04x15 - The Pizza Patrol/The Son Also Rises/Rolling Romance

[bunniefuu]

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [lively music]

♪ We're

♪ We're

♪ Ready

♪ Ready

♪ To

♪ To

♪ Party

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ I'm scared

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta

♪ Romancing, siesta

♪ Let's samba, La Bamba

♪ Ay caramba!

♪ Disguises

♪ Disguises

♪ Surprises

♪ Surprises

♪ And pies of

♪ And pies of all sizes

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

- When they invented television, this is pretty

much what they had in mind.

[lively music]

[drum music]

- Ten hut!

All right, men, as you know, the mission ahead

of us is a dangerous one.

You all have courage, stamina and guts,

but bicarbonate of soda, this is the craftiest

enemy we have ever faced!

Do you all understand our goal?

- [All] Yes, sir.

- [General] And what is our mission?

- To deliver pizzas to that cat.

- [Narrator] In the annals of heroism,

none have shown such bravery as those men

who face danger each and every hour,

just so the world may enjoy a large pepperoni

with extra cheese.

This, then, is the tale of the Pizza Patrol.

It was at this house that the Pizza Patrol

faced its greatest challenge.

[trumpet music]

- [General] I am addressing all of you who love pizza.

- Present, sir.

- I am General Mayhem, and if my men

can't deliver your pizza in 30 minutes,

then it's absolutely free!

- Pizza? Free?

- [General] Just call this number.

- [Narrator] In no time at all, the cat

had persuaded his owner to call.

- I'll call, I'll call.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

This is Jon Arbuckle, and I'd like

to order a large pepperoni and everything else pizza.

My address is 357 Shady Grove Lane.

[light music]

- Shmedlack!

- Mm, yes, sir?

- 357 Shady Grove Lane, and by golly,

you better step on it!

- Right away, sir.

[car speeding]

[light music]

- This is the super size of Wicky Wacky

Sticky Wicky Chewing Gum.

[energetic music]

[clock ticking]



- [Narrator] That was the first battle.

- You call yourself a pizza delivery man?

- [crying] I'm sorry, sir. [phone ringing]

I'm sorry.

- What is it?

- [Jon On Recording] Hello, this is Jon Arbuckle,

and I'd like to order a large pepperoni

and everything else pizza.

The address is 357 Shady Grove Lane.

- Your pizza's on its way.

Feebish, get in here.

- Yes, sir?

- 3-5-7 Shady Grove Lane, and move it, man!

- On my way.

[brakes squealing]

I'm gonna make it. [giggling]

I'm gonna make it.

I got plenty of time.

This has gotta be 357.

[gasps] 537, I'm on the wrong block!

[light music]

- Yeah, I know this is kinda cruel,

but let's remember that free pizza's involved.

- That's not 537, it's gotta be back this way!

[clock ticking]

- 31 minutes.

Too bad.

[sad music]

There must be a way to do this without

winding up with cold pizza.

- [Narrator] By now, the situation was becoming serious.

- General, please, I can't do it.

Don't make me.

Don't send me out there.

I'm too young to go!

- Get ahold of yourself, man!

You're a disgrace to your uniform.

Now, get out there and get a pizza to that house.

You're wasting time!

- I'll try.

I'll try.

- [Narrator] The last delivery man gave it his all,

but it wasn't enough.

[delivery man yelling]

[alarm click ringing]

- Missed again.

[delivery man crying]

- [Narrator] Finally, it was obvious.

Drastic action was necessary.

- You call yourselves pizza delivery men?

I'm ashamed of each and every one of ya!

[phone ringing]

Mayhem here.

Uh huh.

We're on our way.



- Oh no, not me.

I ain't gonna do it - No, please.

- Not me.

- Cowards, deserters!

Why, you disgust me.

All right, I guess I'll have to deliver it myself.

- [Narrator] Never was a man more determined

to get a pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

He headed directly for the cat's residence.

While at 357 Shady Grove, the cat prepared

the most diabolical stalling mechanism of all.

- Jon's always complaining he can't

get anything to grow out here.

But he hasn't tried Little Gem Ultra-Fast Plant-Gro.

Now, we wait.

[rapid music]

- Now, where was 3-5-7 Shady Grove?

[adventurous music]

- [Narrator] Single-mindedly, the general

hacked his way through the thick jungle.

- I didn't come this far to let some

overgrown weeds stop me!

- Ah uh uh uh uh! [coughs]

It's kinda pathetic the lengths

I'll go to for free pizza.

[whimsical music]

- Hey!

I have to deliver that pizza!

- I didn't think this would work.

I was right.

I gotta stop him from delivering that.

It's against my principles to pay for pizza.

- 29 minutes, I'm gonna make it!

- [Narrator] And he would have too,

but then he suddenly got a sinking feeling.

- What's happening here?

- You've just seen a demonstration

of Little Gem Instant Quicksand.

- [Narrator] General Mayhem was a tough customer,

but he knew when to surrender.

Peace terms were negotiated.

- That's one free pizza delivered every

Saturday night to Garfield Cat for the next year.

- Ahem.

- Oh, right.

No anchovies.

[paw splatting]

- [Narrator] This, then, has been the tale of how

peace was made with the one customer who

proved too crafty for the dedicated public

servants known as the Pizza Patrol.

- Hey, anyone out there know a Chinese

place that guarantees to deliver in 30 minutes?

I feel like an eggroll.

[light music]

[birds singing]

I will consult my book on bird calls.

Too-twit, too-twit, kll, kll.

Be-ew, be-ew, greeblenick, greeblenick.

Hmm, it's not working.

Maybe I nicked when I should have greebled.

[rock music]

[upbeat music]

[drum music]

[Roy marching]

- Good work, Roy.

We have to guard the chickens from that nasty weasel.

- That weasel won't stand a chance,

because I have the Little Gem Weasel Watcher,

made by the Little Gem Weasel Watcher Company

of Walla Walla, Washington.

- Well, keep an eye out anyway, just in case.

[Roy humming]

- [Wade] Help!

- Orson, why is Wade such a coward?

- Oh, it's not that he's really a coward, Booker.

It's just that--

- Help, it's a caterpillar, help!

- And like I said, it's not that he's--

- Help!

Chocolate pudding, help!

- It's not that he's a coward--

- Help, it's Tuesday!

Help!

- You're right, he's a coward.

- Oh, whoa, oh, dread.

Help!

- What is it now, Wade?

- Orson, it is the most awful, terrible,

scary, frightening thing in the world!

- You said that once when you lost a doughnut.

- My father is coming to visit me.

- That's great!

- That's awful!

My father thinks I am a brave and courageous duck person.

- But what gave him that idea?

- Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that I kept telling him.

[Roy marching]

- Who goes there?

- It's me, a chicken.

I am not a weasel.

I am a chicken.

- Oh, well, go right on in.

- Thank you.

[alarm rings]

- The weasel!

P ka pa, weasel.

- You won't stop me.

I'll be back.

- Score one for the Weasel Watcher.

- You lied to your father and told him you were brave?

- Oh, I would prefer not to think of it as a lie.

I would prefer to think of it as saying

something completely untrue so as to deceive another person.

Orson, you have to understand about my father.

Cue flashback.

My father is very brave.

His disappointment in me began the day

he tried to teach me to swim.

- Come on, son.

Time for you to learn to do what a duck's gotta do.

- Do I gotta do it in the water?

- Don't be afraid, son.

Why, water's wonderful.

[Wade screams]

- Does it gotta be so wet?

- You got to learn to swim, boy!

- Woo.

Whoa!

Help, I can't swim.

Help, help!

- The water's only an inch deep, son.

- Help, help, oh.

I disappointed him even more the day

he tried to teach me to fly.

- Son, where are you?

- Daddy, I'm afraid to fly.

- You're my son, and my son is going to fly.

- Oh, I don't like this.

- Fly, Wade, fly!

- Hey, I'm doin' it, I'm flying!

Hey, look, Dad, I'm flying, I'm.

Never gonna do that again.

- That was an awful first time flying,

but how many times have you flown in your life, Wade?

- Well, let's see, the next time I do it,

it will make two.

- [Man] Wade!

Where are ya, son?

- Oh, my father.

Orson, please don't let my father know

he has a chicken for a son.

Make him think I'm brave.

- Ah, there you are, son.

- [laughs] Oh, hi, Dad.

I was just discussing some of my

many courageous deeds.

- Oh, well, good to hear you aren't

a spineless coward anymore, son.

- Yeah, well, I thought I'd face a few

wild animals before lunch.

Or perhaps some skydiving.

- You'll be sorry.

[adventurous music]

- If I'm gonna get past that Weasel Watcher,

it's gonna take smarts.

- Like, how goes it, dude?

- Oh, hi, Bo.

[alarm rings]

Ha!

My Weasel Watcher saw through that pathetic

Bo disguise, weasel.

- Hey, I'm not the weasel, man.

- You are so the weasel, weasel. [laughs]

Now that I look closely, I can see

how weasely you are.

They don't come any weaselier.

- Hey, like, put that down, man.

- You can't weasel out of this one, weasel.

- Like stop.

Don't, Roy.

- That'll keep him busy while I pick out some chicken.

[Weasel Watcher buzzes]

- I can't wait till I get home to tell

everyone how courageous my son is.

Hey, that was that weasel again.

- The w-w-w-weasel?

- And it looks like he stole some chickens.

- Ch! [teeth chattering]

- Here's my chance to see my brave son in action!

- B-b-b-brave?

- Go get him, son!

- I will catch the w-weasel.

I will prove my courage.

I will make my papa proud of me.

Who am I kidding?

Where to hide, where to hide, where to hide?

Why, Dad, what are you doing in here?

- [Father] Well, I, uh, uh.

- I've got you now, you weasel in sheep's clothing.

- For the umpteenth time, man,

I am not the weasel.

- Ugh!

- Ha, ha, ha, no one can stop me.

- [Father] Get out there and catch that weasel, son.

- Y-yes, Dad.

- The weasel must be back, but where did he go?

- Look, over there.

- W-what happened?

- I think you caught the weasel, Wade.

- I caught the weasel?

- That's my boy!

My brave son caught the weasel.

- Yes, yes, brave I caught the weasel.

Brave me did that, and ha, oh, Father,

I cannot fib to you.

Your offspring is a craven coward.

I would never speak to me again if I were you.

- Son, wait.

Looks like you take after your old man.

You see, well, I'm a coward too.

- Y-you are?

I never knew.

- Well, a father can't let a son think

he's a coward now, can he?

Oh, I can't tell you what a relief it is

not to have to pretend anymore.

- Believe me, I know.

- Come on, we've got lots of things to talk about, son.

- Gosh, Wade did that whole act for nothing?

- Which is what most lies are worth, nothing.

Well, I think I'll get Roy to get this

weasel out of here before he comes to his senses.

Roy knows all about handling weasels.

- Come back here, weasel!

I know you're the weasel, you weasel!

- Of course, sometimes he does confuse them with sheep.

[upbeat music]

[gentle music]

- Quick, Odie, channel 99 is showing

King Kong Gets a Mohawk Cut.

Let me have the remote control.

It doesn't seem to be working.

Why doesn't this thing change the channel?

[brakes squealing]

This isn't the TV remote!

How 'bout that, I was trying to change

the channel with a garage door opener.

- I need to buy a new car, and soon.

I'm taking Marsha out tonight.

The only problem is, I can't really afford a new car.

- [TV Announcer] You say you can't afford a new car?

- That's what I said.

- Then come on down to Madman Murray's Miles

of Motorized Merchandise!

I am the stupidest car salesman in the world!

I sell new station wagons for $1.60.

I'm giving sports cars away for a dime!

At Madman Murray's, you don't need cash,

you don't need credit.

Madman Murray's habla espanol.

- That's where I'll get a new car.

We'll go to Madman Murray's.

[Odie whining]

- Right, Jon's forgotten what Madman Murray

did to him on last week's show.

I hope you folks are all taking notes.

- This is the car for you.

Let me tell you about it.

- I'll translate.

- This car is a steal.

- It's a stolen car.

- [Murray] It's a very clean car.

- We just fished it out of a lake.

- Well, I might be interested at the right price.

- Take my wallet, I'm a sucker.

- Oh, excuse me Mr. Madman.

- Not now, I'm selling a car to a dumb guy.

- Yeah, but that car, that's the car

that man returned--

- I know what he said, but that's ridiculous.

Well, let's talk price, shall we?

- Quick, Odie, places.

- Right.

- I can sell you that car for.

- Nice catch.

Jon does this all the time.

He once passed out when he saw

the rates on a parking meter.

- I hope you enjoy your new car.

- Oh, I'll enjoy the car.

The payments are another matter.

- Oh, by the way, it has that new

computerized voice alert.

You oughta try it.

- All right.

- [Car] Please, fasten seat belts.

- Oh, h*, h*, that's right.

- [Car] Your lights are on.

- Hey, the lights are on.

That's great, having that voice.

- [Car] Your door is open.

- Right again, my door is open.

- This is troubling.

I don't think a car should be smarter

than the person driving it.

- Okay, seat belts fastened, lights off, door closed.

- [Car] Your cat is overweight.

- Hey, how would you like a punch in the carburetor, car?

[Odie laughing]

- Thanks, Madman Murray.

- Mr. Madman, uh, I'm worried.

The man who traded that car in said--

- Don't be ridiculous.

How could a car fall in love with somebody?

[gentle music]

- [Car] Keys are in the ignition.

- Oh, that's right.

Boy, I really love this new car.

- I love you too, Jon.

- Nah.

[light music]

I'm taking Marsha out tonight, guys.

- Aw, too bad.

I always liked Marsha.

I've got two cheeseburgers that say

he's home by 9:15.

- You're on.

- Well, here we are, Marsha.

Say, how do you like my new car?

- Oh, it's very attractive, Jon.

- Well, so are you.

- [Car] Your date dyes her hair.

- What?

- [Car] Your date dyes her hair.

- Jon, that's not funny!

And I do not dye my hair.

- [Car] Your date is lying.

- Jon, I don't think this is funny.

- Marsha, don't go.

Marsha, I don't know anything about this.

- [Car] Your date's dress is ugly.

- That's it!

I'm walking home, Arbuckle!

- Marsha, I didn't do it.

Marsha?

Something must be wrong with this car.

- She wasn't good enough for you, Jon.

- Uhhh.

- Your car loves you, Jon.

- Uh, wh, whoa!

[tires squealing]

- Jon's date should be breaking up

at any minute, knowing him.

He'll be back with some silly excuse.

[door slams]

- Oh, hoo, hoo, my car's come to life.

It says it loves me, and it insulted my date.

And she left, and now, my car chased me

home and says she wants to marry me!

- What do you think of that one?

- Eh.

- It's more believable than most of Jon's excuses.

And you owe me two cheeseburgers.

[Jon gasping]

- It didn't happen.

- Why fight it, Jon?

[Jon screams]

- How did you get in here?

- I made a left turn at the bathroom.

Jon, you excite my pistons.

- You know that story about the car falling

in love with Jon is pretty silly.

- Um hmm.

[Jon yells]

- Leave me alone!

- Don't fight it, Jon.

This is a marriage made in Detroit.

- It'll never work.

You're too different.

He's a cartoonist, and you're a late-model sedan.

- I suppose you are right.

My true love deserted me,

left me for a glamorous job.

- Garfield, what am I gonna do?

- If we can reunite her with her true love,

that may solve everything.

Tell me about this true love.

- Well, he had a commanding voice,

a very authoritative presence.

- [Computerized Voice] The white zone is

for loading and unloading of passengers only.

- That's him.

That's Steve!

- [Steve] No stopping in the white zone.

- Steve, Steve, it's me.

- [Steve] Abigail.

Is it really, you?

- [Abigail] It's me, and I have missed you.

- [Steve] Oh, Abigail.

I have missed you too.

- This is so beautiful.

[Odie crying]

- [crying] We'll just leave them here together.

I'll get a new car, one that doesn't talk.

- Aw, we had a happy ending.

- This your car, pal?

You're not supposed to park in the white zone.

- Oh, I'm not parked.

I'm reuniting my car with her true love.

- Yeah, right.

I think you'd better come along with me.

- No, really.

My car was in love with me,

but we got her back together with her boyfriend and--

- Well, it was almost a happy ending.

Let's go have a joyous reunion with some pasta.

[Odie barks]

[gentle music]

[lively music]