03x15 - All Things Fat and Small/U.S. Acres: Robin Hog/Hare Replacement

[bunniefuu]

- [Announcer]

- [Announcer] Ladies

- [Announcer] Ladies and

- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen,

- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, Garfield

- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, Garfield and

- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, Garfield and Friends.

- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen[upbeat music] Friends.

♪ We're ♪

♪ We're ♪

♪ Ready ♪

♪ Ready ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ Party ♪

♪ We're ready to
party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring
lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to play
with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Fiesta ♪

♪ Romancing ♪

♪ Siesta ♪

♪ Samba ♪

♪ La Bamba ♪

♪ Aye Caramba ♪

♪ Disguises ♪

♪ Disguises ♪

♪ Surprises ♪

♪ Surprises ♪

♪ And pies of ♪

♪ And pies of all sizes ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to play
with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to play
with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends ♪

- [Garfield] We
interrupt this program

to bring you commercials.

Wow.

[upbeat music]

- Have fun in the snow,
boys. [slams door]

- Odie, are you okay?

[screams]

- Wimp.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

[exhales loudly]

Great morning for some
whitewater river rafting,

wouldn't you say, boys?

[Odie barks]

- At least I'm color coordinated
with my life preserver.

[Odie barks]

[women laugh]

- I think I hear the
call of the wild.

- Listen, Jon, this is
the call of the breakfast.

[upbeat music]
- We've had a lot of lunches

mysteriously disappearing around
here in the last few weeks.

- Hey, don't look at
me, I just got here.

- Someone is stealing food? Who?

- Beats me.

- I was saving this
for an emergency,

and if not having eaten in
two hours isn't an emergency,

I don't know what is.

[Odie whimpers]

- [Park Ranger] Just remember
to hang on to something.

- Is it okay to hang
on to you, honey?

- Better close your mouth,

there are squirrels around

looking for places
to hide their nuts.

- I guess some guys have
it and some guys don't.

[Odie whimpers]

- Hey, some pets have
it and some pets don't.

[Odie whimpers]

Okay, you can have
a small piece.

Hey, I said a small piece.

I meant, like, one
piece of lettuce!

Come back with much of
my sandwich! [screams]

- That's my cat!

- In my raft!

[Odie whimpers]

[screams]

This is more than an E ticket.

Not the water, cats hate water.

This is a genetic
fear emergency.

Uh-oh, I forgot about the
inherent danger of claws.

- He's heading
downriver, let's go!

- Be with you in a second.

Alright, I'll go with ya.

- Help! Help!

Definite help needed!

That was nowhere near as much
fun as it looked, trust me.

[soothing music]

Ah, nature, I am an animal,

here, other animals
are in their element.

There are birds in
the trees, [owl hoots]

[owl hoots]

make that large, predatory
birds in the trees.

[wild animal noises]
I'm not an animal,

I'm just a house cat!

[tries to whistle]

- Garfield?

- Your cat may be
trying to walk home.

- That's not like
him, walking is work.

- Well, in times of crisis,

the homing instinct in pets

can be strong enough to
overcome normal behavior.

You've seen those movies
about dogs and cats lost,

- Uh-huh.

- For the Love of Old
Fred, Muffins Come Home.

- Oh, [sobs] I love that movie.

- Muffins and Old Fred
get left at the rest stop.

- [sobs] Oh gosh, those
movies always make me cry.

- Me too. [both sob]

- These are supposed to
be real men? [men sob]

[upbeat music]

[Odie sniffs raft]

[Odie howls]

- Oh no, a wild
animal is after me.

Campground #11,

when it comes to
urban survival skills,

I'm the king of the jungle.

I'll start with the
cute kitty routine.

- [Bear] Psst, hey,
buddy, over here.

- A prime example
of felis domesticus,

and he's working our campground.

- No house cats allowed, buddy!

This is where we get
our three squares!

- There's enough for everybody.

Well, maybe not for
me, but for you.

- That is what you think.

- Uh oh, that pesky bear's back.

Go away! Shoo! Shoo!

Elmer, aren't you
worried about that bear?

- No, my dear,

I'm more concerned about
buggy-eyed razor-beaked fanarks,

they're real scary.

- There's a certain
lack of creativity

and aggressiveness here.

- Grr, snarl, snarl, grr.

I do a great fanark.

- Help, fanark, it's a
buggy-eyed razor-beaked fanark.

- Grr, roar, fanark
sounds, snarl.

- Garfield?

- [Man On Radio]
Attention all units

in the vicinity
of campground 11,

we've had a buggy-eyed
razor-beaked fanark sighting.

- That's a roger,
dispatch, we're on our way.

- What about my cat?

- A razor-beaked fanark
is serious business,

especially the buggy-eyed kind,

we'll pick up the search later.

Hey!

- We'd better split little
buddies, the fuzz just arrived.

- Oh, shucks, I was
hoping this routine

would be good for all summer.

[Odie barks]

- It's Garfield.

- Glad you found your cat,

now get back inside the
truck with the girls

and lock yourselves in,

I have to look for that fanark.

I'm going to find that fanark
and not rest until I do.

- Oh, I think we'd
better do like he says.

- You really were concerned
about your cat, how sweet.

- Here, Jon.

- Mm, easy, easy, ladies,

there's enough of
me to go around.

- Well, Jon's a hit with
the ladies and we got fed.

Do we have any catsup here?

- Mm-mm.

- I hate roughing it.

[upbeat music]

- Like, hey there,
you gloomy Gusses.

- Bo and I are here
to cheer you up,

we're going to
tickle you. [laughs]

- Tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle. [laughs]

- Can't remember when
I laughed so hard.

- Thought I'd die.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- All personnel please
clear the target area!

- We're all clear, Orson!

- Archery is a great hobby,

but one can never
be too careful.

- Yippee, it's raining walnuts!

- Like, wow, man,

your target practice has just
doubled this year's harvest.

[vacuum runs]

[upbeat music]

- And with the aid of
a little ingenuity,

plus an extension cord,

all those delicious
nuts will be mine.

- A foul for the
fowl on this play,

unfair advantage, man.

- It doesn't matter
who's got the most

since we'll be
dividing them equally.

- Divide up my nuts? No way!

Everything I picked up
belongs to me. [laughs]

You know, with enough practice,

you could be a
regular Robin Hood

with that bow and
arrow set, piggo.

- He can't get away with that!

Can he?

- I'd say he just did.

- I say we all make
like Robin Hoods,

we take from the rich
guy and give to the poor!

That's us.

- Yeah.

- I don't like the idea

of taking anything away
from anybody, even Roy,

but there might be a few nuts
left higher up in the tree,

I'll give it another...
[nut hits Orson in head]

- [Lanolin] Are you okay, Orson?

- [Roy] You could be
a regular Robin Hood

with that bow and arrow set,

a regular Robin Hood,
a regular Robin Hood,

a regular Robin Hood,
a regular Robin Hood.

[upbeat music]

[footsteps]

- I will resist your thievery

with every ounce
of courage I have!

- Hey, those are our walnuts!

- You can't have them!

- Boy, talk about rude.

- Only a bunch of knights

who work for the
sheriff of Nuttingham

could be so greedy
as to rob peasants.

- Robin Hog!
- Robin Hog!

- 'Twas surely a good thing
for little Bo and myself

that you droppethed in the
nick of time, Robin Hog,

elsed we would soon have
been tooken prisoner

by the sheriff's henchmen
and locked in the dark

and nasty dungeon of
Nuttingham Castle,

there to rot [muffled].

- Yeah, like, what Friar Duck
says goes ditto with me, man.

- Even Maid Lanolin,

royal ward of King
Richard the Lionhearted,

and she of whom
you are quite fond,

suffers because
of his treachery.

- [sighs] Indeed, there is
nothing the sheriff won't do

to increase his
wealth of walnuts,

thus we must remain as outlaws
here in Sherwood Forest.

[upbeat music]

- Robin Hog has thwarted my
evil plans for the last time.

Why, if it weren't for him,

all the walnuts in the
kingdom would be mine.

What to do, what
to do, what to do?

I know, I'll hold a
championship archery tournament

to lure him here.

- [footsteps] Hmm, it seems
my plan has been overheard?

Going somewhere, Maid Lanolin?

- Uh, it's time for my,

uh, daily jog around
the castle moat, Lord.

- By way of Sherwood
Forest, mayhaps?

You are not wearing
your running shoes.

Make sure she does not
escape to warn Robin Hog.

[upbeat music]

- It's time to make our move.

- Your plan is a bust, Sheriff,

Robin Hog won't risk
showing up here.

- Oh, he'll show,

he'll probably try to fool
me with a clever disguise,

but my knights and I will
be on the lookout for that.

There he is, grab him!

I've got you at last, Robin Hog!

Hey, I knew I'd spot...

Who are you?

- He's not Robin
Hog, that's for sure.

- He'll be here, I know he
will, he's after my walnuts.

It's him, it's him!

He's everywhere!

Arg! [babbles]

Robin Hog! [screams]

- Hey, handing out
these funny glasses

was a great idea, man.

- You have defeated the
evil sheriff of Nuttingham

and freed the walnut farmers
from his tyrannous tyrannous.

- I did nothing, 'twas
the sheriff's own greed

that caused his downfall,

and now to win that contest.

- [Announcer] Robin
Hog is the winner!

[crowd cheers and applauds]

- Ow!

- You've got quite a bump
where that walnut hit ya.

- Oh, yes, the walnut,

I think I know how to
solve our problem with Roy.

[upbeat music]
[Roy grunts]

Uh, do you need some help
storing your walnuts, Roy?

Looks like you don't have
enough room for all of 'em.

- No, thanks.

- See ya later then.

- Hm, I bet they're
scheming to take my walnuts.

- Hey, Roy, Sheldon and I
are going on a worm hunt,

wanna come with us?

- Trying to lure me
away from here, are you?

Well, I'm not falling for that.

- Hm, sorry you feel
that way, Roy, bye-bye.

- I have to stay alert,

first, I'll put an
extra lock on the door.

I better put bars
in the windows too.

I'll hire a nightwatchman.

But there's no one I can trust.

I'll sleep in front of the door,

and I'll have all
my meals delivered.

[internal dialogue]
Oh, do I wanna spend

the rest of my year like this?

I won't be able to have any fun.

Whatever you were planning,
you can forget about it,

I have all these walnuts

but I'm too worried about
keeping them to enjoy them,

go ahead, divide 'em up.

[upbeat music]
- Thank you, Roy.

Robin Hog does it again.

- Robin Hog, you mean
as in Robin Hood?

Oh, I love Robin Hood.

Ah, to sally through
yon leafy forest,

purloining ill-gotten
gains from the wealthy

to bestow upon the not wealthy.

Therein lies the quest for the

[walnuts hit Wade]

nuts.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

[Odie barks]

- Odie, look,

it's a flying saucer

filled with intelligent
belly button lint.

- Well, guys, you know
what I'm dressed for?

- They just made you
an honorary penguin?

- The Amazing Arbuckle is going
to dazzle wonder-filled eyes

with feats of presti-
digitation and legerdemain.

- Mm, Jon's gonna
bore some folks

with his lame-o magic act.

- And I even rented a rabbit

so I can perform my famous
rabbit out of the hat trick.

One for the show,
two for the money,

abracadabra, and here
is a bunny, ta-da!

Here, you get acquainted,

I'm gonna go get the
rest of my props ready.

- Welcome to the house,

and no, there's no
more dinner left.

- I don't want dinner,

I just want out
of this hat stuff.

- What's the matter, don't
you love show business?

- Show business?

You call getting jammed
into a musty old hat

three times a night
show business?

I've been pulled outta
hats, caps, derbies,

motorcycle helmets,
berets, beanies,

I once had an Indian magician
pull me out of a headdress,

and it's always by the ears!

How would you like to get
picked up by the ears?

- Hey, it beats getting
picked up by the police.

- Well, I've had it, I quit!

I'm out of here!

I'm history!

- I don't blame him,

who'd wanna spend their life
getting pulled out of a hat?

- Okay, I'm ready to
go. [upbeat music]

Where's my rabbit?

- He walked, or
hopped if you prefer.

- I gotta have a rabbit for
my act, that's my best trick!

- Hey, too bad,

where you gonna get a
rabbit at this hour?

- You know, Garfield,
you're almost the same size.

- Uh-uh, no way, I
don't do rabbits.

No, no, I don't
wanna hippity-hop

down the bunny trail, no!

- Garfield, I need a rabbit.

- No, absolutely not,
get me an attorney.

I'm not gonna be a
rabbit, and that's that!

This is the most humiliating
moment of my entire life.

If you're my friend,
you won't laugh.

[Odie struggles not to laugh]

[upbeat music]

[Odie laughs]

Always nice to know
who your friends are.

[upbeat music]

- Okay, Garfield,
now get into the hat.

[Garfield grunts]

[Jon grunts]

- Odie, help,
Odie! [Odie laughs]

- Hm?

- Odie, you cowardly dog,
see if I ever help you again!

Not that I ever have.

I hate show business.

[upbeat music]

- I know it's cramped, Garfield,

but it's just until
I finish my act.

[crickets chirp]

- Okay, Louie, I'm
makin' a break for it.

[exhales loudly]

Sorry, Jon, my momma didn't
raise me to be a bunny rabbit.

[upbeat music]

- And now, I just
say some magic words,

alakazitzen alakazots...

Or is alakazots and alakazits?

[clears throat] Well,
I say some magic words,

and now, as you can see,

the tie has been
restored. [chuckles]

How did they get out?

I knew it was alakazots first.

Thank you, ladies and
gentlemen. [sparse clapping]

Thank you, and now I would
like to do my last trick.

[cheering and applause]

Quiet, or I'll do six more!

[clears throat]

An ordinary, empty top hat,

from which I shall
now produce a rabbit,

or a reasonable facsimile.

Here we go, Garfield, try
not to be eating anything.

One for the show,
two for the money,

abracadabra, and
here is a bunny.

[chuckles]

One for the show,
two for the money,

abracadabra, and
here is a bunny!

One for the show,
two for the money,

abracadabra, and
here is a bunny.

One for the show,
two for the money,

abracadabra, and
here is a bunny.

Garfield, this isn't funny.

Garfield, come out of there.

Garfield!

[upbeat music]
[Odie whimpers]

- Why, you dirty,
lowdown, sneaky dog,

you keep your blankity-blank
nose out of my home

or I'm gonna flatten
your nostrils

and tie your ears in a bow
for Christmas! [slams door]

[upbeat music]

[Odie pants]

- Oh, it's no use,
I can't sleep.

All those years cooped
up in those stupid hats,

would you believe
I got used to 'em?

Hey, who are you shoving?

- I should never
have made him do it,

Garfield, can you
ever forgive me?

Making you dress up in
that rabbit suit like that,

it was all my fault,

now you're lost forever,

lost somewhere inside a hat.

I'll try one last time,

but I know it won't do any good.

One for the show,
two for the money,

abracadabra, and here's a bunny.

I knew it would...

Garfield!

- Did I miss my cue?

- Garfield, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry,

oh, how can I ever
make it up to you?

- Una minuto.

[upbeat music]

- Luigi's Lasagna
World takeout menu,

Taco City home delivery menu,

Pagoda Palace, we deliver,

I guess it's the least I can do.

- And I'm not sharing one bite
with that turncoat canine.

Imagine Odie running
out on me like that

in my hour of need.

[Odie barks]

- [Jon] Odie, you
found my rabbit.

- Yeah!

- Well, this calls
for a celebration,

I'm gonna call some
of these places.

- You were trying to help me
by bringing the rabbit back.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I guess I misjudged you,

would you like to
join me in the feast?

- Yeah.

- And you'll join us too.

- Could I eat in my hat?

I miss the old place.

[vehicles start]

- Okay, here you are, boys,

I'm gonna get
out of this tux.

- Wait, Odie,

look at that redheaded
pterodactyl Elvis impersonator!

- Hmm?

- Hey, pal, look at that blimp

containing a lifetime
supply of linguini!

- Where, where?

- Hey, I hadn't been
hanging around magicians

all my life for nothing,

I know all the tricks.

[upbeat music]