02x04 - The Sludge Monster/U.S. Acres: Fortune Kooky/Heatwave Holiday

[bunniefuu]

[ Birds

[ Birds chirp

[ Slurps ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Yells ]

- I assume there's

A reason for this.

- I'd like to get your

Assessment of the chances

Of blueberry pancakes

For breakfast.

[ Sighs ]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- Friends are there

- To help you get started,

To give you a push on your way

- Friends are there

- To turn you around,

Get your feet on the ground

For a brand new day

- They'll pick you up

When you're down

- Help you swallow your pride

When something inside says

To break on through

To the other side.

- Friends are someone

You can open up to

- When you feel like

You're ready to flip

- When you've got the world

On your shoulders

- Friends are there

To give you a tip

- Friends are there when you

Need them, they're even

There when you don't

- For a walk in the park

Or a shot in the dark,

Friends are there

- I don't care

- But friends will care for you

- And just remember

What you paid to get in.

[ Thunder ]

- Don't worry, guys,

My sense of direction

Is as sharp as ever.

- We're hopelessly lost.

- I know exactly where we are.

- He doesn't even know

What country we're in.

- Let me have that map again,

Garfield.

- The lake is this way,

Like I thought.

It's right there.

- That's not a lake.

That's blueberry jelly

From my sandwich.

- Well, we're lost.

Things can't possibly

Get any worse.

[ Bang ]

[ Whimpers ]

- You should never say things

Can't possibly get any worse.

Things will always find a way.

- I had a spare tire in here

But someone took it out.

- Well, I had to have room

For the hibachi, didn't i?

- Garfield.

[ Sighs ]

That gas station we passed

A mile back won't be open

Until morning.

We'll have to spend

The night here.

[ Thunder ]

- Nice touch.

[ Thunder ]

[ Pants ]

- They better have colour t.v.

In every room and hot

And cold running room service.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Rings bell ]

- Hello?

Anyone here?

- You rang?

[ Whimpers ]

- Uh, we'd like a room

For the night.

- You mean stay here all night?

Did you hear that, maurice?

We have guests!

[ Laughs ]

- And they expect

To stay all night.

Why yes, maurice,

I'll tell them!

[ Laughs ]

We have some lovely suites

And every room has

A southern exposure.

- Every room has

A southern exposure?

How is that possible?

- There's no backwall

On the hotel.

[ Laughs ]

Maurice loves that joke,

Don't you, maurice?

Oh, yes, you do.

I'll show you to your room.

Walk this way.

- Don't worry, we're not

Doin' that old gag.

- Maurice thinks this

Would be a good room for you.

- Maurice?

Uh, say, I didn't notice

Any other guests.

- Other guests?

[ Laughs ]

- Oh, that's a good one,

Isn't it, maurice?

[ Laughs ]

Maurice and I both hope you

Have a nice, deep, long sleep.

[ Laughs ]

- Guys, we're here

For the night.

We might as well make

The best of it.

[ Thunder ]

- What's this?

Legend of the sludge monster.

- Sludge monster?

- Some kind of local folk tale.

[ Barks ]

- Sure, haven't you ever heard

The story of the sludge monster?

Maestro?

[ Thunder ]

- He lurks in dark,

Mysterious places

Making ugly faces,

The sludge monster

Under the bed,

Or just behind the curtains

He'll be there for certain,

The sludge monster

If you find

Your food dish empty

Your stuff thrown all around

Your favourite toys

All broken up

In pieces on the ground

Keep your karate chop at hand

Kiss those pleasant

Dreams goodbye

'Cause the gross-out

Factor on this guy is high

Keep a lookout

Every day and night

He's not a pretty sight

He's the sludge monster

The sludge monster

The sludge monster.

- Yikes!

- Oh, come on, boys,

Let's turn in.

Everything will be fine

In the morning.

- Yeah, if we make it

Till morning.

[ Snoring ]

- Odie, are you asleep?

I've been thinking.

This story about

A sludge monster's nonsense.

There's no such thing.

There's--

[ Banging ]

- There's only one thing to do,

We gotta get that sludge monster

Before he gets us.

[ Barks ]

- Now, this is a way out

But what if

The sludge monster's

Out there waiting and sludging?

Odie?

- Uh-uh.

- I just want you to go out

And see if

The sludge monster's there.

It's safe.

I'd be willing to bet

Your life on it.

[ Groaning ]

[ Barks ]

- Oh, no!

The sludge monster has odie!

He's a goner!

[ Whimpers ]

- Alas, poor odie.

He was an okay pup.

A little moist around

The tongue maybe but okay.

What an awful way

To go, sludged.

Wait a minute, I may be next!

I have to get outta here.

[ Barking ]

- Oh, no, the sludge monster!

- What? Where?

What's going on?

Garfield!

What's gotten into you?

[ Whimpers ]

- Sludge monster, it found me!

Yikes!

[ Blubbers ]

- The sludge monster's

Got me cornered!

This is it!

I'm gonna get sludged

Just like odie!

[ Slurps ]

- Oh, no!

I've been slurped by sludge!

I've been--hey, I know

That slurp!

[ Pants ]

- Odie!

[ Barks ]

- What is all this?

No wait, don't tell me.

I don't care.

All I know is I am up

And we're not getting

Back to sleep.

We might as well start walking

To that service station.

I'll pack.

- What a sneaky trick,

Posing as sludge.

I'll never trust you again.

- You didn't enjoy

Your stay here?

Maurice and I try so hard

To make our guests comfortable.

- Oh, the room was fine.

It was my craven cat and dog

That ruined things.

I can't take you two anywhere.

Why can't you ever

Behave yourselves?

- Oh, our first guests

This year, maurice.

I hope they didn't believe that

Nonsense about a sludge monster.

Why can't we keep guests here?

- Hey, maybe we oughta

Get cable t.v.?

- It's a thought.

- I got an idea,

Let's all get dressed up

And have a parade.

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- What great idea.

Comb my comb.

- Yeah, great idea.

Have fun.

- Where's sheldon?

- I think he felt left out.

- Yeah, man.

Not much you can do to dress up

When you're an egg, man.

- Eat your hearts out,

You guys.

[ Hums ]

- You probably think

I'm going to snitch

Wade's picnic basket.

Not so.

I would never stoop so low as

To take someone's picnic basket.

Now the food in the basket,

That's another

Matter altogether.

[ Laughs ]

- Hi, bo, wanna join wade

And me for a picnic?

- Thanks but no thanks, pig.

The sheep's on cleanup duty.

Stand back.

This is one powerful

Vacuum cleaner.

That's a major oopsie there.

Like, I had the thing

In reverse, man.

[ Coughs ]

- Yeah, i, kind of,

Figured that out.

- Are you ready to go

On our picnic, orson?

I even got some

Chinese fortune cookies.

Orson, you're a mess.

- No kidding.

[ Coughs ]

Let me take a shower and

Then we'll go eat.

- Cleanest pig in the world.

- I'll just be a minute.

- I'll just eat one

Little cookie while I'm waiting.

[ Hums ]

[ Gulps ]

- Bad luck will befall you

If you venture outdoors.

Oh, no!

- Wade!

- I have got to get indoors.

This is the only indoors around.

- Come out of there!

- No, I can't be outside.

My fortune said it was bad luck.

Oh, no! I'm outside!

I must be inside!

- Gee, I'm glad

I took that shower.

- Tell me what's wrong.

- My fortune cookie said

I shouldn't go outside today.

Something terrible will happen.

- That's silly, wade.

- Idea.

- A cookie can't

Tell your fortune.

- How about a donut?

- No.

- Cruller?

- No.

- Bagel?

- No.

- Croissant?

- No.

[ Sobbing ]

- If you walk under a ladder

A black cat crosses your path

Or a broken mirror

Gives seven years bad luck

Don't let it get to you

Don't fear the aftermath

Don't let superstitions

Let you pass the buck

It's not superstition

Or just plain luck

That makes things

Turn out the way they do

Don't be suspicious

It's all fictitious

Don't let superstition

Get the best of you

- Watch out, orson,

A black cat is coming!

- A black cat crossing

Your path does

Not guarantee bad luck.

- It does when it's

When it's--

[ Growls ]

- Help, we have a serious

Puma surplus.

We have one puma.

- You can make

Your own decisions

Control your own fate

Put matters in your hands

Don't trust to luck.

- Is the puma gone?

- Don't believe in superstition

It's gone, stand up

And celebrate

Be a happy man, uh,

I mean, happy duck

You see it's not superstition

Or just plain luck

That makes things

Turn out the way they do

So don't be suspicious

It's all fictitious

Don't let superstition

Get the best of you

Don't let it get

The best of you

- That's good advice and,

Kind of a catchy song, too.

Now how can a cookie

Predict the future?

- Ah! Web-footed one.

I am swami bagwana,

Mystic seer of the future.

Would you like to hear

Your fortune?

- Yes, oh, please, swami, sir.

- Then let me a read

A fortune cookie.

[ Smacks ]

- You will be caught

In a rainstorm

And then pummeled and

Harmed by a wild ape who wants

To tap dance in potato salad.

- That is the most ridiculous

Fortune I've ever heard, swami.

[ Laughs ]

- It's a beautiful sunny day.

It's raining!

- Oh, can I dance

In your potato salad?

- Take it!

I'm too young to be pummeled

And harmed.

- Oh, please, orson, hide me.

There's an ape out there and

He wants to dance in

My potato salad

Just like my fortune

Cookie said!

- I smell a rat.

No, a rooster.

[ Laughs ]

- Oh, that wade.

What a maroon,

Believing fortune cookies.

Which reminds me.

You will lose all your feathers

During a total eclipse

On arbor day while listening

To the marine corp band

Playing home on the range

And watching a badminton match

Between two guys named ichabod.

Ha!

What a ridiculous fortune!

- Roy, I wanna talk to you.

- Why is it getting dark?

- Hey, must be an eclipse.

- Total eclipse?

It's arbor day!

- Hey, roy, listen to

This neat tape I found.

It's the marine corp band.

- The marine corp band

Playing home on the range!

- Hey, roy, wanna watch

My friends play badminton?

This is ichabod

And this is ichabod.

- Two guys named ichabod

Playing badminton.

[ Yells ]

- You will lose

All your feathers.

I have gotta find a place

To hide.

I am not gonna lose my feathers.

- Hey, rooster,

What's your problem, man?

- No, no!

- Roy, what's wrong?

Roy, where are your feathers?

- Well, at least they're clean.

- Orson, roy ate

Our entire picnic.

He left one fortune cookie.

- You will spend today gluing

Feathers on a friend.

Maybe there is something

To all this after all.

- It's hot.

It's hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Hottest july ever.

[ Slurps ]

- In hot weather you do as

Little activity as possible.

Everyone knows that.

[ Barks ]

- Let me amend

My prior statement.

Everyone with half

A brain knows that.

Resume.

[ Barks ]

- Swimming is a good way

To cool off,

However, you have to hurry.

If you don't there's a chance

The water might...

Evaporate.

I have to think cool.

That's it!

Must think cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Not working.

How can I think cool

When it looks hot?

Idea.

Here we set the automatic

Icemaker to blizzard.

- It's so hot.

I need a cold drink.

Garfield!

Garfield what happened

To the re--

[ Hums ]

[ Barks ]

- July, it's july.

Garfield!

Garfield you can't just make it

Winter in the middle

Of sum--

Some of this is not a bad idea.

You're trying to think cool.

- You catch on fast.

- This is great.

What else can we do to

Make it wintery around here?

[ Blows ]

- This way.

- That box?

But that's where I store

The christmas decorations.

- Come on, let's deck the halls

And fa-la-la-la-la,

You know, la-la-la.

- Well, why not?

[ Pants ]

- This was a great idea,

Garfield.

I don't feel half as warm now.

[ Barks ]

- Um, muriel, dear, do you know

Arbuckle across the street?

- The one with the cat

That eats everything?

- Yes, that's the one, dear.

He just put his

Christmas decorations up.

- Always trying to be

The first one

In the neighborhood.

You go put ours up!

- But dear, it's july.

- Oh, that's the problem

With you, edgar.

Always waiting till

The last minute!

- Yes, dear.

[ Barking ]

- Hey, harry, yeah, it's me.

Listen, harry, when do we put

The christmas decorations up?

Yeah, that's what I thought

But all the houses

Out here have them up.

Yeah, maybe we better get

Started and make sure, you know?

- I have to go to the market

And restock the refrigerator.

- I'd better come along,

Help you clear a few aisles.

- Guys, it is july, isn't it?

- Not according

To popular opinion.

But hey, if they all say

It's christmas,

Maybe it's christmas.

[ Barks ]

- Aw, garfield,

You shouldn't have.

Uh... Great, thank you.

- Yeah, I figure every home

Oughta have one.

Oh, candy, great!

Thanks!

- Okay, guys, now we're going

To go door-to-door

Singing carols.

Then we'll--

- We interrupt out program

Of christmas music

To bring you this bulletin.

It is not christmas.

This conclusion was reached

By the mayor's office

After an extensive

Investigation revealed

That it is, in fact, july.

The city council meanwhile

Voted that it was august.

Repeating, it is not christmas.

- Well, a little christmas

Was nice while it lasted.

- Yeah, I always figured

One christmas a year

Isn't enough.

[ Yawns ]

- Well, guys, let's turn in.

[ Snoring ]

[ Jingle bells ]

- Huh?

What was that?

Somebody in here?

Oh, it's you.

No, it's not christmas.

Sorry.

You think of all people

He would know better.

- h*, h*, h*, h*!

- Here's some change, garfield.

Go get us some soda pop.

- I wonder what would happen if

I put all the money in at once?

[ Music ]