04x08 - Speed Trap/Flights of Fantasy/Castaway Cat

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: Ladies and Gentlemen, Garfield and Friends! ♪

- We're - We're

- ready - ready

- to - to

- party!

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

- [Wade] I'm scared!

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's fun to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

- Dancing! - Fiesta!

- Romancing! - Siesta!

- Samba! - La bamba!

- Ay caramba!

- Disguises. - Disguises!

- Surprises. - Surprises!

- And pies of - And pies of

- all sizes!

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

Wouldn't I make a great ventriloquist?

[upbeat theme music]

♪ Oh, 99 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

♪ 99 kettles of soup

♪ If one of those kettles I happen to eat ♪

♪ 98 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

Garfield: Sing, Odie.

♪ 98 kettles of soup [howling]

♪ If one of those kettles I happen to eat ♪

♪ 97 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

- We'll be there in a few minutes, guys.

Just think, a two week vacation

with nothing to worry about but-- [siren blaring]

A police siren, wonder what he wants?

Garfield: He probably wants to give you

a ticket for not feeding your cat enough.

Remember, you have the right to remain silent.

- Something wrong, officer?

- Plenty wrong, fella.

You were speeding.

- Speeding?

That's not possible.

I was only going about 25 miles an hour.

- That's speeding.

The sign you passed says the speed limit's 8 miles an hour.

- 8 miles an hour, that's ridiculous!

I didn't see any sign.

- Come with me.

There's the sign, clear as day.

- I don't see any sign.

- That's the trouble with you city boys,

always in a hurry.

There you are, clear as day, speed limit 8 miles an hour.

Here's your ticket.

- An ant couldn't read that sign.

I'm not paying any ticket!

- Well then, you'll have to tell it to the judge.

Get in your car and follow me into town.

[engine revving]

- I'll just state my case to the judge

and he'll tear up that ticket.

♪ 90 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

♪ 90 kettles of soup [Odie howling] ♪

♪ If one of those kettles I happen to eat ♪

♪ 89 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

- It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

Garfield: Whenever anyone says that,

it's always the money.

[barking]

- Now, you wait right here while

I get His Honor to convene court.

Garfield: Just pay the ticket.

- I know, Garfield, you probably

think I should just pay the ticket.

Garfield: Ugh! Here comes the,

'I have to stand up for my rights' speech.

- I have to stand up for my rights.

- Hey, do I know my Arbuckle?

- I respect all laws, but I'm sure that once

the judge hears my side of this, he'll agree he, he, oh...

- All rise.

This court is now in session,

the Honorable P. Dempsey Weevil presiding.

[banging]

Alright, mister prosecuting attorney.

What's the first case?

The first case, if it pleases Your Honor,

is John Arbuckle, arrested for doing



Very well, I find the defendant

guilty as charged and fine him--

- Wait a minute!

Don't I get to have an attorney?

- Why yes, I believe you are entitled to counsel.

Your Honor, I will represent the defendant.

Garfield: If this guy's a law man,

then I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

- [Odie] Huh?

- Counselor, your client was speeding.

Your Honor, I object!

Objection overruled!

Mr. Arbuckle, how do you plead?

- Like this, Your Honor.

Garfield: I can't take anymore of this.

- [Judge] I hereby fine you $100 dollars!

- $100 dollars?!

Garfield: Let's go, court's adjourned,

or if it isn't, it should be.

- You come back here!

Bailiff, stop them!

Bailiff, where's my Bailiff?

Oh, right. [laughs]

I'll drag him back, Your Honor!

- Guys, stop shoving!

Guys!

Garfield: Hit the road, Jack,

and don't stop till we're in the next county.

[Odie barking]

- But he did give me a ticket.

Garfield: Burn rubber!

[tires screeching]

- You come back here!

Stop in the name of the law!

[engine revving]

- [John] I'm a fugitive from the law!

Garfield: He's not the law.

He's as phony as wax lasagna.

- No, I shouldn't do this.

I am going to go back to throw

myself on the mercy of the court.

[gasping]

[yelling]

[crunching]

My car!

Garfield: Well, you always wanted a convertible.

[tires screeching]

- Whoa!

Garfield: That's what you get

for not wearing your seat belt!

Odie, do you know how to drive?

- [Odie] Uh-uh!

Garfield: And I don't know how to drive.

Odie, we're in big trouble!

- Don't worry guys, I'll save you!

[crashing]

- Got ya!

And I'm adding escape to your list of crimes!

- But my cat, my dog!

[tires screeching]

Garfield: Lesson one, starting the car.

Place key in ignition.

This isn't gonna work.

[gasping]

Hey, I'm driving on this road!

Guess it's too late to hire a chauffeur.

Odie, look up stopping.

[whimpering]

- Do you see any speeders, Jed?

- Negative, Ed.

We're probably wasting our time here.

We're not gonna find any.

- That's a Roger.

Anyway, it beats working back at that shopping mall, right?

[crashing]

What do you think?

- That's a 703, alright.

[siren blaring]

Garfield: Get out of the way, help!

I'm sorry!

Look out!

Emergency brake?

Odie, I think that's it.

[grunting]

[siren blaring]

Harder, Odie!

Don't spare the puppy power!

[grunting]

[tires screeching]

- Okay, what's your hurry, pal?

Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all.

- Ed, this is a cat and a dog.

- I think you're right, Jed.

Guess we'll have to run 'em down to the pound.

[growling]

- Hey, this is a ticket made out to a John Arbuckle

and it's signed by a Patrolman Weevil.

- Weevil?

Isn't he that crook who was posing as a policeman?

Garfield: Back that way!

Listen to the cat!

- The cat seems to be trying to tell us something.

- Let's check it out.

It's starting to rain.

[thundering]

- You have to let me out!

My dog and my cat are in my car!

- Resisting arrest, littering highway with car roof,

unlawful modification of vehicle.

Oh, this is gonna cost you plenty.

If you pay the fine I might be able

to get the judge to go easy on you.

Oh, hi men, be with you in just a second.

The judge and I are real close and-- [gasps]

- You can go Mr. Arbuckle.

We'll run this phony officer in.

- You mean, he wasn't a policeman?

I'm not under arrest?

Garfield, you saved me!

How can I ever repay you?

An umbrella?

You want me to buy you an umbrella?

Okay, but I don't see why.

Okay, now I see why.

♪ 69 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

♪ 69 kettles of soup

♪ If one of those kettles I happen to eat ♪

♪ 68 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

[Odie howling]

♪ 68 kettles of soup on the heat ♪

[thundering]

[upbeat music]

Garfield: How fortuitous, someone was

kind enough to dig this hole for me!

I'll cover it with these branches

and play a little trick on Odie.

Here, boy!

Wanna bone?

[crunching]

Something is not right here.

Oh, no!

It's the old rubber hole gag.

[upbeat music]

[rooster crowing]

[slurping]

- That's right, it's me again, the weasel.

And I'm here for chicken takeout.

You better not tell anyone, you hear?

♪ The rooster takes a hen

♪ The rooster takes a hen

[laughs]

♪ Hi, h*, the dairy-o, the rooster takes a hen ♪

- Oh, Roy!

Let me tell you what I am doing.

- Must you?

- I must.

In an attempt to begin dealing with all

the things I fear, I have made a list of them all.

- No wonder there's a paper shortage.

- I will start with the A's.

Aardvarks, abacuses, abalones, abandoned anythings,

Abbott and Costello movies, abdomens,

able-bodied seamen, abodes, abominable snowmen.

Please, don't read over my shoulder.

Abraham Lincoln, abridged dictionaries, abrupt revelation.

- Pardon moi, ducky, but haven't you noticed

things around here are getting a bit, uh, moist?

- So we're at the bottom of the ocean.

Bottom of the ocean!

Bottom of the ocean, bottom of the ocean,

bottom of the ocean.

- It's not on your list.

- I'll write it in.

Bottom of the ocean, there.

Help!

Oh, help, I'm at the bottom of the ocean!

Oh, help, help, help!

Can't catch me in the middle of the sea!

I seem not to be getting any traction.

- Come on, Captain Nemo,

I think I know what's going on here.

- I'll hold my breath!

[gasping]

- [Weasel] Na, I didn't see what I

thought I saw out there, did I?

- As the explorers moved along

the ocean floor they could barely--

Hey!

- Let me see that!

Journey to the Bottom of the Sea, as I suspected.

When you get caught up in a book,

the rest of us get caught up in your fantasies.

- Can I help it if I have a vivid imagination?

- Yeah, but when you read a Western we have a stampede.

When you read a book about dinosaurs,

we have Tyrannosauruses here!

Last week you were reading a cookbook and I got

chased by two cups of flour and a pound of butter!

- It doesn't always happen like that.

- We can, well, just a minute.

Wade, breathe!

[exhaling loudly]

- Thanks.

- If your imagination's gonna run wild, let's enjoy it.

- Good idea, Roy.

We can imagine ourselves anywhere.

Like, I could imagine the barn as a storybook castle.

[harp music]

- And I can imagine myself as the handsome prince,

destined to rescue the beautiful

maiden from the evil witch's spell.

For the evil witch has condemned her to sleep

for all eternity, or until she receives

the kiss of love from a handsome

and charming prince such as yours truly.

Ah, fair maiden, despaireth not,

for you are about to receive the kiss that will awaken you.

Here it comes, sis.

[smooching]

- Why, Roy!

I didn't know!

- This is all just make believe?

- Just make believe, Wade.

None of it is real. - [Weasel] I don't know what's

going on out there and I don't care.

I just want chicken!

- You mean I could be anything I wanna be?

- In your imagination, at least.

- I could be strong?

- You could.

- I could be taller?

- You could.

- I could be brave and confident and self-assured?

- [Orson] You could.

- It'll never work.

- Imagination can't harm you.

- Wanna bet?!

- Try imagining you're someplace.

- Okay, here goes.

I will imagine that I am a cowardly duck

and I'm on a farmyard with my friend, Orson Pig.

[laughs]

It worked!

Well, I wanna start with something easy, you know.

- [Lady Animal] Kiss me again!

- [Roy] Not for all the corn on prime time television!

- It's chicken time!

- Wade, you are hopeless, you have no imagination.

- No imagination?

I can't even conceive of such a thing.

- I'm so frustrated I feel like slamming a door,

but there's no door around, so I'll imagine one.

[harp music]

[slamming]

- Orson is, as usual, right.

I need to put my imagination to work.

I will think of something and imagine

real hard to pretend it is happening.

Now, what should I imagine?

- Ah, the only one around is that craven duck.

But he sure won't give me any trouble.

- I will imagine that ugly weasel's stealing chicken.

Ah-ha, it's working!

Well, since it isn't real.

Well, Mr. Weasel, you have weaseled

your last chicken in this yard, sir!

- Outta my way, duck.

- Ooh, he even sounds like the weasel.

Oh, I'm so good!

Now watch this!

Gimme that!

And you've got until the count of one to get outta here!

One, your time's up!

Okay, plop goes the weasel!

- Hey duck, you back off, I'm warning you!

[gasping]

- Roy, what are you doing in here?

- Hiding.

Orson, can you imagine me a one-way ticket to Tibet?

- [Weasel] Help, stop, get away from me!

- You go away and stay away, you weasel, you!

- Uh, Orson, are you imagining Wade

chasing the weasel all over the farm?

- No, are you?

- No, I was hoping you were.

- Oh, come on, he needs our help!

- Wade or the weasel?

- Get off me!

- Not until you yell uncle!

And aunt and nephew and niece and

third cousin twice removed and--

[laughs] Oh, hi guys.

I was just imagining me chasing the weasel.

[laughs]

Pretty far-fetched, huh?

- Heh heh heh..yeah uh--

[whispering]

[gasping]

[stammering]

Ah... oh, it's the --it's the wea...

the weee...

the weasel!

- And I'll teach you

to interfere with my chicken plucking!

- Orson, do something!

- I'm trying to imagine something up,

but I can't concentrate.

- Here, try this.

- An old train schedule?

Well, okay.

- May I say a few words on my behalf?

- Um-- [train whistling]

Help!

Help!

- Orson, I guess I'm a failure as an imaginer.

I cannot face the real world, much less my imagination.

- Good reason to work on that imagination, Wade.

- Well, I guess everything worked out okay, except--

- [Lady Animal] Roy, darling, there you are!

- That.

See you around, guys.

- Roy, where are you going?

- [Roy] I'm gonna catch that train!

[upbeat music]

[groaning]

Garfield: Okay, dinner's over, time for some television.

I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.

I don't always watch TV after dinner.

Sometimes I watch TV during dinner.

A little variety keeps things interesting.

Uh-oh, Mission Control, we have a problem.

- Oh, Garfield, the cable's out.

Garfield: What's wrong with this thing?

- Did you hear what I said? The cable's out.

Garfield: Maybe it needs new batteries.

- Garfield, listen to me carefully.

The cable is out.

Garfield: The cable's out?!

No, say it isn't so, Arbuckle!

The cable can't be out, it can't be out!

What'll I do without the cable?

I won't be able to watch the All-Knitting Channel!

I'll miss my six hour documentary

on different ways of spelling ketchup!

- Garfield, I'm sorry you can't turn the TV on,

but maybe this will do just as well.

[grunting]

Garfield: No, this doesn't turn the TV on, either.

- Garfield, that's not a remote control.

It's a book.

Garfield: Oh yeah, I've seen these.

Any recipes in here?

- Maybe it's time you turned off

the TV and read a good book instead.

Garfield: You keep this kind of talk up and we'll both

be in the unemployment line right behind Binky.

- Read it while I go see about getting the cable fixed.

Garfield: Robinson Crusoe, by Daniel Defoe.

Oh, they did a TV movie about this Crusoe guy.

He was a sailor who got shipwrecked

all by himself on an island.

Well, I'll give it a shot.

- How soon can you come fix the cable?

- Let's see, we'll be out the week after next

sometime between 8 a.m. Monday and midnight Saturday.

You better stay home the entire time.

- Stay home all week?

- Yeah, if you're not there when we call

I'll just reschedule you for sometime in, uh...

Gee, I'm booked solid into next century.

- Next century?

You can't do this to me!

- Oh, sure we can, Mr. Arb-knuckle...

I'm afraid you don't understand.

We're your only cable company.

We can do anything we want to you!

Garfield: A ship was wrecked on an unknown island

off the northeast coast of South America.

Insofar as I could tell, I and I alone survived the wreck.

But at what cost?

Miles was I from any port and my heart

told me I might never see land again.

Turmoil upon the sea tossed me about.

I feared my tiny makeshift craft would be swamped

and I was also getting awfully darned seasick.

[wind howling]

- Please, you've got to fix my cable in my lifetime, please!

- Oh, alright, alright,

I'll stop off at your place on my way home.

But don't get used to this immediate

service business, okay?

- Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'll be your friend for life!

Thank you!

[grunting]

[panting]

[grumbling]

Garfield: Somehow, I was allowed to

escape through the high surf to the shore.

But little good it did me to find land.

Stranded on this strange island

I was no less lost than when at sea.

[thumping]

I was miles from home, miles from civilization.

Miles from a pizzeria with fast delivery boys.

Nothing but sand, tree and water

as far as the eye could see.

I was truly shipwrecked.

All alone on the--

Whoops! [thudding]

On my third day I discovered I was not alone.

I had previously supposed there was no life

on this island, at least not intelligent life.

[barking]

Now, I wasn't sure about the intelligent part.

- I hope Garfield's not suffering too much.

I don't know what he's up to,

and I don't think I wanna know.

Garfield: I've decided to name my new companion

after the most dismal day of the week.

I shall call him, Monday.

- Ah, my favorite spaghetti! [doorbell ringing]

Oh boy, the cable repairman is here already!

Garfield: Our quest for food has been--

[doorbell ringing]

Doorbell, on a deserted island?

You're getting loopy from hunger, Monday.

Our quest for food has been a dismal failure.

I feared that Monday and I would starve, but then...

[sniffing]

My keen sense of self-preservation

told me we might find food to the east.

- Well, congratulations, you're receiving

this month's house call from Monopoly Cable.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

- I'm gonna go climb the pole in the back.

Garfield: Monday and I were in luck.

We came upon a rare example of

the flower pasta fazulis marinaris.

[sniffing]

[grunting]

Garfield: Monday was enough lacking in taste

and sophistication to think that it

smelled like a plate of spaghetti.

My long denied taste buds quivered

as I dined on the delicate petals

of the pasta fazulis marinaris.

[whimpering]

You want some too, Monday?

- Yeah, yeah!

Garfield: Find your own pasta fazulis marinaris.

[gulping]

[thudding]

[panting]

I felt not quite secure as I surveyed the island

that would be my home, perhaps forever.

An eerie still tickled my sense of foreboding.

And then I saw it.

Local warriors had sent a lookout

high up into a tree to spy.

Clearly, it was the first step in a long and brutal battle.

I seized Monday [yelping] for I knew that

confrontation was inevitable and I was unarmed.

- Who ate my spaghetti?

Why did you ask that, John?

You know perfectly well who ate your spaghetti.

Any luck?

- Well, the problem's not up here.

I'm gonna come down and check your set.

[grunting]

Garfield: Good work, Monday.

I am rigging a clever rope trap

that will ensnare the invading warriors.

Od-- I mean, Monday, look!

We are under attack!

- Whoa!

Help! Ahhh!

[crashing]

Garfield: My trap ensnared our attacker

and ensured the safety of our island and, uh...

Look what you've done!

- That's it, I'm leaving!

- But you haven't fixed my cable!

- And I'm not going to.

We're not fixing your cable until the year 2043!

- When in the year 2043?

- I don't know yet, stay home all year.

Garfield: Well, you did give me the book.

- No cable, no TV.

What are we going to watch this evening?

I have an idea!

[panting]

Don't complain, guys, it's all we've got.

[machine rumbling]

Garfield: You know what the really sad part of this is?

This isn't that much less entertaining.

[upbeat theme music]

♪