06x03 - The Haunting of Heck House

[bunniefuu]

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there's something strange in the

neighborhood who you got to

call there something weird and it don't

look good who you going to call

let

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go where

is I ain't afraid of no

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[Applause]

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ghost I ain't afraid of no

ghost who you going to

call me

me wow there's Ecto one check it out

this is awesome now everyone stay close

together remember the Ghostbusters were

nice enough to let us tour their

Firehouse so let's not break anything or

let anything out that's

okay oh wow look Peter

excellent wow hi hi I'm slim how you

doing let me CRA swe any question like

me I'm sorry I didn't know any of you

were in today yeah well the guys are

giving a lecture somewhere Janine's got

the day off so I figured I'd go through

some stuff that needs packing anyway

back in a sec after I bring up more

Chunk from the basement meanwhile if

there's any questions just ask Slimer he

knows stuff even I

don't wow look at all this neat

stuff hey look at

this my dad's got one just like it well

probably not just like it oh uh hi we

were just looking around like you said

it's okay in fact you want to hear the

story behind that thing this has a story

behind it sure it's a souvenir of one of

our most dangerous cases it was a

Thursday night dark

it gets that way at night anyway a guy

came to the

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door and so I offer you a once in a

lifetime

opportunity thanks but we've got all the

Elvis records we're ever going to need

oh I speak to you of heck

house uh no going back to bed hey what's

the matter with you guys you never heard

of heck house have you no good

night what okay okay if nobody else is

going to ask I'll bite what is heck

house it's the Mount Everest of haunted

houses the most frightening haunted

house in all the world named after the

man who built it Jonah heck in 50 years

not one person has stayed overnight in

that house and survived

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that place chews up paranormal

investigators like Slimer goes through

jelly

beans the only man to spend half the

night there was one of my professors in

paranormal studies at Columbia

University he was a brilliant

man W what's he do now drool aot got

it we Face demons monsters goer

multi-dimensional invasions but there is

nothing you can say that could get me

within a mile of heck

House 1 million dollar to anyone who can

spend one night there Dusk to

Dawn uh is that a million dollars Al

together or individually a million

dollar each just one catch you cannot

bring your proton packs with you

fascinating but why I represent Henry

Merryweather a very wealthy man he like

yourselves was something of an

adventurer in the

Supernatural was was Mr Merryweather is

lately

deceased oh he left this money to you in

his will provided you could clean up

heck house to prove you have the courage

to face something scary without those

proton packs of yours hey we can chanle

anything says who says me H how what

what huh huh you know a million bucks

just think what we could do with that

yeah yeah yeah we could buy Ecto a

Quantum chamber and Peter a Porsche an

osmotic processor a p Ray don't say it I

am not going I'm not going I am not

going

gentlemen I give you heck

house and we agreed to come here without

our proton packs that's right sometimes

I think between the four of us we don't

have the brains God gave our door now

your rooms are upstairs remember you

must stay inside until dawn to claim the

1 million do aren't you at least going

to show us around when does the Sun go

down uh the sun went down 2 minutes ago

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uhoh okay so it's a haunted house we've

beaten him before without our packs this

place is no different if we stay calm it

can hurt

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us don't make me come up there h

wow

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huh

there yo Ray come here a minute be right

there what up Winston this is my room

right right that's what I was afraid of

huh

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hey you better bunk with me you got that

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right yo Egon thought you'd be unpacking

in your room by now forget it I'm not

letting this house get me alone in a

small room I'm staying right here in the

library feels safe somehow yeah you're

probably okay unless it heard about our

first case you know the one in the New

York Public Library where books started

flying out of the bookcases hundreds and

hundreds of little guided missiles well

we'll just hope they never saw the movie

made about all that

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toodles don't even think about it

well looks like it's just you and me

Slimer I wouldn't worry about any of

this we'll get through all this just

fine it's like the time my dad and I

went camping for the first

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time in house and we're feeling very

fine you're such a lovely audience I'd

love to make you mine so you're never

never never know you're Absolut

never no you're never ever ever going to

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leave you shall not pass villan

[Applause]

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and that's when I learned a very

important

lesson Slimer where are

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Spud quit kidding

around anyway you know what that

important lesson

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was that there's nothing too big for you

to handle I think this place isn't half

as scary as everyone says I got to get

out here got to get out here to go you

and me both buddy

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and it and it tried to grab me I don't

want to remember eat your dinner yeah

I'll eat my dinner good idea it was it

was green Winston oh there you are say

Egon you've got some medical training

don't you a little mostly in first aid

why I need something

removed not qualified I'm here

sorry Spud so where you been all this

time in the library I found some things

that what's wrong with them I don't know

I think they saw something upstairs and

it it had 200 eyes I know I I counted

with a little work I was able to cross

reference the data I know now exactly

how many ghosts are here in HEC house by

way of comparison the Watley house in

Arkham had 13 the Vincent Mansion had 10

and the most haunted house on record the

Crowley house in London had

25 okay Egon so tell us how many ghosts

are in this house

2,436 good job wait till you get my bill

hey wait a minute there can't be over

2,000 ghosts in this place only a dozen

people have ever lived here so where did

all those other ghost come from I'm uh

still working on that part I don't see

what you're all worried about you want a

solution to this I got your solution

right here come on it's real simple if

things get too bad in here we just say

forget the million bucks it ain't worth

it and leave that simple you just Reach

Out grab the door open it and walk

out hey

hey we're locked in everything's bricked

up everything

that's not fair you hear me that's not

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fair you're sure this doesn't worry you

of course not I told that guy we were

cool doesn't bother me we could just use

some air in

here aha got it

h okay so we're trapped we'll be all

right right Slimer yeah oh yeah right

we'll be fine

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sure I think we lost Slimer that tears

it sure we don't have our packs there's

four of us against 2,000 of them but

we've got our brains we've got our wits

and we can beat this thing you've been

reading books again haven't you we have

to figure out where all those ghosts

have come from once we know that we can

beat them the answer has to be in the

library it's the only room where no

one's been attacked yet okay good egon's

going to think thinking is good we just

have to stay cool as long as we stay

together we'll be fine we hey who turned

out the lights Ray

Winston okay that's it I've had it you

hear me house nobody grabs my friends

like that think you're real tuck don't

you you bang H in clattering collection

of rotten wooden Nails well you forgot

something proton packs or not I'm still

a Ghostbuster and I'm coming up there

I'm here to kick ectoplasm in two

Bubblegum and I'm fresh out of bubble

gum wait here Slimer I'm not coming back

until I've got Ray and winstoner

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a boy that first step's a

doozy what join us for the hunt come be

one of us join you not a

chance

go after him and to think when I was 12

my mom told me I couldn't have a horse

because we lived in an apartment dirty

laundry this stuff smells like it's been

here for ages well it could be worse

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I come on think

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think okay okay you want a piece of me

come on come on come on and get me come

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[Applause]

on gotcha that'll teach you to mess

around with Ray stance you Bunch it hey

watch it let go let's go

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help po Jackson mat Howard mon lefanu

Lovecraft block come on one of them has

to have the answer one of them that's it

it's been staring me in the face the

whole time now if the guys would just

stop playing around and get back

here after

him okay time's up

I save it for the manager boy am I glad

to see you listen I got an idea see that

painting up

ahead aim for it ride straight toward it

what trust me they're almost on top of

us okay

now all right good thinking Peter

I watch out okay time for the old

College flying

tackle Peter

no hey what's the idea his arm look look

I

going Ray why didn't you say it was you

I was trying to come on let's get out of

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here I think we better hurry whatever

that is it sounds big as a dragon come

on who ever heard of a Dragon Ghost

yeah go go go

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go come on Slimer we don't have time to

kid

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around

yeah okay Eun tell me you got the answer

or I'm going to have to hurt you I've

got it bless your heart talk to me

according to Joshua hex's diary he

wanted to build the most haunted house

in the world he studied magic and spells

around the world then came back home to

build this house then he filled the

library with books of ghost stories and

cast the one spell he'd learned a spell

to make all those ghost stories come to

life so there's as many ghosts here as

there are books of ghost stories wow

that's a lot of books

2,436 terrific Egon except how is all

this going to get us out of here we

still don't have our proton packs

exactly but you'll not the ghosts never

leave here so all we have to do is use

the house wiring to turn the whole place

into one big ghost trap Ray well I can

do it okay Slammer outside if you see

anything just yell

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what's that Lassie a tree fell on Ranger

Bob better check it out

[Applause]

how much

longer would you see Winston how much

longer just a

minute we don't have a

minute okay that ought to do it here we

we're about to turn the house into one

great big ghost trap and we're inside

so so we don't know if humans can

survive inside a ghost trap H you know

you're right guys we'll have to leave

the Mansion but uh we can't leave the

door's bricked up

guys we'll just have to hope the energy

weakens the house enough for us to break

out yeah I suppose you're right well

here goes

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go hit it now

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waa hurry it up it's getting awfully hot

in here got it go go go

go

look Eun what's going on here the

ectoplasmic energy filling every piece

of wood in the place is being sucked

inward the house is collapsing in on

itself like a black hole yes that's what

I

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thought look at that man

wow will you look at that we beat it how

do you like that we me it yeah and we

did it without our packs just like we

said we proved we can do it on our own

and best of all we win $1 million each

I'm afraid you violated the terms of the

agreement look over there the sun is

only now coming up the deal was that you

must stay until

dawn you came out 5 minutes early 5

minutes 5 minutes you're going to keep

our million bucks each because we came

out 5 minutes early a bet a bet

gentlemen perhaps another

time 5 minutes I don't believe it I

don't believe leave it 5 minutes so much

for our new osmotic processor the

electrostatic generator my

P hey so what the point is we proved we

could do it we beat the most haunted

house on Earth what more do you

want a

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souvenir so I had it made into a paper

weight seemed kind of appropriate so I'd

put it back on the desk kids then that

thing in your hands used to be the most

haunted house in the world oh Dr vanman

can we see you in here for a moment on

my

[Applause]

way what do you think you think this is

really nah you weeb you really going to

believe a story like that you made it up

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nah

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deak