07x10 - The Suburban Jungle/The Thing in the Box/The Feline Philosopher

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [drumroll]

♪ We're ♪ We're

♪ Ready ♪ Ready

♪ To ♪ To

♪ Party

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta, romancing, siesta, samba, la bamba, ♪

♪ Ay caramba

♪ Disguises, disguises, surprises, surprises ♪

♪ And pies of-- and pies of all sizes ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Garfield and friends

This show is the answer.

Unfortunately, no one's figured out the question yet.

[jungle music]

Hold it. Stop the music please.

Before we start this cartoon, I have to explain something.

Take it up please.

This episode is about Jon's niece, Shannon.

This is Shannon.

We have a slight problem here

since Shannon doesn't speak English.

She speaks Valley.

Observe.

Like for sure.

Like I mean this is like so totally awesome.

It's like groovy to the max.

See the problem?

Joining us is the noted professor

of obscure adolescent languages, Dr. E Daryl Moon Unit.

Dr. Moon Unit, would you interpret please?

Yes, yes.

The young lady just said this is amazing

and yet disgusting.

For sure dude.

The young lady just said certainly sir.

Dr. Moon Unit will be appearing throughout this cartoon

to translate Shannon's lines for us all.

Title card please.

[jungle music]

Be quiet trusted assistant.

We don't want them to hear us.

[yelping]

Quiet.

Do you want to give us away?

Then don't say anything.

Here, hold this.

Now we must zero in on our quarry.

No signs of intelligent life there or there

and certainly not there.

Wait a minute.

[growling]

Okay Shannon that's.

Like no way, like no way.

[arguing]

Who's that teenage girl and what is she doing here?

[growling]

That's Jon's niece.

Her parents left her here for the day?

[growling]

The mall is only a few blocks away,

but I don't think it would be a good idea

for you to go there, Shannon.

But I am, like, so totally icicle here Uncle Jon.

Totally.

Yes the young lady that her life at Jon's abode

is quite uninteresting.

Your folks will be back for you tonight.

Do you want to watch me draw cartoons until they get here?

Like no way.

I mean gag me with a spoon.

This is so totally grody.

I could like toss my macaroons.

I do not.

The very suggestion makes me nauseous.

I'm sorry Shannon, but I have to work

and you can't go to the mall.

I'll put you in the den and you can watch TV in there.

Come true blue sidekick.

Let us keep our eyes peeled

for traces of marinara as we stalk the wild spaghetti.

[singing]

[gentle music]

The dude, like, wants me to zone out on the tube,

but like the only thing on are infomercials

and yogurt makers.

Ah like how totally gross.

The gentleman expects me to watch television,

but the only programming is boring and disgusting.

I'll bet like the mall is like this way.

I would wager that the shopping center

is in a north westerly direction.

Shannon!

The service is really going downhill.

Relax guys, I'm not serving dinner until I find Shannon.

Trusted assistant.

[panting]

Yes you.

We have a mission.

We must go in search of the last valley girl.

Come trusted assistant.

Make sure you bring the supplies.

[panting]

Meatloaf sandwich.

[chewing]

The trail has grown cold and ancient I'm afraid.

To say nothing of this meatloaf.

I don't know where to look for her.

[growling]

You do?

Since when do you have ideas?

Hey wait for me.

I'm the explorer here.

[growling]

Yes the traditional lair of the valley girl.

The mall.

And just in time.

We're out of sandwich, er supplies.

Careful faithful companion.

We are nearing dangerous, uncharted territory.

Be ever alert.

Especially for the warning sound

that signals a stampede of wild, crazed beasts.

[Announcer] Attention shoppers.

The blue light is now on in Berguson's Shoe Store.

That's the warning sound.

Here comes the stampede.

[yelling]

[growling]

Oh faithful companion.

I sense that a dangerous animal lurks close by.

Hey, no animals allowed in here.

It looks like the deadliest of species,

securitus guardius.

[whooshing]

SECURITY: Hey you come back here.

Like far out awesome dudes.

The young lady says this event resembles one

that strains credibility gentlemen.

Hurry assistant.

We have to out run him.

Hey we're doing it.

We're too fast for him.

We're miles ahead of him.

[growling]

We left him far behind.

We can stop and rest.

[dramatic music]

Oh no.

Okay.

[crying]

Like uno momento dude.

The young lady says one moment sir.

This is totally tubular.

Like gag my vibes with awesome tuna fish.

Your guess is as good as mine folks.

Okay let's go.

Like wait, those are like my uncle's pets you know.

Then I can give you a ticket

for bringing them into the mall.

A ticket like no way.

Like way.

No way.

Way.

No way.

Way.

No way.

Way.

We have to get out of this trap faithful companion.

Hold tight.

No way.

Way.

[dinging]

[Announcer] Well it seems like we have another

blue light special over by the escalator folks.

[yelling]

I lost all track of time.

Uncle Jon is like gonna go totally freak city on me.

Don't bother professor.

Even I know what that means.

I should be mad at you wandering away like that, Shannon,

but since you promised not to do it again.

Tuna casserole.

We go through all that and Jon serves tuna casserole.

What's wrong folks?

Grody to the max.

Gag us with a spoon dude.

[growling]

You're going to eat it.

[Shannon And Garfield] No way.

Way.

[Shannon And Garfield] No way.

Way.

[Shannon And Garfield] No way.

Way.

Join us next week as Garfield

and his loyal companion go in search of real food.

[Christmas music]

[slurping]

[dramatic music]

The postman was late today, Roy.

So I see.

Welp I'm here for my fan mail.

Stand back or you might get buried under a veritable

avalanche of letters from my adoring public.

Oh here it comes.

[gentle music]

Well at least I got one letter from some devoted Roy fan.

Dear Roy, since you don't seem to have much to do

on the show lately, can you get me autographs

of Wade, Orson, Booker, Sheldon, Bo.

Another letter from Mom.

I hope this book is worth $97.

$97 for a book?

What's it about?

How to not get ripped off when buying mail order.

Hey look at this package.

It's addressed to Bo.

Yeah and it looks like it has air holes in it.

Like something inside is alive.

Alive?

That's ridiculous.

There couldn't be anything alive inside that box guys.

Orson is right.

There couldn't be anything in that, that, that.

Package.

Not, not, not a chance.

Chance there is anything alive in that box.

No sir.

No.

Orson?

Yes?

Tell me again why there couldn't be anything alive

in that package.

Well let's open it up and see who or what it is.

Oh I hope it's not a what.

Hold it Roy.

It's addressed to Bo.

So?

Orson's right.

It's not right to open someone else's mail.

But Bo won't be back until late tonight.

Well then I'll just hold onto this

and he can open it when he gets home.

Hey what do you suppose is in there?

Maybe it's a monster.

In a box?

Maybe it's a mail order monster.

Well I'm not the least bit curious.

Neither am I.

And neither am I.

And certainly haven't the slightest ounce

of curiosity as to what could be inside the box

addressed to Bo Sheep.

Not one bit.

[yelling]

[whistling]

Bo will open his package when he returns.

End of discussion.

I don't really care what's in it.

Neither do we.

I could not care less if I tried very hard not to care.

[crying]

What's in there?

[yawning]

I can't wait up for Bo.

He'll have to get his package in the morning.

Those guys wondering what's in it.

I sure am glad I'm not curious.

Maybe it is a monkey or squirrel or.

Well listen to me,

I'm getting to be as bad as the rest of them.

[yawning]

Maybe it's a gerbil or hamster.

Maybe it's a baby wolf creature.

Or a giant monster robot.

A giant monster robot in a box this big?

Well maybe it's a small, giant monster robot.

Maybe it's an octopus creature with long tentacles

that will reach out of the box and grab us all

and pull us down into the box

where we'll never be seen again.

SHELDON: Kind of crowded in there.

[burping]

That's what's in the box, Sheldon, I know it.

A horrible, slimy, yucky, repulsive octopus creature

that will get us all.

We're doomed.

It's from outer space.

I know it is.

It's the advance scout from the planet Clarion.

It's here to eat the Earth.

And as it eats the Earth,

the nourishment will make it bigger and bigger

and it'll bigger things.

Roads and mountains and trucks and donut shops

and pretty soon nothing will be able to stop it.

Pretty soon it'll have the city in its grasps

and people will be asking why didn't we stop it

when it was just a box addressed to Bo?

And then once it's conquered us,

it will descend on us and we gotta stop it.

It's got a monster in it.

I know it.

An awful, green, duck scaring robot monster

or maybe it's a big ape, a giant gorilla,

or an abominable snowman.

Yeah it could be a abominable snowman

or worse two abominable snowmen.

No just one.

Or a giant dinosaur.

A brontosaurus.

No a tyrannosaurus.

They're scarier.

Or a Dracula type guy with bat wings

or maybe a giant spider.

What am I saying?

It couldn't be a giant spider.

It's a gorilla.

Maybe it's a mummy or a vicious bear

or an insurance salesman or a space rhino

or a it doesn't matter what it is.

Whatever it is, I'm afraid of it.

We gotta open that box

and find out for sure which monster it is.

Oh gee.

We have to get that thing in the box

before it gets us oh gee.

Orson says that we can't open Bo's package.

But this is an emergency.

[yelling]

Stop it all of you.

Please Orson, can we open the box.

No.

It's addressed to Bo and you can't open Bo's mail.

Can I like open it man?

No Bo this is Bo's package and you can't open it, Bo.

Only Bo.

Open your package Bo.

[yelling]

[dramatic music]

It's, it's.

Yes it's me, Nermal.

It's like a kitten man.

Not just any kitten,

but the cutest kitten in the whole wide world.

What are you doing in that box?

Garfield Cat stuck me in this box.

He was going to mail to Abu Dabi,

but he didn't have enough stamps.

Oh so he like sent you here?

Yes and now you lucky folks.

You get to have me around.

What do you do?

I just act cute.

I lie on my back and make you rub my belly.

Or I chase my tail in a circle.

Or I swat at a fly.

And since I'm so cute, you all wait on me

because cute kittens never do any work.

What do you say?

One moment.

[discussing]

Nermal we've made a decision.

Yeah we've decided on the perfect place for you.

Really?

What is it?

[gentle music]

Return to sender.

P.S. we'd rather have the monster.

That's the eighth time this month.

Some things you just can't give away.

NERMAL: Where am I?

Is this Garfield's house again?

I've been sent back again?

Doesn't anyone appreciate cute anymore?

[somber music]

Pie. Pie.

I smell pie.

Definite pie. I must have some of it.

Better still, I must have all of it.

Yes! It is pie.

Real live in person accept no substitutes pie.

Pie, glorious pie.

[growling]

Oh it's too high up.

What can I stand on to reach it?

A bulldog, perfect.

How considerate of these people

to provide a bulldog for me to stand on

so I can get this glorious, wonderful, delicious.

Bulldog!

And now ladies and gentlemen, my impression of a roadrunner.

Beep beep.

[quick music and barking]

Well am I gonna let one angry bulldog

keep me from the wonders and delights of fresh pie?

Sure looks that way.

One moment fellow feline.

What do you think you're doing?

I don't think, I know.

I'm giving up.

Giving up?

I hate to see such a thing.

My card.

The Feline Philosopher, Motivational Speaker.

That's right.

If you allow me, I shall motivate you.

Inspire you to go forth and move mountains.

What have I got to lose?

Okay lay a little motivation on me fella.

Excellent.

Music please.

[harmonic music]

Hey there kitty cat.

You say you dug your claws into your owner's new mattress

and you find out it's a water bed?

And someone keeps building sandcastles in your litter box?

And you went to kick a puppy off the table

and it turned out to be a cast iron statue of Lin Tin Tin?

And your master just got a deal on a canned cat food

made out of soy bean hearts and duck feet?

And that nearsighted pit bull down the block

keeps telling you you're awful cute when you're angry?

And they just put a tax on hairballs?

Is that what's putting meow in meow today, fluffy?

Well lift your head up high

and take a walk on the hot tin roof,

claw your way to a new tomorrow.

You show the world.

You tell them where they get off.

You never give up.

Never give up. Never give up.

That windup mouse.

You're right.

I'll show that mutt.

I am so proud.

I'm gonna get that pie.

[snoring]

[dramatic music]

[clanking]

If I can't go under the dog, I'll go over him.

Pie here I come.

[whimsical music]

Maybe it's apple pie or lemon merengue

or boisonberry or custard.

[crashing and growling]

Maybe I'm doomed or finished or faced with certain demise

or history.

Look! It's Elvis.

[upbeat music and barking]

[screaming]

[barking]

You cannot admit defeat now.

Oh yes I can.

I'm getting lots of practice.

What you need is more inspiration.

No I need more bandages.

Inspiration I can do without.

Hey there bunky.

You say Nermal the kitten is stayin' with you

'til Christmas and it's only March the third?

And that nearsighted pit bull just won't leave you alone?

Now he wants your paw print?

And you just got cable TV with 73 channels

and they're all showing an infomercial

for a home raisin peeler?

And the police just arrested

your teddy bear for bank robbery?

They say he was positively identified

by a Raggedy Ann doll?

And you accidentally ate a platter of dog food

and now your tongue's getting longer

and your IQ is going down

and your purr is beginning to sound like a bark?

And the government just announced

a severe shortage of lasagna?

Is that what's rubbin' your fur the wrong way?

Sylvester?

Well lift you head up high

and take a walk in the sun.

Keep you chin up.

All three of them and you show the world.

You show them all.

Remember people who live in glass houses

get embarrassed a lot.

No, I won't give up.

I will succeed.

I will try.

That's the spirit.

And I know just how to get that pie.

Hey what are you doing?

Let go of me.

Not in there, please.

[barking]

[yelling]

See, you can accomplish anything

if you're properly motivated.

Now there's nothing that can keep me from that pie.

Wonderful pie.

It's mine, all mine.

And I'm gonna get it right now.

[crashing]

Hey whose house is this?

Hey kids!

They let me back on the show.

Binky.

I thought we traded him to Hanna Barbera

for two funny dogs and duck to be named later.

And I have lots of lost time to make up.

Help!

[crashing]

Help!

[crashing]

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a motivational speaker.

What happened to you?

I got hit with all the pies Binky had saved up

since his last appearance.

Mind if I sit.

You say a mad clown covered you with lemon merengue?

Yeah.

And a furious bulldog is stalking this city,

looking for you?

Probably.

Is that what's got you down, bunky?

Well lift your head up high

and take a walk in the sun with that dignity

and stick to it and you show the world.

You show them where to get off.

You'll never give up.

Never give up. Never give up.

[upbeat music]