04x09 - The Smell of a Tattletale

[bunniefuu]

-Hi, everybody.

Welcome to "Bobby's World."

-Stop everything.

Howie's not standing

in the right place.

DIRECTOR: Thank you, Bobby.

Howie, move over.

-Sorry.

This is so weird.

-What is?

-This is exactly what

today's show is about.

-Not standing in

the right place?

-No.

Tattletale.

-Sorry.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Well, jiminy sakes, Bobby, you

could grow potatoes back here.

-Is that a good thing?

-Well, not if you want

to make a good impression

on your first day in your

carpool, don't you know.

-A carpool?

[CAR BEEPING]

[BELCH]

-Uh, like I hope

they're having fun.

DEREK: So, your

first carpool, huh?

Look, you little

dweebmeister, a carpool

is when other moms

drive you to school.

And carpool moms are the worst.

They treat you all nice

in front of your family,

but the second you're out of

the driveway, they turn on you.

-What?

-You know that big

bunch of pictures

they have up in the post office?

-Yeah.

-Well, those are just the

most wanted carpool moms.

MARTHA: Hurry up

there, now you two.

You're going to be

late for school.

-Thanks, Mom.

I was just telling the squirt

all about how carpools worked.

-Oh, that is so sweet.

Did you thank your

big brother, Bobby?

-Uh.

Thanks, Derek.

-Now, you be good for Mrs.

Danforth, Bobby, don't you

know.

[WHIMPERING]

Uh-huh, bye, bye.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Danforth.

Thanks a bunch.

Bye, bye, Bobby.

You're my little mansy.

-How come other people's

cars always smell yucky?

Can I open the window?

-No!

That is, why don't you let

me do it for you, Bobby?

-OK.

-It took her a whole day

to set those buttons just

where she wants them.

She goes crazy if

anybody touches them.

-She does?

[BELL RINGING]

-As soon as you're out of the

driveway, they turn on ya.

MRS. DANFORTH: Stay right

where you are, boys.

I'll be back in a flash.

-Where's she going?

Where are we?

-Hello, Mrs. Danforth.

-Merrilee Klatczko's house.

Guess what.

I'm going to have a Captain

Squash birthday party.

-Wow.

Really?

-Yep.

That's cause I'm the

biggest Captain Squash

fan in the whole world.

-Well, I'm the

biggest Captain Squash

fan in the whole universe.

-Oh yeah?

Bet you don't know

the secret number

for the Captain

Squash joke line.

-Oh yeah.

There's a Captain

Squash joke line?

-Yep.

[PHONE RINGING]

CAPTAIN SQUASH [ON

PHONE]: Hi, kids.

This is Captain Squash speaking.

Welcome to my super special

just for you joke line.

-It's really him.

OPERATOR [ON PHONE]: If

you wish to continue,

press the star button on

your touch tone phone.

There will be a charge of

$1.95 for the first minute.

CAPTAIN SQUASH [ON

PHONE]: OK, kids.

Are you ready for Captain

Squash to pull your legume?

BOTH: Yes!

CAPTAIN SQUASH [ON PHONE]:

Tickle your funny bean.

BOTH: Yes!

CAPTAIN SQUASH [ON PHONE]:

Make you laugh until you feel

like a pea.

BOTH: Yes!

CAPTAIN SQUASH [ON

PHONE]: All right then.

Here it comes.

Today's joke, just for you.

And boy is it funny.

Two carrots walk into a salad

bar, which is pretty silly

because the first

carrot should have a--

OPERATOR [ON PHONE]: If

you wish to continue,

press the star button on

your touch tone phone.

There will be a charge

of $4.95 for each minute

beyond the first minute.

BOTH: OK.

MRS. DANFORTH: So

what were you boys

doing while I was

talking to Miss Klatzko?

BOBBY: Rodney called up

Captain Squash joke line,

and there was this

really funny joke.

You want to hear it?

Uh-oh.

This is the part

Derek told me about.

I'm really sorry, Mrs. Danforth.

Please don't hurt me.

-Oh, don't be silly, Bobby.

You didn't do anything wrong.

You're an honest little boy.

Mrs. Danforth likes

honest little boys.

As for you, Buster, just wait

til your father gets home.

-Tattletale.

-Mrs. Danforth called

last night to set

some play dates

for you and Rodney.

Would you like that, Bobby?

-Sure.

MARTHA: She said she's really

looking forward to seeing you

the next time she

drives you to school.

-Next time?

Isn't she driving me today?

-Of course not, hun.

In a car pool all the

moms take turns driving.

-All the moms?

But that means.

-New day, new mom.

[KNOCKING]

-Ahh!

MRS. KLATZKO: Hi, I'm Trudy

Klatzko, Merrilee's mom.

And this must be Bobby.

Mrs. Danforth told

me all about you.

-She-- she did?

-You must be so proud.

Bobby wouldn't be free to play

with Merilee this afternoon,

would he?

-Well, of course.

Let's see-- let's

have a looksy here.

-Oh yeah.

Check the schedule.

-Oh no, no, no wait.

You know, sorry.

MRS. KLATZKO: How's a--

-No.

Mrs. Dan-- um, Marilyn.

-Oh yeah.

-She asked for the

Tuesdays and the--

-How's Wednesday?

-Well, we can work

something out there.

-Well, why don't you just

put me down for Mondays?

-I'll pencil you in.

-I used to like Bobby.

-How come he has to

be in our carpool?

-I told you he was a tattletale.

-What is it, Bobby?

-I'm membering things.

OK.

Rodney ate a cookie

out of his lunchbag.

Uh, Merrilee picked her

nose, but she put it back

when she saw that I was looking.

-Oh, you are such

a good little boy.

I'm going to make you my

official carpool monitor.

Now, don't forget you've got a

play date with my boy, Buddy,

after school.

-Gadzooks.

I didn't say anything

about what Buddy did.

Oh no.

I hope Mrs. Melina's

not mad at me.

I don't want her to-- to--

-Turn on you.

JACKIE: You can't hide from me.

Long time no see.

What have you been doing

with yourself, Bobby?

-I'm trying not to let the

carpool mothers get me.

[CHALK SCRAPING ON BLACKBOARD]

Mrs. Melina wants me to

be her carpool monitor,

but what does that mean?

Well, I guess the only way to

keep her from turning on me

is to keep doing

what I've been doing.

Uh-huh.

-Hey, Bobby.

-Hey, Buddy.

-Well, see ya.

-See ya.

Uh-huh.

Uh, OK.

Buddy didn't wash his hands

after he went to the bathroom.

And uh, yeah, he sneaked

bites of his banana

before snack time.

And uh, and while we

were coloring turkeys

some of his yellow

went outside the lines.

-Uh, thank you, Bobby.

That's very thorough.

-OK.

So what do you want to play?

-Oh, why you.

BOBBY: Buddy looks kind

of red, Mrs. Melina.

Uh, maybe you should

take his temperature.

-Let's see.

We pick--

BOBBY: Hey, guys.

Over here.

Yoohoo.

BUDDY: Betty.

-Betty?

She's terrible at dodgeball.

I wonder why they picked her.

Ow.

Instead of me.

-You two play

outside for a while.

You let me know if there's

any problem, Bobby.

Right?

-Sure, Mrs. Klatzko.

I'll do anything

to keep a k*ller

carpool mom from turning on me.

-What a weasel.

-What a responsible little boy.

MERRILEE: Hey, Bobby.

I got a great idea.

Let's play Hide

and Seek, America's

number one most favoritest game.

-Yay.

-You go hide.

And I'll look for you.

OK.

-OK.

-One, two, three--

-Merrilee!

[DOG BARKING]

It's starting to get dark.

I think it's time for

me to go home now.

MARTHA: Now, Ted, you're

sure you wouldn't rather

take care of the twins while

I drive the kids to school?

[BURP]

-Oh, that's a stain.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pretty sure.

Yuck.

-Uncle Ted's driving today.

-Yeah, yeah.

Come on, Bob-o.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Before she changes her mind.

Let's go.

Before she changes her mind.

Come on.

Come on.

-Hi, Rodney.

Hi, Merrilee.

Hi, Buddy.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Hey, who wants to hear a

new Captain Squash tape?

-Not me.

-No.

-No thanks.

-But, but you

haven't heard it yet.

And, and Rodney's having a big

Captain Squash birthday party.

RODNEY: That's right.

And it's going to

be lots of fun too.

BUDDY: Yeah.

That's right.

It's going to be a blast.

MERILEE: Mhm.

That's right.

-Hey, I got another idea.

Uh, uh, let's sing the

panda bear song from school.

MERILEE: Don't think so.

BUDDY: Don't remember it, pal.

-Hey, you guys, what time

does school start anyway?



I always thought it

was 10:00 o'clock.

Here, I better write

you some excuses.

No wonder you kids

get up so early.

You got to be here at 8:00.

You know, this could

explain some of my grades.

I probably missed

a lot of classes.

-Bye, bye.

-So long.

-Hey, wait for me.

ALL: No.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

BOBBY: Uncle Ted, I

have a bad feeling.

UNCLE TED: Aw.

-I think Rodney, and

Merrilee, and Buddy

don't like me anymore.

-No.

That's crazy, Bob-o.

What's not to like?

-I don't know.

-I mean you're fun

to play with you.

You're good at sharing.

And it's not like you're a

tattletale or anything, right?

-Tattletale?

UNCLE TED: Yeah,

you know, Bob-o.

A fink, a stool

pigeon, a weasel,

a rat, a squealer, a canary.

You know.

-I-- I don't think so.

-Of course not.

Because nobody likes

a tattletale, Bob-o.

And I'm telling you,

those guys like you.

Hockey shockers, you

know what time it is?

-Time for noogies.

UNCLE TED: Time for noogies.

-Bye, Uncle Ted.

Why does Uncle Ted think noogies

always make you feel better?

I feel the same.

Only now, my head hurts.

-I got an invitation to

Rodney's Captain Squash party

in my cubby.

-So what?

Everybody did.

-What's the matter, Bobby?

BOBBY: I think maybe

I'm a tattletale.

Whatever that is.

-So you finally figured out

that you were a tattletale, hm?

-Yeah.

I guess I am one.

I just wish I knew

what it is that I am.

-Self-doubt is a

natural part of a

healthy psychological evolution.

-What does that mean?

-Don't know.

It's just something my

mom heard on Sally Jesse.

Bobby, can I come down now?

-Oh.

Sorry.

-Ow.

BOBBY: Bye.

Bye, Mrs. Klatzko.

Thanks.

-Hi, Mom.

-By the way, Martha,

is there something

wrong with Bobby's backside?

-I don't see any tattletale.

MARTHA: Bobby?

Are you OK now,

there, then, yet, huh?

-Uh-huh.

-Oh, just taking a nap?

-Uh-huh.

-Ah, well, wouldn't you be

more comfortable in your PJs?

-No.

-All right then.

I'll just wake you for din-din.

-But if it starts small

like a freckle and grows,

what does the rest of

a tattletale look like?

UNCLE TED: You know, Bob-o.

A fink, a stool

pigeon, a weasel,

a rat, a squealer, a canary.

HUNTER: By George, I knew it.

It's the only

weasel-nosed rat fink

canary squealer in captivity.

He's definitely a male.

Roughly five years old.

And if he stands up,

you'll see his tattletale

is just starting to come in.

MARTHA: Oh cheer up

there now, Bobby.

We're having your favorite

tonight, don't you know.

Rump roast.

-Now, we will be seeing you

at the party this weekend,

won't we?

Of course, if it's

inconvenient for Bobby,

we'll just reschedule.

-Well, you didn't tell me about

any gee golly party, Bobby.

-I didn't get avited.

-Don't be silly, Bobby.

Of course, you're

avited, um, invited.

I addressed your

invitation myself.

And Rodney?

-I guess I must

have lost Bobby's.

-Oh yeah.

Mhm.

Probably lost it.

BUDDY: Yeah.

MARTHA: Well, see there, huh.

Everything's fine.

You're invited to

Rodney's party after all.

Isn't that great?

-Yay!

For a while there,

I thought you guys

were mad at me or

something-- ahh!

-So that's where my

samurai sheep went.

-I hate this party.

I want to go home.

-Very nice party, Mrs. Danforth.

-Oh, why thank you, Jackie.

-Gee, Bobby, you

must feel really bad.

-Why?

-Because Rodney told me

you were a tattletale

and he didn't really

want you here.

-Now, I feel bad.

-Uh-oh.

I better go tell Mrs.

Danforth, Nicky snuck a taste.

-See.

You are to a tattletale, Bobby.

-No.

I'm not.

I'm just going to

tell the truth.

Mom, Mom, Nicky sticked

his finger in the frosting.

-Hey, hey, hey, reign

it in there now, hun.

Was he doing anything

that would hurt anybody?

-No.

-Well then, telling on him

would just be tattling,

don't you know.

-This is great.

I learned two portant things.

What a tattletale

is and that it's

OK to stick my

finger in frosting.

MARTHA: Bobby,

don't you even think

of touching that frosting.

-Guess I only learned one thing.

-I'm Captain Squash.

-No, sir.

I'm the real Captain Squash.

You're a bad guy.

BUDDY: A ha.

-A ha.

-Wow.

That's dangerous.

-Buddy, what in the world

were you boys thinking?

You could have hurt yourselves.

-Or the furniture.

Oh, thank you, Bobby,

for coming to tell me.

-OK.

-Yeah, Bobby.

You did the right thing.

We were being stupid.

But I still don't

like you, because you

used to be a tattletale.

-But now that I

know what one is,

I'm not going to be one anymore.

-I believe you, Bobby.

Want to come outside and play?

-OK.

Thanks for being

nice to me, Merrilee.

Rodney still hates me.

-Oh, don't worry about that.

He'll like you again as

soon as it's present time.

-A ha.

Mrs. Danforth.

-Don't you just

hate tattletales.

-Well, that was our show.

-Stop everything.

Howie's not standing

in the right place.

DIRECTOR: Thanks again, Bobby.

Howie, please move over.

-Sorry.

Didn't you learn anything

from today's show?

-Yes.

Not to be a tattletale.

-That's right.

So that means you don't tell on

somebody unless it's important

or unless it could help them.

-That's right.

-So how does that help me?

-Wasn't that where you

were standing, Howie?

-Sorry.

[THEME MUSIC]