01x06 - Fairweather Friends // Turtle Confessions

[bunniefuu]

♪ My name is Angela

♪ Hey, hello!

♪ Welcome to my very own show ♪

♪ I'll introduce my friends to you ♪

Oh no! It's Ninnypoo!

♪ Shoobee-doobee-doo wap-waa.

♪ My name is Angela

♪ And you are not

♪ Nanette Manoir is a stuck up jerk face snot ♪

And now to today's story, starring me.

And NOT starring Nannete Manoir.

Another day at Tapwater Springs Elementary

to look my best.

Nice hat, Angela Anaconda.

Are we hunting today?

Hunting for taste.

[laughing]

[coughing]

Class, I've just received shocking news: Nanette

Manoir will not be gracing our classroom with her

radiant presence.

What? -What?!

Yes.

I'm afraid she's home sick in bed with a head cold

and laryngitis.

Say it isn't so!

Say it isn't so even more!

So before we immerse ourselves

in sedimentary rocks, each of you will write a note

of encouragement to dear sweet Nanette.

So what does a person write to a fake French teacher's

pet who I have always wished could not talk

and finally can't?

Hmm.

I got it!

"Nanette, I know you're sick.

I'm just sorry you're ill?"

Why Angela, that's very sweet.

Why it's the sort of thing I'd expect from Nanette.

Such sweetness shouldn't go unrewarded.

Phew!

Class, as you know, Nanette was "in charge" of the

Spring Fling Decorations Committee.

Now that she's indisposed, her dainty shoes will have

to be filled.

What is it, Candy May?

Filled, with what?

I don't follow.

Candy May: Follow who?

Augh!

I will now choose the name, completely at random,

of the student who will take her place.

That randomly chosen student will be "in charge" and

shall choose two helpers to help decorate.

Why it's the scribe with the sympathetic pen --

ANGELA ANACONDA!

ME?!

I've never been picked out of a hat before!

I'm going to preserve this forever just like space food.

Hey everybody!

I'M "IN CHARGE!"

I'm fluffed, Mother.

It's so nice of your classmates to send you a

'Get Well' thingy.

"I know you're sick, I'm just sorry you're ill."

She can't get away with that!

Who can't get away with what, dear?

Page January and Karlene!

Pick me! Pick me!

Attention everybody!

I will make my final choice of helpers as soon as I eat

my tuna fish pita-pocket.

Wouldn't want to make a decision on an empty stomach.

What are we going to do, Karlene?

Whoever's in charge is "the somebody".

And if we're not with "the somebody".

We're "nobodies".

And what good are dignity, pride and fabulous

good-looks if we're nobodies?

Get out of the way. We're coming through.

MOVE!

I can make tissue flowers for you, Angela.

I often practice with toilet paper at home.

What?! I find it relaxing.

Angela!

Did I tell you I love the hat?

I love it even more.

It's a pith helmet.

What jungle explorers wear to keep pesky parasites

out of their hair?

[LAUGH]

Uh, Karlene, I think you're beeping.

It's just Nanette.

But why would we want to talk to her when we could

talk to YOU?

About what?

About why you should pick us as your

Spring Fling helpers.

But Angela, I thought you were gonna pick us.

We're your friends!

We brought you some Mallow Muffs.

Oh, look!

A whole squirt bottle of whipped cream -

with your name on it!

Thanks!

Angela, this is bribery.

They're only doing this so you'll pick them.

Sorry, not interested.

Well, perhaps you would like to come swimming at my own

private almost- Olympic-sized backyard

swimming pool?

Did you just say 'swimming pool'?

Not a plastic ankle-wetter, but a real authentic

built-in water-filled swimming pool for swimming?

I believe the legal term is extortion.

Did I mention your friends were invited?

And we'll have a barbecue?

Barbecue?

Let me get this straight-- we get to swim in a real

pool and eat barbecue till we burst and those two

can kissers do all the decorating?

I don't see the downside.

Attention everybody!

I choose January Cole and Karlene Trainor as my

official Spring Fling Helpers!

We're somebodies!

When the "in charge" person thinks of spring,

what comes to the brain?

Rain!

Brilliant.

True, but rain can be wet.

Really wet.

Really, really wet.

Then there are flowers.

Nanette thought flowers.

But that's so predictable.

Forget flowers.

Already forgot.

Forgot what?

I know!

Bugs and Worms!

Huh?

Bug and worms unfreeze in the Spring and crawl and

fly, that's how you know it's Spring.

The first mosquito bite!

But what kind of bugs and worms?

Let me think.

We'll help you think!

I think a lot better when I'm swinging.

Or see-sawing.

Or swimming!

This is the life.

While it lasts.

Why shouldn't it last?

January and Karlene know I'm funny and brilliant -

and in charge!

I don't understand why January and Karlene haven't

answered your pages, perfection.

What's that horrid noise?

[squawking]

Angela, don't the decorations for the Spring

Fling have to be done by tomorrow?

I figured out a way to swim and dive and bounce and get

the gym decorated.

I put Candy May in charge!

Who's in charge?

Angela: Candy May!

Hey! I'm not finished swimming!

Sorry, pool party's over!

We were only being nice to you because you were

'in charge'.

Hello, is Candy May there?

It's an emergency of emergency proportions.

Hey, come back here before I take you off the decorating

committee that I am no longer in charge of!

I never even got to not get wet.

Yeah, and what about our shrimp on the barbie?

Oh, so January and Karlene, my not-so loyal Spring

Fling-ettes, have a new leader to lead them.

You'll be sorry when I, Angela Anaconda,

become the world's fanciest fancy swimmer,

and you are once again chosen as my most

humble assistants.

Watch out, fickle flunkies!

I will tell you.

And if you ever really think I'll ever be your real

friend, definitely don't bother to hold your breath,

pointless pop-up pals.

Angela! Angela! Help us!

Oh great Spring Fling leader better than Nanette,

you will tell me.

Sorry, I can't hear you, I will tell you,

on account of I am about to do my famous back-stabber

cannon ball, with a double axle to grind.

Bombs away!

Thank you my slimy sl*ves!

Now catch this and our fair-weathered friendship

will be SEALED.

And seeing as seal pups love raw fish,

you can eat this perfectly good uncooked barbecue we

never ate.

Open wide!

I guess you could say make new friends,

but keep the old.

One is covered with silver fish,

and the other's gold.

[EVIL LAUGH]

All trespassers must move their wet derrieres off the

premises as of one minute ago.

Excusez-moi, Angela Anaconda,

but just what do you think you're doing here?

January and Karlene invited us over for a swim.

Oh please.

January and Karlene are spineless,

but they at least have taste.

Speaking of taste, is that lime gelatin?

It's specially designed French "get-trés bien" food

and it's mine!

When January and Karlene see what you've done to this yard,

you are going to be in so much trouble,

Angela Anaconda.

Hmm, where are January and Karlene?

We think filling the gymnasium from floor to ceiling

with crunched up napkins to make a

"Freak Spring Snowstorm" is so brilliant, Candy May!

Looks like Ninnie-Poo's former clone club thinks

someone else is French now.

Nanette! You're not sick anymore!

No, but from the looks of it, YOU two are!

Alfredo, push me home!

And hurry before I catch whatever THEY have.

I'm sick enough as it is!

[COUGH]

"Freak Spring Snowstorm?"

Does that sound "Fling-ee" to you?

Am I still in charge of the party?

Sorry, Candy May that party's over.

But if you want, you can be in charge of this one.

One what?

Party. You're having a party?

I thought you said it was over.

It's not over, till the food's over.

Normally I would say that the most fun part of the day

is now, on account of it is recess and we get to play

tetherball, the most fun of games.

Hey, Angela!

I saved you a place in line for Tetherball.

Wanna play?

Sorry, Johnny Abatti, not today.

Because today the fun would not be so fun.

Not until I unburden my inner turmoil.

Welcome, Angela, my child.

Have you come to clear your cobwebs of guilt?

Yes, Josephine Praline.

On account of I have done something horrible --

more horrible even than the time I took those pennies out of

Mark and Derek's penny loafers,

or the time I--

[CLEARS THROAT] Aren't you forgetting something,

Angela Anaconda, pennies for the poor?

Now then, Angela.

Start from the beginning and take your time.

But not too much time.

There's a heavenly game of tetherball going on and

Candy May is being an angel and saving me a place in line!

Well, it all started when Gina Lash's mother decided

to take her to Club Carumba for the weekend.

And Gina Lash didn't know who to leave Sheldon,

her pet turtle with, on account of she couldn't decide.

Most people find turtles boring to play with.

But I relate to their shy, skittish natures.

Which is why I'm sure you'll want me taking care of him,

Gina Lash.

But Gina Lash, I'm your best friend.

And if I get to, I'll give you that two- headed nickel

from my mutant coin collection.

Hey! That's bribery!

Gordy's right.

I have to make a decision based on what's best for Sheldon.

Which reminds me.

I made him this turtleneck sweater using only the

finest natural fibers.

It can get quite nippy in the winter months, you know.

Thanks, Gordy.

Wait a minute, Gordy Rhinehart!

Who's bribing now?

Gordy: Technically, Angela, it's not bribery,

seeing as the sweater's not for Gina.

Although, if you'd like a sweater of your own,

Gina Lash, I'd be happy to knit one for you.

Would it be ready by tomorrow?

Clothing is fine, Gina Lash.

But you can't compare a sweater to the stuff

I learned from reading my dad's field handbook of

turtles and tortoises.

Wow! A edition of Lengensheidt's Schildrote

Kleinhandbuch!

When it comes to turtles-- he's tops!

I'm impressed, Angela Anaconda.

Only now I really can't decide and I'm leaving

first thing in the morning.

Not to mention, I still have to review that

Three-Day-Weekend menu I asked Club Carumba to fax me.

I know, Gina Lash!

Why don't we flip for it!?

Well, I wouldn't normally leave anything as important

as Sheldon's well being to a flip of the coin,

but since time is of the essence -

Call it, Angela Anaconda!

Angela: Heads!

I knew it was wrong, but I really, really wanted

to take care of Sheldon for the weekend

on account of I just wanted to, okay?

So I used the two-headed coin from my mutant coin

collection.

Holy mother of pearl!

You tricked your own best friend?!

Wait. There's more.

Go on.

Ciao, Angela!

See you in a couple of mananas!

My dream had come true.

I had Sheldon all to myself.

But now the question was, "What was I gonna do with him?"

Go get it, Sheldon!

Go get it, boy!

He wouldn't fetch.

He wouldn't roll over.

He wouldn't even play Ping-Pong!

I was stuck with the most boring pet of all the most

boring pets in the world.

Johnny: Hey, Angela!

My Uncle Nicky installed that Aqua Pronto computer-operated

sprinkler system over at my Nonna Abatti's.

Wanna go play?

Do I ever!

Oh, but I gotta be back in two hours to feed Gina

Lash's do-nothing turtle like I have unfortunately

promised I will.

Why don't you just feed him extra now

so you won't have to later?

I think you just had an idea that is a great idea,

Johnny Abatti!

Especially when you consider it came from a kid who'd

been hit a few too many times in the head

with a hockey puck.

So now, seeing as I gave Sheldon enough food to last

him until Gina Lash came home,

me and Johnny are playing in Nonna Abatti's Aqua Pronto

sprinkler system, which Nonna says is even better

than the Trevi Fountain.

What are you doing?

It's time to feed Sheldon!

Relax, Gordy ol' pal.

Sheldon has enough food to last him at least the rest

of his boring life, on account of I gave him extra.

You did what?!

It was my idea.

Heh, heh.

But Angela, if you over-feed a turtle

it will eat itself to death!

Aw c'mon, Gordy.

If Gina Lash has never eaten herself to death,

I don't think her pet turtle will.

Yeah, relax. Come have some fun.

Stop that!

I just got over a sinus infection!

How was I supposed to know that when I got home.

Sheldon would be gone!

Where do you think he went to, Johnny Abatti?

I don't know.

Maybe he's lookin' for a place to kick the bucket.

Once on "National Explorer", they said that some animals

leave their homes to find a good place to croak.

Croak!

Uh-oh.

Could it be that Gordy was right?

Did I feed Sheldon too much and now he was croaking

somewhere in place he had found to croak?

Mmm hmm.

Well, at least Gina Lash will be glad he went on a full stomach.

Heh heh!

I had to find a replacement for Sheldon.

And fast!

Hello, Golden Shell Restaurant?

I will have the ginger Turtle soup.

But hold the soup, and the ginger.

Just the turtle please.

And don't cook him!

No! You on your own!

I was so desperate I finally had to sell my prized mutant

coin collection, which is my possession I most prize.

The only question was - Could I really fool Gina Lash,

smartest in the class?

Wow! Sheldon sure is peppy.

She never even suspected.

Shame on you, Angela Anaconda!

I know!

I am guilty as sin, and the cobwebs of my conscience are

filled with poison spiders on account of,

I tricked and lied to my best friend,

Gina Lash!

Josephine: Forget about Gina. What about poor Sheldon!

Sheldon?!

Put yourself in his shell.

Think of the horrors that helpless turtle went through

before his untimely end.

Hey, I'm up!

Well, Tetherball calls, gotta go.

Wait, Josephine! I'm still burdened!

Come back!

Ahhh!

I wonder if this is what Josephine meant to put

myself in Sheldon's shell, because I sure feel

like Sheldon now.

My mother always told me to come out of my shell.

And now that I am in one, I don't think

it's such a good idea.

Help me, help me!

I will cry.

Save me from this mega-downpour of mini-carrots!

Hooray!

It is Gordy Rhinehart, friend to turtles.

Who will be sure to keep me from getting nippy in the

cold winter months.

Mmmmph!

Mmmmm-mum um!

I will say while gagging on the world's tiniest scarf.

But now I am too hot and need to cool off!

Don't worry little turtle', Gordy will tell me.

'Nonna Abatti's Aqua Pronto will cool you!

Ahhh!

Uh-oh!

This shrinking sweater is shrinking and making me

think that maybe I am too big to be a tiny turtle.

Oh no!

It's a "turtle"wave!

Shew!

I will say when I finally make it to safety.

I am safe at last!

Nicky! Nicky!

Come-a out-a here!

I gotta great idea for a new pizza, huh?!

TURTLE PIZZA!

Turtle pizza?

No! Please!

I'm too young to be a topping!

Angela!

We've been looking all over for you!

We were just playing with Sheldon when we noticed.

That's not Sheldon!

What!?

Gina Lash, I have something terrible to tell you.

Sheldon bought the turtle farm and it's all my fault

on account of I fed him too much food for a turtle to eat.

So I got you a new turtle and just told you it was Sheldon.

But he's not really Sheldon seeing as he's another

completely different turtle completely!

I know, Angela Anaconda.

And I've decided to call him Zippy.

This is Sheldon.

But how?

When?

Who?

It was me, Angela Anaconda.

I was worried for Sheldon's well being.

So I kidnapped him while you and Johnny Abatti were

playing in Nonna Abatti's Aqua Prima sprinkler system,

and took care of him myself.

You knew all along but you didn't tell me that you knew?!

I figured it could wait, seeing as you were busy

playing with Josephine.

PLAYING?!?

I was confessing!

Anyway, now that I have more than one,

I have decided to initiate turtle races, right Gordy?

That's right!

I've got five to one on Zippy in the third.

Really? Turtle races?

Can I watch?

You can do more than watch, Angela Anaconda.

You can be in them!

[LAUGHING]

Hey, you guys! Wait for me!!

Come back here!

Wait up!

♪