06x06 - Return of the Turtleoid

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That's a fact, Jack.

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Gimme a break.

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This is April O'Neil

at the Top Notch
Scientific Corporation

talking with Dr. Winston
Sturdley

about his latest invention,

the Sonic Disintegrator.

Tell us how it works,
Doctor.

It uses ultra-high
frequency sound waves

to reduce solid metal
to powder.

Allow to me demonstrate.

I'll be darned.
I know know what--

Oh, dear-- Oh!

Uh-huh.
This is April O'Neil

for Channel 6 News,
signing off.

A sonic disintegrator?

What would anyone
do with that?

What a dweeb.

Building a gizmo
that just destroys stuff.

Oops.

I've got a feeling

that we better head over
to Top Notch Scientific

and keep on eye
on that invention.

What for?

Well, every time
April does a report

about some new
scientific breakthrough,

Shredder sees it, too,
and shows up to steal it.

You know, Raphael's right.

There is something
of a pattern there.

And that Sonic Disintegrator
is just the sort of thing

they could put
to some terrible use.

Come on!

Well, this is
a laugh and a half.

All-in-all, dudes, I'd rather
be home in a cool sewer

with a warm pizza.

Do you think
we over-reacted
this time?

I don't think so.

Listen.

[doorknob rattling]

This is it. It's them.

Big Louie and his g*ng?

Swell. We're here at the right
time but it's the wrong guys.

The Turtles.

Nail 'em, boys.

I gotta tell ya, I think I
would've preferred Shredder.

You doity toitles, it's
coitains for you, see?

Wow, this guy's been
watching way too many
'30s gangster movies.

Let's get those goofazoids!

I'll take that.

Hey!

Can I quote you on that?

My turn!

Ha! Works every time.

But you never
tried that before.

Well, so? Every time
I've tried it, it's worked.

Whoa!

Uh-huh. That's what you
get for showing off.

Well, don't just stand
there, help me!

Nice to be needed.

Uh, excuse me?

Hi. Don't you think it's
time you cracked a few books?

Hey, where's Big Louie?

That big chicken. He split.

Those rotten shellbacks.

They'll pay for this.

All right you losers. What does
a crook like Big Louie want

with a sonic disintegrator?

Why should we tell you?

I can give you
three good reasons.

Hey! In that case,

he wanted to use it to
disintegrate the doors
on the bank vaults.

Uh, yeah. He said
we'd go on a bank
robbing spree,

and nothing could stop us.

Except the boys in green.

[distant police siren]
Uh-oh.

Here come the boys in blue.

Come on, let's split.

The police can handle
these jokers.

[crowd murmuring]

[crowd noises]

[screaming]

[robotic voice]
Possible target site located.

Negative contact.
Proceeding to next target.

I guess we showed those crooks.

For sure.
I say we've earned some
well-deserved goof-off time.

Not so fast, Michelangelo.

My intuition tells me Krang
and Shredder are behind this.

Let us hope you are
incorrect, Leonardo.

Hold on, it's April.

We interrupt for
a special report.

A short while ago
on this spot,

a strange-looking machine
appeared from the sky,

terrorizing the city
and causing mass hysteria.

So far, the only damage it's
done has been to the entryways
of office buildings.

Looks like we're hitting
the bricks again, dudes.

I'm telling you, something this
weird doesn't happen without

Krang and Shredder
being involved.

From the looks of it,
I'd say this thing came
from outer space.

Not the bottom of the ocean.

Whatever this thing is,
it's totally mechanical.

It came here packed
like a pickle.

Excuse me.

Not now, Michelangelo.

The question is, why is this,
this thing, so interested in
business buildings?

Maybe it's looking
for office space.

Excuse me.

Not now, Donatello.

Look. A mini-m*ssile.

What did I tell ya?

That has to be Krang
and Shredder.

Oh, will you knock
it off already?

They're not even
in this episode.

Excuse me.

Later, Raphael.

Ah, this is getting boring.

Check it out.
Gold!

Did I say boring?
Heh-heh. Erase that.

This is absolutely fascinating.

Excuse me.

Not now!

But I believe
that is mine.

Kerma!
Whoa!

Our little amigo from
the planet Shel-ra-la.

That sheet of gold is yours?

Yes. As you know,
we turtleoids need

gold's reflected
light for energy.

Ahh, that is most refreshing.

Good thing you found
that gold sheet.

Oh, no problem.
I could easily have made another
with my miniature gold machine.

I must have dropped
this one when I was looking
for your earlier.

I've been seeking you out
to ask for your help.

You see, I have
a small problem.

Come. We can talk about
it in my space ship.

Hey, that's right.
I nearly forgot.

Your space ship looks just like
one of our office buildings.

Way cool!

We can talk inside.

Kerma, I hate
to remind you pal,

but the last time you
had a small problem,

it turned out to be a


with two heads, named
Herman the Horrible.

Yeah, I still carry a picture
of him in my wallet.

I assure you, my problem
is not as large this time.

Target in sight.

Target achieved.

Destroy.
Destroy.

That's your small problem?

I'm afraid so.

I'd hate to be around
when you had a big one.

Destroy.
Destroy.

Kerma, you really should try to
pick a better class of friends.

Believe me, Raphael,
Destructor X is no friend.

Enough talk, let's take him!

Whoa! Shish-kabob city!

So that's why it's been blasting
its way into buildings.

It's been looking for
Kerma's space ship.

Terrific.
Now how about figuring out
some way to stop it?

Target locked on.
Destroy.

This place can definitely
be hazardous to your health.

Kerma, aren't there
any weapons on this ship?

I'm afraid not.
We turtleoids are
a peaceful race.

Don't you remember what
happened on Shel-ra-la?

Yeah, these turtleoid dudes

don't have anything to protect
them but their shells.

That is why I came
to you for help.

Remind us to ask you
for a favor some time.

Whoa! I think
I found something.

Eat blazing electrons!

Bummer.

It's only a flashlight.

Aargh!

Well, whaddya know?
It worked.

Bright lights must interfere
with its sensor functions.

Kerma, is there a back
way out of this ship?

Yes, this way.

Then let's go.

Keep moving. That thing is
sure to be following us.

Okay, we know it has one
weakness, bright lights.

Now to get someplace safe
until we come up with a way

to defeat
that walking arsenal.

Hey dudes, what about Channel 6?

They've got mondo bright
lights in the studios.

Lights. What a bright idea.

Hey! I made a funny.

Hi, Vernon.

Nice night, huh?
Huh?

I could swear I saw five
of those green weirdoes

instead
of the usual four.

Must be all that overtime
I've been putting in.

Whoa, those stinkin' turtles.

Not only do they keep me
from stealing that sonic
disintegrator,

but they get two of my best
g*ons tossed in the slammer.

So help me, I'll make those
amphibians pay, but good.

Uh, technically, they're
not amphibians, boss,
they're reptiles.

Who asked ya?

Hold on, it's one of them
mugs from Channel 6 who are
in tight with them toitles.

What's the meaning of this?

We pedestrians have
the right-of-way.

But I'd be happy to vote
to have that law changed.

Just don't hurt me, please.

I'm looking for them
four slimy turtles.

You know where they are?

Uh, actually,

it may be five slimy turtles.

Never mind the
arithmetic lesson,

where are they?

Th-they're at Channel 6.

I just saw them go in.

Kerma, are you saying that thing
that's been terrorizing

this city is actually
after you?

Yes, it is called Destructor X.

A law enforcement drone
designed to track down

the galaxy's most
vicious criminals.

Since when is a piece
of a little guy like you

a vicious criminal?

Destructor X was
programmed to go after

a notorious space
pirate named Nurma.

But due to an electronic error,

it came out "Kerma."

You mean that thing
is out to blow you away

because of a glitch?

Apparently so.

Another triumph for science.

[loud crashing noise]

Uh-oh. Here it
comes again, dudes.

All right toitles,
say your prayers.

Oh, not again.

Well, at least it's not
Shredder and his mutants.

Yeah, this should
be a light workout.

Uh-oh. More like
the main event, dudes.

April, hit the lights.

All right!

What's that thing?

Who cares? I'm after
those toitles!

Okay, boss.
That's one of them.

Hey, what's this?

Gold!

Where did you get this, turtle?

I, uh, uh, I made it myself

with my portable gold machine.

Gold machine?

Forget the turtle,

this thing's worth
it's weight in...in...
uh...

gold?

Just the word I was looking for.

Come on, boys, let's scram.

Destroy! Destroy!

Man, is there any part
of that thing's body
that isn't a weapon?

Apparently not.

Guys, at this rate,

we're going to run out of
lights in about one minute.

Anybody come up
with a plan yet?

Yeah. Let's run for it.

You too, Kerma.

Wait! There's
a small problem.

So, would someone explain
why Big Louie

was breaking
into Channel 6?

Earlier tonight,
we stopped him from stealing
that sonic disintegrator.

That's it! The sonic
disintegrator.

It's the one thing that might
stop that metal maniac.

My friend,

I'm afraid there
is a little problem.

Oh, Kerma, not again.

Look, is this
a "little" little problem,
or a "big" little problem?

That nasty person
took my gold machine.

And I'm too weak to go on.

I'd call that a
humongous problem.

We're going to have to get
Kerma to someplace safe.
[beep]

[beep]
Master Splinter.

What is it, Leonardo?
We need your help.

Meet us at April's apartment,
and please hurry.

Kerma, you better lie down.

You're going to have
to guard him, master.

In case that Destructor X
shows up again.

I will do my best.

Donatello, you and
Michelangelo head over

to Top Notch Scientific

and get that
sonic disintegrator.

Raphael and I will
take care of Big Louie.

Go green machine!

That'll be
five dollars, gents.

Here you go, pal.
Keep the change.

Those are Big Louie's
men inside.

We can follow them
to his hideout.

And Kerma's gold machine.

I'm afraid
he's growing weaker.

I have locked all
the stairway doors.

That is all we can do for now.
[crashing sound]

Uh-oh.

Company.

Those locked doors aren't going
to slow that thing down.

We must get Kerma out of here.

Quickly.

Hurry, April.

Come, April. We must do
something to defend ourselves.

Defend ourselves?
How?

Donatello told me about
its one weak spot.

Its eyes.

I have a plan.

Visual field nullified.

Puree Marble Company.

So that's Big Louie's hideout.

Funny, I thought that guy
lost his marbles years ago.

Come on.

Aww, what's wrong with this
stupid gold machine?

I shoulda made that turtle
tell us how it works

before we grabbed it.

I'll get their attention.

You cover me.

Cover you? With what?

With these.

Come on, already.

I wanna be rich beyond
the wildest dreams of avarice.

Aw, gee, boss.
What a pretty phrase.

What's it mean?

I dunno, I heard it
in a movie once.

Don't worry, Big Louie.

You'll have plenty of
time to look it up.

In the prison library.

It's one of them Turtles.

Grab him, boys.

Here guys.
Catch!

All right, let's go.

They got the gold machine.

My dreams of untold
riches have vanished.

Mondo bizarro.

We keep this gizmo
from being stolen

just so we can
steal it ourselves?

We're not stealing it,
Michelangelo.

We're just borrowing it.

Besides, it's for a good cause.

Thanks to that paint,
it can't see us.

Why don't we make
a break for it?

We must stay
and distract it.

It will soon find
Kerma on the roof.

Uh-oh.

Look!

Oh! Now what?

Desperate times call for
desperate measures.

Visibility once again impeded.

Oh, quick thinking,
Splinter.

Hurry, April.
To the roof.

It found us.

I'll handle it.

Can...not...see.

Error. Target not present.

Target located.

No! No, it's spotted him.

No!
Stop!

Commencing
destruction sequence.

Not so fast, you chromium creep!

Try this on for size.

Poor guy.
He's all shook up.

We got the gold machine back,
so Kerma should be okay.

[Yawn]

Oh, sorry.
I must've dozed off.

Have I missed anything exciting?

Oh, nothing much.

We'll tell you
about it sometime.

Are you sure you can get
back to Shel-ra-la with
this hole in your ship?

Oh, yes. I'll just seal off
this level and navigate

from the upper control room.

My friends, how can
I ever thank you

for all you've done
for me?

Well, it's nothing we wouldn't
do for any fellow turtle, dude.

But from now on,

try to make sure your little
problems really are little.

Yeah, like maybe even
teensy-weensy micro problems.

Farewell, my friends.

Whoa, for a peaceful little
turtle that Kerma sure gets
into a lot of trouble.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, we're turtles, too,

and things like that
never happen to us.
[alarm bell]

[alarm bell continues]
Look! A break-in.

Let's get 'em.

Stop, thieves!

Cowabunga!

Freeze, you nerd ba*ls!

Turtle power!