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01x13 - Forget Me Not/U.S. Acres: I Like Having You Around!/Sales Resistance

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Garfield and Friends". Aired: September 17, 1988 – December 10, 1994.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Show features animated story lines adapted from the comic strip Garfield and Davis's other comic strip U.S. Acres.

01x13 - Forget Me Not/U.S. Acres: I Like Having You Around!/Sales Resistance

Post by bunniefuu »

- Okay,

- Okay, odie.

Let's see if you're worthy

Of being the caped avenger's

High-performance mode

Of transportation.

- Hmm hmm hmm.

- Go.

Faster.

Faster. Faster.

All right, now, stop.

Seatbelt--the caped avenger

Needs a seatbelt.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

[ Music ]

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To help you ♪

♪ Get started, to give you ♪

♪ A push on your way ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To turn around ♪

♪ Get your feet on the ground ♪

♪ For a brand-new day ♪

- ♪ They pick you up ♪

♪ When you're down ♪

- ♪ Help you swallow
your pride ♪

♪ When something inside ♪

♪ Says to break on through ♪

♪ To the other side ♪

- ♪ Friends are someone ♪

♪ You can open up to ♪

- ♪ When you feel ♪

♪ Like you're ready to flip ♪

- ♪ When you've got ♪

♪ The world on your shoulders ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ To give you a tip ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ When you need them ♪

♪ They're even there ♪

♪ When you don't ♪

- ♪ For a walk in the park ♪

♪ Or a shot in the dark, ♪

♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ I don't care ♪

- ♪ But friends will ♪

♪ Care for you ♪

- Hey you, the kid

Who missed last week's show,

You better have a good excuse.

- In bed on a beautiful day

Like this?

- I believe in letting

The fates guide my life.

- Sleep, eat, sleep, eat,

Sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep,

Eat, sleep, eat, sleep.

- See? Fate.

Some people don't believe

In fate.

What else can go wrong today?

- Well, ask

A bonehead question.

You want me to throw the ball?

- Uh-huh.

- And then you'll go fetch it

And bring it back to
me to throw again?

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- And we'll do this all day

Back and forth, back and forth?

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- There. That ought to

Keep you busy for a while.

All that work made me hungry.

I need food.

Pie is food.

Excuse me, I believe

You have my pie.

Please return it.

- What did you say?

- I said...

- [ Growling ]

- ...enjoy the pie.

- See you around, cat.

- Gee, that wasn't fair.

I stole that pie first.

- Garfield!

Garfield, are you all right?

- Auntie em, auntie em,

Are we still in kansas?

- Garfield?

- [ Whining ]

- Odie, fetch me the

Special garfield first aid kit.

- [ Barks ]

- Garfield? Who's garfield?

- Here, the first aid kit

Has a delicious lasagna in it.

- Lasagna? Take it away.

Too many calories,

And cholesterol.

How about a nice salad

With low calorie dressing?

Boy, I'm overweight,

And this fur coat I'm wearing

Is pretty shabby.

- Something's wrong, odie.

Something's terribly wrong.

- [ Barks ]

- Apart from the bump

On his head,

He seems to be in fine shape.

What makes you think

He's lost his memory?

- He won't eat. He won't sleep.

He doesn't beat up on odie

Or claw the furniture.

- And you want me

To restore his memory?

- Uh, let me think about this

For a second.

- [ Barks ]

- You're right, odie.

We want our

Old friend garfield back.

- Well, it may just wear off,

Or something familiar may

Jog him back to his old self.

- Are you sure I'm not due

For my shots?

- Okay. Remember, odie,

We have to remind garfield

Of who he is. Oh, garfield.

- Why do you keep

Calling me that?

- Look! Odie is on the edge

Of the table.

It would be so mean

If someone were to shove odie

Off that table.

- Say no more.

I know what to do.

- [ Chuckling ] it's working.

Shoving odie off the table

Is garfield's favorite sport.

He's going to do it.

- You shouldn't stand

Near the edge like that, puppy.

Safety first.

- Slurp him, odie.

You know how garfield

Hates that.

- Yeah, yeah.

- [ Laughing ]

That's nice of you, doggie.

You're so sweet.

- Hmm?

- Uh, wouldn't you like a nap?

- In the middle of the day?

- [ Whining ]

- I'm not giving up, odie.

I know how

To restore his memory.

I thought you might be hungry,

So I whipped up a little snack.

- I wonder what army

Is coming by to eat

All that fattening food?

But I'm not hungry.

I'll just have

Some of these raisins.

- Here. At least take

This lasagna.

- This strange person

Obviously went to a lot

Of trouble, so I don't want to

Hurt his feelings.

I'll take a walk

And maybe I'll find

Someone to give it to.

Hello, mister mailman,

Such a dedicated hard worker.

Why is everyone

Acting so strangely,

And why do they keep

Calling me garfield?

It's such a dumb name.

- [ Laughing ]

Thanks, cat.

- You're quite welcome. Enjoy.

- [ Laughing ] I'm welcome?

What do you mean, I'm welcome?

I just took your lasagna.

- And you're quite welcome

To it. Eat hearty.

- Why? What's wrong

With this stuff?

Oh, no.

This has got to be

A trick or something.

- But I want you to have it.

- Oh, no. Not a chance.

You take it.

- No, please. I insist.

- No way. Keep your lasagna.

- But I don't want it

Going to waste.

- That cat's up to something.

- Come back here

And eat my lasagna.

- Ah! I'm trapped.

- Now are you going to

Eat this lasagna yourself,

Or do I have to feed you?

- No, please.

Don't make me eat your lasagna.

I'm sorry I mistreated you.

I'll never do it again.

- I can't stand

Seeing food wasted.

- We may have to

Face it, odie.

Our friend garfield

Is gone forever.

- [ Whining ]

- Please, please,

You've got to eat lasagna,

Please.

He's eating!

He's eating lasagna!

Garfield, are you really acting

Like garfield again?

- Ahh!

- It's good

To have garfield back.

- Hey, I don't understand it,

But sometimes...

You don't ask questions.

- You won't get away

From me, worm.

Oh, hiding in the ground, huh?

Well, that won't do you

Any good.

I'm coming after you, worm!

Hey, you can't do this

To me! Hey!

Oh, this couldn't be any worse.

- Step right up.

Kiss a chicken, only one dollar.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

- Dear diary, well,

Things have not been

Peaceful around here lately.

Oh, some things never change.

Wade, for instance.

- I am not afraid of you.

You think I am a coward,

But I laugh in your very face.

Ha and ha again.

I will squish you

Like the bug you are, bug.

- Boo.

- I was just minding

My own business.

- Help! Rescue me!

Save me from whatever

I need saving from!

- Why is everyone

Acting so weird?

Lanolin's in a bad mood today.

- How can you tell?

- How could I tell?

Well, it was pretty obvious

To everyone.

- Get out of my way. Ahh!

- She didn't seem

To like anyone very much,

Especially her brother, bo.

- You locked bo

Out in the rain?

Well, I guess a little rain

Won't hurt him.

- Ah, you don't know bo.

His wool has a tendency

To shrink.

- Wade helped bo to dry up.

- There, all dry.

- Like muchas gracias, duck.

My sis has been high

On the pain index lately.

- She sure had been.

The next day we thought

She'd gotten over it.

- I'm knitting you

A sweater, booker.

- Well, that's nice of you,

Lanolin, but where'd

You get the yarn?

- Oh, I found some.

- Mostly though,

She was just plain disagreeable.

- You sure disagree a lot.

- I do not.

- See, you just
disagreed with me.

- No, I didn't.

- Okay. Have it your way,

Like you didn't
disagree with me.

- Yes, I did.

- Do you, or do you not,

Disagree with me?

- What do you think?

- Like, I think you disagree

With me a lot.

- Well, you're wrong.

I never disagree with you,

So there.

- This kind of thing went on

All day and all night.

- I'm not sleepy.

Maybe I'll count people

Till I doze off.

- You're absolutely wrong.

- I wasn't thinking

About anything.

- That's what you're

Absolutely wrong about.

- Eventually, bo started

To get the idea that maybe

His sister must not

Want him around, and bo--

Well, bo's a pretty

Easy going guy.

He figured if she doesn't

Want me around, well, then,

I won't be around.

Simple as that.

He went way up in the hills,

Up to the old abandoned cabin.

Oh, wait, I left something out.

Before he left,

He wrote a note just saying,

Since my sister doesn't

Want me around,

I'm moving away.

Then he left.

And an hour or three later,

Lanolin found the note.

She was pretty broken up

About it.

- So what.

- Oh, she tried to pretend

Like she wasn't.

- Hi lanolin.

- It's not my fault

He moved away.

Don't blame me. It was his idea.

- I guess the trouble

With being a crab is,

That the image is so hard

To maintain.

- Your turn.

- You miss him, don't you?

- No.

- Anyone who says no like that

Usually means yes.

A week after bo moved away,

The wind arrived,

A pretty fierce wind.

- Booker, sheldon,

To the cellar!

- The--the radio says it's

The biggest storm of the year.

- We'll be safe in hear.

- But bo is up in the hills,

And that old shack won't last

Out this storm.

- You can't go out there now.

- One side, pig.

- There was no stopping her.

I couldn't, and I had a feeling

The storm couldn't either.

- Come back to the farm!

- You really don't want me

Back there, sis.

- She told him about

The storm, but you know bo.

He wasn't about to let

A little thing like wind

Bother him.

He said the only we'd come back

Was if lanolin

Really missed him.

- ...really miss me.

- Are you serious about this?

I miss you.

- What?

- I miss you, all right?

- Well, those were

The magic words.

They got out just in time.

A few moments later,

The storm kicked up

And the cabin was gone

With the wind.

She got him back just before

The whole brunt

Of the storm hit.

- So you miss me, huh, sis?

- I didn't--ah.

♪ Wouldn't be the same ♪

♪ Not saying your name ♪

♪ Or seeing your face ♪

♪ Once in a while ♪

♪ Because everything I do ♪

♪ Turns out good
because of you ♪

♪ And on top of it all ♪

♪ You make me smile ♪

♪ Because I like ♪

♪ Having you around ♪

♪ Wherever I'm gonna be ♪

♪ I want you there beside me ♪

♪ Because I like ♪

♪ Having you around ♪

♪ I can do anything ♪

♪ As long as you're around ♪

- It was pretty happy

Down in that cellar

While the storm was

Passing outside.

And now the storm's gone,

And bo's back,

And everything is almost

Back to normal.

- I didn't really say

I missed you.

- I heard you.

- No, you didn't.

- Yes, I did.

- Didn't. - Did.

- Didn't.

- Did did did did did.

- Correction.

Everything is back to normal.

- Didn't.

- Did.

- All right.

It snowed last night.

I love the first snow

Of the year. Whoa!

I still love

The first snow of the year.

- Enjoy the snow, garfield?

- Okay.

I'm ready for summer now.

- Dinner time, garfield.

- Food.

- I ran out

Of your regular cat food,

So I bought you the dried kind.

I'm sure you know

What to do with it.

- I certainly do.

- Whoa!

Enjoying your cat food,

Garfield?

- We must have it more often.

- [ Humming ]

- Ha ha, what luck.

I can take a vacation.

Hey, pal, if you're

Selling stuff,

Try that house.

They'll buy anything.

[ Laughing ]

- Garfield.

- You slammed?

- What did you buy this time?

What useless, overpriced piece

Of junk did you spend

My money on?

A life-size statue

Of leonardo da vinci

Made out of elbow macaroni?

- Don't tell me,

You already have one?

- Garfield, you have to

Stop buying everything you see.

Look what you bought this week,

An indoor plastic bird bath,

A 27-year supply

Of dental floss,

A battery-operated

Battery changer that's only good

For changing it's own batteries.

- It was on sale.

- No more. Do you understand?

No more.

Now, I'm going out again.

If you buy one thing

While I'm gone,

No lasagna

For the rest of your life.

- The rest of my life?

Without lasagna

That could be like tomorrow.

I'd better do something

Positive and constructive.

I'll watch television.

Let's see what's on cable.

Hmm, the old'

How to prepare potatoes channel.

- Shoestring, cottage fried,

Boiled, salad, mashed.

- Hey, this is worth

$79.95 a month, isn't it?

- Chipped on toast.

- I'll try the old

Snail racing channel.

- And they're off.

Well, I think they're off.

Yes. It looks like

Wet driveway is pulling

Into the lead.

They're neck and neck.

These guys have necks?

Wet driveway is out

To break his previous record

Of 3 weeks, 27 days

And 6 hours

In the 18-inch slime trail.

- I'll try the

All buying stuff channel.

- We're back, dear friends.

We're brought magnificent,

Marvelous merchandise

For you to buy, buy, buy.

Yes, yes, yes.

Our next item is this,

A deluxe, chrome-plated,

Large-capacity, hand inlaid.

Designer model,

Laser-powered,

Elephant repeller.

- Gee, I don't have

One of those.

- Phone now.

Operators are standing by

To take your mo--

Your call.

- If you buy one thing

While I'm gone,

No lasagna

For the rest of your life.

- I wonder if jon was serious.

- I'm serious.

- Ahh.

- And remember,

The first 20 callers

Get their elephant repeller

Absolutely free,

Plus I will deliver

Every one in person.

- Free?

- Okay, okay.

I'm at that customer's house.

Just wait.

I'll land the sale

Of the century.

- [ Doorbell rings ]

- Hello, hello, hello.

Herbert finagle here,

President of finagle marketing.

Who is this person

Who ordered

The free elephant repeller?

- You're looking at him fellow.

- A cat.

Well, why not a cat?

I'm a great salesman after all.

Hello, little pussycat.

I have your free

Elephant repeller here.

It's absolutely totally free,

Except the $2 handling charge,

The $5 delivery charge,

The $9 restocking charge.

Let's see,

You only owe me $28. Okay?

- Not okay.

I've got to stay away

From salesmen like that.

- Hash browned, julienned,

French fried, o'brien.

- And this race

Is really getting exciting.

- I never take no

For an answer,

Especially from a cat.

- This snail race is even more

Exciting than last year's

Seven-inch tortoise dash.

- Gee, this is

Kind of interesting.

- Excuse me, sir.

Have you ever considered

The clear and present danger

Of being caught

In an elephant stampede?

You see?

Now, if I had been an elephant,

Well, you could have gotten rid

Of me with your

Elephant repeller.

- I have to hide from him.

- You know,

There are advantages

To a good elephant repeller.

- I wish I had

A salesman repeller.

- It comes with

A great guarantee.

- I'll hide

Down in the basement.

He'll never find me down here.

- If this elephant repeller

Doesn't work,

We pay you 1,000 bucks

- All right. All right.

Enough. I'll buy it.

- Garfield, what piece of junk

Have you bought this time?

- It's a laser-powered

Elephant repeller,

The best one made.

- There isn't an elephant

Within a thousand miles

Of here.

- You see how good it works?

As I was saying,

The guarantee is that

If this device

Doesn't keep elephants away,

We pay you $1,000. Bye now.

- Garfield.

- Oh, you're some salesman,

Herby, and that guarantee

Always gets them.

Imagine, elephants around here.

- [ Elephant trumpet sound ]

It can't be.

No. No.

- Hey, mr. Salesman,

About that guarantee of yours.

- No. No. I don't believe it.

No! No! No! No!

- Hey, I don't

Believe it either,

But with a thousand bucks

I can buy that microwave

Cheese straightener.