07x08 - Dad's Big Day

[bunniefuu]

-I'm Howie, and this is Bobby.

-And this is "Bobby's
World," my favorite show.
-Well, welcome, everyone.

I hope you enjoy today's show.

-Oh, they will.

This is the best show.

I never miss it.

-You can't.

You're in it.

-I know.

But you know what I love
best about this show?
-No.

What's that?

-Me!

Roll it.

-Roll it.

[THEME MUSIC]

TEACHER: Isn't it
amazing, class, how easy
it is to use simple, everyday
items such as glue and macaroni
to make these beautiful
Father's Day cards?
-Yeah.

It is mazing.

-Now, I think we should
spend a few minutes talking
about our dads and the things
they like to do for fun.
OK, who wants to go first?

-Me!

Me!

-Me!

Me!

Miss Wills!

-I'm ready, Miss Wills.

-Jackie?

-My father enjoys
flying his own plane.
-Ooh.

-Flying his own plane.

Wow.

TEACHER: All right, and
who wants to be next?
-Me!

Me!

Me!

Me!

TEACHER: Ah, Rodney?

-My dad likes to
spend his weekends
being a volunteer fireman.

-Wow.

[SIREN WAILING]

-Bobby?

-What?

-Tell us about your father.

-Well, uh, um, sometimes
he makes armpit noises
that sound exactly
like "happy birthday."
[BELL RINGING]

[CHATTERING]

-What are you going to get your
father for Father's Day, Bobby?
-This.

-My mom heard on the
Sally Jaffee show
that it's a good idea
to give people presents
that are related
to their hobbies.
-Oh.

-It must be hard shopping for
a man who makes armpit noises
as a recreational
activity, Bobby.
-Yes.

Guess he pretty much has
all the stuff he needs.
-OK, OK.

Everybody hop to.

It's Father's Day,
and I want your father
to have a doozy of a good
time, don't you know.
Howard!

Breakfast!

And it's going to be a
breakfast to remember, too.
Poached liver and eggs
with fresh-baked fiber bars
and homemade barley butter.

-And this.

-Bobby, what is it?

-Looks like an exploded pizza.

-Well, lookie here at this now.

It's a-- yeah, isn't
that nice, there, then?
-It's a picture of Dad.

-Right-o.

And a beautiful one, too.

-Aren't moms great?

-Well, there's nothing better
than the smell of poached liver
in the morning, don't you know?

It's just the best, is all.

And that's exactly
what my Howard
deserves for criminitley's sake.

The best.

[BABIES CRYING]

-Now, don't forget.

I want you kids to come
to the mall with me
this afternoonsky so we can pick
out a real special Father's Day
present for that
father of yours.
-What are we going to get him?

-I know what we can get him.

I know, I know.

An all-day pass to the
monkey cages at the zoo.
-Bobby, that is like,
so totally daft.
-OK.

Then how about a
limited-edition Captain
Squash laser-powered lunchbox?

-That's an even stupider
idea than the monkey cages.
-Come on, Webley.

We're going somewhere
where the people are nicer.
DEREK: Man, were
those lame suggestions
that dweeb had for
Dad's present or what?
-Oh!

Look who's talking there, now.

I haven't heard you
come up with an idea
for the perfect gift, Einstein.

-The perfect gift for Dad.

DEREK: Hey, you
know what Dad would
really like for Father's Day?

Some fishing stuff.

You know how crazy
he is about fishing.
-Yeah.

Take him fishing.

That's the perfect present.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

-Thanks, Bobby.

I'm having a great
time, and this fishing
trip is the perfect present.

-I knew it would be.

-Ah!

We're going to
need a bigger boat!
-Don't worry, Dad.

This is my fantasy.

I can fix it!

-Howard!

Time!

Get a move on!

Breakfast is ready,
don't you know?
-Be right down, Martha!

-Yelling!

That's something
Dad really likes.
ANNOUNCER: What you are
hearing, ladies and gentlemen,
is the sound of every
father in the world yelling
his favorite overused parental
threat at the top of his lungs.
We've heard everything from,
"Where did your mother and I go
wrong?" to "Someday
you'll thank me for this."
And now, shouting at
that old chestnut,
is the winner of this year's
Father's Day International
Yelling Contest Howard Generic!

DAD: Don't make me
have to come in there!
-That's Generic!

ANNOUNCER: Congratulations,
Mr. Generic.
What a perfect way to
celebrate Father's Day.
Right?

-Like, get a grip.

Totally turn that TV
off and get in here
for breakfast right now, Bobby.

-It's Dad's special
day, Webley, and I still
don't know what his
present should be.
-Oh!

Poached liver, huh?

Well, look-- look.

Hey.

You-- you really don't have
to do anything else for me
for Father's Day, Martha.

I'm-- I'm-- I'm serious.

Really.

-Oh, don't be silly
there, now, Howard.
The kids and I are going to
purchase you a real whiz-bang
of a present at the
mall this afternoon.
-Oh.

Honestly, all-- all I want
is a-- is a quiet day.
I just want to kick
back, put my feet
up, and watch the big game.

-That's it.

I know exactly what to
give Dad for Father's Day.
This is so exciting, Webley.

It's Dad's special
day, and I'm going
to give him exactly
what he wants.
-Bobby?

Hon?

Are you sure you don't
want to come with us
to shop for your
Dad's double-dip doozy
of a Father's Day present?

-No thanks, Mom.

I'll just stay here
and keep Dad company.
Boy, Webley.

This is going to be great.

[HORN HONKING]

-Oh, that's a busted axle.

Hey, Bobbo!

-Hi, Uncle Ted.

See you inside!

It's Dad's special day.

I've got to give
him his present.
So I'm giving you exactly
what you said you wanted, Dad.
The whole day off
with nothing to do.
-Gee, thanks, Sport!

That sounds great.

-It's going to be great because
I'm going to take care of you.
You sit back and relax.

And all you have to do is
enjoy the peace and quiet.
-Hey!

Oh!

That's a pain, huh?

Here.

Here.

Let me give you a hand, Howard.

-Oh!

Oh!

-Oops.

Sorry.

My TV's on the
fritz, so I-- I came
over to watch the big game.

Brought a few snacks.

Uh, probably got you with
the herring dip and a couple
of cans of peanut butter
currant dogs there, sorry.
-It's OK, Ted.

I'm-- I'm fine.

-These aren't snacks, Uncle Ted.

They're just empty cans.

-Oh, that's a goof.

I must have grabbed
the wrong bags.
-These are the empty
socks-in-a-can cans that
I've been meaning to take
to the recycling center.
[DOG BARKING]
-No, no.
Don't worry about it, Ted.

I'm sure Martha has plenty
of snacks in the kitchen.
Let me just let
Roger out and I'll--
-No, Dad.

You go sit down.

I'll get the snacks
and let Roger out,
because this is
your special day.
[DOG BARKING]

-Uh-oh.

No dip, and dip is one
of Dad's favorite things.
Wait a minute.

I've seen Mom make
dip lots of times.
All I need is ingredients.

I can make my own dip.

[BACKGROUND CHATTER]

-Chef Wolfgang Bobby,
the most famous chef
in the whole, wide world,
how did you get your start?
-Well, it actually started
with snacks for my papa
on his special day.

[DOG BARKING]

[CAT HISSING]

-What's that?

-Oh, maybe I should remind Bobby
to make sure that the back gate
is closed so Roger doesn't get
into Mr. Smittle's yard again.
-Relax, Howard.

You told him a million times.

How could he forget?

-Dad!

Dad!

Roger's in Mr. Smittle's yard
chasing Mr. Smittle's cat.
Mr. Smittle says
come quick and bring
the ladder and the
name of your attorney.
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Woah!

The big game just
started and it looks
like it's going to be the
most exciting one in history!
[CAT SQUEALING]

[DOG BARKING]

[DOG GROWLING]

-Generic, get your dad-blasted
dog out of my yard,
or I'll sh**t!

And this time, I mean it!

-Don't worry, don't worry.

I'll have him out of here
in a flash, Mr. Smittle.
Roger!

Stop!

Stop!

No!

Hey, boy!

-Ladies and gentlemen!

The greatest dad on earth!

[DOG BARKING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

-Ah!

Ah!

Roger!

Stop!

Stop!

No!

Hey!

Boy!

Boy!

Don't!

No!

Stop!

[CAT MEOWING]

-Here, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty.

[CAT MEOWING]

-Ow.

Oh.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Here.

-My poor cat got that
spittle all over.
And he's been chasing,
his little heart beating.
I ain't going to
drop the lawsuit.
You can bet that.

-How many times have I told
you to make sure the gate
is closed before you let Roger--

-Howard, come quick!

Hurry up!

Things are going
nuts in the big game!
-I love Uncle Ted.

-Yeah?

Whoops-- ah!

Bobby!

-Uh-oh.

Am I in trouble?

Uh-oh.

Am I in trouble?

-Bobby!

-Howard!

What happened?

-Dad, are you OK?

-Oh, that's a sprain.

Well, what's the word, Doc?

-It's just a slight sprain.

Mr. Generic is fine.

-That's GEN-er-ic.

-All he needs is a little rest.

-Don't you worry.

I'll take good care of him.

Because he's my dad, and
it's his special day.
-What a lovely little boy.

-Oh, ahem.

I'm the boy's uncle.

Loveliness runs in the family.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Ted Anustagergen Sven.

Oh!

That's a rip.

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: In all my
years of covering the big game,
I have never seen anything
this incredible, ladies
and gentlemen.

We'll be right back
after these messages.
-OK, Dad.

Soon as I finish making the tip.

I'll bring you a
snack, and then--
-No, that's OK.

That's OK, Bobby.

All-- all I want
to do now is just
sit here and watch the big game.

What's-- what's left of it.

-Tell you what, Bobbo,
why don't you go upstairs
and take a bath, and as soon
as I finish putting a seam back
in my pants, here, I'll take
over for you in the kitchen.
-OK.

I found my ducky, my
fishie, my Captain
Squash super-powered submarine.

Dive, dive, dive.

[SIREN WAILING]

-Enemy off the starboard bow.

[ELECTRONICS BEEPING]

-The enemy is in our sights!

Fire tickler torpedo!

Activate tickler!

[LAUGHTER]

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
OK, we're back,
sports fans, for what
will be remembered
as the greatest big
game of them all!
-I'm finally going
to get to see it!
What the-- Bobby?

What's going on?

Bobby?

Bobby!

-Hmm.

That's a short.

DAD: Ow!

Oh!

-Uh-oh.

Don't worry, Dad.

Even though it's almost night,
it's still your special day,
and I'm still
taking care of you.
-OK.

[CAT MEOWING]

-Oh, there's that stupid cat.

You know-- you know, Ted,
I-- hey, I love animals,
but that thing drives
me right up a wall.
-Drives Dad up a wall?

[TIRES SQUEALING]

-Help!

Help!

No, no!

He's going to do it again!

[SIREN WAILING]

-Somebody stop him, please!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

-You've driven my Dad up the
wall for the last time, pal.
What do you have
to say about that?
-Hey, who wants snacks?

You know, right before
the power went out,
I just finished
making a big batch
of chili-cheese anchovies.

What say there, Howard?

In the mood for some
subs and snacks?
-Don't forget, Dad.

You can have anything you want,
because it's your special day.
-Thanks, Bobby.

But the only thing I
really want to do right now
is see whatever I
can of the big game.
-Don't worry, Dad.

The big game's coming.

I just gotta find
the right channel.
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Yes!

Did you see that,
ladies and gentlemen?
What a finish!

We'll be talking about
this one for years to come.
-[SCREAMING] Bobby, move,
I can't see the screen!
-Come on, Roger.

Dad wants to watch the big game.

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Oh
my, what a game that was.
I'll tell you, this will be
talked about for years to come,
ladies and gentlemen.

So, until next
year, this is Stevie
Spillmeyer for
Spectacular Sports.
So long.

-Ugh.

-Yoo-hoo!

Where's that big, burly
handsome husband of mine?
Oh, for-- well, what in the sam
hills of splints and traction
happened here, Howard?

-Oh, well, see, Martha,
Bobby was just trying to give
Howard the day off,
and, uh, well--
-This is your fault, dweeb?

-Ugh.

Bobby, like, totally ruin
Father's Day, why don't you?
[CRYING]

-It was a dumb idea to give
Dad a special day as a present.
I should have gone to the mall
with everybody else, Webley.
The only good kind of present is
the kind you buy at the store.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

That's-- that's not true.

I liked your present,
Bobby, just as-- just
as much as the
one from the mall.
-You did?

-Yeah.

Because it came from your heart.

See, what makes a present
good doesn't have anything
to do with how much money
you spend on it, Bobby.
It's the thought that counts.

Remember that.

-If it's the thought that
counts, then for my birthday,
I think I'm going
to ask Dad to count
on giving me
exactly what I want.
A new Captain Squash
laser-powered lunchbox!
-Well, everyone, that's
our-- that's our show.
Bobby?

-Yes, Howie?

-Why-- why are you
wearing that hat?
-It's the end of
the show, isn't it?
-Yes, but why are
you wearing that hat?
-Isn't it time for goodbyes?

-Yes, but why are
you wearing that hat?
-Because I bought
this hat for $3.52.
I think that's a good buy.

-Bye.