03x09 - Hound of the Arbuckles/U.S. Acres: Read Alert/Urban Arbuckle

[bunniefuu]

Ladies

Ladies and

Ladies and gentlemen,

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield and

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield and Friends!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield ♪♪d Friends!

We're...

We're...

ready...

ready...

to...

to...

party!

♪ We're ready to party,
we're ready, yo! ♪

-[Garfield] ♪ I hope you
bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in,
it's time to party ♪

♪ With Garfield
and Friends, ohh! ♪

Dancing...

Fiesta...

Romancing...

Siesta...

Samba...

La bamba...

Ay caramba!

Disguises...

Disguises...

Surprises...

Surprises...

And pies of...

And pies of...

all sizes!

♪ Come on in,
come to the place ♪

♪ Where fun never
ends, you bet! ♪

♪ Come on in,
it's time to party ♪

♪ With Garfield and Friends! ♪

♪ Come on in,
it's time to party ♪

♪ With Garfield and Friends! ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends! ♪

[Garfield] Hey, you, the kid
who missed last week's show.

You better have a good excuse.

♪♪

And now, because you
were bad last week,

it's time for
"Screaming with Binky."

Famed sand sculptor
Sandy Watanabe

is building the largest
sand castle in history.

If he adds one more
grain of sand,

he wins a thousand dollars.

OK, cue the clown.

Hey, Sandy! Surf's up!

[snap]

[rumbling]

And now here's some-
thing else to watch.

[clown] Hey, don't
you wanna hang ten?

Surfin' is the only life!

Help!

[Garfield] A movie
without a snack

is like a day
without sunshine.

Or worse, like linguine
without clam sauce.

Especially when the
afternoon movie matinee

is "Sherlock Holmes and
the Hound of the Baskervilles."

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Uh-oh. Either the TV's broken

or I'm watching the
All-Static Channel.

This calls for a
direct application

of high-level
technical knowledge.

TV repairmen charge 50 bucks
an hour for doing this.

Odie! Here, boy.
[whistles] Odie?

[Garfield] One side, Arbuckle.
This is an emergency call.

You don't understand.

We're under a code 13 red alert.

Severe lack of TV.

I know, the TV isn't working.

I'll call the repair service
right after I locate Odie.

I haven't seen him all day.

He probably went out
to bury a bone

and dug his way
to China by mistake.

Meanwhile, I'm missing
Sherlock Holmes!

Sherlock Holmes, huh?

Take this book of
Sherlock Holmes stories

and read about it.

It's better than watching TV

because your imagination
supplies the pictures.

Odie! Where are you?

[Garfield] Mental movie?

How will I visit the
sandbox during commercials?

"Sherlock Holmes and his
faithful companion Watson

were a brilliant
detective team."

[yawns]

[sighs] Think I'll take a nap

and have a dream
sequence of that.

[hound howling]

Well, Watson, what
do you make of this?

[Watson] It was a pretty
expensive umbrella

before a small yellow-and-brown
dog with an annoying bark

who slurps got to it.

I see.

You believe the owner
has recently had

a close encounter with
a diminutive canine.

[Watson] You bet
your magnifying glass.

Uh, Mr. Sherlock home?

I am Holmes, and this is
my assistant, Watson.

I'm Jon Arbuckle,
and-and I've lost

my small yellow-and-brown dog

with an annoying
bark who slurps.

And my umbrella.

Excellent deduction,
Watson.

[Watson] Piece o' cake.

We found your umbrella.

[Watson] That will be

[Holmes] As for your dog,
I suspect foul play.

But rest assured, Watson
and I are on the case of...

the Hound of the Arbuckles!

-[thunder claps]
-[Watson] Nice touch.

[Jon] And then my dog
disappeared without a trace.

[hound wails]

Oh, no! He's come
back to haunt me.

We should start
looking for clues.

Like this piece of tile.

Watson, we have
our work ahead of us.

No clue shall escape
my trained eye.

[Watson] He couldn't find
a hippopotamus in a hot tub.

[hound wailing]

Watson! It must be a ghost.

We've been all
over this manor

and not seen one
trace of the dog.

[Watson] It's an
old maxim of mine

that when you have
excluded the impossible,

whatever remains,
however improbable,

must be the truth.

Meaning?

Meaning that we have searched
everywhere in the house,

so he must not be in the house.

He must be on the house.

Confound it, Watson.
You've done it again.

[Odie yelping]

[Holmes] The Hound
of the Arbuckles

has been trapped on the
roof the entire time.

[Odie wailing]

Here you go, governor.

[barks]

The piece of tile I found
outside was the key, Holmes.

It obviously was dis-
lodged from the roof.

Yet another case we've solved
brilliantly, eh, Watson?

[Watson] As usual, I solved
the case, he gets the credit.

[Odie howls]

[Garfield] It's the Hound
of the Arbuckles.

[Odie howls]

No, it isn't.

It's Odie.

[Odie howls]

He's somewhere close by.

[Odie howls]

[howl]

It was careless of Jon

to have left this extension
ladder on the lawn.

Now I remember.

I saw it leaning up against
the house a while ago.

It must have fallen.

[Odie howls]

Garfield, I'm worried.

I still can't find Odie.

[Garfield] Elementary,
my dear Arbuckle.

Odie!

The Hound
of the Arbuckles

has been tangled in the
antenna the entire time.

That's why the TV
wouldn't work.

[howls]

[laughs] I'll bet you
climbed up the ladder

and then it fell and
you couldn't get down.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna fix the TV antenna.

Stay here and make sure
the ladder doesn't fall.

I'm sure glad I found you, boy.

[Garfield] I find Odie,
Jon takes the credit.

The world is full
of superegos.

You're lucky you have
me around to rescue you.

I can handle anything.

Handle this.

Come on, Odie,

we can still catch
the end of the movie.

That Sherlock Holmes
was some guy, eh, Odie?

[barks]

[hound howls on TV]

[Jon] Garfield!

Garfield?

[Garfield] And
thus ends the case

of the Hounding
of the Arbuckle.

Turn the volume up

and pass
the cheese puffs.

[Jon] Garfield!
Bring the ladder back.

Garfield! You're gonna
be in big trouble.

Garfield!

I have lasagna up here.

Oh, Garfield!

Garfield!

[lullaby plays]

[snoring]

[bull approaching]

[snorts]

[Roy] Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[incoming whistle]

Orson, can
roosters fly?

Not very far.

I thought so.

♪ If I wanted to
be a sailor ♪

♪ Then a sailor
is what I can be ♪

♪ By using imagination ♪

♪ I can be any-
thing, you see? ♪

♪ I could be a cowboy ♪

♪ Or a big business tycoon ♪

♪ You know, if I
even wanted to ♪

♪ I could be the
man in the moon ♪

♪ Where will I be,
on a ship on the sea ♪

♪ It's a nice way
to take a vacation ♪

♪ I could be any-
where I wanna be ♪

♪ If I use imagination ♪

♪ I could be traveling
in the Far East ♪

♪ If I should take a notion ♪

♪ But now my
imagination and I ♪

♪ Are on the ship
on the ocean ♪

♪ Yo-h*-har-har ♪

♪ I'm on a ship on
the ocean, I are ♪

♪ Batten the hatches
and raise the mainsail ♪

♪ I'm gonna go out
and get me a whale ♪

[Orson] "Call me Ishmael.

Some years ago, never
mind how long precisely,

having little or
no money in my purse

and nothing particular
to interest me on shore,

I thought I would
sail about a little

and see the watery
part of the world."

Hey, what you
reading, Orson?

"Moby d*ck." It's a classic
book about a giant whale.

Giant whale? Oh,
please don't.

I'm afraid of giant whales.

Wade--

Also small whales,
sharks, piranha,

halibut, minnows,
canned tuna, anchovies

or capers, even.

Wade, I'm only
reading a book.

Yeah, but when you
read a book, Orson,

it's not like other
people reading a book.

Well, I'll admit
my imagination causes me

to sometimes get
carried away with myself.

Not yourself, meself.

Your imagination causes me

to get carried away
with yourself.

That's silly. Watch.

I'll start reading in
the middle of the book.

Oh, protect my body, please!

"It was on the fifth day
that finally was sighted

the object of the
captain's obsession."

[mumbling] I don't
wanna be here.

You'll not get away
from me, whale!

See what you've done? You've
got me in your fantasy

and we're out at sea,

and a big gefilte fish
is gonna eat all of us!

Wade, calm down.

It's just my
imagination at work.

Oh, no! No, no, no.

I'm not staying here
whilst you imagine me

into some dangerous danger.

I'm gettin' out of here!

Orson, what are you
imagining me into now?!

Wade, it's just a story!

[Wade] Orson, how come you look
like a big pair of tonsils?

Oh, no, I'm inside a whale!

Help! Stuck in big fish!

Help!

Mayday! I don't wanna be
seafood for seafood.

Call the Marines.
Call Pinocchio.

Yo, Jonah!

[crash]

Wade, don't panic.

Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.

You haven't been
swallowed by a...

What-what's...?

[chuckles]
I knew it all along.

Wade, books
cannot hurt you.

Like, take this one.

"Prehistoric Animals
of the World."

No, no, no! Not
prehistoric animals!

Please! Oh, no!

I wish I had
a book on courage.

"The fiercest of all dinosaurs
was the Tyrannosaurus.

This carnivorous beast
walked on its hind legs

as it roamed the land
in search of prey."

[playing simple tune]

Tubas aren't to play,
they're to annoy people.

[Wade] Help! Orson's
reading books again!

Uh-oh.

[crash]

[Wade] Help!
Further help, please!

♪@!#

[crash]

Explain, duck-o.

Well, Orson's reading,

and his overactive
imagination is whipping up

all kinds of scary stuff.

Oh, what kind
of scary stuff?

[feet pounding]

What? What? I don't
understand you.

[babbling]

Ty... Ty...

Tie? A tie.
I don't own a tie.

[babbling]

I don't own a shirt. What
would I want with a tie?

What's so important
here, anyway?

[teeth chattering]

[dinosaur growls]

Look at that.

[babbling]

Yes, that's about
what I said.

On your mark, get set, go!

We're trapped
like rats!

Speak for yourself.

[feet pounding]

[sighs] I'll have to read
this another time.

"Journey to the North Pole."

[Wade] Is the
Tyrannosaurus-osaurus gone?

I must be terrified.
I'm getting cold chills.

This is it, we're gonna
be dinosaur chow!

[Roy] July?

I wonder if they have anything
in here about penguins.

I love penguins.

Hey, I don't know
what Orson's reading,

but it beats
this heat wave.

Ya-hoo!

Hello, little penguin.

Oh, what's wrong with me?

They don't have penguins
at the North Pole.

They have polar bears.

[babbling] Polar...

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle... ♪

Let's see.
"The Great Lakes."

Uh-oh.

A double uh-oh.

No, no, no. I've gotta
put my books away.

Let's see...

"A Pictorial History
of Trains."

"Jack the Giant k*ller."

"Stage Coach to the West."

"The Martian Invaders."

Cease, desist!

Orson, would you stop
with the books for a second?

Puh-lease, your imagination's

running away with all of us!

But what'll I do
to occupy my mind?

Uno momento.

Here. This one
will be safe.

Hmm. This is interesting.

Is it safe?

Safe as can be.

I gave Orson
a coloring book

and that'll
keep him... busy.

Here,
I'll colorize you

and then
you colorize me.

Ooh, that tickles.

[both laugh]

Survival is
my life, Garfield.

Watch me
set up camp.

First, we roll out
our sleeping bag

and we unpack
our food.

Then we build
the campfire.

And finally,
we set up the tent.

Let's see now,
what have I forgotten?

[Garfield] To notify
our next-of-kin?

[horse snorting]

Imagine our old
friend Cactus Jake

running a Wild West show!

[Garfield] I'd be
more impressed

by him running
a hot-dog stand.

Where are the burgers?

[ground rumbling]

Those burgers
are a little rare.

We're safe.

Where livestock treads,

only fools dare
to follow.

Well, I'll be crazier
than a prairie dog

on a tin roof in July.

If'n it ain't
my pal Jonny!

[crunch!]

Oh, howdy, Cactus Jake.

This here is my eldest
son, Cactus Joe.

Howdy-do,
Mr. Arbuckle.

And this is my middle
son, Cactus Jimmy.

Howdy,
Mr. Arbuckle.

Put her there,
partner.

And this here is my
youngest, Cactus Josh.

A pleasure,
Mr. Arknuckle.

Oh, the, uh,
pleasure's mine.

[Garfield] Is it my imagination

or is there a definite
family resemblance here?

You still a single
feller, Arbinkle?

Yep. You know city women.

They just don't
understand us cowboys.

Ah, what you need

is a solid, dependable
country gal, Jonny,

and have I got
the gal for you.

There are those of
us who could use

a solid, dependable
country dinner, you know.

[Cactus Jake] And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

here she is, the best
little trick rider

this side of the Pecos,

Cactus Jackie
and her horse Goldie!

[crowd cheering]

Ain't she the prettiest
thing you've ever seen?

Looks just like her mother.

That was the same look
I had the first time

I ever saw linguine
with clam sauce.

[cheering]

What a woman!

[Garfield] What a hot dog!

[horse whinnies]

Pleased to meet you, Jon.

[Garfield] When do we eat?

Go on, ask her
for a date.

[mumbling]
Y-Yes.

Ahem! Uh...

How would you like to
have dinner sometime?

[Cactus Jake] That sounds
like a swell idea.

Let's all go to dinner.

B-b-but I didn't
mean everybody.

We're mighty particular
about who dates our sister.

Can't let my daughter
go out on a first date

without a chaperone-y.

Let's all head over to
our favorite eatin' joint.

[Garfield] I like western food,

especially from the
western part of Italy.

[crickets chirping]

[Garfield] Tsk-tsk.
Such a limited menu.

Chili with spaghetti.
Chili with linguine.

Chili with fettuccine.
Ah, chili with lasagna.

I could never date a man
who wasn't a real cowboy.

Ooh, uh, well,
that's me.

I'm a real ringer--
or a wrangler.

Just show her
how you can ride

the mechanical bull, Jon.

Yeah. Shouldn't be any
trouble for a real cowboy.

Ah, er, sure.
I could do that.

Uh, leave me
the car keys

so I can
drive home.

If you can ride
this mechanical bull,

you win
two free dinners.

Ooh, uh, sure.

Just watch.

Hey, where's
my waiter?

Well, about time.

I'll have a steak,
medium-well,

and some baked potatoes
with sour cream, and, um...

[laughing]

I'm gonna ride this critter.

Yeah, I won't eat until I do.

-Yowww!
-[crash]

[Garfield] It must be winter.
The Arbuckles are flying south.

Let's see how the pasta is.

Hmm, looks a little sticky.

Yeah, it's a little sticky.

Well, I blew it.

I told Cactus Jackie I was
a cowboy. Some cowboy.

Boy, I can really be
a jerk at times.

If you're waiting
for me to disagree,

you're in
for a long wait.

[sighs] You're
right, Garfield.

Cactus Jackie
will never like me.

Looks like it's up
to me to help Jon.

Hey, when you're the
star of the show,

you have to do
these things.

I'll need some of that pasta.

What are we doing here?

This is
Cactus Jackie's horse.

You want to impress
the little lady?

This is the pasta
from that restaurant.

See? It's labeled,
"Not to be taken internally."

I kind of liked
your friend Jon,

but he wasn't much
of a cowboy.

[Garfield] Here they come.

Garfield, I can't
ride this horse.

All right, folks.
It's show time.

Sakes alive, who went and
turned on all them lights?

[horse whinnies]

[Cactus Jackie]
There's my horse!

The city slicker's
fixin' to ride him!

This could get
real ugly.

[Jon] Whoaaaaa!

[Garfield] He won't fall off.

That pasta's better than
super-duper-ultra-glue.

Now that's ridin'!

What a man!

Or a reasonable facsimile.

Hey! Whoaaaa!

[crash]

Jon!

Oh, you're the best rip-
roaring cowpoke I ever seen!

Oh, you're
my kind of guy.

I am?

[Garfield] I can use this
stuff to fix broken dishes,

maybe pave the driveway.

Well, my daughter's took
a likin' to you, Arburger.

But you don't have to buy
dinner tomorrow night

for the whole family.

Dinner tomorrow night
for the whole family?

Well, if you insist.

Oh, ahem, well...

At least there's
just the five of you.

Yep. Of course there's
the rest of the Cacti family.

There's also my nephew,
Cactus Jeb.

Howdy there, neighbor.

My grandmother,
Cactus June.

Howdy there, country boy.

My cousin,
Cactus Jeremy.

[Jeremy] Pleased to meet you.

[Garfield] Jon's gonna
have to buy food for 40 people.

[Cactus Jake] My brother-
in-law, Cactus Jethro.

[Cactus Jethro]
Looking forward to dinner.

[Garfield]
This could still be

the cheapest dinner
he's ever paid for.

[theme song plays]

[background chatter, laughter]

Hey!

Whoo!