04x04 - Rupert and A.R.C.H.I.E.

[bunniefuu]

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(Laughing)

Yahoo!

Whee!

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Dear! Look what I found in the attic.

My old gardening trophies!

Oh, dear.

I'll polish them up and display them on the mantelpiece.

Dear, you were supposed to be organizing the attic,

not emptying it.

I can't wait to fly our new kite!

(Mumbling)I'm sure it's a beauty, Rupert.

I could do with a hand, Bill,

if you're not too busy.

Sorry, Rupert.

Watching you work always makes me hungry.

Hold this while I find the glue.

If you find anything to drink, let me know.

Those ginger snaps made me thirsty!

Lemonade! You're a mind reader, Mrs. Bear!

(Laughing)

Well, Bill, I know what thirsty work kite-building can be.

Oh, my.

Sorry, Mum. Let me clear a spot.

What luck! I was looking for that.

I'm surprised you can find anything.

Now, promise to tidy-up before you go out to play.

I've got my hands full with the spring cleaning.

Your father is helping me.

(Laughing) Don't worry, Mum.

We'll leave it good as new. Won't we, Bill?

Whatever you say, Rupert.

Bill! That's the glue pot!

I thought it was thick lemonade!

(Laughing)

At least it would stick to your ribs!

And my chin!

Yeow!

Sorry, Rupert.

How are we ever going to finish our kite?

Never mind, Bill. Let's go and see the Professor.

He's bound to have some glue we can borrow.

Hello, Professor!

Anybody home?

PROFESSORCome right in, boys!

It looks like the Professor's

in the middle of building a new invention.

Look's like he's inventing a big mess!

(Laughing)

Very jocular, Bill, very jocular.

But inaccurate, I'm afraid!

BOTHHello, Professor.

Hello, boys.

How very fortunate you've dropped in.

There's someone I want you to meet.

You'll be the first residents of Nutwood

to have the honour of meeting A.R.C.H.I.E.

Is A.R.C.H.I.E. one of your distant relatives, Professor?

Ha-ha. Wrong on both counts, Rupert.

A.R.C.H.I.E. has no family, and he's quite nearby!

(Singing)

Greetings. Pleased to meet-meet-meet you.

Hello, A.R.C.H.I.E.

Pleased to meet-meet-meet you too.

What does he do, Professor?

A-ha! More's to the point, Rupert,

what doesn't he do? A.R.C.H.I.E. stands for--

Automated, Remote-Controlled Helper.

For-for-for example.

Let me demonstrate. Hmm.

The laboratory could do with a bit of tidying-up.

Tidy. Polish. C-c-clean!

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help.

Spot-spot-spotless.

A.R.C.H.I.E. help to-to tidy-tidy-tidy.

A.R.C.H.I.E. will revolutionize life in Nutwood.

He's programmed to do all the chores

that rob us of the time to pursue the finer things in life:

music, the arts--

Kite flying!

(Laughing)

Precisely, Bill! Soon, there will be

an A.R.C.H.I.E. in every home in Nutwood.

Think of the possibilities!

I bet Mum would love to have A.R.C.H.I.E.

to help with spring cleaning.

A.R.C.H.I.E. is help-help-helper.

What a splendid idea, Rupert!

A field trial! You can run him through his paces.

And in the meantime, I will finish work

on the rest of my fleet of A.R.C.H.I.E.s.

All right, Professor! Goodbye.

And thanks!

I'll expect a detailed report.

What should we ask A.R.C.H.I.E. to do first?

Hmm. My bicycle has a puncture that needs mending,

and I forgot to make my bed this morning.

Rupert. I hope you've tidied-up like you promised.


I've managed to convince your father

that his gardening trophies belong in the garden shed.

The shed! We forgot to clean-up!

Let's see what you can do, A.R.C.H.I.E.!

A.R.C.H.I.E. help, help, help.

Tidy. Polish. C-c-clean.

(Rattling)

Oh, dear! What is going on?

Who's in there?

(Beeping)

Spot-spot-spotless.

Mum, I'd like you to meet A.R.C.H.I.E.

Pleased to meet-meet-meet you.

A.R.C.H.I.E. c-c-clean.

Are you sure he knows what he's doing, dear?

(Gasping)

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help.

P-p-polish. Careful, A.R.C.H.I.E.!

That was a gift from Uncle Polar!

See, Mum? There's nothing to worry about.

Watch this! Lemonade-ade-ade?

You can put your feet up,

and let A.R.C.H.I.E. take care of everything.

You know, Rupert, that's a very good idea.

Thank you, A.R.C.H.I.E.

Tidy, polish, c-c-clean.

MUMA.R.C.H.I.E.'s doing a wonderful job with the spring cleaning.

The summer, autumn and winter cleaning too.

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help.

You can tell the Professor

A.R.C.H.I.E. is his best invention yet.

Eh? Where's he going with my carnations?

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help Re-re-replant.

Now, see here, A.R.C.H.I.E.!

I liked them right where they were.

In-in-inefficient!

Inefficient?!

Dianthus caryophyllus need-need-need more sunlight.

I'll have you know, I have a shed full of trophies

that are a testament-- Really, dear.

You're arguing with a machine!

He started it! He as much as said

I'm an incompetent gardener!

I'm sure it's nothing personal.

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help! See? He only wants to help.

What a brilliant idea, Rupert!

I imagine there's lots A.R.C.H.I.E. could do

for our friends around Nutwood.

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Back so soon?

I thought you and A.R.C.H.I.E. were helping the neighbours?

That's just the problem.

A.R.C.H.I.E. is so good at helping,

he's finished almost before he's begun.

Awaiting input. A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help.

I think he's getting restless.

Hm, let's see, now. House cleaning?

He's already done it.

Spot-spot-spotless. Painting?

Done as well.

T-t-two coats.

Gardening?

Carnations need sun-sun-sun.

No!

Ah, here we are.

A.R.C.H.I.E. help chop-chop firewood.

Yes, A.R.C.H.I.E.!

Why don't you help chop firewood?

That should keep him out of my carnations.

(Chuckling)

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-help-help--

(Slowing down)

(Rapid beeping)

What was that?

Help, help, help...

We'd better turn him off, Bill.

He seems to be overheating.

Don't be silly.

I told you, Bill.

A.R.C.H.I.E.'s not himself. He looks fine to me.

I bet he could chop a lifetime's supply of firewood

for everyone in Nutwood! Hey!

Chop-chop-chop...

Wood-ood-ood...

Lifetime sup-sup-ply for Nutwood.

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-elp-elp.

(Yelling)

Chop, chop, chop, chop.

He's stuck in wood-chopping gear!

A.R.C.H.I.E., come back!

He thinks he's a lumberjack!

No, A.R.C.H.I.E.! That's not a tree!

Chop-chop-chop wood-ood-ood-ood.

Oh, my gosh.

What happened? I don't know!

His wires are really crossed now.

(Sputtering) Where's he going?


We'd better tell the Professor right away!

Professor!

So there you are, boys!

We've lost A.R.C.H.I.E.!

I was puzzled when he came back without you.

A.R.C.H.I.E.'s here? Yes.

And I must say, he certainly came in handy.

What's A.R.C.H.I.E. doing, Professor?

What he does best, Ruperthelping!

He's assembling the rest of his doubles.

Phew. For a while, there, we thought he'd run amok.

but if you've managed to program him to a new chore.

Now that you mention it, Bill, I didn't need to program him.

A.R.C.H.I.E. volunteered!

I don't like the sound of this.

And do you know the most amazing thing?

He actually suggested some intriguing design changes.

Thunderation! What am I saying?

A.R.C.H.I.E.'s a machine! He can't think for himself!

Gosh! That zap gave A.R.C.H.I.E. more than a shock.

It gave him a mind of his own!

Watch out!

Yeow! My word!

A.R.C.H.I.E. helpers help-elp-elp!

Chop Nutwood wood-ood-ood. Lifetime sup-sup-supply.

When A.R.C.H.I.E. gets an idea in his head,

there's no stopping him!

He wants to help by cutting everyone in Nutwood

a lifetime's supply of firewood!

Ill take care of this. Hand me the remote control.

Um, I was getting to that.

PROFESSOROh, my!

Multiply by , square the result, and--

Great Scott!

According to my rough calculations,

A.R.C.H.I.E. and his helpers are about to deforest

the entire countryside!

(Rumbling)

(Screaming)

A.R.C.H.I.E. help-elp-elp.

Nutwood de-de-depending on me.

A.R.C.H.I.E., wait! You've got it all wrong!

We want you to stop!

Rupert. What's going on?

A.R.C.H.I.E.! Shut down all functions immediately!

Cannot accept command from inefficient processor.

Processor?!

I'll have you know, I'm a professor

with degrees from three universities.

He's a monster! It isn't A.R.C.H.I.E.'s fault.

PROFESSORHe won't respond.

I'm going to repair the remote controller.

I just hope I can shut him down that way!

I'd better call an emergency meeting of all forest folk.

Don't think the Autumn Elves will be happy

at being roused up from their naps three months early!

I say we crush that tin can before he does any real damage!

I told you.

If those Elves don't sleep from winter to summer,

there's no reasoning with them. He doesn't mean any harm.

He only wants to help.

He's got a funny way of showing it!

We'll help him onto the scrap heap!

I wasn't rousted from a sound sleep to stand idly by

while the forest is mowed down around my ears!

(All chattering)

Please, give us a little time

to bring A.R.C.H.I.E. back to his senses.

We know you mean well, Rupert.

But I must warn you, if you can't stop A.R.C.H.I.E.,

we will!

There must be a way to stop him.

Why can't we think of it?

Sometimes it's difficult to see the forest for the trees.

Hey! That gives me an idea.

Ha-ha! What do you know?

For once, I'm the one with the plan.

Tree, cut, timber, fall.

Nutwood-wood-wood for all.

(Beeping)

It looks as though A.R.C.H.I.E. is planning his next move.

What do we do, Bill?

We just need to get a little closer.

Now what?

BILLWe de-activate them.

How do we do that?

Uh, I was hoping you'd take over from here.

A.R.C.H.I.E. helpers help A.R.C.H.I.E.

RUPERTUh-oh! They're moving out!

Ha!

Take that, that, that, and this!

Brilliant plan, Bill.

Run for it!

Let's hope A.R.C.H.I.E.s can't jump.

They don't need to!

(Yelling)

He's gaining on us!

(Fizzling)

Told you it was a good plan.

I don't think there's any permanent damage.


At least we know A.R.C.H.I.E.s hate baths.

Bill, that's it!

If they don't like baths,

imagine what they think of showers!

A.R.C.H.I.E. helpers help, help.

It's not working.

A.R.C.H.I.E. seems to have re-programmed himself

to ignore any further input

until he's finished his task at hand!

We'd better alert the others.

I think we can stop him, Professor,

but we'll need your flying machine.

Brilliant, my boy! Nutwood will be safe by tea time.

All we need is a little help from the Clerk of the Weather.

MANQuite impossible.

Nutwood isn't scheduled for rain until a week from Tuesday.

We'll be sending a lovely little April shower.

To be perfectly honest, we were hoping

for something more in the 'cats and dogs' category.

And we need it immediately, sir.

It's against regulations.

Imagine what chaos the weather would be in

if I started granting requests!

Why, the farmers alone would drive me to distraction!

Not to mention tourists on vacation

and children with brand new ice skates.

Couldn't you make an exception? If it doesn't rain soon,

there'll be nothing left in Nutwood for it to rain on.

I shudder to think of the paperwork.

Thank you.

Hmm. Let me see.

Twister. Cyclone. Drizzle.

Oh, here we are. Cats and dogs.

Tree, cut, timber, fall.

Nutwood-wood-wood for all.

A.R.C.H.I.E. helpers help A.R.C.H.I.E. help, help, help.

(Sputtering)

(All yelling)

Rupert! You're too late.

Help is on the way, Bill!

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It's working!

Tut tut, looks like rain.

(Beeping)

BILLIt's not working!

Nutwood forest is doomed!

A.R.C.H.I.E.'s computer brain

seems to have thought of every eventuality.

(Thunder rumbling)

Thunder! We're not beaten yet.

Head for my house, Professor!

I must say, under less urgent circumstances,

I would recommend against implementing

such a risky plan, Rupert.

Nutwood-wood-wood for all.

(Metal grinding) (Gasping)

(Cheering)

(Yelling)

Rupert! This is no weather for kite flying!

That's what I'm counting on, Bill!

(Gasping) Oh, my!

There he is!

Get ready, Professor!

Bull's eye!

Sorry, A.R.C.H.I.E., but if a shock turned you on,

another one might turn you off.

PROFESSORLaunch successful, Rupert!

Kite flying, conditions inappropriate, inefficient--

Pow-pow-pow...

S-s-surge.

Shut down circuits immediately...

(Cheering)

Bravo, Rupert!

Well done, Rupert!

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Hand me the glue, Bill.

I'm sure it's under here somewhere.

PROFESSORNeed some help, boys?

RUPERTHello, Professor! A.R.C.H.I.E.!

How is he, Professor?

Well, he had quite a headache,

but I was able to get him fixed-up in no time.

I realize now that poor A.R.C.H.I.E.

was simply too overloaded with all manner of tasks,

so I decided to program him to do important thing.

A.R.C.H.I.E. help!

Oh, no! The gardening is all done, A.R.C.H.I.E.!

(Laughing)

Not to worry, Mr. Bear.

BILLKite building!

Brilliant, Professor!

Conditions optimum. Go fly a kite.

Hmm. Let me see that, A.R.C.H.I.E.

I think the tail is a bit too long.

Error. Information incorrect.

See here, A.R.C.H.I.E. I've been building kites

since before you were a gleam in the Professor's eye.

(Laughing)

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