02x23 - Mystic Manor/U.S. Acres: Flop Goes the Weasel/The Legend of Long Jon

[bunniefuu]

Yep,

Yep, time

Yep, time for

Yep, time for my


Now nothing is gonna stop me

From those cookies.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

[ Music ]

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to help you get started, ♪

媻 to give you a
push on your way ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to turn you around, ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- 媻 help you swallow
your pride ♪

™ª when something inside says ♪

™ª to break on through ♪

媻 to the other side. 媻

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulders ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them, ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark, ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- 媻 but friends
will care for you ♪

- We've got to stop

That chicken from writing

On my logo every week.

- Well, guys,

How would you like to experience

Something real scary?

- Jon's gonna sing.

- Something so spooky

You'll never get over it.

- He's gonna sing and dance.

- We're going to stop

At mystic manor.

It's a real haunted house

For tourists to go through.

[ Laugh ]

- Oh, no! Mystic manor

Has been closed for years.

No one is allowed in here.

- But I heard tourists

Used to go in.

- They did go in.

They just didn't come out.

[ Laugh ]

- Cheery fella, isn't he?

- Come on, guys,

Let's go check into the motel

And get on with this vacation.

- That's right.

We're on vacation.

I think I'll just sleep

And eat all day.

It'll be a nice change.

[ Screeching ]

[ Odie barking ]

- When you're late,

It delays dinner.

- Garfield, there's no sun out.

- Just as well,

You can't tan fur.

- I'm gonna catch a nap

Before dinner.

Garfield, you're in charge

Of keeping an eye on odie.

[ Snoring ]

Garfield?

- I didn't eat it.

Whatever's missing,

Somebody else took it.

Oh.

- I mean it! If you let odie

Get into trouble, no dinner!

- Look at him there,

Without a care,

Without a brain.

[ Bat screeches ]

- Huh?

[ Odie growling ]

- Pass the gravy.

More potatoes.

What? No cranberries?

[ Odie barking ]

[ Growling ]

- Sweet potato pie?

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Oh, yes, you should have.

[ Odie barking ]

- Odie! Don't go in there!

Oh, well, not my problem.

- If you let odie

Get into trouble, no dinner!

- Odie, you minus-minded mutt!

Come back here!

Odie, you...

Boy, this place could use

A gardener or tarzan.

Do not pull rope.

There's your lesson

For today, kids.

When it says don't pull

The rope, don't pull the rope.

I just want to find odie

And get outta here.

Odie? Odie?

[ Echoing ]

Where are you?

[ Echoing ]

Garfield the cat is the greatest

Creature in the world?

No chance. No way.

No how. No nothing.

Boy, I hate an echo that adlibs.

[ Gasp ]

Wow, that's more like it.

This is some sort

Of trick mirror.

Look, it looks like a monster

Standing behind me.

You knew that was gonna happen,

Didn't you?

- Do you mind?

- Hey, everybody! Surf's up!

- You won't get me now,

Bandage face!

These things take forever!

[ Bell rings ]

Hi, odie.

Odie!

- Aaah!

Again?

[ Barking ]

Not now, odie!

We have to get
out of this place!

Do you know how to play

Instant door?

- Uh-uh.

- I'll show you.

- Oh, what a great nap!

Guys, let's go get some...

What has gotten you two

So frightened?

Oh, you went over

To mystic manor.

There's nothing to be afraid of

Over there.

Come on, I'll show you.

Mystic manor is

A tourist attraction.

It's just an old house,

An old, you know... An old...

Excuse me?

Where did mystic manor go?

- Mystic what?

- Mystic manor,

The old haunted house?

It was right here?

- Oh, that place.

We tore it down

A couple of years ago.

We've been working for months

On this skyscraper.

[ Laugh ]

- That's the ninth one

This week and it's only tuesday!

[ Laugh ]

- Come on, you worm!

I caught you!

Let go! Let go!

You wouldn't let go, would you?

- What do I look like,

A idiot?

Don't answer that.

- Another worm trap, booker?

- Yeah! And the best one yet!

Wait'll the worm

Grabs that cheeseburger!

[ Laugh ]

- Booker, that's the stupidest

Trap you've ever come up with.

- Roy's right, booker.

It'll never work.

No worm will ever...

[ Bell ringing ]

- Aha! I caught one!

- Who's dumb enough

To get caught in a trap

Like this?

[ Odie barking ]

- Sorry, odie,

But you're in the wrong cartoon.

- Oh!

- Guys, someone's on the farm

Who shouldn't be here!

- We saw him,

A cameo guest star.

- No. I just saw that weasel

Sneaking around!

- The weasel?

We've got to keep him away

From the chicken coop!

- And the chickens!

- Especially the chickens!

- Go warn everyone!

- Oh, worry.

Oh, many things to dread,

Many things to fear.

[ Sighs ]

So far, I have come up with


Of which to be afraid.

- Wade!

The weasel's around the yard!

Look for him!

- 7,378.

The weasel!

Help!

Weasel concern! Help!

- Well, I think I'll go

Get me some chicken to go.

[ Laugh ]

- Help!

Panic stricken duck

On its way to rampage!

Assistance? Mayday?

- There's the weasel!

- And you caught him, wade!

- Wade, you did it!

You're a hero!

- I did it? I'm a hero?

- One side!

Weasel express coming through!

I'll dump him in
the next zip code.

- Wade, I underestimated you!

- That's impossible.

- I guess we all did.

We always thought you were

A cowardly duck.

- You know me well.

- Yeah, but you see,

It turns out you're a hero,

A brave, courageous hero.

- Me? Yeah, I am!

I'm a hero. A hero am i!

I am wade, hero!

- ™ª oh, yes, I am a hero, ♪

媻 a fearless feathered duck. 媻

™ª come my way for mischief ♪

媻 and, boy, you're
out of luck! 媻

™ª if it's you I catch, ♪

™ª you've met your match ♪

媻 from a duck that
knows no fear! 媻

™ª I'm a brave intrepid hero, ♪

媻 at least that's what I hear. 媻

™ª oh, yes, I am a hero, ♪

媻 a courageous capitan. 媻

媻 I save my friends
from trouble ♪

媻 as only heroes can. 媻

媻 step aside! 媻

媻 excuse me, please. 媻

媻 a hero's coming through. 媻

媻 yes, I said a hero. 媻

媻 I'm here to rescue you! 媻

™ª oh, yes, I am a hero ♪

媻 and I don't mess around! 媻

媻 I'm dauntless. 媻

™ª there's no problem ♪

媻 wrestling weasels
to the ground! 媻

媻 here he is! 媻

媻 yes, wade is here. 媻

媻 he's here to save the day! 媻

媻 yes, I said a hero. 媻

媻 I'll jump into the fray. 媻

媻 once more I'll be a hero. 媻

媻 I mean, if that's okay. 媻

Make way for a hero!

[ Laugh ]

We take large steps.

- Why do I have the feeling

This will be worse

Than when he was a coward?

- And so, upon sighting

The weasel,

I put my own personal danger

To one side and hurled myself

At the evil

And villainous weasel.

Yes, yes, I know.

It was selflessly brave of me,

But, well, that's just

The kind of guy I am.

- You? Brave?

You used to put on a parachute

To stand on tiptoe.

- Oh, you are just jealous

Of my courage.

- Your courage? Ha!

I laugh in your face!

Ha! Aha! This is me

Laughing in your face!

- You cannot laugh

In the face of someone

Truly heroic as I am!

Now where was i?

Oh, yes, yes.

I was discussing my heroism.

Well, when I saw the weasel,

I thought only of...

So then I grabbed the weasel.

He pulled a g*n on me.

No, no! A tank!

He had a tank with him!

But i, being as brave as I am,

Was not worried.

I disarmed him,

Then he called in

His air support,

Dive bombers strafed the farm!

But was I afraid?

No sirree bo!

I am a hero

And a hero fears zero!

- I don't get it.

- Orson's acting like

He doesn't think wade's a hero.

- The weasel!

- Let's go tell our hero!

- Why, if I could get my hands

On that weasel again, I'd...

- Wade! The weasel's back!

- Wade?

- W...the wea...

The weasel?

The weasel is back?

- Yes, and you're gonna

Get rid of him!

- Just like you did last time!

- Yeah, but, but...

- Man, I wish I had a line

In this episode.

- But, but...

- You're our hero, wade!

You told us!

- No, I'm not a hero!

I'm a coward!

I didn't catch the
weasel last time!

And I'm not gonna

Catch him this time!

The only thing I'm gonna catch

Is a shuttle bus

For the airport!

A place to hide, please?

Place... Place to hide, please?

Place to hide, oh, please!

Give me a place to hide! Oh!

- Orson, I think the weasel

Is back!

- So, I've been found!

- No one will find me in here.

Oh, are you hiding

From the weasel too?

[ Both yelling at once ]

- Wade, you caught

The weasel again!

- Yeah, you're a hero!

- Again!

- Yes, I am a hero.

Yes, I am.

[ Sighing ]

No, I am not a hero.

I am a cowardly water fowl

Who's even afraid of water.

- Hey, what happened?

You again?

You keep away from me!

Stay away from me, duck!

Out of my way! Help!

- I knew he wasn't a hero.

- Wade's a hero.

He's just a different kind

Of hero.

- What kind is that?

- The craven, cowardly type.

- Well, it's something.

- Yuck!

This coffee's too weak.

- What's going on here?

- Yuck!

- Mmm, much better.

- This is a famous place

In american history, boys.

[ Odie barking ]

Over there is yorktown.

That's where the last battle

Of the revolutionary w*r

Was fought.

The w*r was won by

General george washington

Who later became

Our first president.

Did you know that some people

Thought george washington

Had wooden teeth?

- Wooden teeth?

Gee, did he have to lacquer

After every meal?

- It was sure exciting

To discover that I have

A family history dating back

To the revolution.

Look, a welcoming committee!

I wrote to tell them

I was coming,

But I didn't expect this.

[ Clamoring ]

[ Odie whimpers ]

- If that's

A welcoming committee,

I'm peewee herman.

Move it, arbuckle!

- But I don't understand!

- Psst! Over here!

I'm mr. Merry, president

Of the historical society

And village librarian.

- I'm jon arbuckle.

Why were those people

Chasing me?

[ Laugh ]

- You don't know?

Come with me.

- That's... That's me?

It's not me, but it's me.

- That's your ancestor,

The evil pirate,

Long jon arbuckle,

A traitor to this country.

- So that's why the villagers

Want to run me out of town.

- Boy, 200 years

Is a long time to hold a grudge.

- These are actual items

From his ship, his sword,

His hat, his cat's dish even.

Come this way.

- My ancestor, a traitor?

- He stole some important maps

That belonged

To general washington.

It's all here

In long jon's diary.

- Uh-uh, odie.

It's not nice for you

To read someone else's diary.

- Aw.

- So I'll read it to you.

"October 7, 1781.

We sighted the american

Warship endeavor at the mouth

Of the potomac river and,

Seeing no other ships

In the area for plunder

As the battle at yorktown

Was imminent,

My hardy crew and I

Decided to capture her.

- All hands ahoy,

Into the yards and secure

The capsules, men.

We'll soon have this fat prize.

- Shiver me timbers,

And aye-aye, captain.

- Bravely I boarded

The endeavor.

My faithful cat

Was ever at my side.

We were soon masters of her.

As usual, my crew confiscated

The ship's stores,

Including a supply

Of fresh clams.

I relieved the officers and men

Of their personal belongings,

Including a packet of maps

Penned by general

George washington himself

During his days as a surveyor.

These maps I knew to be vital

To the american cause,

But I took them."

Wow, jon's ancestor stole

George washington's maps!

- Your dog! He's drooling

On the priceless diary!

- Odie, look what you've done!

You've ruined the diary!

Mr. Merry, look!

On this blank page!

Writing is appearing.

- The blank pages

Contain writing in invisible ink

And his... His... His slobbering

Is bringing it out!

[ Odie slurping ]

- Who would have believed it?

A practical use for odie kisses.

- "General washington

Has us to secrecy about the maps

I seized on the endeavor,

So I'm writing this

In secret ink.

We boarded the american warship

And soon confirmed

The general's suspicions.

The endeavor had in truth

Been captured by the british.

The maps were, as I knew, phony.

The capture of these enemy

Soldiers was kept secret

Such that I could continue

To spy for the general.

General washington did, however,

Give me a letter of commendation

So that I could prove

My loyalty.

This letter I entrusted

To my loyal cat to hide

And keep for me."

He wasn't a traitor.

He was a spy

For george washington!

[ Crowd clamoring ]

Wait! Long jon wasn't a traitor!

Help! Listen to me, please!

- They'll never believe him

Unless we can find that letter.

Come on.

If that cat was anything

Like my ancestors,

I'll bet I know

Where he hid the letter.

A cat's most valuable possession

Is his dinner dish.

Hmm.

- Please! Please!

We have discovered

That long jon arbuckle

Was actually a spy

For george washington.

- You expect us

To believe that?

- In there, kitty?

If there was a letter here,

We would have found it long ago.

But, of course!

Ship's dishes are weighted

To keep them from sliding

On the deck!

This one has a false bottom!

- Is it the letter

From washington?

- It is indeed.

From now on, long jon arbuckle

Will have a new place

In history.

- How do you like that?

I saved the day

And some dead guy's a hero.

- Everyone in town

Is sorry about what happened,

Mr. Arbuckle.

Enjoy these clams

With our compliments.

- We're going to open

A whole museum

To our town hero,

Long jon arbuckle.

- Well, boys,

I guess we can go home

Knowing we changed history.

[ Odie barking ]

- I don't know about history,

But some things never change.