03x09 - Hot Air Buffoon - Ploys R' Us

[bunniefuu]

Sugar...

spice...

And everything nice.

These were
the ingredients chosen

to create the
perfect little girl.

But Professor Utonium
accidentally added

an extra ingredient
to the concoction--

Chemical X.

[expl*si*n]

Thus, the Powerpuff Girls
were born!

Using their ultrasuper powers,

Blossom, Bubbles,
and Buttercup

have dedicated their lives
to fighting crime

and the forces of evil!

NARRATOR:
The city of Town--

never mind
all that hoo-ha!

I got an emergency!

Powerpuff Girls, help!

The bank is being burgled
by barefoot bandits!

Oh, thanks.

Powerpuff Girls, help!

A dinosaur is
destroying downtown.

Uh, thank you.

Powerpuff Girls, help!

Jewels are being
'jacked by Jill!

Er, thanks.

Powerpuff Girls!

Powerpuff Girls!

Powerpuff Girls!

Powerpuff Girls!

Powerpuff Girls!

Whew! What a day!

Eh, Ms. Bellum?

Who the heck are you?!

I'm the nighttime
cleaning staff.

Well, you're in
kind of early, then.

We don't pay overtime,
you know.

It's 11:30.



Well, I guess
time sure flies

when I'm keeping
my fair city safe.

CLEANING WOMAN:
You clod!

Do you really believe
that you are responsible

for keeping this town safe?

You, little man, are nothing
but a political beard

hiding behind
the real head of this town!

Who? Ms. Bellum?

No, the Powerpuff Girls!

They're the ones
busting their butts

and risking their lives
out there in the mess,

while you sit here in the
comfort of your easy chair!

Well, I do
the phone thingy.

Oh, well, pardon me!

If anything should happen
to your dialing finger...

P.S., I didn't
vote for you.

Ooh, I'll show her!

I'll have the Powerpuff Girls
beat her up!

Aah!

[GASPS]

Mayor,
are you all right?

All right?! all right?!

I feel great!

In fact, I've never felt
better in my life!

I'm glad you're here,
Ms. Bellum,

'cause it's time
to get to work!

Work? What work?

All you ever do is sit around
calling the Powerpuff--

enough of your silly talk!

It's time to seize
the helm, baby!

Mmm!

Uh, do you want me
to leave for that?

To the roof, my good woman!

Ha ha ha!

Mayor,
where are we going?

Patience, woman!
You'll know soon enough.

Behold...The dirigible!

Oh, gosh,
she's a beauty!

Mayor,
what's about to happen?

I'm glad you asked that
question, Ms. Bellum.

What's about
to happen is,

I, the Mayor
of Townsville,

am embarking
on a new deal.

No longer will I sit on my rear
and have others doing my work,

for I, the Mayor
of Townsville,

will defend
my precious city

from the likes of
evil criminals.

Because I am...

the Mayor
of Townsville!

Keep an eye on things
for me, Ms. Bellum.

Ms. BELLUM:
Oh, no! I can't let you go

on this crazy
thing alone.

As you wish. You can be
my trusty sidekick.

And away we go!

MAYOR:
Hoo-hoo! Higher, farther, faster!

Citizens of Townsville,
do not fear!

Your Mayor is here!

From up here,
I can see everything.

All of Townsville will be
under my watchful eye.

But, sir, what could you
possibly do to protect Townsville

while floating at the mercy
of every stray wind

in a hopelessly unguidable
hot air balloon?

Hmm! Well, I'll show
you, Miss Smarty-face!

Smarty-face?

I got it stashed right
down here somewhere.

The opening chapter in
a book called Justice!

With this newfangled
close-up seeing contraption,

I can close in on despicable
crime-committers

committing crimes
despicably.

And with this,
the closing chapter

in a book called Justice!

I call this baby...

The equalizer!

Bull's-eye!

Things seem to be quiet
in Townsville park.

Hark! A heinous act!

Time to equalize.

Take this, no-gooder!

Ha ha h* h*!
Direct hit!

Yay! Wow, Mayor,
I'm impressed.

I mean, I have my doubts,
but you have a real knack for this.

Oh, crimefighting's
a breeze.

You just have to know
where to look--

Like the mall
parking lot!

Oh, no, you don't,
Mr. Grand theft auto!

Eat leather fist!

Ha ha! Two for two!

Hmm. At this rate, we won't
need those girls anymore.

But I digress.

Crime is afoot, and I am here
to give a hand in fighting it!

Forward, Ms. Bellum!

Hey, I'm thirsty.

Convenient!

I'll take some
lemonade, kids.

[SLURPING]

MAYOR:
Take that, litterbug!

[BEEPING]

Finally, my first paycheck!

Now I can pay all those bills,
not to mention feed my family.

Mayor, that guy was only making
a withdrawal from his account!

No time for
small talk now.

I've got crimes
to bust!

Hey, what's that
behind you?

Who? What? Where?

That will keep
you ruffians at bay!

Mayor, those people are paid
to fight! They're boxers!

Oh, look--more criming!
Take this!

- Mayor, those are tourists!
- And some of this!

- Oh, my gosh! Sorry!
- And a little of that!

- How about some of this?
- Mayor, control yourself!

- Please stop!
- Ha ha ha!

- Oh, don't!
- Vile scum!

NARRATOR:
Oh, no!

The Mayor's
gone stark, raving mad!

Where are the Powerpuff Girls
when you need them?

Our phone
hasn't rung all day.

You guys!
It hasn't rung all day!

So what? You know
that the Mayor always

calls when
something is wrong.

Oh!
You're bonking me!

But that's just it!

The Mayor always calls,
and he hasn't today.

That's what's so weird.
I think something's wrong.

Yeah, yeah.
All I know is

I'm bonking up
a new high score.

Blossom's right.
He does always call.

Maybe we
should call him.

I'll give it a try.

[TONE SOUNDS]

WOMAN:
We're sorry.

The number you have reached
has been disconnected.

Please hang up
and try again.

Well, that didn't work.

Come on,
you worrywarts.

You're ruining
my concentration.

Let's just fly
to the Mayor's office,

and I'll prove
everything's ok.

BUTTERCUP:
See?

I...Told you everything
would be ok.

What? What?

Something wrong has
obviously happened here,

and we're going
to find out!

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

Wait! What's
going on here?

We're looking
for the Mayor.

Looking for him?
We're running from him!

Aaah!

Running from the Mayor?

[ALL GASP]

Ha ha ha ha!

This town is clean!

Mayor, what in blazes
are you doing?

Ms. BELLUM:
Girls! Thank goodness you're here.

Oh, no, you don't,
you little glory hogs!

This is my parade!
Now, get back!

Mayor, what are...
you...doing?!

This is my town,

And I'm going to be
the hero of my town, so get!

Eee! Aah! Aah!

[WINDOW SHATTERS]

[ALARM SOUNDING]

Sir, our missiles
are launching,

and there's
nothing we can do!

[high-pitched screaming]

Yee-ha! Yee-ha!

Mayor, that last m*ssile is
about to destroy Townsville!

This looks like
a job for...

The equalizer!

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

NARRATOR:
Run, pooch, run!

Oh, I can't bear to watch!

[CLANK]

[ALL CHEERING]

Hey, what's that?

Oh, I'm sorry, girls.

I just wanted to save
the town myself for once.

I really wanted
to help out.

But you can help out.

I can?

Yeah. It can be your job
to sit on your duff

and call us when
there's trouble.

Really?

That's sounds hard.
You think I can?

Of course you can.
So what do you say?

Mmm...I'll do it!

NARRATOR:
Ha ha ha!

Oh, Mayor, you crazy
old balloonatic!

What would Townsville do
without you?

Probably be
a lot better off.

And so, once again,
the day is saved...

Thanks to the
Powerpuff Girls!

NARRATOR:
The city of Townsville--

A fortunate locale
that has had bestowed upon it

the greatest gift of all...

The Powerpuff Girls!

[ALL YAWNING]

Go away, sun!

Ooh...Ah...

Oh, just


Piggy!

Cool! A glove!

A Learn-n-Listen!

Goopy Goop!
Crayons!

I Love Chemistry!

A Princess Patty!

A Dr. Dee Dee!

A Beefy Betty!

Pogo stick!

[CRASH]

Jump rope!

Uncle Midriff!

Tricycling!
Skateboarding!

Rollerblading!

Jokes!
[BLLLLT]

Jacks!
Junk!

Magic!

Jumping!
Dolls!

Ball!

Whoa, Buttercup...

Look what you did
to the window!

Forget the window!
What about my ball?

Don't worry. There's many
more where that came from.

See?

I wonder why we got
all these presents.

Yeah. It's not
our birthdays.

Maybe it's just 'cause
we're such good girls,

he thought
we deserved them.

Let's go thank him!

ALL:
Professor!

Professor! Profe--

BLOSSOM:
Shh! He's sleeping.

Thank you,
Professor!

Yeah, thanks.

Thank you,
Professor!

[KISSES]

Protons...

[SNORING]

Quantum physics...

[TOY SQUEAKING]

[BUZZING]
[ALL GROAN]

Oh, hi, Mayor.
What a surprise.

A robbery? Ok,
we'll be right there.

What a bummer!

You said it!

I know, but if we hurry,
we can get back and play.

What place got hit,
anyway?

The Mayor couldn't remember
the name of the store,

but it's at the corner
of 5th and 6th.

[ALL GASP]

Don't worry,
Mr. Giuseppi.

The Powerpuff Girls will
catch that toy-stealin' sicko.

Won't they, Mayor?
Mayor!

Mama loves you!

[BELL RINGS]

OFFICER:
Ah, girls! Great, you're here.

Mr. Giuseppi was just about to
tell us what was stolen.

[ITALIAN ACCENT]
Oh, well, let's see...

A Learn-n-Listen,
a Dr. Dee Dee, some jacks...

A glove, a skateboard, and...
How do you say... Goopy Goop.

A pogo stick
and many, many dolls.

Is that all?
That's not even half of it!

Oh, uh...
Powerpuff telepathy?

Ha ha...Ha.

OFFICER:
Well, that's good enough to start.

Don't worry,
Mr. Giuseppi.

The girls will find
your culprit...

Whoever it is.

Imagine...
The Professor, a thief!

A criminal living in our
house this whole time!

Stop it!
Just stop it!

This is our Professor
you're talking about!

Haven't you heard of
"innocent until proven guilty"?

Look!
Look!

That good-for-nothing
crook! Follow him!

Hold it right there,
Professor!

GIRLS:
Professor?

What's wrong
with him?

Is he dead?

No, dummy.
The dead don't walk.

Not unless...
He's a zombie!

No, Bubbles.
I think he's a somnambulist.

He's a somnambulist!

Hey, what's
a somnambulist?

A sleepwalker.

And they have no control
over their actions

while they're asleep, right?

Right. And when they
wake up, they have no idea

what they did while
they were sleepwalking.

So he's not
really a crook.

Then there's only
one thing to do!

[ALL ASKING
FOR DIFFERENT TOYS]

[NO AUDIO]

No, Mayor, we haven't
found the crook yet!

[ALL LAUGHING]

PROFESSOR:
Oh, girls? What's going on in there?

Open the door!

Uh, just a minute,
Professor!

We're...Making you
something.

It's, um, uh,
a surprise.

Yeah, uh...

Uh...Hold on!

Um...Ok, you can
come in now!

Oh, I just love
surprises!

I wonder what
it could possibly--

Uh...Be?

[RUMBLING]

Hee hee hee!

And just where did you
get all these toys?

Um...From the city?

Yeah, they're
from the city.

For...Saving the day?

Ok, girls. Have fun!

Boy, was that ever
a wonderful surprise!

See ya!

[SIGHS]
That was close.

Almost too close.

Maybe we'd better quit.

Yeah.

ALL: Nah!

Ok, and don't forget--
it's the green one, not the blue one.

Yeah, the number-5
series crimefighter.

[BELL ON DOOR RINGS]

Hi. I'm Larry,
the shivering chipmunk.

Brrr! I'm cold.
I need a sweater.

Hi. I'm Larry,
the shivering chipmunk.

Brrr! I'm cold.
I need a sweater.

Hi. I'm Larry,
the shivering chipmunk.

Brrr! I'm cold.
I need a sweater.

Hi. I'm Larry,
the shivering chipmunk.

Brrr! I'm cold.
I need a sweater.

Oh! Don't worry, girls.

We'll make sure
he gets it right this time.

[BELL RINGS]

BUTTERCUP:
Why is he stopping?

Hold it right there!

MAYOR:
Give up, Professor!

We've got you surrounded!

Never!
GIRLS: Professor!

Nobody move,
or the Mayor gets it!

Professor!
Wait!

What are
you doing?

MAN OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
Professor, just relax...

and put the Mayor down.

[PANTING]
Never!

Unh!

Now!
GIRLS: No!

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nf*re CONTINUES]

[THUD]

[BELL TOLLING]

It's over.

Good job, boys.

[ALL CRYING]

ALL: It's all our fault!
It's all our fault!

And just what is that
supposed to mean?

We knew it was
the Professor.

But all the toys...

and we couldn't stop!

And all the toys!

And now, he's...He's...

Gone!

PROFESSOR:
Not exactly.

Now he's covered with fake
b*llet suction thingies.

GIRLS:
Professor! You're alive!

But I don't understand.

We knew the entire
time, girls.

The Mayor?

When you're in
a profession like mine,

you got to know
how to fake it.

Those guys?

PROFESSOR:
Real cops, toy g*ns.

So, girls, did you
learn your lesson?

Sure did.

Stealing is a crime.

No matter what
the circumstances.

GIRLS:
We're sorry!

Oh, well, no harm done...

Uh, physical, that is.

The toys are paid for,
and you girls can keep them all.

Cool!
Yay!

No, girls,
it wouldn't be right.

We don't deserve them.

Then I guess
I'll have to take them.

And give them
to charity?

Heck, no! For me!

I've always wanted
a Beefy Betty.

NARRATOR:
T.M.I., Mr. Mayor...

Too much information.

So, once again,
the day is saved...

From the Powerpuff Girls,
by the Powerpuff Girls.

♪ Blossom,
commander and the leader ♪

♪ Bubbles,
she is the joy and the laughter ♪

♪ Buttercup,
she's the toughest fighter ♪

♪ Powerpuffs
save the day ♪

♪ Fighting crime ♪

♪ Trying to
save the world ♪

♪ Here they come,
just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

♪ Fighting crime ♪

♪ Trying to
save the world ♪

♪ Here they come,
just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

Powerpuff!