02x03 - #DoubleDanvers

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoo! ♪
[theme song playing]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

Which one of you snot-nosed
sacks of freakshow waste

wants to shred
with the Malevolent Maniacs?

- [audience cheering]
- Woo-hoo! Yeah.

All right, dirtbag.
Get up here!

[chanting] Shred! Shred! Shred!

- Yeah!
- Look at her go!

- [alarm blaring]
- Yeah!

Gah!

- Gah!
- [alarm stops]

Not only does Note-A-Rang allows
kids to slip notes in class,

it also doubles
as a stylish headband.

Ooh! Fashionable
and functional.

[Kara] Make way! I'm late.

[muffled speaking] What's this?

I'm practicing my pitch for
Ted Kord of Kord Enterprises.

The billionaire
whiz-kid scientist/investor

coming here Friday.

In my defense,

this does sound like something
I would totally tune out.

Oh... Kord's looking
for the next teen trend.

That's why
I'm showing off inventions

like my selfie sipper.

[camera shutter clicks]

It's also why you agreed to be
here Friday night to help me.

- [chuckles nervously] Remember?
- I did what now?

Oh... I need a young
dope hipster like you

to tell Kord
how fly all my gear is.

[hesitates] Oh... I...

Fine. Fine. Just don't
talk like that again...

- [cell phone ringing]
- ...ever.

[exclaims] I'm late!

Remember, Friday...

- [door shuts]
- ...night.

- [school bell rings]
- [Kara] I had that dream again.

There I was

- shredding on stage...
- [heavy metal music playing]

...with the Malevolent Maniacs.

I mean,
check out this new track

the Maniacs
posted on their site.

- [loud music playing]
- How can anyone scream like that?

Gah! No way!

The Maniacs are playing
this Friday at the Lazarus Pit.

At the last 23 pit shows,

they've brought one lucky
fan on stage to shred!

My dream... My dream is happening.
[gasps] Gah!

And two tickets
for Friday night purchased!

Jess, prepare
to have your face melted.

Aren't you supposed to help
Jeremiah with a big meeting Friday?

Oh... Right.

- Wait, he told you?
- No, he packed this in your lunch.

"Thanks in advance

for helping me with my big meeting Friday.
Love, Jeremiah."

It must be
really important to him.

Yeah, I guess.

[exclaims] I wish I could be
in two places at the same time.

- [groans]
- Maybe I can.

So, all you gotta do
is pretend to be me

and act like
everything Jeremiah does

in front of this rich dork
is totally k*ller.

Got it?

Got it, ugly me.

k*ll rich dork.

Yep. Wait!

What? No. What? No.
Don't do that.

No, just be...

You know... normal.

Okay, me be normal.

But ugly me must do something
for Bizarro.

It's Kara, or Supergirl, but...
[laughs hesitantly] Okay.

[whispers indistinctly]

Gah!

[Kara] Where is she?

[knocking at door]

[Bizarro] Hello, parents.

It is me, not Bizarro Kara.

All right, a few notes.

One, those were not my folks.

Two, if they were,
I wouldn't introduce myself.

Three, I tend
not to refer to myself

as "Not Bizarro Kara."

And, this is what you wore?

[farts]

- [mutters]
- Still missing something. Hmm.

Ah! Perfect!

Jeremiah made this for me
from his rare gem collection.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that's Kord.

Okay, remember, keep your
answers short, say things like,

"Yeah," "No," and "Cool."

[Bizarro] Yeah. No. Cool.

Also, try to smile a lot.

[grunts]

Okay, you know what?
Don't smile.

Also, when in doubt,
ask yourself,

"What would Kara do?" Got it?

[shudders]

Ask yourself,
"What would ugly me do?"

- [door opens]
- Name's Ted Kord.

No relation
to Kord Enterprises,

the company that Business-Bro Magazinecalls
an up and coming powerhouse.

Just kidding. Total relation.

It's me. I'm on the cover.
See? [chuckles] Keep it.

You must be Kara Danvers.

Yeah.

Couldn't find anything better
to do on a Friday night?

No.

Hm. Me neither, apparently.

Cool.

Mr. Kord, it's an honor to...

Hey, that's swell.

Now, let's get down
to business. Right, kid?

Yeah.

You don't talk much, do you?

[Bizarro] No.

[Kord] I like that.

[bass drum sounding]

[heavy metal music playing]

Every time someone gets picked,
they're standing right here.

So, even though
this is the opening act,

we can't move an inch.

Hey! What ever happened
to Jeremiah's big work dinner?

[winces] Huh?

Oh, um, you know,
he postponed it.

You must be very special

for him to reschedule
such an important night.

Oh. [chuckles nervously]
Nah, nah, not that special.

He just needs
someone to stand there

and play along.

Anyone can do that, right?

What? Don't give me that look.

That's your,

"Kara, you're doing something
you know you shouldn't,

but are doing it
anyway," look.

Well, I'm not doing anything,

so just forget it. Eh?

[trails off] Forget it...

[sweat spluttering]

Fine, I asked Bizarro to take my
place at Jeremiah's pitch tonight.

Kara! How could you?

Don't worry.

I am 100% positive

that Bizarro is doing great!

Are you sure about that?

What are you doing here?

Too many questions.

So, me asked me-self

what would ugly me do,

"Blow off boring dinner
and go bang head."

[music stops]

We are the Malevolent Maniacs!

You look at me,
you have to do this.

And if anything else comes up,
call me.

Yeah. [whoops]

See! I told you...

[cell phone ringing]

[Bizarro] Me locked out.

- Then knock!
- Knock door down?

No! Just... Gah! Hold on!

[whoops]

- [cell phone ringing]
- Me...

Someone, not me,

clog toilet.

- Ugh.
- [whoops]

[cell phone ringing]

Not going to believe it...

Me locked out again.

Which of you snort-nosed sacks of
freakshow waste wants to shred

with the Malevolent Maniacs?

- Yeah!
- [cell phone ringing]

What now?

Me not want to do this.

There you are, Kara. Come on.

We're got one last chance
to wow Kord.

[heavy metal music playing
from the phone]

Look,
I was a little off tonight,

but no matter
how this turns out,

I'm glad you were here with me.

[phone beeps]

All right,
dirtbag, get up here!

[muffled cheering]

Teens are messy,

but what kid does laundry?

[chuckles] Well, thanks to
Laundry Mist spray-on detergent,

all of them.

Show him, Kara.

Whoa! She works out.

[sparking]

[exclaims] I'm here.

I'm so sorry I ditched you
for the Maniacs show.

- You are way more important than...
- Kara?

I'm very touched,

but if you're you, who's this?

Gah, got to admit,

did not think
my big confession through.

Interesting.

The ethanoic acid
from the cleaner

must be altering...

The tanzanite's
plaocroistic structure

on a molecular level!

[device beeps]

Hm. Low-level radiation...

Weird. [chuckles nervously]

It's like this is some kind
of synthetic version of...

kryptonite.

[gasps]

[growls]

[grunts]

[growls]

[exclaims]

Rich dork
with all these questions,

now me have question for you.

You scared of heights?

[Kord screams]

Guys, I can explain everything.

No need!

Word of my work got out

and now supervillains are
trying to steal my inventions.

- Huh!
- Okay.

[groans]

Hm.

So, is purple kryptonite
a thing?

Huh. Don't be silly.

Periwinkle kryptonite.
Now that's a thing.

Fine, Clark.

It's harmless.
Just makes you giddy.

And what would the opposite
of giddy be?

You know, like if, say,

a Bizarro
fell under its effects?

Rage. Sheer devastation.
[scoffs]

- But, wait, Kara, you didn't give your Bizarro...
- [cuts the phone line]

[chuckles maniacally]

Bizarro, wait.

[grunts]

[Note-A-Rang whips]

- [Kord screams]
- Whoa!

[distant screaming]

[Note-A-Rang whips]

[Bizarro snickers]

Ugly me missed.

[laughs maniacally]

[hypnotizes]

[groans]

Yeah, you better fly.

[snickers] Fly.

[laughs maniacally]
Wait, what's going on?

Oh... [laughs] Right. Giddy.

[twinkles]

[both panting]

Sorry for the trouble.

I mean, Kara is sorry.

I mean, at least she would be
if she were here,

but she's not, so...

When it comes to the teen
market, you're awful,

but you got a head for science.
So, uh, let's keep talking.

Hey, Supergirl, aren't you
gonna go after Bizarro?

You know bad guys, ma'am.

I'm sure
I'll be seeing her again soon.

Too soon.

Should have never
made that stupid deal.

- [audience cheering]
- [vocalizing]

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Yeah, I want
To stay up past eight ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

Ugh. I liked you better angry.



[theme music playing]