01x17 - Cut to the Chase // Dirty Work

[bunniefuu]

♪ My name is Angela

♪ Hey, hello!

♪ Welcome to my very own show ♪

♪ I'll introduce my friends to you ♪

Oh no! It's Ninnypoo!

♪ Shoobee-doobee-doo wap-waa.

♪ My name is Angela

♪ And you are not

♪ Nanette Manoir is a stuck up jerk face snot ♪

And now to today's story, starring me.

And NOT starring Nannete Manoir.

Normally I would not be caught dead in a hat like this,

especially seeing how it is class picture day,

but it is on account of it being class picture day

that I am!

It all started when my Dad wanted to test out his

latest home project, "The Hair Magician".

Remember Dad, just my bangs.

No problem Angel-Face, all I have to do is set the dials.

Now, let's see.

Trim. Bangs. Ten seconds.

Okay, here we go.

See? Works like a charm.

And the beauty of The Hair Magician, Angel-fish,

is there is no chance of human error.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Take a look. [SHRIEKS]

Pretty great, huh?!

[SHRIEKS]

Normally, you could not pay me to go into my smelly

brothers' smelly room, but these are desperate,

extreme times which calls for desperate,

extreme acts of desperateness.

Like borrowing my brother Derek's hat which used to

belong to Smokin' Roscoe Shortcut Jones,

the famous monster truck driver,

and was personally signed by him too,

which makes it Derek's most prized possession -

next to his collection of bottled sweat.

And even though I will be probably be tickle-tortured

to death if my brothers catch me in this hat,

it will be worth it on account of it is better than

everyone in school catching me in my new haircut.

All right, children, line up.

Tallest in back, most attractive in front.

Excusez-moi, Mrs. Brinks, but don't you think the

chapeau Angela is wearing is tres inappropriate

for a class photo?

Especially since it clashes with my new dress,

which my parents bought duty-free in Paris.

Why thank you, Nanette, for your astute observation

and keen fashion sense.

Angela, please remove that silly hat immediately!

But, but I -

Brinks: We don't have time for your nonsense, Miss Anaconda.

Give me that hat this instant.

[LAUGHS]

I'm sorry Angela, you know the rule.

All confiscated contraband items are auctioned off

to the person with the most gold stars on the third

Friday of every month.

But Mrs. Brinks, it's not mine and I really need it

back to give it back!

Well lucky for you today is the third Friday of the month.

I'm sure it won't take too many stars to retrieve this thing.

If I don't get that hat back, I am dead meat!

So if I am going to get that hat back I am going to need

some help on account of you only get gold stars for good

conduct which means I have none.

I'd like to help you, Angela Anaconda,

but I kind of had my eye on that quarter-pound

chocolate bar.

But that's twelve weeks old, Gina Lash!

How about you give me your stars and I buy you a

brand-new fresh chocolate bar after school?

It's a deal.

Okay, so that gives me five stars.

How about you Johnny?

Three?

I thought you got six when you brought in pizza

for everyone on Monday.

Er, I did, but I gave three of my stars to Nanette.

She traded me for this imported French rubber band.

Okay, Gordy - Cough 'em up!

Here, take them.

Just get me out of this dusty cloak room.

[SNEEZES]

All right, we will begin the auction.

The first item up for bid is this retainer.

May I have an opening bid?

Two stars!

I have two stars. Do I hear three?

[RAPID AUCTIONEERING]

Going once, going twice, sold!

The next item up for bid is this sweaty,

stained white polyester suit.

Hey, that's Uncle Nicky's!

Back in the seventies he had disco fever.

But apparently Mrs. Brinks did not.

Do I hear one gold star?

Half a star?

Candy May?

Anyone?

I'll never get rid of this.

So what do I hear for this rather pathetic

article of clothing?

Nine stars!

Ooooohhhh!

Nine stars.

My, my, that is a high bid.

Going once, going twice -

Ten stars!

Nanette?!

I'm surprised a girl with your refinement and good

taste would be interested in such a pedestrian item.

Oh, it's not for me, Mrs. Brinks.

I need a new chew toy for Oo-La-La.

[GASP]

Alright then, it looks like Nanette

has the hat at ten stars. Going once!

Eleven stars!

Twelve stars!

Thirteen!

Fourteen!

All of my stars which is FIFTEEN!

Ooooohhh!

Did you want to make another bid Nanette?

Thank you, Mrs. Brinks, but I only have fifteen stars

as well.

That reminds me.

I would like to award Nanette one gold star for

her excellent conduct during this auction.

Huh?!

Merci Beaucoup, Mrs. Brinks.

I would like to use my additional star

to bid on the hat.

Well then, our new high bid is sixteen stars

by Nanette Manoir.

Going once, going twice, sold!

C'mon Nanette, if I don't get that hat back by dinner

time when my stupid brothers come home,

I might as well kiss my short life goodbye.

Well why didn't you say so, Angela Anaconda?

Of course you may have it- For a price!

What do you want?

Well, since it was a present for my precious Oo-la-la,

he'll be very disappointed, and the only thing I could

think that would make it up to him would be,

hmm, let me see, a new rhinestone collar?

But where am I supposed to get one of those?

Don't look at moi, which is French for you figure it out.

A DOG COLLAR?!

What do you take me for, a chump?

Hey, what about that?

What, you want this?

Yeah sure, you can have it.

But it don't come cheap!

A Slam-Boy?!

How am I going to get Uncle Nicky a Slam-Boy?

Those things cost a lot of money!

I'd like to help you Angela, but it took me weeks

to save up for this!

C'mon, Jimmy Jamal.

There's got to be something you'd trade it for.

Well, now that you mention it,

tomorrow is my Mother's birthday.

No problem. I'll crochet Jimmy's mother a pillow

and it won't cost you a cent.

Thanks Gordy. You're a real life saver.

There is just one thing.

KISS GORDY RHINEHART?!

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!

Please Gina!

I'll give you my parent's subscription to the

Cinnamon Swirls of the Month Club.

Mmm, sorry, Angela Anaconda.

No way.

Okay Gina.

What if Gordy just thought you kissed him,

but you didn't actually have to do it?

What do you mean?

Trust me. Meet me at Gordy's house in half an hour.

Okay, but don't forget those Swirls.

I heard they're Southern Fried this month!

Okay, Angela Anaconda, so what's the plan?

Just follow my lead.

Hey Gordy. Do you have the pillow?

Perfect!

Okay Gordy, pucker your lips and close your eyes.

On account of now Gina Lash is going to give you

a big surprise!

Jimmy: Happy Birthday, Mom, I made it myself!

There ya go.

Been a pleasure doing business with you.

[COUGHING]

Nice look, Angela Anaconda.

That is if you're one of the living dead.

And that's what I'll be if you don't hurry up

and give me the hat.

It's almost dinner time!

First things first.

Did you get the rhinestone collar?

Hey!

What happened to the autograph?

It's gone.

Oh, was that marker stain an autograph?

It must have come off when I had it steam-cleaned

and pressed.

You cleaned it?? How could you?!

Now it's ruined!

Fine. If you want it dirty so badly, have it your way.

Oops.

[GASP]

That's right, Nincom-ninnie.

Next time we trade it will be my way.

So now I am the auctioneer, and the first thing up for

bid is this wonderful rhinestone collar that is

unfortunately attached to this fake French mutt.

[RAPID AUCTIONEERING]

I will say.

Oh, Auctioneer Angela!

I will give you all fifteen of my stars to rescue my

pathetic pooch that is not really from France,

you will tell me.

And I will say going once, going twice...

Fifty stars!

Sold! To Uncle Nicky!

Please get my poodle back, oh Angela Anaconda,

better trader than I

I'm sorry Little Nin, but on account of

you raised your hand you have just won

the last item up for bid, a haircut from me!

Snip-snip here, snip-snip there,

I will sing as I snip.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who's got the crookedest hair of them all?

Little Nin, Little Nin, it's like totally true!

Like, no one's got crookeder baloney curls than you!

Yeah righteous.

Don't worry, Nin.

I've got just the thing - this monster truck driver hat.

Too bad the muddy mud will make it stick to your head

because now it must go into the drawer with all the

other confiscated contraband,

which means you must go too.

But don't worry, you can come out when they auction you off

NEXT YEAR!

Nightie-night!

[SIGHS]

Well, I guess I might as well go home for one last

dinner on account of it will probably be my last.

Hey Angela, you're still alive!

I might be alive, Johnny Abatti,

but I am also grounded on account of taking my

brothers hat and now I have to do all their chores

for a whole week.

Gee, that's almost as bad as having to kiss Gordy Rhinehart.

Yeah, but I still say it was worth it,

especially because it turns out that fake French poodles

are highly allergic to cheap rhinestone collars and some

even break out in a rash.

Hurry, Oo-La-La!

We don't want anyone seeing you in your condition.

Nice lid on the pooch there, Nanette Manoir!

Want us to autograph it?

[LAUGHING]

It is announcement day, the day Mrs. Brinks announces

who gets to be the weekly School Store Monitor

for the whole week.

And today I am extra excited on account of everyone in

class has had a turn except for Johnny Abatti, and me.

Class, open your books to the chapter on Ancient Egypt

and try to act mummified.

But Mrs. Brinks, aren't you forgetting to announce

a very important announcement?

Namely, who gets to be Student Store Manager

for the week.

Oh, I'm glad I remembered.

Let's see a show of hands - who hasn't had a chance to

manage the Student Store?

Nanette, surely it must be your turn to be

School Store Manager.

It's been so long.

Actually, Mrs. Brinks, school rules laid down by

our founding fathers state that everyone

must have a turn.

And since Nanette went first-

I unjustly won't be eligible again until everyone,

including those less capable,

have had their turn.

So disappointing.

Well, let's see if we can't get this over with

as quickly as possible.

Johnny Abatti- You will be Student Store Manager

this week.

Heaven help us.

And Angela Anaconda, You will be Student Store Helper.

Helper? But Mrs. Brinks!

And I suggest any of you who can hold off on your

purchases for a week, do so.

So now, on account of Mrs. Brinks is making me use up

my turn to be School Store Manager by being

School Store Helper, I will have to make the best of things.

Okay, Manager, your job is to watch me while I do

all the hard stuff - like make our official Student Store

employee hats.

But I thought I was the manager and you were the helper.

Exactly, Johnny Abatti.

That's why I'm going to help you,

by doing everything.

Our first customers!

Welcome to the Student Store.

May I help you?

I don't think so, Angela Anaconda.

Unless that paste is edible?

I got it.

I'll take care of the heavy lifting, Johnny.

That'll be sixty-three cents, ma'am.

Thanks, Gina Lash, come again soon.

Do you have any pencil-top erasers shaped

like real animals?

How about Dinosaurs?

They were real.

I was hoping for something more - Frogs!

What a beautiful reminder of the second plague against

the Ancient Egyptians!

Two please.

Take a break, Mr. Manager.

You must be exhausted from helping the last customer.

I'll take it from here.

Hel-lo-ooo?

If it's not too much trouble,

I'd like some service here!

Break's over, Johnny Abatti.

Back to work.

Be a dear and fill this order, little helper.

Okay, Johnny Abatti, hop to it!

You're the manager.

One eraser, one box of industrial grade neon paper

clips, three bendable pencils,

and two notebooks.

Five dollars and twenty-nine cents.

And, if you need help carrying all these

heavy items out to your bike.

Hey!

I am sure Johnny would be more than happy to help you.

But, I'm the manager!

Precisely. Now don't you worry about a thing,

Johnny Abatti, I've got it all under control.

I'll even lock up at closing time.

Alone and in charge at last.

So now it is Day Two of being helper to the manager

of the school store and everything is going great!

Hm. Where's Johnny Abatti, Gina Lash?

Fielding compliments on how well we're running the store?

For your information, Angela Anaconda,

Johnny Abatti is tomber malade,

which is French for "home the rest of the week with a

stomach ache from eating paste.

Johnny, my faithful co-worker,

out for the rest of the week?

I'm sure the only thing on his mind is that I carry on

as Manager without him.

In light of Johnny's absence for the rest of the week,

the new manager of the school store will be:

Nanette Manoir.

Nanette Manoir?!

But Mrs. Brinks, I'm the only one who hasn't had a

turn to have a turn at being manager.

Exactly, dear, you don't have the experience.

But no one else had the experience.

Mrs. Brinks: Yes, but they do now.

You know, Nanette, I'd be happy to do all the hard work,

like sell stuff and run the cash box.

If you want to just check in on me from time to time

that would be just fine.

Oh, don't be silly.

Running the cash box and servicing the customers is

the Manager's raison d'etre, which is French for,

"reason to be the boss."

The helper has an extensive list of menial tasks to perform.

Not the least of which is to have a neat and professional

appearance.

Hey, that's my official Student Store store-worker hat!

Let's not be insubordinate to our superiors, helper.

Now, the first order of business is to rearrange

this drab store.

How about over there?

No, let's try there.

No, I like it better there.

Perfect!

But this is where everything was in the first place.

It's the helper's duty to clean the shelves between

the products as well as clean each individual product.

Since when?

Since Mrs. Brinks assigned me manager.

Ugh.

Oh, Angela.

I have a very special job for you.

Normally I wouldn't give a promotional assignment

to just a helper.

A promotional assignment? Count me in!

♪ Come and visit the student store ♪

♪ for pencils and paper and so much more. ♪

Isn't it time for you to work at the Student Store, Angela?

Please, don't remind me.

Hey, Gordy!

If you give me your yucky old jiggly fruit,

I'll let you take my place working in the Student Store?

I already promised it to Gina.

Actually, I'm feeling extra generous today.

I'll let you work in my place for free.

No thanks.

Especially after what happened to Johnny.

I see you under there, Angela Anaconda,

and you're three minutes late.

If this weren't volunteer work, I'd dock your pay.

I can't believe I overlooked cleaning

under the counter yesterday.

And after you're done scraping,

pull up the rug and make sure there's no filth

hiding under there.

Hello Nanette!

My compliments on running such an efficient store.

I only wish I could pay you for doing such a wonderful job.

Thank you, Mrs. Brinks, but the work is really the reward.

Do you carry those thingys that, you know, clip papers?

Paper clips?

I think so.

Well, things are finally looking up.

Because I am out of here!

Hold it right there, Angela Anaconda!

My receipts indicate that the cash drawer is

thirty-three cents short!

Well, you probably just counted wrong.

I counted it twice.

You must have stolen it when I took my break.

I did not! See!

You probably passed the money off to one of your

accomplices so you wouldn't get caught with the evidence.

Or maybe you swallowed the money so you could retrieve

it at a more private moment.

Did not!

Did too!

Now, now girls.

What seem to be the hubbub?

Angela stole thirty-three cents from the cash box.

Angela did you steal that money?

No!

Well, unless you can account for the missing money,

I am left with no choice but to sentence you

to eraser duty.

But these erasers are clean.

Mrs. Brinks: After you write "I will account for all funds"

thirty-three hundred times on the blackboard

and then erase it.

That seems fair.

"I will account for all funds" I will account for all funds.

Someday I will show Mrs. Finks and Nanette-the-ninny

who is boss.

Now sentenced to an eternity of writing hieroglyphics,

sl*ve Angela toils under the watchful eyes of

Pharaoh Ninny and Cleo-fatra.

But sl*ve Angela isn't the only one who doesn't like

her captors, for here comes Queen Josephine

to unleash a plague of frog erasers.

AHHHHH!!!

Now I have the official boss hat,

and Pharaoh Ninnie-pooh and her helper must work for a

living to sell chintzy school supplies in the marketplace.

But unfortunately, no one wants to buy any of their

junk, that is until the generous Pharaoh Angela

comes along and buys everything in the store,

including Ninny-wart and Mrs. Stinks,

who will be put to work building a giant pyramid for

Pharaoh Angela out of giant erasers.

"Angela, Angela!"

you will whine.

"Our feet hurt and we haven't had our petit

dejeuner, which is not Egyptian for "snooty lunch."

Never fear, my indentured friends,

Pharaoh Angela is here to offer you a much deserved

lunch break.

What's wrong, don't you care for my sand-wiches?

The harsh desert climate has wrecked havoc on your

sensitive skin and hair, my fair Ninnie-pooh.

Perhaps an ancient Egyptian beauty wrap will help

revitalize you.

Mm-mm-mm-mmmmm!

You're welcome, Nanettunkomun.

Your beauty will now be forever preserved

in your own personal tomb.

Mrs. Brinks, Angela is wasting all of your chalk!

Angela Anaconda, you are to glue that piece of chalk

back together this instant!

Ohhhh.

Now where was I?

Oh, yes.

Nanette, here is the thirty-three cents

I borrowed from you to buy that stamp.

Thank you, Mrs. Brinks.

Hey, thirty-three cents?

That's exactly the same amount as the amount missing

from the Student Store!

Indeed it is.

Sounds fishy to me.

Now that I think about it, I could have lent you the

money from the Student Store cash box by mistake,

Mrs. Brinks.

Everyone makes mistakes.

We can all just keep this between us.

Perhaps there's some way I can compensate you, Angela,

for your troubles.

Now sing the song again, Nanette,

it'll cheer you up.

Grrr!

♪♪