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05x15 - Future Tense

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Real Ghostbusters". Aired: September 13, 1986 – October 5, 1991.*
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Series follows the continuing adventures of the four Ghostbusters, their secretary Janine, their accountant Louis, and their mascot Slimer, as they chase and capture rogue spooks, specters, spirits and ghosts around New York City and various other areas of the world.

05x15 - Future Tense

Post by bunniefuu »

[Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" playing]

Ghostbusters!

[Slimer screaming]

There's something strange

In the neighborhood

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

[alarm ringing]

There's something weird

And it don't look good

[exclaiming]

Who you gonna call?

[cat yowling]

Ghostbusters!

- [growling]

- [screaming]

[Slimer] Luigi, jump!

I ain't afraid of no ghost

[screaming]

I ain't afraid of no ghost

[Slimer] Ghostbusters.

[Slimer] Yeah!

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

And me! And me!

[screaming]

[maniacal laughter]

- [siren blaring]

- Huh?

[shrieks]

[Ray] Hey, hey! Check it out, guys!

My favorite show Muffy and the Meatheads.

Can't we wait for a commercial break?

Ray, come on, man, we've got a job to do.

[screeching]

Yuck.

[growling]

[blows raspberry]

[shattering]

He's a speedy little stinker.

[snarling]

Hey! Careful, you guys.

[Peter] Sorry, Spud.

Let's get serious and bag this gooper.

I'm missing my TV show.

[growls]

- [growling]

- [Ray] I got it! I got it!

[Egon] Winston, the trap.

[screams]

[Peter] What a grosso.

Man, they are getting

uglier and uglier, aren't they, Ray?

Well, this one's going to take

a long beauty sleep now.

Nice sh**ting, Ray.

- [monster roars on TV]

- Ray?

[Ray] All right!

Godzilla Goes to Hollywood.

Oh, my! I hope I'm insured for ghosts.

No biggie, sir.

A little paint here and there

will do wonders.

Now, about our fee.

Listen

How's about I give you

something better than money?

Like?

This little baby here is top of the line.

It's got your stereo synthesizer.

A modulizer,

digital audio tracking transceiver

and 60 channel AMF

and fiber optics solid state.

Sorry, but--

- We'll take that.

- We'll take it.

Sold.

You realize what this means, Spud?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!

What it means is

we just got aced out

of this week's grocery money

in exchange for a year's supply

of canned laughter.

No, no, no, no, no.

It means we get to watch

tonight's classic late movie in stereo.

The Incredible Radioactive Turbo

from Outer Space.

[Slimer mumbling excitedly]

[electricity buzzing]

[screams]

[TV remote clicks]

Aren't you going to crash, Ray?

- [laughter on TV]

- No.

I want to watch our new TV.

This movie is a classic.

[scoffs] You're the classic.

Good night, pal.

[dramatic music playing on TV]

[woman on TV] Dr. Proctor, we're doomed.

[man 1 on TV] Pull yourself together, Fay.

I know how to stop the giant gerbil.

First, we build this really humongous

exercise wheel.

[Ray through TV] Peter, I am telling you,

we're going to get drenched.

[Peter through TV]

Ray, nobody's used this place in 10 years.

[snoring] Huh?

The pipes in here are so dry,

the termites carry canteens.

Peter?

[Egon] I am getting

strong readings in here.

[PKE meter beeping]

There he is.

Incoming!

[all] Whoa!

Wow!

Incredible!

Guys!

Guys, you won't believe what's on TV.

Who cares?

Pipe down, man.

Yeah, pipe down, man.

[Egon] We are trying to sleep, Ray.

[grumbles and sighs]

[man 1 on TV] Don't look, Fay.

A 20 ton dead gerbil

is not a pretty sight.

What?

[siren wailing]

Oh, I know I saw it.

[Egon] You have to cut back

on the TV time, Ray.

You are starting

to lose touch with reality.

But it was real! I saw it.

We were all there.

And you were the scarecrow

and you were the tin man.

Face it, Ray. You fell asleep

in front of the tube and had a bad dream.

Oh, Ray.

Yuck!

You look like a manhole cover, Spud.

[groans]

Got a call, guys.

A free-repeating phantasm

is loose on the East Side

in an abandoned warehouse.

Did you say an abandoned warehouse?

[tires screeching]

Expecting rain, Ray?

I am telling you.

This is exactly the warehouse I saw on TV.

- We're going to get drenched.

- Not me.

[Peter] Ray, nobody's used

this place in 100 years.

The pipes are so dry,

the termites carry canteens.

That is exactly what you said last night.

[maniacal laughter]

[screams]

[evil laughter]

I got him!

[creaking]

[screams]

[all cough]

Did I call it or did I call it?

[Egon] An amazing coincidence.

[exhales]

But only coincidence, it proves nothing.

Sorry, Ray.

I believe you, Ray.

Time check.

1:00 a.m.

Roger. Time for the late movie.

[chomping]

[slurps]

[burps]

Oh, I am sorry.

[announcer through TV]

Tonight's feature, Bowling alley of blood

will begin after these messages.

[music playing on TV]

[woman screams on TV]

[yawns]

[TV show music playing]

[indistinct talking on TV]

[woman on TV]

Michael, put down that bowling ball.

[maniacal laughter]

[growling]

Slimer, this is it.

[grunts]

Whoa!

Uh-oh.

[screams]

Awesome.

[static]

[Winston] Uh-oh.

[Egon] Hey, how do you stop this thing?

- [Ray] Oh, come on.

- [Peter] Whoa, horsey.

- All right.

- All right!

We got it on tape, Spud.

Yeah, yeah! On tape!

- [snoring]

- [door opens]

Not again.

Guys, guys, guess what we saw on TV?

[Peter and Winston] Quiet.

Now do you believe me?

OK, how did you do it, Ray?

Celebrity lookalikes?

I didn't do it. It's real!

Yeah. Real, real!

I believe you, man.

So do I.

And I would say that this is the culprit.

You mean our new TV is haunted?

[groans]

Egon, you're supposed to unplug it first.

It was unplugged.

[alarm rings]

Hop to it, guys!

Some Class-4s are loose

at the maritime museum.

Maritime museum?

Like where they have

a lot of old sailing ships?

Old pirate sailing ships?

Exactly.

Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah!

Is it? It is.

[Peter] Then let's move.

[sirens blaring]

Fry 'em!

Ray! Ray! Look!

[all scream]

[Winston] So, what happens next, Ray?

Now?

[grunts]

Now we remake Captain Blood.

Avast, ye swabs!

Avast yourself, matey.

Argh!

[shrieks]

Uh-oh.

Looks like we got 'em all.

No, there's one more.

Argh!

He's mine.

Careful of the

- mast.

- [Ray] Oops.

We did it.

Now let's take this puppy home.

How Ray? The rudder's useless.

[Peter] Hey, look on the bright side.

We're alive, the traps are full,

and the Coast Guard

will be here in no time.

No problemo.

[fog horn blaring]

- What was that?

- Hey. What is that?

[all screams]

[all screaming]

[screams]

Any brilliant ideas?

We are about to become otter chow.

Yeah. Get to the stern, quick.

What's a stern?

You know, opposite of the bow.

Isn't the opposite of the bow, a curtsy?

Gentlemen, we are dealing

in nautical terms here.

Port, starboard, poop deck.

Poop deck?

We won't even get into that one, OK?

[fog horn blowing]

Come on, come on. Hustle.

Just follow me.

Fire into the water. Go. Go!

[Winston] Hold your fire.

[screams]

Wow!

Phew.

Man, that was a little too close.

Hold on, we still have

to get by the propellers.

Whoa!

[Peter mumbles]

[Peter] Can we go home now? Please.

Just as I suspected.

This set is hot.

Hmm. If it is still hot,

how come it didn't warn us

about that tanker.

Maybe it didn't want us to know about that

until it was too late.

That's it. Give me that set.

It's out of here.

Sorry, Peter.

It's important

that I study this more closely.

That's good, Slimer.

Nothing there.

So that's where my keys went.

Sorry, Peter.

[alarm buzzing]

Sonic profile is normal.

Seems like everything is normal.

So far.

Now, I'll check the brainwaves.

Brainwaves? From a TV set?

Well, what does intelligence

have to do with television?

See for yourself.

Incredible!

The EEG indicates high brain activity.

High. That thing's smarter than I am.

Better have a look at this.

I'll tell you one thing,

It didn't come out

of the factory this way.

Fusion. It's growing like

a supernatural fungus.

Terrific. Our TV has Ecto athlete's foot.

Time for Dr. Venkman's miracle cure.

No way!

This is the greatest

scientific discovery in history.

This TV set can see into the future.

Our very own electronic crystal ball.

Think of the possibilities.

Ray is right.

This is a window into our future.

Great, no more blind dates.

Hey, let's plug it in

and see what's going to happen next.

Hmm, nothing yet.

[yawns] Keep looking. Keep looking.

Oh, wow!

What's that? A prediction.

I really love this show.

Ray, we are trying

to do science stuff here.

Hey, that's me, that's me!

[Ray] And that's our roof!

[thunder clapping]

What are we doing up there?

Huh?

A roof is no place to be

in a lightning storm.

[wailing]

Uh-oh.

[all screaming]

[thunder clapping]

[Ray] What happened?

Yeah, what's it mean? The end?

I think we just witnessed

our own deaths.

Oh.

[crying]

Well, the good news

is we can see the future,

but the bad news is

it's going to be real short.

- Uh-oh.

- Uh-oh?

He said "uh-oh."

I hate when says that.

You mean we have been sitting here

all this time staring at an omelet?

[thunder clapping]

A rainstorm, just as the TV showed.

Hmm. A flooded warehouse,

pirates at sea, and now rain.

All three predictions involve water.

And blue is the universal color of water.

Gentlemen, I think we are dealing

with a water elemental.

Of course!

Of course what?

Elementals were ancient spirits

like powerful genies.

They represented the four elements.

Earth, Air, Fire, and Water!

Yeah, people used to think Elementals

caused things like fires,

earthquakes, and hurricanes.

But, that's all superstition.

Well, this is obviously real.

What happens if it hatches?

The results could be devastating

to the entire city.

Let's get this to the containment.

[Egon] Hurry.

Yeah, before something else happens.

[thunder crashing]

[Ray] Oh, God.

- [alarm blaring]

- [Egon] Who turned off the lights?

The containment.

The emergency generator

will handle it for a while.

But now, we can't use the containment.

The trap lock drains too much power.

Then we'll have to take this to the roof.

What? Egon, you saw the prediction.

You know what's going to happen

if we go up there?

I know what's going to happen

to this entire city if we don't.

[thunder crashing]

Hang on!

[gasps]

What's the plan, Egon?

Please tell me there's a plan.

[Egon] Help me move it

to the tallest antenna.

According to the legends,

water and fire are mortal enemies.

This is a water elemental

and lightning is fire.

You mean, we got to fry this egg?

Yes.

Run!

Whoa!

What happened?

The lightning didn't hurt it.

I don't know.

Uh-oh.

[growling]

[growling]

The lightning rod!

It carried away the charge!

sh**t it, hurry!

Ghostbusters

Everybody, down.

[screams]

Hit the deck!

[shrieks]

[growling]

Ghostbusters

All right!

Well, guys, looks like the future

is now history.

Now explain to me again

why we're still alive, Egon.

Because the water Elemental

thought he was safe on the tower.

That was the future he showed us.

But when I zapped the lightning rod,

it changed the future.

Yes, you made him the target.

The lightning hit him and poof

no more water Elemental.

Good call, Ray.

Yeah, Ray. Smooth move man.

How'd you know to do that?

Well, I, uh, I saw it on TV once.

Here, partner,

we still have one good set left.

From now on, you watch whatever you want.

Thanks guys, but I think I'd rather

just read a book tonight.

Yeah. Read a book.

"It was a dark and stormy night."

Uh, another book.

"Once upon a time"

Oh, that's nice.

"On a warm and sunny day"

"In a far off land way, way, way, away."

[closing theme song playing]

Ghostbusters!

There's something strange

In the neighborhood

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

There's something weird

And it don't look good

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost

I ain't afraid of no ghost

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!