04x13 - Bobby, the Musical

[bunniefuu]

-Bobby.

Do you like music?

-Sure I do.

Why?

-Because today's show
is filled with music.
-Great.

And do you love tuna?

-Sure.

Why?

-'Cause today, your
pants are filled with it.
[SQUISHING]

-Ew.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Captain Squash is too
the bestest super hero.
He's real strong, and-- and--
and he beats up bad guys.
-So?

-And-- And-- And he's
got a really neat outfit.
JACKIE: Compared
to Wonderful Woman,
Captain Squash is just
another vegetable, Bobby.
She has a job,
and she's a mommy,
and she still makes time
to fight for world peace.
So there.

Wonderful Woman wins.

-Does not.

Jackie?

What makes thunder?

-My mommy says that it's
God playing the drums.
-It is?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-I don't know.

To me, it sounds kinda
like Uncle Ted's tummy.
-Maybe what it really
is is a giant burping.
-Yeah, maybe.

[MUMBLING]

WOMAN: Big, old
fat giant of mine.
[MUMBLING]

So, Mr. Giant Pants,
Mr. Big Stuff.
You finally decided
to come home.
Oh, you sneaked out for
all you can eat night
at Bert's Bean House
again, didn't you?
[BURPING]

-Oh, for corn's
sakes there, now.
Why don't you just sit
down here and relax, hun?
-Don't waste your breath, mom?

The little dweeb's a baby.

A baby who's scared of thunder.

-I am not scared, Derek.

I'm just keeping Mom company.

-Aw, don't you worry
about a thing, Bobby.
Look what I've got.

Your favorite snack.

Cream chip chicken
on a fiber cr*cker.
[BOOMING]

-Uncle Ted.

-Hey there, Bob-O.

-Uncle Ted.

Are you scared of thunder too?

-Wh--Why do you ask, Bobbo?

-Whoa.

Easy there, Ted.

-Like, this is so ridiculous.

George just called.

He, like, totally cancelled
our date, just because, like,
it's completely
pouring outside and he
doesn't want to get his car wet.

I ask you, do I need this?

-Tell me about it.

They called off my skateboard
tournament because of the rain.
Now what am I supposed
to do all day?
-Daddy, I don't like it
when the weather's so loud.
-Hey, hey, hey.

Cheer up, everybody.

I've got a great idea.

We'll spend the
whole day together,
having fun as a family.

-Ugh.

Like, no way.

-What?

-Huh?

-Come on.

It'll be great.

We'll have a family day.

-What's a family day, dad?

-Well, it's a whole day of being
together, playing family games,
singing family songs.

-No offense there, Howard,
uh, I gotta be honest.
It sounds kinda boring.

[THUNDER] I'm in, let's sing!

Come on, let's sing!

HOWARD: Come on, everybody.

[SINGING] Shore.

How a lo-- come on.

Let's have fun with it.

Right.

-Like, this is totally no place.

-I know!

Let's play charades.

I'll start.

MARTHA: First word!
HOWARD: One.
Uh--

-One.

-OK, first-- first word.

-Is it one?

Oh, Bobby.

-Right!

Right!

I'm thinking of one thing.

I'm good at this game, huh?

I'm thinking about the time
me and Uncle Ted camped out
in the backyard, and
the sprinklers came on.
TED: Oh, gosh darn things.

-Good morning, Uncle Ted fish.

-Good morning, Bobby fish.

-It sure is neat
camping underwater, huh?
-I don't know.

I don't think this
aquatic living
is all it's cracked up to be.

I mean, what's so
great about it?
I'd like to hear
one good reason--
uh oh, I shouldn't
have said that.
-[SINGING] Now underwater,
nothing smells bad.
That's why underwater is
the best time you'll have.
No matter how deep down
in the water you sink,
the beautiful thing is
those fish don't stink.
-Rocking where the
fish don't stink, yeah.
-Fish don't stink.

Underwater the fish don't stink.

-Bobby, you smell something?

-Not down here.

-Maybe it's just me.

You mean nothing smells?

Sharks, squid, a nice smelly--

-Now hold up, hold up, hold up.

Bobby, get busy.

-Now, Roger's leaves
a terrible odor.
-Oh, yeah.

-Especially now that
he's getting older.
-Mm-hm.

-But underwater he can
come right up to your face.
-Go ahead.

-I'm telling ya, that's
the beauty of this place.
It don't stink.

-Underwater the
fish don't stink!
-Come on, Bobby.

Sing with us.

-OK!

-Fish don't stink.

Underwater the fish don't stink!

-Take it, Ted!

-No offense, but this family
day thing kinda sucks.
I'm gonna go watch TV.

-But--

-Like, I'm going
to go tease m hair.
-But I was thinking
maybe we could--
-Aw, you know what
I was thinking?
I think I'll check on the twins.

-Good idea, Martha.

And I'll make some
snacks for everybody.
How about chili cheese fries?

I'll get 'em.

-What do you wanna do now, Dad?

-Good grief!

The place is filling up
like a swimming pool.
We'll be lucky if
we don't all drown.
-Hey, Dad, this reminds
me of the time when Derek
saved my life, when
I was drownign.
And-- look at my face.

I'm not smiling.

I'm frowning.

That's because a minute
ago I was almost drowning.
I really like living, and
I don't wanna blow it,
but I climbed on a diving
board and jumped off.
You didn't even know it.

Hit it, Mark.

Now!

[SINGING] I was at the
bottom of the pool.
I don't recall how long.

I guess it must
have been a while,
cause I had time
to write this song.
-He was at the
bottom of the pool.
He doesn't know how long.

But it must have
been a while, cause
he had time to write this song.

-I'm just a little boy,
so I wanted my mother.
But just in time,
Derek saved me.
He's my brother.

-Yes, we know.

-I was at the
bottom of the pool.
I don't recall how long.

I guess it must
have been a while,
cause I had time
to write this song.
My brother is my hero.

And I truly do love him.

And I don't know
how to repay him.
If only I--

DEREK: Stop singing,
you little dweeb!
-Dad, I think I'm getting
kind of bored with family day.
-OK, fine.

Just forget family day.

It was a bad idea.

You do whatever you
want to do, and I'll
just go-- press some pants!

[THUNDER]

BOBBY: Ah!

Come back, Dad!

I think I'm done being bored.

Dad?

Can we have family day?

Can we?

Please?

Can we?

Can we?

Dad?

-Yeah, can we, Howard?

Please, can we please?

-Aw, come on, Ted.

Give me a break.

-Get off, dweeb.

-Like, can't we
all just get along?
-Kelly's right.

Just because the lights are out
doesn't mean we can't have fun,
don't cha know?

Hoo hoo hoo.

We're gonna tell some
gee golly ghost stories.
That's what we're going to do.

-Great idea, Mom.

I'll start.

OK, OK.

Once upon a time, there was
a seriously demented k*ller
skeleton.

-I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

[SINGING] I'm not scared.

It's all in my head.

It's only make believe.

And I gotta believe what I said.

There is no monster
or man eating mouse.
And even if there is, they're
not coming inside my house.
I gotta be brave.

I gotta be strong.

Whenever I'm scared,
I just sing this song.
-He tries to be brave, he tries
to be strong, just listen,
you'll hear.

He sings all night long!

-I'm not scared.

It's all in my head.

It's only make believe.

And I gotta believe what I said.

[LAUGHTER]

-But I'm just a kid.

[SCREAMING]

-Oh, Bobby, don't
get your shorts
in a twist there now, hon.

Help me out here, Howard.

This ghost story thing
is going south on me.
-I know exactly
what to do to get
some life back in
this party, Martha.
We're going to play
America's number
one home game,
hide and seek, huh?
-Yay!

I get Uncle Ted!

-Ugh.

Like somebody was going
to fight you for him.
HOWARD: OK, everybody, ready?

Set?

Go!

1, 2, 3.

Ready or not, here I come!

-Great, Uncle Ted.

You fitted.

-Whoa, Bobbo.

Uncle Ted's a little
bit out of shape.
-I wonder what shape Uncle
Ted's supposed to be?
Are you making that
noise, Uncle Ted?
-No.

[SCREAMING]

-Roger!

Look, Uncle Ted, Roger
was already hided in here.
TED: He was probably
just trying to get
away from the storm, Bobbo.

Stuff like that can
really spook animals.
Can't believe 'em,
shaking in their shorts.
-But I thought animals
didn't wear underpants.
[SINGING] To be an animal would
be better than being a boy.
Just the thought of it,
it fills me with joy.
There's so many reasons,
so hard to resist.
There's one main reason
at the top of my list.
Animals don't wear underpants.

-We are left to run free!

-They have nothing
on above the knee!
Animals don't have to change
a thing just to stay clean.
The only embarassing
thing about no underpants
is everything is seen.

-Oh my.

-But I'm not an animal.

You can tell that with ease.

I guess I'll spend the
rest of my life in these!
I think Roger's getting bored.

What should we do until
dad finds us, Uncle Ted?
-I got news for you, Bobbo.

We're-- We're not gonna wait
for your dad to find us, uh uh.
We're getting out
of here right now.
Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh dear.

That's a problem.

-What's wrong, Uncle Ted?

-The door's stuck.

I think we're trapped
in here, Bobbo.
We're trapped!

BOBBY: Uh oh.

Are we in trouble?

Don't worry, Uncle Ted.

Dad'll be here soon.

Whenever we play hide and seek,
he's always the best finder.
-Come on!

Wake up and smell
the decaf, Bobbo.
We're lost.

They've forgotten all about us!

We're doomed.

I'm young!

I have so much to live for.

Who-- Who knew it
would end up like this?
Trapped in a closet.

Drowning in a sea of dog spit.

-Don't be sad, Uncle Ted.

I know how to make
you feel better.
-How?

-I'm gonna sing you a song.

-Oh.

-And it goes
something like this.
[SINGING] If you're happy and
you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands.
Yeah!

If you're happy and you know it,
and you really wanna show it.
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands.
Clap, clap!

If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet.
If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet.
If you're happy and you know it,
and you really wanna show it.
If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet.
Yeah!

If you're happy and you
know it, yell hooray.
Hooray!

If you're happy and you
know it, shout hooray.
Hooray!

If you're happy and you know it,
and you really wanna show it.
If you're happy and you
know it shout hooray.
Hooray!

If you're happy and you
know it, do all three.
Clap, clap, stomp,
stomp, hooray.
If you're happy and you
know it, do all three.
Clap, clap, stomp, stomp--

-Bobbo, I love
you like a nephew,
but you gotta stop singing.

It's making me nuts.

-Oh, OK.

So, what do you
wanna do instead?
-Do?

I'll tell you what
we're gonna do.
We're breakin' outta here!

-I think I found them.

-Oh, that's a sprain.

-I can't believe it.

Like, I am having a
totally good time,
and, like, I'm having
it with my family.
-I'm having such a
corn fed good time,
I could just bust my buttons.

Kel, did I ever tell
you that I almost
had one full year
in beauty school?
-Mom.

No way.

-Oh yeah.

Truer words were never spoken.

The only reason I
quit was to marry
that handsome father of
yours, don't you know.
-That's beautiful.

-Yep.

If the power hadn't
gone out, we never
would've had a family day, and
if we would have had power,
I never would have
learned that you don't
have to heat up
trout on a stick.
It's even better cold!

-Well?

-Go Fish!

-All right, we got him!

Yeah!

-Can you believe it?

Me and Derek having
fun together?
Isn't family day great?

-Well, have a look see
here now why don't ya?
The power's back on.

-Like, I guess it is.

-Looks like we don't have
to play cards anymore.
-Yeah, I guess you
kids'll probably
just wanna watch TV now.

-I guess that's the
end of family day.
-No it isn't.

[CHEERING]

JACKIE: Bobby, Wonderful
Woman and Captain Squash
are gonna be at the
mall in a few minutes.
Wanna come?

My dad'll drive us.

BOBBY: He will?

Um, thanks anyways,
Jackie, but I'm
too busy having
fun with my family.
FAMILY: [SINGING] Micheal row
the boat ashore, hallelujah.
Micheal row the boat
ashore, hallelujah!
-Wow, I-- I love that show.

I'm gonna be humming those
songs all night long.
-I'm gonna be humming
those songs too.
-Because you love
those songs so much?
-No, because I can't
remember the words.
[MUSIC PLAYING]