01x05 - Troll Bridge

[bunniefuu]

["Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ If there's something strange ♪

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm blaring]

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ If there's something weird ♪

And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[roaring]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[foghorn blowing]

[panting]

Huh?

[growl]

Uh-oh.

[gibberish]

[muttering indistinctly]

[grunts]

[man muttering indistinctly]

[gibberish]

[continues speaking gibberish]

[hip hop music playing]

Oh.

[chuckles]

[gibberish]

[makes excited noises]

Hey, buddy,
move that piece of junk, will you?

[engine starting]

[groans]

[driver] Huh?

[screaming]

Huh?

[creature chuckles]

[creature laughing]

Hey, buddy, I said...

Whoa!

[gibberish]

[both screaming]

[horns honking and crowd screaming]

[snoring]

Ugh. Ah. Ah!

Ah! Ah! [exclaims]

He got me again, Ray.
He slimed me in my sleep.

But he loves you, Peter.

Fine, Ray, I'm thrilled. Really.

Just keep him away from me.

[ringing]

What!

Uh-oh.

Hey, wake up
and smell the coffee, you guys.

You won't believe this one.

And now to repeat
this late-breaking story.

The Queensboro Bridge has been taken over

by creatures of unknown origin.

The purpose of seizure
is not known at this time.

No demands have been made.

Now, Janine, what is it?

Shh. Listen.

[reporter] We now go to
Flem Knockvin live on the scene.

[creatures laughing]

Ghostbusters, help!

Hm. Trolls.

[all] Trolls?

Trolls! Of course.

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

I've checked Tobin's Spirit Guide.

The only reference to trolls is,

"Fabled dwarves living
in caves or under bridges."

That's it. Like in
The Three Billy Goats Gruff.

The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Ray?

[Ray] Yeah! The troll under the bridge.

And they can be mean, let me tell you.

Don't you just love
taking the kids for a drive?

Quiet down back there.
Look at the scenery or we'll go home.

"They don't trust humans.

They don't want anything
to do with people or cities."

I wonder what they're after.

Trolls. I don't believe it.

It's New York. It's Monday morning.

Where else would trolls be but under
the Queensboro Bridge, huh? I ask you.

[Peter] [in disbelief]
Trolls under the Queensboro Bridge.

It's probably dogs or rats or something.

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[officer] [over megaphone]
Attention, this is the police.

This is your final warning.

If you do not release the bridge,
we'll be forced to use tear gas.

If you'll come peacefully,
we'll be happy to escort you back to,

well, wherever you came from.

Will you surrender quietly?

[trolls grunting]

Then you leave us no choice.

All right, men. Tear gas ready.
Let's move them out!

[officers coughing]

[Winston] Would you look at that?

You still thinking dogs and rats, Peter?

Very big dogs or very big rats.

The Ghostbusters!

[both] Oh, the Ghostbusters!

[crowd] [chanting]
Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters!

Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters!

[all cheering]

Ghostbusters.

[Peter] Stand back, ladies and gentlemen.

The Ghostbusters are here.
We'll check it out.

Wow, look at that mess.

That's gotta be troll handiwork.

Hey, I have an idea.

We can't wait to hear it, Ray.

The trolls attack vehicles.

Let's drive Ecto-1 onto the bridge
and see what happens.

It's worth a shot.

Just remember, the trolls are vicious,
fearless and very mean.

Vicious, fearless and very mean, huh?

Oh, Ray, you're driving.

Ah-ha.

Oh.

[chuckles]

[troll snoring]

[whispering gibberish]

[grunts]

Great idea, Ray.

"Let's drive Ecto-1 onto the bridge
and see what happens."

[Egon] What do we do now?

We blast them.

No, wait. I wouldn't do that.

Even if we were able to get out
and blast them, as Ray says,

before they completely destroyed Ecto-1,
which is beyond probability,

the streams might turn
the trolls into stone or...

Or what, Egon?

The particle streams could
make them bigger, and very likely meaner.

[trolls laughing]

[grunts]

Uh. Maybe we could talk to them.

Great idea, Winston.
Go on. Tell them I said hi.

[Winston] All in favor of Peter going out

and talking tot the trolls,
raise their hand.

Me, Dr. Venkman, you, troll.

What's the problem here?

I don't think they like me.

[gibberish]

They don't speak English.

Any suggestions?

Perhaps I should speak to the gentleman.

Hey, Peter, Egon understands them.
He can translate.

Tell him to hurry, Ray.

[clears throat]

[gibberish]

[gibberish]

It seems they've lost
a member of their group.

They want him back.

Tell him we'll find him if they back off.

[Egon] Hmm.

[Egon speaking gibberish]

[gibberish]

[continues speaking gibberish]

[continues speaking gibberish]

He says that we have 12 hours
to deliver their friend

or else they'll send in the fireflies.

Fireflies? What's so bad about fireflies?

[fireflies growling]

[fireflies roaring]

[shipmates yell]

You had to ask.

[troll grunting]

[trolls chattering]

[Ray] Listen, the best way
to find a troll is to think like a troll.

Go for it, Ray.

OK, I'm a troll and I'm lost.
Where would I go?

I don't know. Tell us, Ray.

Someplace narrow, dark, empty.

[Peter] Like your head?

Oh, come on, guys. If we don't
find that troll, and soon,

those firefly things
are gonna barbecue the city.

Now, get serious.

I am serious.

Now, that's scary.

Ray has a point.

What about the Holland Tunnel?
It's dark, narrow.

That's it.
That's where I'd go if I were a troll.

No, no, not a tunnel.

He's here for the bright lights,
the excitement.

Times Square.

[Peter] Let's split up.

[engine idling]

You guys go down to Times Square,
we'll take the tunnel.

There could always be giant ants.

Like in Santa Clara in 1950.

Not funny.

I love doing that to him.

Now, come on, let's go.
We haven't got much time.

[horns honking]

[Peter] How are we gonna
find anything with the traffic jammed up?

We don't have time to waste.

Let's get out and look around.

There he is. Get him!

Somebody stop that troll.

[panting] Come back here. Nice troll.

I've gotta say this, Peter.
You really should get into better shape.

And I gotta say this, Egon.

I never liked you.
Or your family. Or your dog.

There. Now we got him!

OK. I'll hit him low, you hit him high.

[gibberish]

-Oh.
-[ice-cream truck tune playing]

[continues speaking gibberish]

[Egon] Go!

[gibberish]

Well, now what do we do?

I hear New Jersey is
beautiful this time of year.

Thanks, Egon.

You're such a joy to me
in my declining years.

[Ray] Nothing.

We've been looking for hours
and not a trace of the troll.

Yeah, and I'm getting
pretty hot and tired too.

Say. Now, there's just what I need.
Come on!

To tell you the truth, Winston,
I'm worried.

Those fireflies are gonna level the city
unless we find that troll.

But the odds are against us.

Yeah, the odds of us
seeing that thing are a million-to-1.

Oh, yeah, strawberry whirl, please.

-Thanks.
-Harpsh.

"Harpsh"?

-Troll!
-That's him!

Wait!

Stop!

Follow that cone!

[siren wailing]

[brakes screech]

[Egon and Peter yell]

Doesn't look good, does it?

Time is running out.

[grunting]

[gibberish]

[gibberish]

[all chattering]

[gibberish]

Come on, Peter. Grab a telescope.

I don't wanna look at the city, Ray.

I'm tired, I ache, and I wanna take a nap.

It's the most efficient way of
covering a lot of ground fast.

We have only minutes left.

Egon's right.
Do you want to see New York destroyed?

[sleepily] Ask me after
I've had some sleep, OK? Nighty-night.

[Egon] I've spotted something.

I think I see him. Take a look, Ray.

Where? Where?

I don't see him. Just a band.

[Egon] Behind the band, by the alley.

[Ray] We got him. Let's go.
We'll get the elevator. You bring Peter.

[snoring]

You. Now!

Come on, guys. Just a little nap.

I'll get you for this someday.

We have less than an hour to find him
and take him back to the bridge.

That's it! Music.

Very good, Ray.
But this is no time to dance.

I'm telling you, the trolls like music.
He was dancing near a band.

Look, over there.

[dance music playing]

It's showtime.

[gibberish]

Party...

Down.

Grab him!

[gibberish]

[both grunt]

[gibberish]

[crowd cheering]

-Party?
-Huh?

[gibberish]

[all speaking gibberish]

[chanting]

[roaring]

[chanting continues]

[engine roaring]

-[all gasp]
-[horse whinnies]

[gibberish]

[all yelling]

Party.

[all] Party?

-Party?
-Party.

It must've picked up
the word on the streets.

How are you gonna keep them
under the bridge

after they've seen Times Square, huh?

I like this guy. He's my kind of people.

[Ray] Troll, Peter. Troll.

[Peter] Whatever, Ray.
He's a party animal and I like him.

We better get him back to the bridge.

Time's just about up!

Actually, time is up.

[firefly screeching]

Huh?

[all clamoring]

Hey, look at that.

Oh, Harry, get a picture for the kid.

All right, let's see.

F-stop, check. And focus.

[screaming]

[all screaming]

[screeches]

[man] Look out!

-[rumbling]
-[all yelling]

[gibberish]

Party's over. Come on, John Revolta.

I really like this town.
I'd hate to see it charbroiled.

Party?

Later. We gotta swat some flies first.

Egon, what would happen
if the streams hit those things?

I don't know.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Arm Proton g*n.

[g*ns powering up]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[laughing]

This isn't working!

Look out!

I just hope you appreciate this.

Party?

[Ray] Peter, it's after the troll.

[yells]

Have a drink, pal.

Ah-ha.

Party.

[Peter] Yeah, party. Only next time,
let's all go to your place.

All clear? Ta-da.

All's well that ends well, huh?

[Ray] They'll be back, Peter.

So? We'll take care of them.

Very likely there'll be
more of them, Peter.

A lot more.

[Ray] We have to turn the troll in, Peter.

[Egon] There's no other way.

[Winston]
Those fireflies will destroy the city.

All right, I'll...No. Wait a sec.

[troll] Ah-ha?

If we hit a troll with a particle beam,

he either turns to stone
or gets bigger, right?

Correct.

[gibberish]

Party?

[gibberish]

[gibberish]

[gibberish]

[whistles]

Ah, there you are.

Just the troll I was looking for.

Well?

He wouldn't come quietly,
so we had to blast him.

Sorry. He'll be OK
in about 500 years or so.

[gibberish]

All right. Coast is clear.

[gibberish]

Thanks again for the rush job.
We appreciate it.

Anytime, Dr. Venkman. Anytime.

[Peter] Tell him to hurry up
or he'll miss his train.

And tell him to go to this address.

Thank you, Peter.

You guys teach him that?

[announcer over PA] All aboard.

[gibberish]

Just where are we sending him?

To a partying friend of mine in Chicago.
He owes me five bucks.

After he gets a load of
our little partying friend,

I'd call the debt paid.

Wouldn't you?

[theme music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[yelling]