01x13 - Bobby's Big Broadcast

[bunniefuu]

-Whoa.

That'll teach me to wear
bear feet in the morning.
Oh, hi.

What are you're doing here
so early in the morning?
I'm still in my pajamas.

We-- welcome to Bobby's World.

This is so embarrassing.

Beca-- because you know when
you get up in the morning
and you got-- you got eye crust.

You gotta get it out.

You really gotta
get it, because it's
been building up all night.

And then you guys are here,
and I gotta do the TV show.
Let me get it all out.

There we go.

But you're probably
not here to see me.
You're probably
here to see Bobby.
Right?

Hey, Bobby.

What are you doing up so
early on a Saturday morning?
-Silly.

I'm brushing my teeth.

I didn't get up early
just to brush my teeth.
Today is cartoon day on TV.

All day cartoons,
cartoons, cartoons!
Yippee!

-Wow.

That'd be great.

Cartoons all today.

Can you-- can you imagine-- can
you imagine being in a cartoon
all day?

Wait a second here.

What am I talking about?

I am in a cartoon-- I'm
in a cartoon all day.
What am I?

Nuts?

You-- you finish brushing
your teeth yet, Bob?
-Yup.

Cartoons, here I come!

[THEME MUSIC]

-Oh, criminitly, Bobby.

What's all that
G-darn noise anyway?
-It's not G-darn noise, Mom.

It's the Karate Gophers.

-Achoo!

-Wanna watch it with me?

-Oh, no thanks, honey.

All I want is for you
to turn the sound down.
You know, I'm just too sick
to deal with the Karate
Gophers right now, dontcha know?

-See?

That's the difference
between kids and grownups.
Kids are never too
sick to watch cartoons.
-I can't do this.

I'm sick.

I need some G-darn
peace and quiet.
Hello, Ted?

Howard has business meetings
all day, and I'm sick as a pig.
And the noise is
driving me crazy.
And you gotta get these
G-darn boys out of the house!
-Aw, jeez.

Uncle Ted, I don't wanna
spend the whole day
cooped up in some dumb museum.

-Me neither.

I'm gonna miss all
my favorite cartoons.
-Hey, we're gonna
have a great time.
Besides, the museum
gift shop is having
a sale on socks in a can.

Oh, I wanna pick
up a couple dozen.
They make great wedding gifts.

Now, remember.

You got any questions about
any of this stuff, just ask me.
Yeah, this was probably created
by a group artists known
as the Doowops during the
reign of Rama-lama-ding-dong.
-Gee, Uncle Ted.

How do you know all this stuff?

-I read the back
of cereal boxes.
-I wonder if this
thing comes off.
[KLAXON WAILS]

-Young man!

-Uh-- he did it.

-You should be
ashamed of yourself.
-Big brother's sure aren't
one of nature's better ideas.
-Sorry for the commotion.

Say, how about later
I take you to dinner?
You know, to make up for it.

-I'm sorry.

I really do have to
get back to my tour.
-Where we going, Uncle Ted?

-This is our salute
to television as art.
-Wow.

They've got enough stuff in here
to open their own TV studio.
-If I had my own TV studio,
I could make my own cartoons!
-Yes, Mr. Spielbob?

-Take a memo.

-Oh.

Thank you, sir.

-Now let's have a look
at my latest picture.
-Oh, sir.

Yes, sir.

-That's not the end, folks.

We'll be right back.

-And here we have
Pizzicato's famous canvas
entitled "Lost Love."

-It looks more like
a lost lunch to me.
-And you know he painted
the entire canvas
with one hand tied
behind his back.
-You don't say.

Wow.

That's fascinating.

Hey, you guys.

Isn't that fascinating?

-I wish I was at home
watching cartoons.
A TV!

Maybe it'll have cartoons.

TV: Welcome to your video visit
to the great artists of Canada,
eh?

Canada is a land of drama
from its majestic mountains
to the majesty of its famed
Canadian mounties, eh?
-But I wanted to see a cartoon.

NARRATOR: Tucked away in
the frozen Canadian Rockies
was the small town
of Slippery-When-Wet.
There was nothing particularly
special about this mining town
except its population which
was 101-- 100 men and one lady.
CROWD: Kelly Mae,
Kelly Mae, Kelly Mae,
Kelly Mae, Kelly Mae.

-Eh.

NARRATOR: And so it went.

Every performance Kelly Mae
Genteel would sing one note.
Her breadth of noses
would strum one exhale,
and the audience of lonely
fortune hunters would go wild.
But on this particular
day, the one man
that every miner
and his gold dust
feared more than all
else-- Yukon Lambast.
-Yukon Lambast?

-Oh boy.

-Zwei, drei, five,
[INAUDIBLE] I smell
ein scent of the Flussendamen.

NARRATOR: Firmly tucked
under Yukon's arm,
Kelly Mae was briskly
carried out of the saloon
and across the street
to an awaiting vehicle
piloted by two elderly
looking individuals.
-Who are they, and, like,
what is that contraption?
-Zose are my folks, and
that is my folks' wagon.
NARRATOR: Before you could
say, "no pun intended,"
Kelly Mae was being swept
across the rugged terrain
in the direction of Yukon
Lambast's wilderness hideaway.
-Yukon Lambast has stole
the town's only woman!
What do we do?

-I don't know.

How do look in a dress?

NARRATOR: Even as Lambast
and his delicate hostage
approached the villain's
makeshift abode,
he was already under observation
by a pair of concerned eyes.
But not just any eyes.

These eyes belonged to Bobby
Do-Good, Loyal Mountie.
-Once again it looks like
loneliness has driven Yukon
Lambast into a
temporary life of crime.
Kidnapping sweet Kelly
Mae is a definite no-no.
Let's save her.

Up, Roger!

On, big fellow.

To go up there would put Miss
Kelly Mae's life in peril.
But wait.

There is a safer
means of rescuing her.
We'll cause Miss
Genteel to come to us.
NARRATOR: Bobby had Roger
begin licking the mountain's
foothills, knowing good
and well that the feet
were always ticklish.

Sure enough, soon the
mountain began to quiver,
then wiggle, then bounce
up and down in reaction
to the tickling tongue
of Bobby's hairy steed.
-Vat is this?

It feels as if the
mountain is laughing.
NARRATOR: Lambast was
correct in his assumption.
But, moreover, Bobby Do-Good
was accurate in knowing
the violent shaking
of Lambast's hideout
would free the
c*ptive Kelly Mae.
-Saved.

Like, my hero.

-Normally after rescuing the
heroine, the hero kisses her.
But who wants to
kiss his sister?
Yuck!

NARRATOR: Tune in next time
for another exciting adventure
of Bobby Do-Good, Loyal
Mountie, in Bobby Do-Good
meets "Horse Thief Horace"
or "They sh**t Horaces,
Don't They?"

-Yo, Bobbo.

Come on.

Over here.

Hurry up.

Come on.

We're gonna go upstairs
and see paintings
from the Romantic Period.

Isn't that exciting?

Hey, wait a minute!

-Uncle Ted!

Uncle Ted said he
was going upstairs.
I better go upstairs too.

-Bobby!

-Uncle Ted!

Hi, Uncle Ted.

-Ready to continue your tour?

Really?

You're an art expert?

-Yeah, I can spot the
real thing at 50 feet.
Take that little
number over there.
Now that is an early--
uh-- cave painting marking
the beginning of-- uh--
the Rust Age, right?
-Wrong.

A chunk of plastic making the
entrance to the ladies room.
-Oh.

Well, then it's a ripoff.

They better have that checked.

-I wonder what Teddy Bear and
Bob-O are doing right now.
NARRATOR: Ah, weekends--
short holidays
from the hustle and
bustle of the work week.
Weekends, when city folk
pack up their families
and head for the
cool, clean, comfort
of the always green countryside.

But what's this?

Two bushes sneaking
across the park?
-Negative, Mr. TV narrator, sir.

It's me, Uncle Teddy Bear
and my spunky sidekick
Bob-O taking in the sights
and hopefully a few snacks.
NARRATOR: I might have known
Uncle Teddy Bear would be up
to his old tricks on a
nice weekend such as this.
-What do my eyes spy
but a beautiful picnic
lunch for you and I.

-Gee, I don't know, Uncle Teddy.

You know what Ranger
Sid told us about eating
campers' picnic lunches.

-No need to fret my
cautious little cadet.
Uncle Teddy Bear is
here, so stand clear.
Well, what have we here?

A teeny, tiny watch-canine type.

-Careful, Uncle Teddy.

He doesn't look like your
average, everyday puppy to me.
-Nonsense, Bob-O. Once I
have displayed my pension
for puppydom, he will be wrapped
around this lovable bear's
little, furry finger.

Kitchy, kitchy, kitchy.

Kitch-- eow!

Yow-wow-wow-wow-wow!

-Hey, you bears!

Put that harmless puppy
down right this minute!
-Harmless, he says.

Sheesh.

[CHUCKLING]

-Hey, trust me.

The laserium light
show is gonna be dorky.
it's gonna be terrific.

Hey, Bobbo.

You're gonna love
this laser show.
And don't believe all this
stuff they say about people
dying of fright from the noise.

-Dying?

Agh!

-Wow.

That was what I call
a megaton of fun.
Right, boys?

-Yeah right.

-I didn't have fun.

I'm not having any fun.

-You are such a dork.

-I wonder if I am a dork.

Hi, Roger.

I'm back from my
summer vacation.
I've really missed you
the past two weeks.
Maybe we could go to the
park together and play.
You know, kind of
get reacquainted.
-Hi, Bobby G. What
are you doing?
-I just got back from
my two week vacation,
and I'm trying to get
Roger to go play with me.
You know, get reacquainted.

-Gee, Bobby G., since
you were gone so long,
who fed Roger for you?

-That's what I forgot to do.

Rats.

-You're a real dork, Bobby G.

-Good grief.

-He's not a dork.

He's just a little
bit of a daydreamer.
That's all.

-A little bit?

That's all he does.

-As long as we're
talking about dreams--
uh-- wanna be the girl of mine?

-Sorry, I can't I'm married.

-Married?

You mean I wasted a whole day
getting culture for nothing?
-Come back and
see us again soon.
-Yoohoo!

Look who's back.

The three best-looking
guys in town.
-Yeah!

We got home in time for Pop-Oil?

-Oh no.

I'm sorry, honey.

It just ended.

But you were right.

These cartoons of yours
sure are fun to watch.
I had such a good
time, it almost
made me forget about
having the flu.
BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:
I missed Pop-Oil?
Aw.

It probably was
a great show too.
-Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

Thank you, dontcha know?

[MUMBLING]

-Carwashing sure has
its ups and downs.
Alley-oop.

OK, take her away.

-Hm.

Drive me out of
business, will you?
Why I'll show that little
runt once and for all.
-Next.

No!

-Why, thanks to you and your
carwash, I'm all washed up.
-We was competitors, and I
beat yas fair and square.
That's the business.

-Business, huh?

-Yeah, look it up in the book.

It's under Chapter 11.

-I'll give you the business!

-Whoa!

Well, blow me down.

Whoa.

I suddenly feel to
err is not so human.
I may be all soapy
and look kinda dopey,
but I'm Bobeye the fantasy man.

-Aw.

Now look at him.

He's just so G-darn
exhausted, yeah?
You know?

If I didn't know
better, I'd swear
he didn't spend a day in
a museum at all, you know?
I'd swear he'd been out having
some wild G-darn adventure.
-Aw.

Isn't that Little Goober cute?

Look at him.

He's all tuckered
out lying there.
Probably all the adventures at
the museum with-- with Uncle
Ted and Derek, it's probably
pretty tiring, right?
-Right.

-Hey, are-- are you asleep?

I thought I heard you talking.

-It's just your imagination.

-My imagination-- I thought I--
I thought I heard him talking.
Sometimes you hear things, and
my imagination is like that.
Isn't yours like that?

Look, I'm talking to you.

I'm imagining like
you're gonna answer.
Well, maybe you will.

But-- uh-- write us.

Next week we'll be back.

Bye, from Bobby's
World, from Howie.
Am I talking?

I don't know.

[ENDING THEME]