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02x61 - Captain Steel Saves the Day

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Real Ghostbusters". Aired: September 13, 1986 – October 5, 1991.*
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Series follows the continuing adventures of the four Ghostbusters, their secretary Janine, their accountant Louis, and their mascot Slimer, as they chase and capture rogue spooks, specters, spirits and ghosts around New York City and various other areas of the world.

02x61 - Captain Steel Saves the Day

Post by bunniefuu »

[Ray Parker Jr's Ghostbusters playing]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm blaring]

♪ Who you going to call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you going to call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[ghosts roaring]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[whirring]

♪ Who you going to call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ Who you going to call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[Ray screaming]

Ray, what's wrong?

A failure of the storage facility?

Are the ghosts escaping?

Ghost is back, right?

A class 5 Ecto alert.

Oh, it's...It's worse than that.

Worse than ghost are?

[yelling gibberish]

Ray, snap out of it.
You've got to tell us what's wrong.

[sobbing] This!

What?

-What?
-This.

They're canceling my favorite comic book!

[wails]

There, there.

[crying]

Next month...

...the last, the last issue!

Where you're going, Peter?

To find Ray's marbles.

Then I'm gonna put them in a sock
and beat him unconscious with them.

[gasps]

Go calm Peter down, Winston.
I'll deal with Ray.

Right.

Ray, don't you think
you're over reacting just a tad?

Egon, Captain Steel is my hero.

He's one of the reasons
I became a Ghostbuster,

to battle the forces of darkness!

It's only a comic book.

Only a comic book?

Oh sure, and Moby d*ck
was just a big fish,

and Fettuccini was just an opera.

You people have
no appreciation of great art!

[speaking gibberish]

Mmm.

OK, now for the big finale.

Dr. Destructo zaps Cap with a laser,

knocking him off the roof.

Wait. He can't do that.

I won't let Dr. Destructo do that.

Of course I can. He just said so.

Oh no, not again.

Now look, you two,
I'm getting tired of this.

You have no right to interfere
in our battles.

Right! What are you talking, right?

I created you guys.
Not to mention Delta City,

Police Commissioner Grady
and the whole nine yards.

You did too good a job,
you made us too real.

And now, we want control of our lives.

Oh, you want to talk about control.

Well, how's this for control, smart guy?

Suddenly, a huge comet plunged
out of the depth of space.

Its tail bathing the Earth
in a strange radiation.

Which robbed them both of their powers

and turned them into ordinary mortals.

How'd you like them apples?

No! You can't do this!

Ah!
[thuds]

A new world to save
from the forces of evil.

Farewell, my enemy.
You can have Delta City.

I'll take Manhattan.

You can't do this, Steel,
it's against the Comics Code!

I'll get you for this.

I don't believe it.

What am I gonna do? Who am I gonna call?

Ghostbusters.

[Ray] The nerve of those guys.

First they cancel Captain Steel,

then they ask for our help.

At least it gives me a chance
to meet Len Wolfman,

creator of Captain Steel.

[Pater] I can't believe you brought
50 comic books for him to autograph.

[whooshing]

In a city like this,
there's got to be a crime,

and where there's crime...

Don't make it hard on yourselves. Give up.

They never learn.

[metal clanking]

It's time you two paid
your debt to society.

Let's go.

I've had trouble with the characters
taking over the story before,

but never like this.

It's probably because
the comic was gonna be canceled.

What can I say? It wasn't selling anymore.

Kids are too hip nowadays to believe
in a do-gooder like Captain Steel.

Well, don't worry, we'll find him.

Next we'll be busting the tooth fairy.

[door opens]

What the Sam hill...

[thuds]

Officers, arrest these two miscreants.

Yeah, says who?

Don't you recognized me?

[clears throat]

[grunting]

There, now do you remember me?

Yeah, I think I saw youse
in Macy's parade.

Now, go on, get out of here
before I arrest you for as*ault!

But those two robbed a jewelry store.

Yeah? Where's your proof?

Look buddy, we're busy here.

Why don't you go back
to your costume party, OK?

You sure make it hard
to fight crime in this city.

Have a nice day.

Sheesh, I'm transferrin'
back to the Bronx.

Well, so far no luck.

Perhaps we should split up.
We'll meet back here in an hour.

Look, up in the sky!

I can't believe he said that.

What kind of a city is this?

Where are the supervillains?

Ah! There they are!

What are you doing?

My job, Ray.
You know, what we get paid for.

Uh-oh.

Surrender, in the name of justice!

Captain Steel.

You've got it all wrong.
We're on your side.

That's what they all say.

Ah!

Yeow!

Ouch!

Much as I hate
to destroy public property...

[all] Whoa!

[all complaining]

Now what's he gonna do?

Hey, he's your hero. You tell us.

I've had enough excitement for one day.

I'm outta here.

Good thing he didn't finish
drawing the comet.

If Steel could get out of here, so can I.

A brand new world, ripe for the picking.

As soon as I get rid of Captain Steel.

[crowd chattering]

Another day, another defeat for evildoers.

Uh, can't we talk this over?

[all] Whoa!

[crowd gasps]

I told you.

I said don't mess around
with Captain Steel.

But did you listen? No.

Ray, not now.

Don't worry. He'll take us to the police,

they'll vouch for us and we'll be free.

There's no problem.

Ahh!

[all] Whoa!

Then again, maybe there is!

Surprise, steel for brains...

What the...

Sometimes I really hate this job.

[all screaming]

[Peter] At this speed, hitting the river
will be like hitting concrete.

[grunts] If I can just reach the trigger.

Aim at the water and cross the streams.

Are you crazy?

Just do it.

Might as well go out with a bang.

[all] Whoa!

[spluttering and coughing]

Pretty fancy, Egon.

How'd you know crossing
the stream would do that?

I didn't.

Say what?

I figured it couldn't hurt.

Boy, they really
don't like each other much.

Ahhh!

Oh!

Farewell, Captain Steel.

With you out of the way,
this world is mine!

[laughs evilly]

Yeow!

Uhh!

Captain Steel.

Ray, stop!

Forget it. You'd need a hard head
the size of Detroit to go in there.

[gasps]

[Ray thinking] I can't believe it.

The world's mightiest superhero...

...gone!

[gasps]

Now that's what I call tough.

Captain!

You gotta believe us, Captain Steel.

We're good guys. See?

Member of Good Standing
of the Official Captain Steel

Junior Crimestoppers Club.

Well, why didn't you say so before?

We were too busy protecting ourselves.

We forgot about Dr. Destructo.

[Peter] He's gone.

We've got to find him

before he unleashes whatever
fiendish plan he's concocting.

Oh. I love it
when you say stuff like that.

I'll need nearly unlimited power
to make my plan work.

And it looks like I found it.

[door opens]

[screams]

May I help you?

I am Dr. Destructo

and you are my prisoner.

Dr. Venkman won't like this.

He hates to pay me overtime.

We'd better keep a low profile
so we can find Dr. Destructo

before he finds us.

Good idea.

Why don't you switch
to your secret identity of Curt Clint?

Mild-mannered public accountant
for a great metropolitan ad agency.

Good idea.

Wow, that's great!

What a disguise.

Come on. There's no time to waste.

All he did was change his clothes
and put on a pair of glasses.

Some disguise.

Hey, don't knock it, man. It works.

I hope Dr. Destructo is near-sighted.

We'll head back to headquarters
and discuss our next move.

Yeah.

[all] Ahhh!

It's some kind of force field.

Drat. I was afraid of something like this.

Dr. Destructo has taken over
our headquarters.

He could adapt the power grid
to run his evil devices.

You're starting to sound like him.

This is serious, Peter.

If Destructo disconnects the power...

Don't tell me. I remember
the last time it happened.

OK, let's lock and load
and blow that force field away.

It's not working.

Deactivate power.

Well, that did a lot of good.

Can't you do something?

I'll try.

-Ooh, that Steel.
-[all] Wow!

Where does he put the suit?

[shushing]

Wait. That's not the way.
We have to neutralize it.

But to do that,
we need to know its frequency,

and only Dr. Destructo knows that.

Wrong. There's one other who would know.

Len Wolfman.

Careful with that equipment, buddy.

You break it, you bought it.

Quiet.

I've almost finished
connecting the power source

to my Mental Neutralizer.

Imagine my excitement.

So what's it gonna do?

It will turn every man,
woman and child on Earth

into mindless zombies under my control.

You oughta work in television programming.

So you see, Mr. Wolfman,

since you created Dr. Destructo,

you know the nature of his weaponry.

You've gotta come up with something
to neutralize that force field.

OK, I'll give it a shot.

If he quits fooling around

and gets back into my comic
where he belongs.

It's your decision, Captain Steel.

When the fate of the world is at stake,

there's only one decision possible.

I'll do it.

[Wolfman] Dr. Destructo uses
nucleonic energy

to power his force field.

So this Quasitronic Nuclear Inverter

ought to weaken it.

Swell. But how do we get if off the page?

Leave that to me.

Stand back.

Nice trick.

Come on. There's no time to lose.

It's finished.

Wait!

If you turn off the power to the grid,

you'll be setting uptimillion ghosts free.

[babbling]

[laughs]
You must be really desperate

to expect me to fall
for a story like that.

[rumbling]

[Slimer screams]

What was that?

Now, Captain Steel.

All right, let's get him!

[Slimer sighs in relief]

Hah! Now you're in trouble.

Yeah!

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

No one moves or I throw the switch.

Even you aren't
fast enough to stop me, Steel.

I admit it's not the most satisfying way

to conquer the world,

but I'll take what I can get.

Huh? What's going on?

Stop. Argh!

Ahhh!

[all cheering]

You gonna tell us how you did that?

Yeah. It's simple.

You see, Dr. Destructo
and Captain Steel aren't real.

At least not like we are.

In the comics, Dr. Destructo
doesn't have any superpowers

so he didn't have the sheer strength

to resist our weapons
like Captain Steel does.

So you took a chance that
the grid would trap him

like it would a ghost.

Exactly.

Good job, Junior Crimestopper.

[Ray] Well, so long, Captain Steel.

We'll miss you.

[Captain Steel]
I guess being canceled won't be so bad.

I probably won't feel a thing.

[Wolfman] Canceled?
What are you talking about?

[Ray] But we thought
this was the last issue.

Heck, no.

With all the publicity
he stirred up flying around the city,

we got orders coming in like crazy.

Then back to Delta City to battle.

Uh, who am I going to battle

now that Dr. Destructo has been defeated?

Don't worry. I'll think of something.

Boy, I'm glad that's over.

What a great guy.

Sure wish I could be like Captain Steel.

Hey, wait a minute.

Sure, it's a natural.

Hey. How'd you guys like to be the heroes

of my next series?

Wow!

Hey, wait a minute, guys.

Can't we talk it over?

[theme music playing]

[yells]