04x09 - Bugs Bunny in Funeral for A Fudd/Love Goat

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

Watch it!

You got a permit for that ax?

No.

It says on that sign you need a permit.

Huh? What sign?

You got a permit for that lump?

[giggles]

Oh, my head.

Huh?

Oh, that darn rabbit!

He almost k*lled me with that ax.

[bell dinging]

Ooh! That gives me an idea.

[glass shatters]

Ow!

That rabbit hit me so hard

on my soft little head!

Everything is going dark.

My life is slipping away.

I feel so cold!

Oh!

[scoffs] Oh brother.

I'm dying!

Dying!

[laughs wickedly]

Do you hear that, anyone who might be listening?

I'm about to be dead.

So if you come up out of your rabbit hole,

no one will harm you because I'm dead now.

[coughs]

[inhales]

Oh, what have I done!

I'm not gonna let you die, buddy.

[paddles hum, beep]

Clear!

Clear!

Clear!

Come on, come on.

[gasps] He's gone.

[wails] No!

I couldn't save him.

Why?

The best thing I can do is give him a proper send-off.

It's all I can do for you now.

-[snoring] -[Bugs] Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today

to mourn the loss of our friend...

[Bugs sobbing]

Elmer J. Fudd.

Is he putting on a funeral?

For me?

[Bugs wailing]

And now I'd like to say a few words

about my friend, Elmer.

Handsome, intelligent, compassionate,

and a great innovator.

Gee, I didn't realize he felt that way about me.

[Bugs] Well, let me tell you, I would never use

any of these words to describe that bum.

Bum?

Because those words just aren't good enough to describe

what an amazing person he was.

[wails]

Aww.

Elmer was truly a generous man

who would give you the shirt off his back.

Well, that's nice.

But you wouldn't want it

'cause it stunk so bad from his horrific BO.

[laughs smugly]

His BO.

Enough with the insults, rabbit!

I'm not dead!

[gasps] I can almost hear his voice now.

That's because I'm right here.

And now for a few words from Elmer's mother.

Mommy?

Oh, how I miss my poor, sweet boy.

He was taken too soon.

In the prime of his middle age.

I am bereft without my little angel.

The light of my life.

My perfect boy!

I love him.

I'm his mother, for cripes' sakes.

Oh! [giggles]

[shushes]

Oh, my son.

I can almost feel his presence.

Yeah, Ma, 'cause I'm right here.

[wailing]

Please don't cry, Ma. I'm here, I'm here.

I miss him so much.

It's too much to bear.

Daddy?

Uh, to be honest, Ma, he was a disappointment to me.

He never grew any hair on his chest.

He died a little boy, not a man.

But Daddy, what's more manly

than trying to k*ll a fuzzy little animal?

Now that you mention it, I'm disappointed too.

He couldn't find a nice girl and settle down.

I'm still here. There's still time.

I'll never know the joy

of feeding my grandchildren rabbit stew.

But I'm not dead.

I'll prove it.

See! I'm...

[gasps]

...dead.

No! It's too horrible.

I don't want to be dead. I don't want to be dead.

I still have so much to live for.

I was gonna travel the world.

[hesitates] And cut my toenails.

And, uh...

Oh, yeah! Reheat that casserole in the fridge,

clean out the lint trap in the dryer,

unclog my toilet.

Huh?

[enchanting instrumental music playing]

Ah, don't cry, Elmer.

Now you can play with all the angels in heaven.

Really?

[exclaims]

Fly away home, little cherub.

[grunting]

Huh? I'm not flying.

Hmm, what you need is a running start.

Huh?

Wee, I'm flying! I'm flying!

[laughs exultantly]

[crashes]

Oh, well, he's in a better place now.

Well, now, I wouldn't say that.

[laughs maniacally]

[Bugs] Hey! Watch it!

[Bugs whooping]

[theme music playing]

[theme music playing]

Oh, Petunia. My swine-y sweetheart.

I can't wait to see the look on your face tonight

when I show you this.

[wedding march playing]

Uh-oh, I better hurry to the restaurant

so I don't miss my reservation.

-See ya, Daffy. -See ya, Porky.

Boy, Daffy sure loves his goats.

Goat!

Daffy! What is that wild goat doing in the house?

Oh, this is Goaty.

My new goat pal.

Oh, I think it likes you.

[straining]

Stop that! Bad goat!

Oh, my goodness!

Are you okay, Goaty?

Maybe eating Porky's slippers will make you feel better.

Daffy!

I got a very important date tonight,

and I don't wanna worry about

a dirty goat ruining our house.

Please get rid of it.

An important date, huh?

What's so important about it?

Well, since you asked, I'm gonna propose to Petunia.

We've been going steady for a while,

and I figured it was time to get hitched.

I even picked out the perfect ring.

See?

You mean that ring?

[screams]

Cough it up! Cough it up!

[crashes]

[Porky screaming]

Hold on, Porky!

I'll save you!

[Porky screaming]

Everyone just calm down.

I'm gonna perform the Hendrix maneuver on old Goaty

and you just stand over there

and get ready to catch that ring

when it flies out of its mouth.

All right. Let's do it.

Ready? One, two...

That wasn't the ring. I think it was a tin can.

Hmm, let me try again.

Maybe it's the next one.

It's gotta be in there somewhere.

Oh, boy! I can buy Petunia a whole mess of rings.

All right, take five, Goaty.

Gee, Porky, that ring must be stuck.

I can't propose to Petunia without a ring.

Then there's only one thing left to do.

What's that?

To make you a sandwich.

Lie here, please.

Are you crazy?

Yes!

But that's neither here nor there.

You see, Goaty will eat the sandwich version of you.

And once you're in the stomach,

you'll find the ring, no problem.

Well, I suppose that makes... It follows a certain logic.

Attaboy, Porky. Get nice and comfy.

Mustard.

Relish.

And a couple of jalapenos for kick.

[screams]

When you find the ring,

tug the rope twice and I'll haul you out.

Okay.

Ham sandwich! Come and get it!

[screaming]

[chomping]

[Porky screaming]

That'll go, Goaty. That'll do.

Ugh.

Gross.

Now, where is that ring?

Gotta find that ring.

[gasps]

My ring!

[whistling]

[Porky] Daffy, pull me out of here.

I got the ring.

Way to go, Porky.

Hey, you want me to make you a sandwich?

No, I gotta get to the restaurant.

Here I come, Petunia!

Great guy, but yeech.

His cologne smells like the inside of a goat.

Wow, Porky.

It's so nice to be on a date with you.

And you picked such a romantic restaurant.

A lovely restaurant for a lovely pig.

[giggles] Aren't you the sweetest?

Oh, did you say there was something you wanted to ask me?

Well, yeah, I, uh...

[chuckles nervously] I was thinking about it and, uh...

Oh, what the heck.

Here it goes.

[gasps] Oh.

Porky?

Petunia Pig, will you marry...

Will you marry...

What do you say we tie the knot?

[Petunia] Oh.

What the...

It's a lovely gesture, Porky.

I just wish you'd picked something more, um,

traditional to propose with.

You know, like that couple over there.

[Daffy exclaims]

Oh, Goaty!

I hoped, but I never imagined.

I do. I do!

I do!

[whooping triumphantly]

[theme music playing]

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