07x11 - Turtles on the Orient Express

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power! ♪

♪ They're the world's
Most fearsome fighting team ♪

LEONARDO:
We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
In the half-shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

RAPHAEL:
Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil Shredder
Attacks ♪

♪ These Turtle boys
Don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them to be
Ninja teens ♪

LEONARDO:
He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads
Donatello does machines ♪

DONATELLO:
That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool but crude ♪
RAPHAEL: Give me a break.

♪ Michelangelo is a party
Dude ♪
MICHELANGELO: Party!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪

♪ Turtle power! ♪

[♪♪♪]

To the right.

Uh-uh, to the right.

[PEOPLE GROANING]

[SNIFFS]

Mmm, something good
is cooking, yeah.

Yeah, I am hungry too.

This was your bargain
sea cruise to Holland?

Look, I said it was cheap.

I never said
it was comfortable.

You also neglected
to mention

we'd be in a box
for the whole trip.

Hey, chill, dudes.

At least we had enough
pizza for the trip.

Anyone for hot fudge
and liverwurst

with double cheese?

Enjoy this one guys.
It's our last.

We're out of pizza?

Mondo bummer.

As you say, Michelangelo:

Chill out.

There's more to life
than pizza.

That's true.
There's surfing.

And there's also this Dutch
vacation we're going on

with April and Irma.

Ahh, isn't Amsterdam
beautiful, April?

All these gorgeous tulips.

Yeah, and your wooden shoes
are nice too, Irma.

Hee-hee-hee!
They are cute, aren't they?

[WATCH CHIMES]

It's the Turtlecom.

The Turtles must have arrived
in Amsterdam.

April here.

The turtles have landed.

Welcome to Holland, guys.

Hey, we're ready for that
vacation anytime you guys are.

As soon as we've finished
our assignment

at the Amsterdam Diamond Market.

They're putting
the Duchess Diamond on display.

Wow, that's the biggest,

most perfect diamond
in the world.

It hasn't been seen
in public in 50 years.

Hmm, yeah.

Ahh, and it would look great
sitting right on this finger.

KRANG:
There is the key

to my triumphant
return to Earth.

SHREDDER:
A diamond. Are you going
to hock it for a plane ticket?

It's not just a diamond.

It's the largest, most flawless
diamond in the universe.

I must have it to complete
my Laser Dimension Blade.

A diamond to cut
through dimensions.

Even Bebop and Rocksteady
wouldn't buy that.

Shredder, you have absolutely
no scientific aptitude.

The Duchess Diamond
is merely the lens

which will focus and intensify
this powerful laser

to cut through
the dimensional barrier

between here and Earth
like a knife through butter.

But the Technodrome
has no fuel.

You can't bring it to Earth,

even if you had
a portal big enough.

I know that, but the blade
will create a reverse vacuum

that will draw the Technodrome
through the barrier

without the need of fuel.

I'm such an evil genius.

You'd better be right
this time, Krang.

I'm getting tired
of packing my bags

for a trip
that never happens.

Ooh, did somebody
say "trip"? Oh, boy.

Yeah, do we get to break things
and scare people?

If you're lucky.

We're going to pull
a little diamond heist.

Now get into that portal.

You didn't say
the magic word.

Get in the portal or else.

That's two words.

Now!

That's one word.

Don't worry, Krang,
I will get that diamond.

Why doesn't that
make me feel any better?

Have I ever failed you before?

Yes, in almost every episode.

MICHELANGELO:
Total bummer, dudes,
we're out of pizza,

and this entire town doesn't
even have one pizzeria.

We know.
You've told us 10 times.

Michelangelo, what does it take
to get your mind of off pizza?

Bebop and Rocksteady.

Good, that's something that
will ruin anybody's appetite.

No, they're here.

SHREDDER:
Ugh!

Krang, you'll pay for this.

Heh-heh! They're really
floundering around.

LEONARDO:
I'll bet they're not
in that net for the halibut.

Leonardo, you made a joke.

Hey, you're right.

Now let's get 'em.

[♪♪♪]

SHREDDER:
The Turtles.

It's time to fish
or cut bait, Shredder.

We're going down.

[ALL GRUNT]

Get those shellbacks.

Ready or not,
here we come.

We like it better
if you're not.

Hey, throw us a line.

Okay, here's one:

What did the mayonnaise
say to the refrigerator?

No, not that kind
of line. A rope.

Here's your rope.

Thanks, Turtle.

BOTH:
Mama!

Going somewhere,
Shredhead?

I'm doing
a little shopping, Turtle.

You have a nice swim.

[YELPS]

MAN:
I'm tired of this cheese
factory hideout, Spats.

It stinks.

You're right, Dag, but after
we grab that Duchess Diamond,

we can say so long
to these cheesy hangouts.

Nothing but first-class

for Spats Sparkle
and Dag from now on.

Do I look like a Diamond Market
security guard?

Yeah, a dumb one.

But we only have to fool
them for a little while.

[LAUGHING]

We'll be long gone
when those boobs discover

the Duchess Diamond
had been replaced

by this cheap
glass duplicate.

APRIL:
Hurry, Irma.

They're going to start
the press conference soon.

Now, when I get next
to the Duchess Diamond,

you turn off the lights.

I grab the rock and put
the fake in its place.

Then you turn
the lights back on.

Nobody sees anything.

Gee, Spats, you're a genius.

Yeah, heh-heh, I am.

Look at the size
of that rock.

Pull in your tongue, Irma.

We've got work to do.

There's the diamond, boss.

How do we get it?

Bebop, you create a disturbance.

Rocksteady, you smash
the glass case,

and I'll grab the diamond.

Okay, smash the diamond,
grab the case.

Got it, boss.

No, you idiot,
smash the case.

Did you arrange
a getaway vehicle?

All set, boss.

Good. Soon, the Duchess Diamond
will be ours.

And the Technodrome will be
arriving from Dimension X.

DONATELLO:
As soon as April is finished
taping at the Diamond Market,

we can start our vacation.

RAPHAEL:
With Shredder
and his g*ons around,

I got a feeling our vacation
is gonna be delayed.

LEONARDO:
I hate it when
you talk like that.

This is April O'Neil, Channel


here in the Amsterdam
Diamond Market,

for the exhibition of the
fabulous Duchess Diamond.

Wow, that's the most beautiful
diamond I've ever seen.

It's Rocksteady and Bebop.

RAPHAEL:
Shredder is after
the Duchess Diamond.

[CROWD SHOUTING]

I've got the diamond.

I've got the diamond.

Hey, watch it, mister.

Whoa, what happened?

I was standing next
to this handsome guy

when the lights went out.

But he got away.

The Duchess Diamond
has been stolen.

[♪♪♪]

The diamond's been stolen.

And Shredder has vanished.

Is it just me or does anybody
else see a connection here?

Somebody snatched
the fake diamond, Spats.

Well, what if the cops
search me?

I got an idea.

SHREDDER:
Where's our getaway vehicle,
Bebop?

Coming right up.

This is the best
you could do?

Gee, sorry, boss, but my Mutant
Express card is maxed out.

Just shut up and pedal.

Good thinking, Dag.

They'll never suspect
that reporter.

We'll just wait outside
for her,

grab the bag
and get out of here.

[SIRENS WAILING]

The man is Spats Sparkle,

a notorious jewel thief.

Has anyone seen him
in here today?

Not my type. Sorry.

She was right next to the broken
case when the lights came on.

But you can't think that I--

Sounds like you had every
opportunity to take the stone.

We'll have to take
you in, ma'am.

They're trying to pin
this bum rap on April.

We've gotta get her
out of here.

Take her from the police?

Isn't that ill*gal?

Turtles, what are you doing?

DONATELLO:
Save the questions
for later, April.

Stop, thief.
Stop, turtles.

"Stop, turtles"?

This party's turning rowdy.

Come on, girls,
we're out of here.

IRMA:
I knew we were coming
to Holland,

but I never thought
I'd be in Dutch.

The police are going
into the sewer.

They must be after somebody.

That reporter must have found
the diamond

and escaped into the sewer.

Come on, we gotta find her
before they do.

I think Shredder plans
to use that diamond

to cut a hole to Dimension X
and bring the Technodrome here.

MICHELANGELO:
Bummer.

RAPHAEL:
Really? Think what that will
do to property values.

Well, if he's using
a dimensional laser,

I can track him
from the Turtle Van.

Well, then, let's go.

[PANTING]

Boss, uh, you ain't doing
your share of pedaling.

That's because I'm
the brains of this outfit.

Yes, Krang?

Do you have the diamond?

Of course.

Good. I'll set
the Dimensional Laser Blade

to a deserted windmill

a kilometer from where you are.

Call me when you get there.

Pedal faster, mutants.

[PANTING]

APRIL:
Irma, you should have left

those wooden shoes behind.

IRMA:
If I had known I'd be running
through the sewers,

escaping from police,
I would have.

SPATS:
Oh, it's that reporter.

With some weird-looking
green things.

Let's get our diamond.

Surf's up, amigos.

Way up.

IRMA:
Look, two guys in a boat.

Maybe they're going
to rescue us.

[TURTLES SCREAM]

I'll take my diamond back,
Miss O'Neil.

LEONARDO:
Diamond?

I've seen
that ugly puss before.

He's that jewel thief.

Ungh! Let me go.

They're kidnapping April.

Do something.

Okay, give me your shows,
Irma.

Cowabunga!

Sorry to cut this short,
Turtle.

Whoa, this is short.

Ungh! Ungh.

Oh, it was bodacious
while it lasted.

Gee, April had
the diamond after all.

Spats must have dropped
it into April's camera case.

MICHELANGELO:
But I though Shredder stole it.

LEONARDO:
This gets more complicated
all the time.

Guys, this is really serious.

If Shredder has a fake diamond

and tries to cut
a dimensional hole,

it could be a disaster.

So, like, what's the plan, Stan?

Well, we find Shredder.

If April can turn the homing
signal in her Turtlecom on,

we'll look for her.

DONATELLO:
And don't call me Stan.

The Duchess Diamond.

Heh-heh, this diamond is gonna
set us up for life, Dag. Heh.

Ooh, good, the cheese factory
is closed.

Come on, let's stash
our snoopy reporter inside.

You're not gonna
get away with this.

And you can forget about
those turtle creatures

rescuing you, Miss O'Neil.

By the time they find you,
you'll be over your head

in cheese.

KRANG:
Hurry up.

Ooh, I can't wait
to be on my way back to Earth.

Don't rush me, Krang.

This is delicate precision work.

Then how come
we got the job, boss?

I keep asking myself
that question.

The diamond is in place.

Now we bring
the Technodrome to Earth.

Don't forget to fasten
your seat belt.

And you were worried, Krang.

[♪♪♪]

The frequency is wrong.
Shut it off.

The diamond shattered.

That was no diamond, you boob.

But now you've got to find
the real diamond

or Earth and the Technodrome
will be destroyed.

DONATELLO:
I'm getting a reading.

It's pretty close.

What is it?
What's happening?

LEONARDO:
What's going on, Donatello?

DONATELLO:
Shredder must have activated
his dimensional cutter

with a fake diamond.

So how come we're doing
all this rocking and rolling?

'Cause we're experiencing
atmosphere overload.

The fake diamond
caused the device

to send out a fractured beam.

So that thing didn't work.
That's good, right?

Well, if we don't find
the real diamond

and send out
a correcting beam,

it could shatter both
our dimension and Krang's.

That's not good.

Then let's find that diamond.

And April.

And fast.

[RUMBLING, WOOD CRACKING]

Oh, no, the beam is breaking.

I never thought
I'd wind up as cheese dip.

[WAILS]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, another shake like that
and I'm in the cheese.

And I don't even like Edam.

If I can get to my Turtlecom,

I can set
the homing signal and--

If the Turtles are listening--

[CRACKING]
Oh.

Can't move too fast.

Darn it. I hope that homing
signal goes through cheese...

before I do.

DONATELLO:
I've picked up April's
homing signal.

It's strange, kind of muffled.

Which way do we go?

Uh, that way, I think.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

April's signal
is coming from here.

An old cheese factory.

SHREDDER:
The diamond must be here.

Stop. Stop.

[ALL YELP, GRUNT]

Look, boss.

SHREDDER:
So the Turtles are after
the diamond too.

Well, we'll have
to disappoint them.

[SHREDDER LAUGHS]

We're close now, guys.

But we better find
that diamond

or finding April
won't matter.

Uh, another earthquake?

SHREDDER:
You should be so lucky.

Shredder!

Have some cheese ba*ls,
Turtles.

[TURTLES CRY OUT]

[CHUCKLING]

I guess we surprised you,
shellbacks.

And we like surprises.

[LAUGHS]

Donatello, batter up.

Right.

Ungh!

I like surprises.

Ew, but I hate cheese.

Hey.

I can't see.

Michelangelo,
you and Irma find April.

We'll keep Shredder
and company occupied.

Right, dude.

SPATS:
It's those turtles.

We gotta get out of here.

Hurry, Michelangelo.

Whoa, that stuff is mondo ripe.

Cowabunga!

[CRIES OUT]

Got you, dudette.

There's the diamond.
Grab it, Bebop.

Sure thing, boss.

[GRUNTS]
Oh.

SPATS:
Oh, no.

ROCKSTEADY:
I got it. I got it.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Oof! I don't got it.

Good hit, Donatello.

I was practicing earlier.

P-yew.

Limburger.

Get me that diamond.

Right, boss.

Give me that diamond,
Turtle.

Not even if you say
"please."

ROCKSTEADY:
Ooh, what if we both say
"please"?

I am not going to jump
into that cheese.

[RUMBLING]

Stop playing around, Raphael,
we've gotta get going.

And I was having
such a good time.

Whoa!

BOTH:
Yikes. Ow.

Oh, it's hot in here.

And stinky.

Hey, what about
the diamond, Spats?

Forget it. We're too small-time
for this bunch.

Now to find
that Dimensional Laser.

No need. I already know
where it is.

ALL:
Ow. Hey.

Oh, no.

I'll take that.

Heh-heh-heh! I hope you guys
like going around together.

Heh-heh!

[ALL SHOUTING]

LEONARDO:
Oh, thank goodness that cheese
wheel hit a bump in the road

or we might be halfway
to the Zuider Zee.

How's that cheese detector?

Well, it's working so far.

[SNIFFING]

They went this way, dudes.

Whew, I could smell that
Limburger for miles away.

KRANG:
Hurry, Shredder.

Another hit
by that fractured beam

and the Technodrome
might split open.

It's ready.

Then turn it on.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you, Shredder.

Oh, no, not the Turtles.

Just turn it on

and the Technodrome
will be on its way to Earth.

Nyah-nyah.

Bet you can't get it.

Oh, er, give it to me.

Whoa!

I have to correct that beam.

[BEBOP & ROCKSTEADY GRUNT]

Coming at you, Shredhead.

SHREDDER:
Watch it. You're making it turn.

MICHELANGELO:
Ha, ha, yeah, dude,
tubuloso ride.

Time's running out.

I hate turtles.
Shredder, where are you?

Going around with Michelangelo
the last time I saw him.

I think I've got it.

[BUZZES]

It's working.

The corrected beam
cancelled out the wrong one.

You did it, Donatello.

Well, we'll just return
this to the authorities

and clear April's name.

But let's make
turtle tracks out of here.

What's the hurry?

Uh, you'll see.

Let's put the pedal
to the metal, dudes.

SHREDDER:
Rocksteady, Bebop,

get me down.

You know, something tells me

we should have gone
with the Turtles.

APRIL:
What's happening?

[SHREDDER CRIES OUT]

When I corrected the beam,
I reversed the pole.

So instead of pulling
the Technodrome here,

it pulled the windmill there.

[SHREDDER SHOUTING]

KRANG:
Shredder,
this is all your fault!

This is going
to be a great vacation.

But there's still
no pizza.

Don't be so sure.

Pizza.

We knew we'd find a pizzeria
if we looked long enough.

[GIGGLES]

[♪♪♪]