03x02 - Astro Cat/U.S. Acres: c*ck Duel/Cinderella Cat

[bunniefuu]

- Ladies

- Ladies and

- Ladies and gentlemen,

-Garfield and friends.,

- We're...

- We're...

- Ready...

- Ready...

- To...

- To...

- Party!

- ™ª we're ready to party, ♪

媻 we're ready! 媻

- ™ª I hope you bring ♪

媻 lots of spaghetti! 媻

- ™ª come on in, come to ♪

媻 the place where
fun never ends! 媻

媻 come on in, it's
time to party ♪

媻 with garfield and friends! 媻

- 媻 dancing! 媻

- 媻 fiesta! 媻

- 媻 romancing! 媻

- 媻 siesta! 媻

- 媻 samba! 媻

- 媻 la bamba! 媻

- 媻 ay carumba! 媻

- 媻 disguises! 媻

- 媻 disguises! 媻

- 媻 surprises! 媻

- 媻 surprises! 媻

- 媻 and pies of... 媻

- 媻 and pies of all sizes! 媻

- 媻 come on in,
come to the place ♪

媻 where fun never ends. 媻

媻 come on in, it's
time to party ♪

媻 with garfield and friends! 媻

媻 come on in, it's
time to party ♪

媻 with garfield and friends! 媻

媻 garfield and friends! 媻

- And a special hello to

All you wonderful

Nielsen families out there.

[ Winding clock ]

[ Humming ]

- Perfect.

- And now it's time for more

Of our game show,

Hit the buzzer,

Win a cookie!

All right,

Mrs. Helene francett

Of east orange, new jersey

It's time to

Hit the buzzer and win a cookie!

On your mark, get set, go!

[ Buzzer ]

- You win a cookie!

[ Buzzer ]

- You win another cookie!

[ Buzzer ]

- You win another cookie!

- This is on

The educational channel.

- Hmm?

- We interrupt hit the buzzer,

Win a cookie to bring you

Coverage of

The latest space mission.

- Hey, where are

You priorities, fella?

- The astronauts

Of spacecraft andromeda seven

Are only minutes away

From landing on the moon.

Let's listen in on them.

- We are making

Our descent, buzz.

- Thank you, buzz.

All systems are go, right, buzz?

- Roger, buzz, and I agree

With buzz over there.

- There's some sort of law

About astronauts having

To be named buzz.

- Today these heroes

Join the ranks of such

Great space explorers

As henry "buzz" fenork,

Freddy "buzz" lunchbox.

- See?

- And perhaps the most heroic

Of them all, buchanan the cat.

- Huh? Huh?

- Didn't you know?

My great uncle buchanan

Was the first cat in space.

It happened back in 1958,

Back when no man

Had ventured into outer space.

It was a dangerous job, true,

But being my ancestor,

I think you can guess

The kind of heroic

And brave reaction he had.

- Help! Let me outta here!

- After him!

Catch that p*ssy cat!

- Let me out!

I don't wanna go to the moon!

I don't even like going

To the laundromat!

Please, guys,

Would you wanna be shot

Into space in a rocket

Built by the lowest bidder?

- First I will examine

The p*ssy cat.

- Why don't you go to the...

Ha!

Hey, somebody ate

The ice cream off that stick.

- Now we shall test

Your reaction to the change

In gravity.

- I can't go in this!

I don't have an e-ticket!

- And now we will test

The p*ssy cat

Under heavy stress.

[ Shouts ]

- And now we put the simulator

Up to full power.

[ Siren ]

- 380 Miles per hour

In a 35-mile zone.

Now don't give me that old cat

In a flight simulator excuse.

I've heard that one


- Hey, guys, I suppose

I couldn't interest you in going

For chinese food instead?

- Finally came the day

When my great uncle

Was to be launched

To the moon.

- I will go

And get our volunteer.

Time to go to the moon,

Kitty cat.

- No!

I don't wanna go to the moon!

How about cleveland instead?

It's just as weird

And it'll save on gas.

I don't wanna go to the moon!

No!

- Now, now, you will be

The first creature

To land on the moon.

- No!

You will be the first creature

To land on the moon!

- Help! Let me out!

I am a scientist!

I do not take risks!

- Five, four...

- Aw, I can't do it,

Not even to him.

- I am sorry, p*ssy cat.

- Well, you oughta be.

Hey, what happens when I push

This button marked lunch?

- p*ssy cat, you have

Pushed the launch button!

- Launch? Not lunch?

I knew I should have

Learned how to spell.

- 10, 9, 8,





Ignition.

We have liftoff.

- So the rocket took off

For the moon.

The scientists attempted

To track it,

But didn't have much luck.

- Any communication

From the rocket?

- Just this

One transmission, sir.

- Is it flight data?

Atmospheric conditions?

Gravity coordinates?

- It seems to be an order

For a pepperoni pizza.

- That was the last anyone

Ever heard of

My great uncle buchanan,

But he was the first creature

Ever in outer space.

- Mm-hmm.

- Odie, you do believe

My story, don't you?

- Uh-uh.

- Well, it's true.

It's...

- The andromeda seven has

Landed on the moon's surface.

Let's switch

To the lunar camera.

- Watch your step, buzz.

- Thank you, buzz.

- Buzz, why don't you and buzz

Plant the flag over there?

- Good idea, buzz.

Buzz, buzz and

I hereby proclaim...hey!

- It's about time!

Now where's that pizza

I ordered?

[ Muttering ]

- Don't worry,

I ordered pepperoni.

- I told you, odie.

You should never doubt me.

- Hmm.

- Imagination is

A wonderful thing, wade.

I can imagine that we're deep

In the jungle

Or at the south pole.

- Imagine us back

Someplace warm, orson.

- Easy as pie.

See? I'm imagining

We're on a farm

With a wild horse

Charging at us.

- Horse got loose.

- Could you imagine us

Into a hospital, please?

- Roy, you don't have

To move away.

- I am unwanted,

Unloved, unneeded.

- But, roy,

We do need you, sort of.

- Orson, wherefore

Is roy going?

- Somewhere else.

He's moving away.

- Oh, that's awful!

That's terrible!

Can I have his room?

- Oh, hi.

You're probably wondering

What's going on here.

Well, it's not a pretty story.

- To whom are you talking to?

- To all those people out

There watching us.

- People? Watching us?

- Okay. Let me explain.

Roy's been our rooster here

For years.

He wakes us up in the morning.

[ Snoring ]

[ Alarm sounding ]

- That was one of his jobs.

His other job was to protect

The chickens from menaces

Like the weasel.

All the chickens loved him.

- ™ª no one can resist ♪

™ª this hunk of a hero, ♪

™ª the king of the barnyard, ♪

™ª the c*ck of the walk ♪

™ª if there's any problem, ♪

™ª I'll handle the problem ♪

™ª that's why I'm the king ♪

™ª and the topic of talk ♪

™ª feel my charisma, ♪

™ª check out my style ♪

™ª that oughta keep you ♪

™ª in awe for a while ♪

™ª you might think I'm c*ck, ♪

™ª but that's okay ♪

媻 I mean, I'm
bound to be c*ck ♪

™ª when the ladies all say ♪

™ª they say, ooh, we love ♪

™ª the things that he does ♪

™ª and everything he's got ♪

™ª he's the greatest thing ♪

™ª that there ever was ♪

™ª that's why I'm the king ♪

™ª and you're not ♪

- And then one day last week,

Someone new wandered

Onto our farm.

- Pardon me.

Do you have need of a rooster?

- I didn't, but the chickens

Had another opinion.

His name was plato and all

The ladies went wild for him.

Well, you can imagine how

Thrilled roy was with all this.

- Ahem, there is room on this

Farm for one rooster, one, uno,

Singular, less than two.

- Ahem, ahem.

The ladies have

Made their choice.

- Roy was determined

To win their fancy back.

Plato read poetry to them.

- She walks in beauty like

The night of cloudless climes

And starry skies

And all that's best

Of dark and bright meet

In her aspect and her eyes.

- So roy decided to try poetry.

- Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

If I had your face,

I'd be in a zoo.

Hey, it rhymed.

- Plato kept on charming

All the ladies.

- A flower, not half

As beautiful as its recipient.

- And roy kept on trying.

- Hey, anyone

Can bring flowers.

Trees are a challenge!

- And trying.

- Well, I'm pretty

Musical myself.

- It was pretty awful.

The chickens all

Laid square eggs for a week.

Finally, I guess, roy decided

He wasn't wanted.

- ™ª nobody needs me ♪

™ª I'm no longer the best ♪

™ª and now it's time to put ♪

™ª this rooster to rest ♪

™ª I've been dethroned, ♪

™ª no more king of the barnyard ♪

™ª it was good to be up ♪

™ª it's so bad to be down ♪

™ª now it's all over ♪

™ª and no one will miss me ♪

™ª 'cause everyone wants ♪

™ª the new king in town ♪

- So that's why

He's moving away.

- Do you mean plato

Is now our resident rooster?

- I guess so.

He's even doing

The wakeup calls.

- c*ck-a-doodle-do.

- Nice reading.

- I guess he'll do as

A rooster, but I'm really

Gonna miss roy.

- I'm not.

[ Squawking ]

- I hear cackles of alarm.

- The weasel!

And he's got the chickens!

Come on!

- There is danger that way,

So I go this way. Bye.

- Plato, hurry!

The weasel is stealing chickens!

- The weasel?

One moment, please.

[ Banging ]

- There, that ought to do it.

- Come out and protect

The chickens, you chicken!

[ Squawking ]

- Oh, no, he's getting away

With them!

- Oh, it was a nice

Job while it lasted.

- I must get far,

Far from that sleazoid weasel!

[ Crash ]

- Adding injury

To insult, duck?

- The big bad weasel

Has got the chickens!

- We've got to do something!

- That new rooster

Is a pushover!

- Ahem, chicken inspector.

- Chicken inspector?

- Yeah.

I have to inspect

All the chickens

And collect the chicken tax.

Don't worry, ladies.

It's old roy.

Well, lots of chickens

To pay taxes on.

- Taxes?

- Let's see.

There's the feather tax

And the drumstick tax

And the beak tax.

You only owe $1,781.14.

- Hey, chickens is expensive!

I'm not paying that!

- Aw, let me compute

The penalties for nonpayment

Of egg tax!

- No, I can't afford this!

Keep the chickens!

They're all yours!

- Everybody out!

Roy to the rescue.

- Come on!

- But I don't want to face

The weasel!

All right, ladies,

Your rooster romeo is here.

- Hit the road, jack.

- Well, I guess

I'm not needed here.

- Oh, no! Please don't!

I need you.

- Ah, you need

My suave classy style?

- No. I just enjoy having

Someone around more cowardly

Than i, you know.

- Rats!

I just can't get comfortable.

If I can't get comfortable,

I'll never get to sleep.

Wait a minute.

Maybe if I raise my right arm

And leg and lay my head back

And get my tail

Outta the way...

[ Snores ]

- I don't even want to know.

- You're not getting

My lasagna today, cat!

- Well, if you're gonna

Be inhospitable,

Who needs it?

I'm going for a walk

In the park.

- Okay, kids, here it is.

Free ice cream courtesy of

Your parks department.

I'm sorry, only one

To a person, only one.

Anyone else?

All right, young man,

Here you go.

And here's one for you

And one for you, little lady,

And one for you

And one for you

And one for you and

One for you and one for you and

One for you and one for you

And one for you and one

For you and one for you--

[ Pants ] boy, I could use

An ice cream myself!

- Somebody lost a book.

Hmmm, you'd think they could

At least have the decency

To lose something edible.

Here's the address of the owner.

It's a copy of cinderella.

I remember this story.

Pretty lady, ugly stepsisters,

Fairy godmother, prince,

Glass shoes.

I wish I had a fairy godmother

To grant my wishes.

For my first wish,

I'd wish for lasagna.

For my second wish,

I'd wish for more lasagna.

And for my third wish,

No, you're wrong.

I'd wish for more wishes so

I could wish for more lasagna.

I wonder how you get

A fairy godmother?

And who might you be?

- I might be michael jackson,

But I ain't.

I'm your fairy godfather.

- Right.

- I'm gonna make you

An offer you can't refuse.

- See ya around, fella.

- If you want to blow your

Chance for three wishes,

That's up to you, pal.

- Three wishes? Me?

I get three wishes?

Honest?

- And hurry up with them.

I ain't got all day.

- All right.

For my first wish,

I wish for lasagna.

- You got it.

- Ah, nice hot lasagna!

[ Gasp ]

- I'm not know how he did it

But I'm know he did it!

- You wanted lasagna?

You got lasagna.

- I got lasagna, all right.

You and I are gonna

Get along just fine.

- Aha! There you are!

I'm knew it was you!

You keep your hands off

Of my lasagna, cat,

Or I'm having you arrested!

- You stole those lasagnas!

- Hey, how else?

What do I look like?

A pizza cook?

Give me your second wish.

- Okay. I'd like lots of money

To buy lasagna with.

- Okay.

Sins ala bim and all that jazz.

There you go, $43,511.37.

That enough?

- It's a start. Thanks.

- Hey, hurry back!

You got one more wish to use.

- This is heavy.

I'll drop it at the bank

And convert it to large bills.

- Mr. Mendleberger,

A sack of money is missing

Containing $43,511.37!

- I need this changed.

It's $43,511.37.

[ Buzzer sounding ]

- Oh, it's okay, fellas.

I don't need an honor guard.

Let me outta here!

I'm innocent!

Get me an attorney!

Get me an attorney named murray!

- Is that your third wish?

- You stole that money!

- Hey, how else am I

Supposed to get the money?

- Okay, cat.

The bank decided not

To press charges since you

Brought the money back.

- Ready for your third wish?

- Go away!

- Oh, come on.

- Flap your wings and buzz off!

- Maybe I didn't make

Myself clear.

You got a third wish coming

And you're gonna use it

Or else.

- I just want this guy outta

My life before I get life.

For my third wish, I want...

- No! Not that!

Anything but that!

- Hey, it's my third wish and

I can have whatever I want.

- Oh, okay.

One fairy godmother coming up.

- There you are, herbert!

Where have you been?

- Just granting some wishes,

Abigail.

- You can grant my wishes

For a while!

I wish the trash was taken out,

I wish the dog was walked.

- Yes, my love.

- And take that tissue

Out of your mouth!

- I think she made him

An offer he couldn't refuse.

Oh, well, so much

For my three wishes.

This is the lost book

That started it all.

I might as well return it

To its owner.

- Oh, little kitty.

You found jennifer's book.

She's been so upset since

She lost it in the park.

Here.

I want you to take this

Lasagna I made as your reward.

- Hey, how about that?

A happy ending.

I like fairy tales.

- I'm bored.

I've got to find

A purpose in life.

[ Blowing air ]

- Can I try that?

- This is my exercise.

Find your own feather.