03x02 - Rupert and Growler

[bunniefuu]

♪

Yahoo!

Whee!

♪

♪

(Whistling)

I love walking by the river!

You never know what sort of adventure

might be lying just 'round the next bend.

Whoa!

Sorry! I didn't see you there! My name's Rupert, Rupert Bear.

I'm from Nutwood and-- Hello, Rupert!

Constable Growler!

I didn't recognize you without your constable's uniform.

This is my day off. I'm not always on duty, you know!

But, Constable Growler...

Yes, Rupert?

Wouldn't you have better luck

if your line was actually in the water?

(Yawning)

We all have our methods.

I thought your method was to do everything "by the book"?

That's right, Rupert. I pride myself on always doing things...

the book...

When it comes to fishing,

Constable Growler does things by the same book as my dad.

Well hit, Cyril!

Thanks, old top!

Hello.

Err, hello.

Oh, of all the dashed luck.

I suppose one must play it where it lays, mustn't one?

Umm, yes, I think those are the rules.

Quite.

Ahoy, Cyril! Heads up, what?

What?

Ow!

Oh, I say!

Dash it all, Cubby!

You knocked me solidly on the old bean, old bean.

I believe I very distinctly called out

the requisite "heads up", did I not?

Quite! "Heads down" would have been a more appropriate warning,

don't you think?

Are you all right?

The whole thing came as quite a surprise, to say the least.

Bit of a shock to the entire system, as you might imagine!

Oh, come now, Cyril! Show a bit of the old stiff upper lip.

"Once more unto the breach" and all that, eh?

Ow! I'm Rupert!

Cuthbert Wembley-Smythe, Cubby.

Hello, Cubby.

And the fellow with the nasty lump on his noggin is my cousin,

Cyril Smythe-Wembley.

The third.

Pleased to meet you, Cyril.

Carry on then, old top. Your shot, I believe.

Right-o. Rather.

Wonderful day for a pleasure cruise, isn't it?

Oh, it's a capital day, all right!

I'll agree with you on that point, Rupert.

But we're on more of a business trip, eh, Cyril?

Right-o! Business all the way!

We're on a bit of a tour with our old granddad.

He's teaching us the family trade.

That's nice. Is your granddad a river pilot?

No, not a river pilot, more like a river pirate, I'd say.

(Laughing)

Good one, Cubby!

Not a pilot, a pirate! Jolly good!

You're pirates?

Steady on, Rupert. Just having you on, old bean.

Pulling the old leg, what?

Whew! For a minute there, I--

The old grand papa is more along the lines of a sneak thief,

I should say.

And Granddad is one of the best,

a sneak thief of the highest order!

And he's taken us on as his apprentices!

Well, umm, Gosh! That's, err, quite an honour, I suppose.

Rather!

In fact, we've just paid a business call

on that mansion yonder.

That's the Squire's house!

Oh, I say! Is this Squire fellow an acquaintance of yours?

Yes! He's a good friend!

Well, your friend certainly has refined tastes, I can tell you!

Quite right, first rate all the way. Pity he wasn't at home.

I should have liked to have met the fellow.

Well, umm, perhaps next time.

Err, well, I'd better be going now.

Good-bye, Rupert! Take care, old top!

Good-bye.

Don't rush off yet, lad!

I'm sure these two dunderheads will want to invite you to tea

before you go running off to the police!

Oh, I wasn't going to the police.

Save it, lad.

The brainpower didn't run out until their generation.

Bring him along!


Sorry, Rupert,

but the old boy is the team captain, so to speak.

Mustn't let the home side down, what? Quite!

Hey! Let go!

Oh, I say!

Rather!

Where in blue blistering blazes did you two get to?

I turn my back for half a minute and you're gone.

But I say, Granddad,

we found ourselves in the most fortunate position

of having our loot bags full to the brimming.

Right-o! Thought it best to return to the boat

to unload the booty! What?

And what booty might that be?

Though I know I'll regret the asking.

A top notch set too, made from the finest hardwood!

Tropical, I should think.

Quite so! Honduras mahogany!

You two are a right fine piece of work, you are!

Hey there, lad!

I don't suppose you'd like a job as my apprentice?

Just say the word and I'll toss these two over the side.

You'd better let me go!

Constable Growler is a good friend of mine!

He'll come looking for me!

Save your breath, lad.

I'm not going to fall for a line that's older than I am!

Look alive, you two! We're here.

Home sweet hideout, eh, Granddad? What?

Not for long. We're moving on afore

anyone comes snooping 'round for a sign of this one.

Jolly good.

There you go, Rupert. You can have my room.

Thanks a lot.

Don't mention it, old bean.

Hmm, it looks like they've been busy.

You two, quit standing about

and help your old granddad get all this stowed aboard!

(Gasping)

And don't you be getting any bright ideas, lad.

You'll never get away with this!

Don't worry, boy. When we're far enough away,

I'll tell the coppers where to find you.

I've got to find a way to alert Constable Growler!

Got it!

(Snoring)

Eh? What?

Must be a little joke from Rupert.

"Help"? Halt!

Ouch! Ooh! Ah! Ow!

Ah!

(Coughing)

Great Scott!

(Laughing)

(Panting)

(Wheezing)

There's no one here! Rupert!

Rupert!

(Muffled shouting)

Rupert!

(Muffled shouting)

Must have been a prank after all,

interrupted a jolly good nap.

Have to admit it, though, Rupert really had me going.

Imagine, a band of thieves on the river!

I should have known.

Hold on.

What's this doing out here?

Rupert!

Before they left, I heard them talking about an aeroplane.

They've got it hidden somewhere upriver.

If they reach that aeroplane, they'll get away scot free!

You'll never catch them on your bicycle! We need a motorboat!

I passed one on the way here, not far downstream!

This will explain that we've commandeered the boat

for a police emergency.

Everything by the book, right, Constable Growler?

Right you are, Rupert!

Let's go!

♪

Now, mark my words, you two, the trick to this business

ain't so much in the getting as in the getting away!

Right-o! Not in the getting.

It's in the "getting away". What? Quite.

Rather! Rather!

Oh, just take these and listen carefully.

We're passing through the very countryside

we just picked clean.

Now, we mustn't appear to be in the least bit suspicious.

So, I want you two to pretend you're a couple of tourists

out for a pleasure cruise.

Now, you can do that, can't you?

No problem there. Cubby here is something of an actor.

Rather! I was quite a hit as a tree in my school play.

"Here stand the mighty sycamore--"

Just get out there, you lump-headed jackanapes!

Right-o! You can count on us, Granddad!

Sure, lad, as long as I don't try to count past three.

Say "cheese", old boy!

Roquefort, or Camembert?


Quite!

There they go!

(Whistle blowing)

There's the local constable!

I am Police Constable Robinson, Popton Constabulary.

Constable Robinson! You've got to call in reinforcements.

That won't be necessary, young man.

I am perfectly capable of dealing with

a pair of petty criminals like you on my own.

Criminals?

Now, see here, what's the meaning of this?

You are under arrest for stealing this motorboat,

of course. The owner reported it missing only moments ago!

Now, come along with me.

Wait! You're making a mistake.

I can explain everything.

Oh, I'm sure you can.

I haven't arrested anyone yet who was short of excuses!

Now, come along.

Yeah, but I'm--

Quietly, or I'll add resisting arrest to the charge!

Well, well, well, you two certainly have been busy.

I was only posted here two weeks ago

and I've already got a list of stolen property

as long as me arm!

But we haven't stolen anything!

Oh really? And I suppose you only borrowed that motorboat.

That's right! We needed it to chase the real thieves!

Constable Growler left a note to explain--

"Constable" Growler?

P.C. Growler, Nutwood district.

Tell me, is that a regulation uniform

for a Police Constable from... Nutwood, did you say?

Yes! Err, that is, no!

I mean, yes, I am a police constable from Nutwood,

but no, this isn't my official uniform.

I have my identification right--

Oh no!

My wallet! I must have lost it

when I fell into the river chasing the paper boat!

Paper boat?

He means the note for help I sent him.

He fashioned it into a boat.

You see, I stumbled onto the thieves you're looking for.

The were playing croquet, and--

That is quite enough!

Just because I've been assigned to a small rural village,

doesn't mean I can be easily fooled.

But the thieves are getting away!

It seems to me that the thieves are firmly in custody!

(Phone ringing)

Constable Robinson.

Yes, Madam. Don't worry, I'll be right there.

But you can't leave! You've got to let us out of here before--

I'll continue my interrogation

as soon as I attend to this emergency.

The widow Davies' cat has got itself stuck up a tree.

He doesn't believe us!

I can't say I blame him.

As stories go, our does sound highly fanciful.

Don't worry, Rupert.

Once he's had time to do a thorough investigation,

he'll realize we're innocent.

But by then, those thieves will have made it to their aeroplane.

Hmm. You might be right.

I've been on a few of those "cat up a tree" calls myself.

They can take quite a time to resolve.

That's why we've got to escape!

What?

We can straighten out the mess we're in later.

But, Rupert, a police constable staging a jailbreak?

That's not...

Well, it just wouldn't be...

By the book?

Exactly!

But we're the only ones who can stop those thieves!

They've cleaned out the Squire,

and who knows how many other people along the river.

(Grunting)

Fantastic! I knew I could count on you, Constable Growler!

This isn't going to look very good on my service record.

Really, Rupert, breaking out of jail is one thing,

but stealing a constable's bicycle?

We're just borrowing it!

This is Constable Robinson, Popton Police Station,

with a general alert. Two suspects,

wanted in connection with a number of burglaries,

have escaped custody. I advise they be approached with caution.

The older of the two is a scruffy looking sort,

who may claim to be a police constable.

His accomplice is wearing a distinctive yellow scarf

and yellow trousers.

Oh, I say! A yellow-crested flycatcher!

He's wearing the old school colours! How smashing!

Point him out, old boy! I'll snap his portrait. What?

I say! Whoa!

Mind your wake, you blistering blatherskite!

Oh, people these days don't have the slightest regard

for the rules of the river.

Now we've got them!


The plane's hidden just 'round the next bend.

When we get there, I want you boys to look lively

and get our swag loaded lickety-split.

Right-o! Load the, err, swag.

Umm, lickety-split, I believe.

Oh. Put all this stuff we've stolen...

Right-o...

Onto the plane.

We're with you so far, old top.

Quickly!

Right-o! Right-o! No problem!

You don't have to spell it out for us, Granddad.

Oh! If I only had a hobby, I'd retire this very minute.

Hear that, Cubby?

We're doing such a topping job as apprentices,

old Granddad wants to leave the family business to us already!

Capital! We must be naturals, what?

Quite! Rather!

(Laughing)

Now!

(Grunting)

Whoa! Ah!

What's happened? Have we run aground?

I say! What?

Look, Cyril! It's Rupert!

I say! How did you get loose, old top?

Must be something of an escape artist. What?

Rather. Smile!

I had some help from my friend, Constable Growler.

Constable, you say?

Now, this is a bit of a sticky wicket, eh, what?

You're under arrest, for the--

(Siren blaring)

Just zipper your lips and leave the talking to me.

I'm Constable Baverstock. What's going on here?

P.C. Growler here, Nutwood Police.

Growler, is it? Well, well, this is a pleasant surprise!

I've heard a lot about you.

Thank goodness! Maybe you can help straighten things out

with Constable Robinson.

It would be my pleasure.

Now then, with the help of my young friend here, I've--

Committed an impressive number of robberies,

stolen a motorboat, escaped police custody,

stolen a constable's bicycle, then the motorboat again,

and it seems you've taken to river piracy as well!

Have I forgotten anything?

No, that about sums it up.

It was horrible, officer!

Here we was, out for a little cruise,

when suddenly, these two set upon us!

Wait! Don't listen to him!

Ooh, that one's a nasty one, he is! Don't let him at me!

It's almost more than this poor old heart can stand.

Don't worry, sir. Everything's under control now.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

frightening a frail old gentleman.

But we can explain.

Uh oh! Err, hello, Constable Robinson.

Umm, I don't suppose you'd like to hear our side of the story?

Come along, Rupert. We may as well go quietly.

This is going to look very, very bad on my service record.

You mean letting them get away?

But it's not your fault.

No, Rupert, I mean borrowing a police vehicle

without the proper authorization.

What? Halt! Hey! You there!

♪

Get a move on, you mullet-heads!

I say!

Quite!

Uh oh! We've been out-manoeuvred!

(Whistle blowing)

Look out!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

All right, that's the last of it.

Hold on, Granddad! Don't forget this!

Good show, Cyril! Wouldn't want to take our leave

without the fruits of our labours. What?

Rather!

I say, Granddad! Wait for us, old boy!

Quite!

Whoa!

There they go! Halt!

Brilliant driving, Constable Growler.

Hey!

There they are!

They're taking off!

♪

Up, up and away, eh, Granddad?

Right-o! Free as the birds! What?

Quite! Quite!

What h*! There's out old pal, Rupert!

What?

Smile, Rupert! Sorry, old bean, but it looks like

the home side has won this one after all.

Oh, I say! Nice toss!

Capital! Smashing!

Say cheese, old tops!


Give us a smile, Granddad!

Ah! I'm blinded!

Oops. Dash it all. What?

(Panting)

I suppose this is really going to look bad

on your service record.

I don't expect I'll even have one

after this is over and done with, Rupert.

You are under arrest for...

I can't see!

I say!

All right, you lot, in you go.

Right-o, Baverstock, old chum!

Coming along quietly and all that!

Smile!

Chin up, Granddad!

I've got some lovely snapshots for the family album! What?

A lifetime of dodging the coppers

to put those two through school, and this is what I get for it.

Ah!

Well then, that about wraps it up.

Congratulations on a very determined bit of police work,

Constable Growler!

Thank you, Constable Robinson.

But I couldn't have done it without my partner.

Yes, you two make quite a team! Well done, Rupert!

Thank you.

But if I may make one suggestion?

Of course.

Next time, you might consider doing things a bit more

by the book!

(Laughing)

♪