they're
starting to tire.

Oh, great.
In a few more hours,

they'll barely be able
to throw a car at us.

So, like, why don't we
throw some trucks at them?

One fricasseed turtle...

[SNORTS]
Comin' up.

Ha ha! You jerks
just got trashed.

Hey! Whoa!

Blecch!

Those shellheads
are dead!

Sorry, boys.
We gotta build

a parking lot
where you're playin'.

You little creeps!

Come back and fight!

Aha!

There we go.

KRANG: Shredder,

why haven't you
completed my new body?

Ah, but I have.

Excellent.
I want you to add to it

this molecular
amplification unit.

But why?

Saki, you fool,

don't waste time.

Your forces
are depleted.

The turtles
are on their way.

Install the chip now.

All right.
I'll do it.

You may feel
some disorientation

when you revive
in your new body.

It's alive.

It's alive!

Up we go.

Turtle alert.
Turtle alert.

No, it's too soon.

Krang hasn't come
to his senses.

Foot soldiers,
stop the turtles!

Oh,
just what we needed.

k*ll-crazed
foot soldier bikers.

I'll try to get
the retro mutagen ray

away from the shredder.

Let's break some foots.

Go, green machine!

Hey, guys.
How's it going?

We're a little busy
right now, donatello.

Ok, I'll call back later.

Do that.

Uhh! Out of
my face, jerk!

Hey, maybe some raw sewage
would do the trick.

Leonardo, blade time.

Hyah!

Cowabunga!

I'd say
the foots slipped up.

So what do you say?

Tonight, a little dinner,
a little dancing...

I'll call you back.

What are you
doing here, April?

I'm trying to get
a story for you!

Trying?


are running loose
in this town,

and you haven't brought me
diddly-squat!

They're on our side.
Listen,

I've been with them
for the past week.

You're in cahoots
with those things?

That does it, April.
You're fired!

Here.
Look at this.

What's that,
one of their weapons?

It's, uh...

It's a hyper-turtle
death ray.

Now, order me a news crew,

or I'll turn this whole
place into a flaming rubble!

Of course, April.

Anything you say.

Whew!

The things I have to do
to get a story.

Just me, Mr. Baxter.

I'm here
to clean up.

Uh, you couldn't
come back

a little later,
could you?

Oh, I won't get
in your way, dear.

My, what a mess!

Lady, will you
please leave?

Now, I won't be
any bother to you.

Let me put it this way--

scram!

Mr. Baxter, you've been
working too hard.

You look kinda green.

[GROANING]

What?

I'm in my new body.

[SCREAMS]

Let's see if the molecular
reconstruction circuit works.

Success!

I must contact
my loyal soldiers

in dimension x.

Master splinter's
out there alone, man.

Maybe we can keep
an eye on him.

Look!

How do you work this
oversized ghetto blaster?

Hey, it's that room

with the gateway
to dimension x.

Who's that weirdo?

I don't know,
but the guy in his stomach

looks like krang.

He's going to bring
his soldiers over

from dimension x.

That's what he thinks.
Come on!

Vern just called

rescinding this
order of yours.

He doesn't know
what the turtles are about.

They're trying to save us
from an alien invasion.

If you only had
some proof.

Here, look.

That's good
enough for me.

Stop them!

Let's go!

g*n it, April.

Oh, nuts!

So you've come
at last,

hamato yoshi.

Here I am.

But am I here...

Or here?
Ha ha ha ha ha!

I could be anywhere--

even right behind you.

A lucky shot, old man.

But if you want
the retro mutagen ray,

you must first
face my blades.

And I will beat you,

as I did
when I was human.

This is lord krang

calling general traag
in dimension x.

Are you there?

I am here, my lord.


stand ready, lord,

with more to come.

Excellent. Stand by
while I'll open the portal.

Then lead my men
into this world

to conquer it.

Not so fast, baldy.

You're gonna have
to conquer us first.

That should be
fairly easy.

The molecular amplification
circuit works.

This guy's gettin' too
big for his britches.

Now, wretched reptiles,

you will face
the wrath of krang!

Wasn't that the name
of a movie?

I don't believe
I saw it.

And I don't believe
I'm seeing this.

Holy guacamole!

Nothing can stop
the almighty krang.

Now, let's just hope
it works.

And away we go!

Where's Godzilla when
you really need him?

[HORNS HONK]

You pathetic old rat!

Why don't you stand
your ground and fight?

You have forgotten
the lessons

I taught you, saki.

You can never win.

Gentle always
turns away strong.

You wretched rodent!

Well, guys, it's been
great knowing you.

Huh?

What the heck?

Come on, guys!

Welcome aboard
the turtle blimp.

Does this thing
actually work?

Just watch.

Cowabunga!

This still ain't gonna stop
that king-sized creep.

We've gotta
shrink him down.

Oh, I know!

Let's wash him
in hot water.

Something in that body's
expanding his molecules.

We've gotta put it
out of commission.

Take the controls.

Wh-wh-what controls?!

What the heck's that?

His brain's
in his stomach.

Wait till vern gets
an eyeful of this.

Wait till the world
gets an eyeful of this.

Raphael, can't you
drive this thing?

No!

I can't either!

Yeah, I guessed that.

We'll just
have to improvise.

I'm getting some heavy,
heavy energy readings

from over there.

Hey, ha ha!

I'm starting to get
the hang of this.

Now let's eradicate
that creep, man.

Oops, we must be
in the shoulder joint.

Let's just hope
krang doesn't make

any sudden moves.

Aah!
Aah!

There it is.

Let's cut it out
of there.

You have corrupted
my teaching.

You have brought
dishonor

upon the noble
foot clan.

Now you will pay
for your crimes.

Now, turtles,

you're finished.

This is taking
too long.

We've got to shrink
this guy down...Now.

No-o-o-o-o!

We gotta
get out of here!

We'll be crushed.

Excuse us.

I am krang
the all-powerful.

I have never been
defeated.

Well, you never tangled
with a turtle before, pal.

ALL: Let's kick some shell!

Shredder, come quickly.

I need you.

So sorry
to bring our game

to an early
conclusion.

You wouldn't
have won anyway.

The retro mutagen ray--

he's going to use it
on the turtles.

[GRUNTS]

Uh-oh. It's that retro
muto thingamabob.

He's gonna use it
to turn us back

into ordinary turtles.

Well, g*ng,
looks like it's back

to the old pet shop
for us.

Far from it.
Tonight,

I dine on
turtle soup.

No!

Master splinter.

Climb on my back.

Mastery, that device
was your only hope

of being human again.

I had to destroy it
to save you.

What happened to krang
and the shredhead?

How much you wanna bet
they're gonna try

to open that
dimensional portal?

Come on.

Listen, if you can
get the shredder

away from that portal,

I think I can shut his
operation down for keeps.

General traag,
it is time.

We are coming,
my lord krang.

Not so fast,
chrome breath.

Stop those turtles.

Snap it up, donatello.

That's it.
Let's beat it.

The portal mechanism
has been reversed.

What's going on?

How did you do that,
donatello?

I reversed the flow
of the portal.

It pulled itself
into dimension x.

Rock, dudes!
We did it!

We won!

Yes, but master splinter
may never be human now.

Ah, well,
perhaps it is my karma

to live my life
as a rat.

The important thing
is that you are safe

and we are together.

I second that emotion.

What the devil
happened?

Where the devil
are we?

Dimension x?

No!

At last, I can conquer
my home dimension.

But I don't want
to conquer this place.

I want to conquer earth.

In dimension x,

I am absolute master.

You will do my bidding
from now on.

The shredder takes
orders from no one!

We shall see,
oroku saki.

The turtles turned out
to be the saviors of the city

as they fought off
an alien invasion.

Opinion about them remains
sharply divided, however.

Turtles are smelly
and disgusting.

I say hang
all four of them.

They're, like,
totally rad, man.

Yeah, I want
to be a turtle

when I grow up.

But who are they?

Where did they come from?

It's a complete mystery,

but I'll continue
to update the exploits

of these teenage
mutant ninja turtles.

April o'Neil,
happy hour news.

All right!
Now we can relax,

catch some
boob tube,

and forget about
all that weirdness

we just
went through.

For now. But I fear
we have not seen

the last of the shredder
or krang.

You're worrying
too much, master.

Yeah, I bet we'll never
even hear

so much as
a peep out of them again.

TV: Stay tuned
for tonight's

Sci-Fi chiller thriller
k*ller movie--

it's a real classic--

the evil brain
from dimension x.

Aw, take a hike, man.

See if we got
some cartoons.