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01x44 - 100 Proof Highway

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Defenders of the Earth". Aired: September 8, 1986 – May 1, 1987.*
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Flash Gordon and his son Rick escape from Ming the Merciless, who has exhausted the natural resources of his home planet Mongo and desires to exploit Earth.

01x44 - 100 Proof Highway

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

[dramatic music]

♪ Out of the sky, his rockets ignite ♪

♪ Jets into battle flying faster than light ♪

Flash Gordon!

♪ Lord of the jungle, the hero who st*lks ♪

♪ The beasts call him brother, The Ghost Who Walks ♪

Phantom!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ Master of magic, spells, and illusion ♪

♪ Enemies crumble in fear and confusion ♪

Mandrake!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ His strength is a legend, his skills conquer all ♪

♪ Armed with his power, we never will fall ♪

Lothar!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ With our new young heroes proving their worth ♪

♪ Four become eight defending the Earth ♪

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

Defenders!

♪ Defenders of the Earth ♪

- Gentlemen, start your engines!

- Get them, Eric! - Put it to him!

- Go for it!

- No you don't, hot dog!

Does this kid have moves?

Uh- oh. Company.

- You are exceeding the posted speed limit.

Pull over to the side of the road.

- Yes, Officer, I'll do just that, Sir!

Like I said, this kid has got moves!

- It's finally Friday!

This weekend, I'm going to kick back and relax.

- Not me, Rick.

I feel like doing something exciting!

- Like what? - I don't know.

I wish there was a party to go to.

- Hey, clean machine you got there.

You want to blow some carbon out

between here and school, huh?

- You know, Eric's acting like a real jerk lately.

- I know. I used to like that guy.

But ever since he started hanging out

with that Devil's Mountain crowd,

I don't know.

- I think he's kind of cute.

All the girls think he's real exciting.

- Oh, excuse me. - Oh, ah.

- I'm sorry, Jedda.

I'm kind of flying blind today.

- Pardon me?

- I had too much wine last night.

Today the kid has a k*ller hangover.

- Do your parents know you drink, Eric?

- Now why would any thoughtful young man

bother his parents unnecessarily?

Besides, what can they say? They drink too!

- Well, I guess it's okay, but I just never acquired

the taste for liquor.

- Jedda, just being seventeen and out there

gets pretty heavy.

Hey, Jedda, it's Friday.

You wouldn't be doing anything tonight, would you?

- Not a thing, Eric! - Great!

I'm throwing a party tonight.

- Oh, what kind of a party?

- Oh, nothing special.

Some good sounds, a little dancing.

- Well, why not?

- [laughing]

Not bad, L.J.!

You must've scared whoever you were fighting

clear out of sight!

- The only thing stronger than your sense of humor, Sam,

is your beer breath.

- Hey, I took some karate once.

Why don't we show these guys how it's done?

Okay. Let's go, hotshot!

-Sam, you don't fool around with martial arts

when you're drunk.

- Poor baby!

Afraid I'll beat you?

Ahh! Ooh.

- I'm not into playing these kinds of games, Sam.

It gets dangerous.

Besides, I don't want to take advantage of you.

- Oh, yeah?

Well, try this one on for size.

- It didn't fit.

[laughter]

If you guys think that was funny,

you're even sicker than your buddy here!

- Well, how do I look?

- Hello.

Like nothing I've ever seen before.
[ … ]

- Thanks.

You do have a way with words, Rick.

- Why are you all dressed up?

- I have a date.

- Whose heart are you going to break tonight?

- Eric. - He's a jerk!

- He's not a jerk, and besides, he likes parties.

Do I detect a little jealousy, Rick?

- Me? You crazy, Jedda?

Jedda, Eric has a serious problem.

Did you know he drinks?

He was fried to the eyeballs last week in gym class.

- Everybody drinks a little.

- Do you? - No.

But Rick, you are neither my brother nor my father.

- Well, excuse me for trying to protect you, Jedda.

- I can take care of myself, Rick. Thank you!

- Get down, get down.

- What are you guys doing?

- We're going to put this party into overdrive!

- The party's just beginning,

aren't you starting a little early?

- Just revvin' up, just revvin' up, Jedda.

- I don't want to stay, Eric,

if it's going to be a drinking party.

- Where've you been living, Jedda, in a cave?

- Knock it off, Sam.

- Okay, okay.

I know when I'm not wanted.

- Eric, would you do me a favor?

Try not to drink too much tonight, okay?

Your wish, my lady, is my command.

- You're not sorry you invited me

to your party, are you, Eric?

- Are you kidding, Jedda?

This kid is flying because you're here.

- I guess I was kind of a jerk back there.

I'm sorry.

Here, you're probably thirsty.

- What is it?

- The real hard stuff.

Lemonade.

That went fast. You must have been thirsty!

Want another?

- Sure. But I'll get it.

- Cover me, guy.

- You're covered, pal.

You are covered good!

- I don't know what happened

but I feel out of it and dizzy.

Eric, would you mind taking me home, please?

- Jedda, you're okay.

Let me get you some more lemonade.

- No. No, no, no. I-I don't want any more.

You--you put something in the lemonade.

I don't--I want to go home, Eric, please?

- Hello? - Rick? Rick?

- Who is this?

- Jedda. I'm sick. I want to come home.

- Jedda, where are you?

- Eric's house.

- Come on, L.J.. Jedda's in trouble!

- So you want to go home?

- Eric, someone is coming for me.

- I said come on!

I brought you and I'll take you home.

- Rick, what's coming down?

- After we get Jedda, what's going down is Eric!

- Don't let me hold you back.

- Eric, what are you doing?

Eric, slow down! Please!

Eric!

- Who? What?

- Wake up, Sam! Where's Jedda?

- I don't know. She went off with Eric.

- Terrific.

Where do we start, the hospitals or the jails?

- Both.

- Okay, Jedda.

Nice and easy.

- Should we wake her up?

- Why not?

Looks like she's had more sleep than we had.

Jedda, wake up.

- How? Where?

- Rick and I have been looking for you all night.

- Oh, my head!

I feel sick.

- You aren't sick, you're hungover.

- I--

The only thing I drank was the lemonade punch.

What a dummy! I was right.

Somebody spiked it!

- You're not a dummy for that.

However, you are a dummy for driving Eric's car

all the way back here after dropping him off.

- Does my father know what happened?

- We covered for you.

- Are we still friends? - Forever.

One thing, Eric.
[ … ]

If you're smart, Jedda, you'll lose that boozer!

- But maybe I can help him!

- You can't help him.

Nobody can help him until he wants some help.

- Maybe you're right. I'll think about it.

- What is there to think about, Jedda?

Hang around with a guy like Eric,

and soon you'll be the one who needs help.

- We got to go.

- It was my party, I'll take the blame!

- Some party!

- I really didn't know Sam spiked the punch.

There's nothing wrong with booze,

but you don't slip it to people who can't handle it.

You know what I mean?

- Eric, you were driving blind drunk.

You could have k*lled us both!

- Hey, the kid said he was sorry.

But if you insist, he will add mortified,

and humiliated.

- Apology accepted.

- Let me make it up to you.

We could have a great day together.

- Not as sick as I feel, but thanks anyway.

- Hey, let the kid fix you up.

I'm an expert on hangovers. Where's the kitchen?

- A little hair of the dog.

- How're we going to get Jedda away from Eric

and those jerk racing friends of his?

- I don't know.

But we'd better do something quick

before she gets herself in real trouble.

- I think I'm going to check out

this Devil's Mountain Racing Association.

- What in the world are you doing, Kshin!

- Getting myself a little hair of the dog.

- Since when have you started drinking liquor?

- Everybody drinks.

Lots of kids at school drink.

- How do they get the liquor into the school?

- Easy. They bring it in thermos bottles.

- Do you like the way liquor tastes?

- Not really.

- Then why would you drink it?

- 'Cause everybody else does.

I don't see why liquor is so bad.

- I'll show you what you could be like

when you're a teenager if you continue to drink.

- Who's that, Mandrake?

- That's you, Kshin, at seventeen.

Watch.

- What happened to me?

I never thought a little drink could lead to all that.

- One little drink leads to another,

and the others may lead to that, Kshin.

- Come up to play with the big boys?

- Where'd you get the beer, Sam?

- Old Pops in there'll sell to anybody

tall enough to shove money over the counter.

- In fact, Pops gave us a great deal

on a couple of cases for the big race tonight.

- If you guys race tonight with a couple of cases of beer

under your belts...

you're even more stupid than I thought.

- What do you want us to do up here,

hold a prayer meeting?

- Maybe you should.

'Cause the way you fenderheads drink and drive,

we may be attending your funeral services.

- Come on, let's put

a little excitement in his life.

- Hey, back off, Sam! You crazy?

That's dangerous!

- He's getting away! - Not for long.

- You jerk, you're going to get us all k*lled!

- Speak for yourself, dude!

- I've got to lose these guys.

- Yahoo! Ride them, cowboy!

- You're going to run him off the road!

- That's the idea!

- What's the matter?

Can't you get that toy to go any faster?

[maniacal laughter]

- Your brains are numb with booze.

You don't know what you're doing.

- Be right back, Eric.

- Where're you going?

- Oh, hi, Rick.

- I asked you where you were going.

- Out with Eric.

If anybody asks,

Eric is taking me to the races tonight.

- All right!

My main man's here and we can get started!

- Where'd you cop the flag?

- Who cares?

It's going to make us look like pros tonight!

- Remember your promise about not drinking?

- I remember.

- Jedda went where?
[ … ]

- I told you, to the races with Eric.

- But the races are at Devil's Mountain!

And you let her go?

- L.J., nobody tells Jedda what to do.

I just came from Devil's Mountain.

All of Eric's buddies were up there,

and they're already higher than the mountain.

- We better get up there, now!

- What do you think? Isn't this great?

- I don't know.

It looks pretty dangerous to me.

- Well, isn't everything that's fun dangerous?

- Not where I come from.

I think maybe we better go.

- Come on.

Don't make me look bad in front of my friends.

We'll just watch a couple of races, okay?

- Are you ready?

-Lightweights!

This is worst time all year!

- Come on, Eric! Take me home!

- Sure, Jedda, right away!

- I know, "Where's Jedda?"

- Don't waste your time. He's already wasted.

- This is going to be the fastest ride you ever saw.

- Eric, you're drunk!

Rick! L.J.!

- Sorry, members only.

- [laughing]

- Eric, we've been through this before.

You aren't impressing me, believe me.

You're scaring me.

- Nobody passes the kid!

- Where'd they go? I don't see any lights.

- I don't know. Maybe they pulled off.

The lake! They're in the lake!

- How do you think you did on the test, Rick?

- Who knows?

Hey, it's Friday, so I'm not going to think about it.

- I know what you mean.

- Got something hot planned this weekend, Jedda?

- Not a thing.

And you'll never hear me complain about a dull,

boring weekend again!

- Hey, wait up!

- I never had a chance to thank you guys.

- Dragging drowning people out of cars is our specialty.

Also if anybody cares I really am trying

to straighten my act out now.

- We care.

- I never thought you could be an alcoholic at seventeen.

I only thought that happened to the old guys.

- What are you doing about it, Eric?

- I'm going to counseling every day.

- How's it going?

- It's tough, it's really tough, but I want to live.

- Hey, Eric you're hanging out with the wrong crowd now.

- I don't think so, Sam.

- And you used to be the main man, Eric,

the kid with moves.

But now-- [mimics chicken]

- All right! - Way to go! Way to go, Eric.

- All right, Eric!

- You were asking how it's going?

- Yes? - I don't know.

But, like I said, it's tough, man.

But I'm trying.

- Well, nobody ever got k*lled for trying.