02x08 - Bobby's Birthday Bash

[bunniefuu]

-Hi, everybody, and
welcome to Bobby's World.
This is Howie.

See?

And, uh, this is
Bobby, over there.
I love making balloon animals.

That's why I made these
10 jellyfish on leashes.
That's not what it means.

In a few days it's
Bobby's birthday.
Are you excited, buddy?

-Am I excited?

There's gonna be
balloons, and there's
gonna be clowns and, and
people, and children, and fun
and games, and pin the
tail on the donkey,
and we're gonna have
a whole orchestra!
There's gonna be a
show, and there's
gonna be a-- there could
even be a real donkey.
It'll be great, and there's
gonna be a real donkey,
and with a tail, and we're
gonna put the tail on it, and--
-Oops.

Bobby?

Bobby?

[THEME MUSIC]

HOWARD: Bobby!

What did I tell
you about tossing
water balloons out the window?

-Uh-- uh-- oh, yeah.

You said you didn't
wanna see me do it.
-No, I said I didn't
want you to do it.
-Oh, yeah.

-Bobby, you shouldn't
be a good boy
just because somebody's
watching you.
And remember, buddy, your
birthday's coming up.
You want to have a nice
big party, don't ya?
-Dad, how many more
days until my birthday?
-Two.

-This many?

-That's right, Bobby.

1, 2.

Mwah.

Goodnight, Bobby.

Oh!

Sorry, Roger.

-Goodnight, Dad!

Gee, Webley, I don't wanna
forget how many more days
till my birthday,
so I'm just gonna
hold my fingers up like this.

Goodnight, Roger.

[SNORING]

-Wow!

Today's my birthday!

Boy, time flies when
you're having fun.
Look, no fingers.

Today's my birthday!

Roger, today's my birthday!

Yay!

Today's my birthday!

Cake!

Party!

Wow.

A remote control jeep.

And look over there!

More presents!

MARTHA: Bobby!

Stop that jumping now!

[SCREAMING]

MARTHA: Young man,
what did I tell
you about jumping on that bed?

-Did you ever notice how
much information parents
expect little kids to remember?

Come on, Roger.

Let's invite the g*ng
to my birthday party!
[MAKING CAR SOUNDS]

-Guys!

Guys!

Hey, guys!

Guys!

You wanna come to
my birth-- you wanna
come to my birthday party?

-Roger!

-Wanna come to my
birthday party?
-Yeah.

-Who wouldn't?

-How about you, Mitchie?

-Me, too?

Aw, sure.

I usually don't get
invited to parties.
-Whose party is it?

-Mine!

It's gonna be a lot of fun!

-I'm there.

-Me, too.

-I'll go, too.

When is it?

-Today!

-Today?

Is it a surprise party?

-A surprise party?

Sure!

That's a great idea!

Come on!

-Now breathe, dear.

Breathe.

Good!

Breathe.

That's good.

Now only four more to go, honey.

-No.

No, Howard, I--

-Breathe.

Breathe.

-Dad!

What are you doing?

-Well, I'm helping
your mother breathe.
Breathe.

-Oh, honey, we're practicing.

Lamaze breathing,
don't cha know?
For when the baby comes.

-Oh, Dad?

-Kids, we're in the middle
of something here, OK?
-Dad!

-What?

-Surprise!

It's my birthday!

-Bobby, what a dork.

-Oh, honey.

Today isn't your birthday.

You miscounted by a day.

Tomorrow is your birthday party.

-Oh.

Well then, I guess you
might as well go home.
There's nothing
more to see here.
-Oh!

Oh!

Oh, Howard!

-What?

Oh.

Oh, I think it's time.

-What?

Oh-- Derek, Derek, Derek!

Mom's overnight.

Get mom's overnight bag.

Kelly, you get the car keys.

No, no, no!

-OK, all right.

Uh-huh.

-Kelly, you get
the overnight bag.
Derek, get the car keys.
Wait!
Wait!
I've got the car keys.
Derek, call Uncle Ted.

-Yeah, but I thought--
didn't you say--
MARTHA: Uh, Howard?

-I was wrong.

There is plenty to see here.

-Howard?

-Come on, come on, let's go!

Get a move on!

We've gotta get her
to the hospital.
We gotta go to the
hospital now, now!
Now!

MARTHA: Howard?

Aren't you forgetting
something here now?
You done yet?

-Oh!

Uh-- uh-- gee!

Yes!

Of course.

You.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I help.

There you go.

Can't have a baby
without ol' mom.
-What about my birthday party?

-Oh, Bobby.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We can't have your
birthday party.
Your mom's going to
have a baby now, buddy.
I don't-- I'm sorry.

-Oh, Bobby, isn't this exciting?

Your mom's having a baby.

-Noogies!

-Uncle Ted.

Aunt Ruth.

-Uh, hi.

-Hey, kids, isn't this great?

Aunt Ruth and I are
going to be here
while your mom's at the
hospital having the baby.
-Can we play games?

-Oh, no, no.

We've got a lot of work to do.

Now, I'll start
tidying upstairs.
Now Ted, you're in
charge down here.
And no games.

-Sure, sure, sure.

Gotcha.

Hey, is she gone?

-Uh-huh.

-Come on, kids!

You know what time it is!

-Time for games!

-Time for games.

-Welcome back to the
World's Bestest Gladiators.
[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER: There's the horn
to start the final half.
ANNOUNCER: The only way
Bobby and Uncle Ted can knock
those pie cannons
out of comission
is to score a direct
hit with a pillow.
-OK, Bobby.

I'll draw their fire, and
you hit 'em with a pillow.
-No!

It's too dangerous, Uncle Ted.

-That is an order.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

[TAUNTING]

-Eat pie, Uncle Ted.

-How about that?

A direct hit.

-My opinion exactly.

Excellent strategy.

I would have done
the same thing.
-Oh, sure.

-I did it, Uncle Ted!

I hit-- Aunt Ruth?

-What is going on here?

-We're playing gladiators
with Uncle Ted?
-Well, destroying the
house is closer to it.
-Now, now, it's my fault, Ruth.

I was just trying to
cheer up Bobby, you know?
Missing his birthday party.

-Well, that's all
well and good, but I
think more appropriate
behavior would
be to get this hosue ready
for the new little baby.
Come on, now.

If everyone pitches in,
it'll take no time at all.
-How come whenever an adult says
it will take no time at all,
they mean it's gonna
take a long time?
I'm sorry, Roger.

I don't think you
need a bath, either,
but Aunt Ruth said I
had to give you one.
Anyway, you're lucky.

Dogs don't have
birthday parties.
Now, Roger, don't shake.

Roger, don't-- don't shake!

Ah!

DEREK: Bobby, get down here!

Mom and Dad are back!

-Come on, Roger!

Let's go see their new baby!

-Hi, Mom!

-Like, Mom, like, we cleaned up.

-Get her something to eat.

Get her some pie, or something.

-OK, everybody,
easy, easy, easy.
Honey.

Honey, that's it.

That's it.

Just sit right here, OK?

-Where's the baby?

Where's-- where's the baby?

-That's a load off.

-Gee, Mom, are you
peppermint again?
-Aw, isn't he the cutest?

Oh, honey, there's no
baby yet now, then.
It was just a false
alarm, don't cha know?
[BEEPING]

ANNOUNCER: This was a
test of the Generic family
Emergency Pregnancy System.

Had this been an
actual delivery,
a baby would have been
brought home at this time.
Uncle Ted would have
passed out cigars,
and dad would have
passed out period.
This was merely a false alarm.

And now back to your
regularly scheduled day.
-It just wasn't time yet.

-So what was it?

Gas.

-Oh, Ted, my stars!

-What?

What?

-The good news is,
sweetheart, that we
can have your birthday
party after all.
-Yay!

-Dad, can we go put--

-And I'm gonna get those bright,
and those black balloons.
And then I'm gonna put 'em up.

-People!

People!

Um-- Bobby?

-Yes, Dad?

-I hate to put a
damper on things,
but, uh-- I don't think
we can have the party.
-Dad!

-Why?

You got gas, too?

-Ted!

-What?

What?

I'm sorry, Bobby, but I figured
we'd be at the hospital,
and so we'd probably postpone
your party to another day.
So I, uh-- I canceled
the preparations
for your birthday party.

The decorations, the
cake, the enertainment.
I cancelled everything.

-Oh, Howard, that was
a bonehead thing to do.
-I know, dear, but--

-Hold it!

Wait one minute.

We're the Generic family.

We don't need others to do
what we can do for ourselves.
-Well, like, I
could bake a cake.
-A cake!

That would be good.

Cake is a good start.

MARTHA: That's a good start.

-Yeah, I could do that.

That I could do.

Yeah, I think I could do that.

-Hey, we could make our
own decorations to hang!
-And I'll get on the phone
and invite your friends
Jackie, Mitchie, and Warren.

-Sure!

We'll have a good time!

-This is great!

-Uh, Mom, uh, do we have to?

-OK.

Yeah.

All right.

-Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

I'll be the entertainment.

I play the accordion.

-Oh.

-Yeah.

-Uh--

-I-- I could do-- uh--

TED: Sure, that'd
be a great help!
See, now?

That's it.

That's the Generic
spirit I'm talking about.
Well, Bobby, what do you say?

-Let's party!

-Hey, Bobbo, bet
you didn't think
your party was going
to be this much fun.
Yep, Bobbo, see what you
can do with a little toilet
paper and a lot
of Generic spirit?
Turn your birthday party
into a real classic.
MARTHA: OK.

OK, everybody, take your seats.

I don't know where,
but the entertainment
is about to begin!

-I've gotta get backstage.

[CHEERING]

-Oh, is this thing on?

Uh-- everybody having
a good time so far?
[CHEERING]

-Uh, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Ahem, can everybody see OK?

-Yeah.

-Sure.

-Ah, OK.

Then, uh, let's start the show
with the musical virtuosity
of Bobby's Aunt Ruth.

-Thank you very much.

And a one, and a two,
and a three, and a four.
[SINGING] Oh, when the
saints go marching in, oh,
when the saints go marching in.

How I'd love to be in the number
when the saints go marching in.
Oh!

Was that too slow for you?

Oh, dear.

I didn't turn it on.

OK.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

[SINGING] When the saints
go marching in, oh,
when the saints go
marching Yeah How
I'd love to be in
the number, oh,
when the saints go marching in!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-Think your aunt will
play at my birthday party?
-Probably.

-And now I will attempt
to saw Derek in half.
-Neato.

-Now, don't be nervous, Derek.

Don't think this is
getting back at you
for not doing your homework,
or not doing the dishes,
or not going to bed on time.

Or losing my tools.

KIDS: Wow!

-What a great trick.

-It would be greater if Dad
couldn't put him back together.
-Boy, wasn't that great, huh?

Party!

-Party!

Party!

Party!

Party!

-OK.

Time to sing to Bobby.

1, 2, 3.

-[SINGING] For he's
a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow,
which nobody can deny.

-Yay, Bobby!

[CHEERING]

-Bobby, here.

Let me help you up here.

You're king for a day.

-Speech!

Speech!

Come on, Bobbo.

Speech.

-Speech!

-Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

-Come on, Bobby!

-With everyone chipping in to
make this great birthday party
today, I consider myself
one of the luckiest kids
on the face of the earth.

-OK, Bobby.

Before you blow out the candles,
you have to make a wish.
-And if you want to
mention me, it's OK.
-I could wish for world peace.

Uh, no.

A two-wheeler.

Uh, no.

I got it!

My own TV show.
"The Bobby Show!"
MARTHA: Oh, oh,
um, remember, hun.
Don't tell us your wish,
or it won't come true.
-Oh, that's right.

I told you parents expect kids
to remember a lot of stuff.
Well, here goes my wish.

[FANFARE PLAYING]

Uh, sorry.

It's gotta be a secret.

[CHEERING]

-First piece goes
to the birthday boy!
-Well, like, I followed
the directions, OK?
-Told you we should
have bought one.
-Shut up.

-It's good.

-I told you.

-Well, you know, we should've
bought one still, you know.
-Oh, just put a
sock in it, Derek.
-OK, it's time for presents.

[CHEERING]

-Wow!

A Captain Squash costume!

And look, look, a belt,
and ray g*n, and a cape!
Wow!

This is my favorite
thing in the whole world.
Where'd you get this, mommy?

-Well, we got it on the
way back from the hospital!
-What?

-Remember, Howard?

The hospital.

-The hospital?

The hospital!

Derek!

Derek!

Derek!

The hospital, get your
mom's overnight bag.
-Howard.

-No, Kelly, Kelly,
you get the car keys.
No, Kelly, you get
the overnight bag.
Derek, you get the car keys.

-Howard.

-Derek, Derek, call Ted.

Oh, Ted, here you are!

Here you are!

Bye!

Bye!

-Howard.

-No!

We gotta baby--

-Howard.

-Bye.

-Maybe it's good we only
have birthdays once a year.
They're pretty hard on parents.

Dad!

Dad!

[SHOUTING]

-Howard, come back!

[SOBBING]

-I'm so sad.

-Howie, what's wrong?

-Oh Bobby.

-Why so down?

-It's just, you know, the end.

It's the end of a show,
and you-- you meet people,
and you do a little
show, you get along,
you grow attached to people,
to the audience at home,
and you just-- you
just-- And then
it comes to the end of the show.

I know that you'll be
back, you'll be back,
but it's just so hard.

It's so hard at the end
of a show, just for me.
For me to say good--
good-- good-- fare-- I ca--
I ca-- I can't say it!

I can't say it, Bobby!

I can't!

-Never mind.

Bye.

[MUSIC PLAYING]