02x08 - Mascot

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪]

[Eerie wind howls]

- [Crowd cheering]:
- go, bulldogs! Go! Woof, woof!

- Go, bulldogs! Go!
- Woof, woof!

Go, bulldogs! Go! Woof, woof!

Go, bull... [Cheering erupts]

[Cheerleaders]: go, bulldogs!

- Go, bulldogs! Go!
- Woof, woof!

Go, bulldogs! Go! Woof, woof!

Go, bulldogs! Go!

Woof, woof!

Yeah!

Go, bulldogs! Go! Woof, woof!

Go, bulldogs! Go!

Woof, woof!

[Laughter breaks out]

Whoo! Yeah!

[Laughter persists]

We scored on

Our own team.

So? At least we scored.

I thought high school

- Was supposed to be
- the best time of our lives.

I mean, could this place

Get any sadder?

[Clunk-clunk]

[Crowd murmuring]

- [Announcer, monotonously]:
- ladies and germs...

Give it up

For "big yellow."

[Crowd muttering]

Guess I spoke too soon.

What the heck

Is that thing anyway?

- Looks like he crawled
- out of some old guy's nose

And grew claws.

- [Drake]: well,
- yellow valley is home

- To some prehistoric
- marsupials.

- It could be
- a nod to that.

Marsupials?

Yeah. Like opossums.

That thing does not

Look like a opossum!

- How the heck do you
- know that, anyway?

I swear, you are the king

Of useless information.

Well, you asked!

You know...

I have a theory...

You can judge a school

Based on its mascot.

I mean, look at

Those guys...

- Who doesn't love
- a bulldog?

Girls love bulldogs.

- Babies take pictures
- with bulldogs.

- It's a crime
- not to love bulldogs,

And, sure enough,

They're undefeated.

The only thing

Holding our school back

Is that lame mascot.

[Drake]: well, all we need

Is 50 student signatures

And a teacher endorsement.

- Wait? What are you
- talking about?

Section 15, item "b,"

Of the student manual:

- Students can audition
- a new mascot

If they have 50 signatures

And a teacher sponsor.

Didn't you read it?

- [Willie]: guess you're not
- that useless after all.

Let's go.

[♪♪]

Um...

So, yeah. You guys wanna get rid

Of "big yellow." Right?

Uh... Yeah.

- Yeah, I haven't made it out
- to a lot of games.

I've been really busy.

Kinda swamped here.

Yeah. Um...

- Well, we ha... We have
- a petition here

To audition

For new mascots.

- All we need
- is a teacher sponsor.

Oh. Oh, hmm.

Yeah, I never did understand

What that thing was anyway.

Um...

You got a pen?

Um...

Just so you know, um...

You're supposed to inform

The current mascot

That he's getting sacked.

It's, um, school protocol.

Yeah, who is

The current mascot?

That is a...

That is a good question.

And... I think...

That coach butchko...

Would, uh, know the answer

To that one.

Mm-kay?

And, if you boys

Wouldn't mind,

I'm gonna have my lunch.

[Coach, grunting]:

Who is big yellow?

[Grunting]:

Well... Little ladies...

I hate to admit this,

But I have no idea.

You see...

Coach butchko

Needs his workout time,

So I've delegated mascot duties

To the team manager.

I wish I could help you, guys,

But the last team manager

Appointed the team mascot.

- Great. Where
- can we find him?

He graduated.

- So, can you help us
- track him down?

No can doo-lio.

He disappeared

Shortly after graduation.

"Disappeared?"

- Yeah. It was in the papers
- and everything.

He probably had

- Some credit card debt
- and took off.

[Cackles]

Who knows, right?

Okay, look. I've got

Some cleaning up to do,

If you guys don't mind.

Well, if you want to find

Big yellow,

He's probably in the basement.

- He's got, like, a dressing room
- or something down there.

[Electricity buzzing]

[Footfalls echoing]

Ew! Do you smell that?

[Gasping]: yeah.

I think we're in

The right place.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Sniffs and coughs]

Dude!

Doesn't this guy ever

Wash his costume?

Maybe in vomit.

Ohh...

- Okay, let's just
- write him a note.

We just have to notify him,

Right?

[Bag rustles]

[Paper crinkles]

How 'bout...

"Dear mr. Yellow..."

Should we say "mr. Yellow,"

Or should we say "sir yellow?"

- It could be
- a "ms. Yellow."

- I don't think
- it has to be so formal.

[Sighs]: um...

"To whom

This may concern?"

"Dear yellow...

"Thank you for your tenure

As the mascot.

"Your services

Will no longer be needed.

[Uncertainly]:

"Sincerely...

Anonymous."

[Ripping]

Just slip that under the door.

[Snatching paper]

[Both gasping]

Um... Hello?

Yellow? Hello?

Look, it's nothing personal.

Just business.

[♪♪]

Uh, dude? Can we

Get out of here?

This isn't looking

Too good, willie.

We'll call you.

[Megaphone squeals]

[Would-be mascots

[Grumbling dejectedly]

[Feet clomping]

Calls himself "wolfie."

[Hip-hop music plays]

♪ I'm bad! ♪

♪ Come on, now!

I'm bad! ♪

♪ All right! ♪

♪ I'm bad! ♪

♪ Come on, now

Let me hear you shout ♪

- ♪ I'm bad!
- Come on, now ♪

♪ I'm bad! All right ♪

♪ Bring the beat back

One more time! ♪

[Music ends]

[Chuckles]

Uh-oh...

I think we have one more.

- [Megaphone squeals]:
- uh... Sorry.

We're auditioning

For a new mascot.

Well...

- Says here that,
- technically,

We have to give

Everybody a fair shot.

[Student manual crinkles]

[Willie sighs reluctantly]

[Megaphone squeals]

All right, let us have it...

Freak.

[Light footfalls echoing]

[Radio thumps]

[Click]

- [Big yellow's marching-band
- fight song plays]

[♪♪]

[Willie shuts song off]

[Ominous chord strikes]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Menacing-sounding scraping]

[♪♪]

- [Willie]:
- so, I guess "wolfie" it is.

- [Drake]:
- okay, we'll tell him tomorrow.

[♪♪]

[Wind blowing,

[Footsteps echoing]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Screaming in terror]

[Alarm clock blaring]

[Exhaling groggily]

[Screaming in horror]

[Willie's screams carrying]

- I've been trying
- to contact wolfie all day

- To make this thing
- official,

And he hasn't shown up.

Now you arrive late,

- And now
- you're acting like

- You just chugged
- some cough medicine.

Like, seriously.

Look... I need

To show you something.

Is the coast clear?

What?

Is anybody watching us?

No! Dude, geez.

Chill out.

Take a look.

[Bag crinkles]

[♪♪]

Oh, my g...

What did you do

To wolfie?

- Nothing!
- This was in my bed this morning.

- Dude, we have to tell
- a teacher!

- No way! Are you kidding me? We
- have to handle this on our own.

Are you crazy?

- Look, they could
- pin this on us.

- I mean, I'm the one in
- possession of the wolfie head.

We know who did this.

- I'm not letting that freak
- get the best of me.

- Why are you
- taking this personally?

- I'm not
- taking anything personally!

- It just seems like
- I'm the only one around here

That's doing anything

About our mascot problem.

You are losing it, willie.

Come on, drake.

- Let's figure out
- who's behind that yellow freak,

Turn him in,

And we can get this school

Turned around.

Are you in or are you out?

[Sighs hesitantly]

No. This has gotten

Way out of hand, willie.

I'm out.

- One day, you'll grow
- a backbone, drake.

Yeah, well, maybe one day,

You'll grow a brain.

Whatever.

I'll handle this on my own.

[Knocking loudly]

[♪♪]

[Door creaking]

You can do this, willie.

[♪♪]

Finally. Just what

I've been looking for.

- Let's see
- who's behind big yellow.

[♪♪]

[Footfalls]

[Big yellow's fight song plays]

[♪♪]

[Cell phone starts ringing]

[♪♪]

- [Willie's voice]:
- guess who.

- Come on, willie.
- Not picking up right now...

- But I'll call you back...
- I know you're there.

If you're lucky.

- [Fight song
- continues playing on stereo]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Shuts music off]

[Door bangs]

[♪♪]

[Locked door rattles]

You locked me in here?

Are you kidding me?

[♪♪]

What is that stuff?

[Vent hissing]

[Starts coughing]

[Coughing]

[Board hits floor]

[Coughing intensely]

[Boards clattering]

[♪♪]

[Gasping and coughing]

[Tv playing loudly

[As phone vibrates]

I need back-up! Call me!

[Coughing]

[♪♪]

[Heavy thud nearby]

[Yells]: I'm not afraid of you,

Big yellow!

[Panting]

[Big yellow's fight song

[Plays on radio]

[♪♪]

[Camera shutter clicks]

[♪♪]

[Tv playing]

[Phone buzzes]

[♪♪]

Hey, you trying

To k*ll me down there?

Hey. You there?

[♪♪]

[Fight song continues on radio]

[Clicks radio off]

[Footsteps echoing in silence]

[♪♪]

[Scoffs]: coward.

No wonder

They call you "yellow."

[♪♪]

You won't even

Show your face!

[♪♪]

[Neighborhood dog barking]

[Drake grunts groggily]

[Realizing with alarm]:

Willie!

- [Message playing]:
- it's willie!

- Things just got
- major weird.

- That freak
- just tried to gas me.

I need back-up!

[♪♪]

[Phone line ringing]

- Come on, willie...
- Where are you?

[Ringing]

[♪♪]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Slow down there, speedy.

What happened?

- Oh, had a break-in
- last night.

Someone busted

Big yellow's window.

Any leads?

Yeah. Got a forensics team

On the way.

Really?

[Snickers]: no, dummy!

It's just a stupid mascot.

[Still chuckling]

Well, where is big yellow?

Say, aren't you

One of those kids

- That was asking about
- the yellow fella the other day?

Uh... Yeah...

Look, I gotta run!

Hey, kid!

Where ya going?

- If you have anything
- to do with this,

We're gonna find out!

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Shoe hits floor]

[Phone line ringing]

- Hey, guess who.
- It's willie.

- Not picking up
- right now,

- But I'll call you
- back...

If you're lucky!

[♪♪]

[Gym buzzing,

[Pre-game playing]

[♪♪]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Phone message plays]:

Hey, guess who. It's willie.

- Not picking up
- right now,

- But I'll call you
- back...

If you're lucky!

- Dude, come on.
- You can't be mad at me.

- I've said I'm sorry
- like a hundred times.

- Seriously, I'm gonna call
- the cops on you

If you don't pick up soon,

So stop messing around.

I'm in the gym,

Our usual seats.

So, please, please, please,

Call me.

- [Announcer, monotonously]:
- ladies and germs...

Give it up for big yellow.

[Big yellow's fight song plays]

[♪♪]

[Toots horn]

[♪♪]

Come on, man. Yellow's here.

Where are you?

[Willie's ring-tone playing]

Willie?

- [Polyphonic ring
- overlapping big yellow's song]

Willie! Where are you?

Dude, willie!

Oh. Sorry.

[♪♪]

[Willie's ring-tone plays

[Louder]

[Polyphonic ring gets louder

[As yellow approaches]

[Drake's phone hits floor]

[Willie's phone ringing loudly]

[Beep]

[Willie screaming]

Help! Drake!

Drake!

[Low battery alert beeping]

Drake!

[♪♪]

Get me out of here!

[♪♪]

[Drake cries out]:

Willie!

Willie!

Willie!

- [Cheerleaders]:
- go, yellow, go!