01x23 - The Would-Be Defender

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

[dramatic music]

♪ Out of the sky, his rockets ignite ♪

♪ Jets into battle flying faster than light ♪

Flash Gordon!

♪ Lord of the jungle, the hero who st*lks ♪

♪ The beasts call him brother, The Ghost Who Walks ♪

Phantom!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ Master of magic, spells, and illusion ♪

♪ Enemies crumble in fear and confusion ♪

Mandrake!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ His strength is a legend, his skills conquer all ♪

♪ Armed with his power, we never will fall ♪

Lothar!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ With our new young heroes proving their worth ♪

♪ Four become eight defending the Earth ♪

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

[light music]

♪ ♪

And it's with great pride that I, Mayor Taft,

dedicate this new court building

to the Defenders of the Earth,

the greatest heroes of all time!

[cheers and applause]

- Those crooks are robbing innocent citizens,

something must be done.

Hey, you guys!

I see what you're doing.

- You come down from there at once!

You'll hurt yourself!

- Fear not, Mayor.

I have mastered all the aerial secrets

of Zombo the Flyman,

the famous comic book hero.

See?

Help!

Flash Gordon!

[chuckles] Hi.

You Defenders are my heroes.

Hope you don't mind me dropping in like this.

The name is Earl Sump.

- Uh, nice to meet you.

- Enough of the niceties, got a job to do.

Excuse me, would you mind putting me down?

Thanks!

- Don't mention it!

- My Zitzo Zapper'll thwart

those underworld knaves but good.

Captain Kidabra used one just like it

in "Villains of Voltair," issue .

- Hey, What gives?

Let me go! I'm innocent!

- I'm sure that we'll all sleep safe

in our beds tonight, thanks to Earl Sump!

- Name any reward, Earl, and it shall be yours.

- To spend a weekend at Monitor, visiting my heroes,

the Defenders of the Earth!

- So be it!

Earl Sump will be honored with a visit to Monitor.

- I could come today?

- Why not, Flash? He's only a kid.

What harm could he do?

- Please?

- [sighs] All right, Earl,

but just for the day.

- Wow! A real Defender ship!

How do you fly her, Flash?

- Just punch a few buttons and we're off!

- Hi, Jedda!

We'd make a great superhero team,

you and I.

- You think so, Earl?

- Wanna see a very rare Capn' Bagel

and the Fighting Lox!

It's in here somewhere.

♪ ♪

- Earl, watch it!

- Pull up, Flash! We're going to hit the crown!

- Earl Sump, inside Monitor.

Awesome. Out of sight.

- [chuckles] This Earl Sump looks like

he might be a real handful.

- Did you see how he almost cracked up the ship?

- Hmm, someone should give that boy a lesson in manners.

Observe, my friends,

how a true showman handles a fan.

[dramatic music]

- Wow! Mandrake the Magician!

Is that really you? - At your service, young hero!

- Do a magic trick for me, huh?

Will ya? Please?
[ … ]

- Well, perhaps,

if someone had a comic book they could lend me.

- I do. I do!

Here you go.

That's the deadly decimator, Metalman's biggest foe!

- Now the deadly decimator shall be your biggest foe!

Mind your manners, Earl, or--

- Don't threaten me, you foul fiend!

You're no match for Earl Sump!

Charge!

That was an illusion?

I'm sorry, Mandrake.

It seemed so real!

Just like when the Decimator met Mister Supersonic.

- Yes, yes, quite, my boy.

- Uh, perhaps Earl would like to meet Dynak X.

- Oh boy! Dynak X!

The brains of the whole operation!

Could I try a battle simulation, Jedda?

I'm ready!

- But is Dynak ready for Earl?

- Dynak X, meet Earl Sump.

- How do you do, Earl?

- She can talk!

This is wild!

- Rick has programmed Dynak to do just about anything.

- Oh yeah? Let's see.

- Warning!

Unauthorized personnel seeking access.

Defense system activated.

- No fair!

- Dynak is voice-responsive

and will permit access only to Defenders.

- All others are locked out by a force field.

- At last, one thing in Monitor that's Sump-proof.

- Easy, Earl.

The only way a stranger can operate Dynak

is with this special electronic access card.

- Force field deactivated.

Distress call received from planet Sardon Nine.

- Ming's roboships!

- What would Ming want on Sardon Nine?

We're losing the signal.

- Can I help?

- Earl! - I was only trying to help.

- Think you can handle Earl while we take on Ming?

- Frankly, old man,

I believe you have the easier job.

A hero's destiny calls

and Earl Sump must answer.

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

- Sardon Nine!

- Hey, Flash, catch this action.

- Mongo cruisers flying away from the mining fortress!

- I'm on their tails!

[blasters firing]

- That one's mine! Follow me!

- Pull up! It's a trap!

- Oomph! - Hi.

Thought you might need my help!

- Like a dog needs fleas.

- Let's blast that machine out of the way!

Earl, no!

That's not--Earl!

She won't budge!

- Greetings, Flash Gordon,

and farewell!

[dramatic music]

- Flash is down! He needs help!

- Look, there's Garax out in the open.

I'll strafe the machine and sh**t him off!

- I'm right behind ya!

[exciting music]

♪ ♪

- Way to go, kids.

As for you, Earl,

you'd better stay put right here,

and don't move.

- Come on, Flash!

Nobody ever ties up their fellow heroes

in comic books.

- You'll stay here until I decide

which side you're on.

Maybe I can get this ship moving

once I blow this mess off of us with laser heat.

- All right.

Dad's airborne again.

Now it's Garax's turn!

Whoa! I'm hit!

- Can you keep her in the air, son?

- I think so!

- We're heading home for repairs.

- Well, I'm disgusted!

In "Gems of w*r,"

Consetta the Bold never retreated

in the face of danger.

Ugh!

- Keep your seat belt on, Earl.

- Garax's attack took me by surprise.
[ … ]

- The Obliteron is a mining machine, Rick.

But it could be a very formidable weapon.

- The Obliteron's lasers are designed

to penetrate the diamond crust of Sardon Nine,

and are the most powerful in the galaxy.

- I would have blasted Garax to smithereens

if Flash had let me.

- Earl, give me a break, will ya?

- Well, I woulda.

- Blowing up the Obliteron

may be our only chance of destroying it.

- Spider-Man did the same thing in the comic class

"Siege of New York," issue .

- This is a little different from comic books, Earl!

- Rick's right.

This could be very dangerous work.

Maybe it is best if we return you home.

- How would you like me to escort you back

to Central City?

- But Jedda, I don't wanna go.

I can't leave you guys

to defend the Earth all by yourselves.

- It'll be tough without you, Earl,

but we'll give it a try.

Please get in the ship.

- No!

Not till I've proven to all of you

just how great a Defender I am.

Earl! Come back here!

Earl!

Earl, where are you?

- Stick 'em up.

- What? [grunts]

- Sorry to do this to you, Jedda.

But where I'm going is too dangerous.

Let's see.

Flash got her started this way, I think.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Look out, Ming, you've met your match.

- Sire, sensors indicate

a ship coming within visual range,

but its flight pattern is most unusual.

It is a Defenders Ship.

and it is out of control, sire!

- Go to the hangar deck, Octon.

Pull that ship aboard with a tractor beam!

- Identify yourself!

- You're talking to Earl Sump, the world's greatest Defender!

I'll only give my name,

school, and comic club decoder ring number.

- If you live that long!

♪ ♪

- You have damaged Ming's computers.

For this, you will be destroyed.

- Oh, yeah?

Take that, you tin balloon.

Hah! Even the vilest of villains

is no match for Earl Sump!

I didn't mean it!

Let's be friends, okay?

- Let's be friends, okay?

[groans]

- Wow, that power line must've really toasted your transistors.

I hope I didn't hurt you.

- [gibberish]

- You can be my very own sidekick,

just like Spacemaster and the Cosmic Kid.

- What is wrong with my communications system?

All my view screens have gone blank!

Octon?

Yes, sidekick.

Cosmic Kid here!

- Cosmic what?

I will investigate this nonsense myself.

- Rev up the biggest Mongo cruiser you've got, pardner!

We're movin' out!

Vamonos, amigo.

- ♪ Amigo! ♪

- I'm gonna blast something on that wall

for Ming to remember me by.

- ♪ Amigo, amigo ♪

- The name's Sump!

Wouldn't it be great

if someday they write a comic book about me!

Oh, you'll be in it too, Octon.

- Octon, too!

- How peaceful Monitor has become

without the presence of our young hero, Earl Sump.

- How's it coming, son?

- Ming's Obliteron has met its match

with this one device.

It'll blow it clear out of the galaxy!

- Right, son, but not until it's well inside Ming's Obliteron.

- What is it, Kisa?

[muffled shouts]

- Just wait till I get my hands on that little creep!

- You mean Earl? - Who else?

- Why would Earl have locked you in there?

- Oh no! My ship is missing!
[ … ]

- Earl?

- This guy is certainly not a team player, is he?

- What does Earl know about piloting a ship?

- All he had to do was start it,

the ship will take him anywhere he wants to go.

- Knowing Earl Sump that could be anywhere.

- Earl said something about going after Ming.

- How I pity him.

Earl, I mean.

- Alert! Alert!

Mongo ship approaching Monitor!

- Don't sh**t, Flash.

It's me, Earl Sump. I'm comin' in.

- Earl, you can't dock that ship!

- Come on, Flash.

I'm not driving. I'm not that stupid.

♪ ♪

- I see it, but I don't believe it.

- Okay, Octon, remember what I told you to say?

- Make way for Earl Sump!

Make way for Earl Sump!

- Make way-- - That's enough, sidekick.

- Sidekick!

- Earl's captured Octon? - How?

- Using Koda the Dragon Slayer's battle strategy,

from comic number .

I easily brought Ming to his knees.

His last words were,

"I curse you, Earl Sump,

greatest Defender of all!"

- Must be an illusion.

- Somehow, I find that very hard to believe.

- I brought you Octon,

doesn't that make me as good a superhero as you guys?

Come on, Octon,

I wanna show you off to everyone in town!

- No, this cannot be.

All of my computers are ruined!

What's this?

"I, Earl Sump,

"Greatest Defender of all,

"have captured Octon.

"Beware, Ming!

Keep your cooties off the Earth!"

Garax? - Yes, my lord?

- I want the Obliteron

transported to Earth immediately!

This Earl Sump will know the wrath

of Ming the Merciless.

Do you read me, Garax?

- Yes, Excellency.

- And Garax?

- Yes, Excellency.

- What are cooties?

- Looks like the entire town of Central City

has turned out to celebrate "Earl Sump Night!"

Yes, everyone who's anyone is here

to honor the hero of the day!

And here he comes now!

Earl, to what do you attribute your victory

over Ming the Merciless?

- The Defenders of the Earth were a real help.

I used everything they taught me!

- How nice of him to mention us!

- May I have your attention?

I'd like to introduce our guest of honor Earl Sump!

[cheers] - Thanks, everybody.

And now, please welcome a special guest of my own,

my sidekick, Octon!

♪ ♪

Oh, don't worry.

I've got him eating right out of my hand.

Okay, Octon, just like we rehearsed it!

- Let's hear it for Earl Sump,

the Greatest Defender of all!

[cheers and applause]

[exciting music]

- Power is restored, Sire.

- Activate my view screens, Garax.

I must find Octon!

- Energy sensors have detected him

in Central City.

- That is Earl Sump?

He is no superhero.

He is a super- wimp!

Head for Central City.

We will use my new Obliteron

on Defender Hall,

and Earl Sump.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[applause]

[blasters firing]

[audience shouts]

- Don't be afraid.

Octon and I will protect you.

Hurry, Octo, sh**t that thing down.

- ♪ Amigo ♪

♪ Sidekick... ♪

- Well, no wonder you can't sh**t, Octon,
[ … ]

you're falling to pieces.

Okay, Octon,

now waste that villainous machine!

- Silence, Earth boy.

Octon takes orders only from Ming the Merciless.

- Uh- oh, it's the old Octon!

I must've connected the wrong wires.

[people screaming]

♪ ♪

- Look, the Defenders of the Earth!

[exciting music]

- By Jungle Law,

the Ghost who walks calls forth

the power of ten Tigers!

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- If it hadn't been for you Defenders,

I don't know what we would have done.

- Sorry, everyone.

I guess there's more to being a Defender

than I imagined.

- You do have a wonderful imagination, Earl.

- And properly trained.

- You might make a fine Defender of the Earth.

- Really? I'll try real hard!

- Maybe you can come back and visit Monitor again sometime.

- Let's not get carried away. - Huh?

- Only kidding, Earl! Only kidding!

- Yeah, my man, we'll see ya...

uh, soon.

- [chuckles]

I'll bet it's sooner than you think.