Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024)

[bunniefuu]

[song: "Knees

Shakin'" by Don Terry]

And I looked at a mountain

and the mountain started

shakin'

I looked at a boulder and

the boulder started breakin'

I looked at the ground and

the ground started shakin'

When I looked at you

my knees started shakin'

Knees shakin' Heart achin'

Bones a breakin'

I'm in love with you

[clacking ghostly sound]

Joe, you hear that?

No. Hear what?

I thought Big Red

wasn't scared of anything.

You getting the

heebie-jeebies, friend?

I am the heebie-jeebies.

Remind me why Junior

G-man's coming along for a ride?

I'm just here to make sure

that whatever's in that box

and one pretty lady

make another 600 miles to

Fairfield without any trouble.

[radio chatter]

So what's in the box?

Should I tell him?

A funnel-web spider.

Probably the most deadly

arachnid in the world.

Only this one seems

to house a plausibly

demonic entity.

You're yanking my chain, right?

That's not the half of it.

There's all manner

of bizarre phenomena

associated with this creature.

Temporal, gravitational

I mean things you

wouldn't believe.

I barely believe it

and I've cataloged the

photographic

evidence in detail.

It's been kept sedated

in a state of

sensory deprivation

until we can analyze it in

a more controlled setting.

Dammit, you're

not hearing that?

Hellboy, are you okay?

[boxes fall]

What's happening?

[grunts]

Oh my god!

[song: "Knees Shakin'"

by Don Terry continues]

[spider screeches]

Oh my god!

Ahh! Ahh!

Heart achin'

bones a breakin'

Ahh! Ahh!

I'm in love with you

Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh!

[grunts]

-You alright?

-Yeah, yeah.

Hey, lay dead a sec.

[high pitch sinister score]

Ah! Oh f*ck!

Oh sh*t.

[grunts]

Hellboy, Hellboy, look.

I like them better small.

Don't let him get away.

Don't let him get away.

It's

[grunts]

Oh crap.

Who builds a tunnel to hell

in the middle of the woods?

Some kind of ventilation shaft.

Coal mining country.

Appalachia.

Well that's just swell,

we lost the cargo.

After you.

[scoffs]

Come on

[radio static]

He, he, he.

[sinister score]

Joe?

I'm okay.

Field work, huh?

It's not much like

research, is it?

I just don't get it.

Spider what made

it go crazy like that?

Something in these hills.

Trees,

and the dirt.

Something haunted.

Evil.

This place has the stink.

I smell pine needles?

Underneath that, Joe.

Madness.

Death,

called out to Daddy Longlegs.

Woke him up.

How do you know that?

Dark things call

to dark things.

[blows on cigar]

I heard it too.

We are so screwed.

Screwed, chewed, and tattooed.

We need, we need to find a

phone. We need to call this in.

Yeah.

Ma?

Around these parts I'm not sure

which one of us stands out more.

It's the devil

come up the road.

No it ain't.

Get!

It's that red fella from

the United Nations.

I've seen him once on

the cover of Life magazine.

United Nations?

Look at you

little oriental doll.

Ain't you a purdy thing.

Um

I'm Special Agent Song, ma'am.

We've been in an accident; do

you happen to have a phone?

Sure we do.

It's in back next to

the color television

and the chicken that

shits out silver dollars

- and the Mercedes Benz.

- Alright.

May as well come inside.

Ma'am, get these on

some modern rags,

doll, they're all

cut up and bloody.

Oh no, that's not necessary.

What happened to him?

He ain't moved a

muscle since I found him.

Anyone thought of

taking him to the doctor?

You guys have doctors, right?

Or you like him as a rug?

Truck's out.

Anyhow ain't no doctor

gonna do him no good.

- Why's that?

- Cause he witched, that's why.

Witched?

Child didn't have no sense.

Kept teasing that Cora Fisher.

Throwing rocks at her window,

leaving dead

things for her to find.

Told him he better

stay away from her.

Everyone knows

Cora Fisher be a witch.

You said Cora Fisher?

Tom Ferrell. I will be damned.

I ain't dead yet.

Never thought we'd see

you around these parts again.

How many years it been, Tom?

A spell, I reckon.

I found this in the doorstep.

Hmm.

Let's see it.

Ahh.

Yeah.

Witch ball.

Yeah, I've I heard of these.

That's what made

that mark there, ma'am.

You said Cora Fisher did this?

Why, you know her?

Used to.

She wasn't a witch back then.

Take off that boy's

clothes and boil

them, calling it out

Cora Fisher's name.

If she's one that witched

him, that'll bust the spell.

You going up there, ain't ya?

Yeah, reckon I will.

First I'm going to stop

by and see my mama.

Sorry, Tom.

Figured you knew.

She's, uh

she's dead?

Long time now.

Her brother come up to

fetch her. Took her back East.

Oh, ain't that, uh

what about my daddy, then?

Never did see much of him.

Not once since you left.

Guess he finally

drunk himself to death.

He weren't ever much good.

Well, friends,

ma'am, I'll be on my way.

Just a second, Mr. Ferrell.

Um, was it?

It's Tom.

Tom,

this witch, Cora

you might say, eh

this sort of thing

falls under our

sphere of expertise.

- Do you mind if we come along?

- Excuse us. Tom.

Hey. What are you doing?

- Field work.

- Field work?

You're lucky to be alive.

I'm taking you back

to headquarters,

where you belong,

in the library, spilling coffee

on your weird old books.

There's something

going on here.

You said it yourself.

[grunts]

'This place has the stink.'

Yeah, it does.

It's exactly why you

shouldn't be here.

Look, I I need

to understand it.

Okay? And not from some

weird old book, but for real.

Like you do.

Besides, are you

really in such a

hurry to tell Broom

we lost the cargo?

If y'all are coming along

you best come along.

[song: "Dead Man's

Stroll" by The Revels]

May not believe it

but it has to be told

A poor soul doing

the Dead Man's Stroll

[hysterical laughter]

[hysterical laughter]

Ohh.

[knocks]

[clacking sound]

Who's that there?

[indistinct chatter]

Oh,

look at you

all pie-eyed.

What you come see

Grammy Oakum for?

[kraa]

[kraa]

Huh?

What's that?

[clacking]

Oh,

they want to know how

to make a witch ball.

Well, I'll tell you.

It's easy peasy,

you dance around,

buck naked

calling out: blood of weasel,

tail a rat,

guts and bladder

of a black cat,

buzzard eggs and baby's nails,

foot of toad frog,

brain of bat.

And you put a pot to boil

and it all goes in.

Cut some hairs from your head

and your nethers,

and wrap 'em

round a gob of

stuff from the pot.

Make 'em round and a

good size for throwing

and that's that.

You people

wanna trade your souls

for some ba*ls of poison.

Grammy Oakum

says: 'Go right at it.'

[kraa]

And she'll see you

in hell.

[caw, caw]

Magazine said they found

you in a church in England.

So they tell me.

That's all right.

Everybody knows the devil

can't set foot in no church.

You know I'm not actually, uh

The devil?

Yeah.

Oh,

no, I met that son of a b*tch.

He don't look nothing like you.

Here's Cora's place.

Cora!

It's Tom!

Tom Ferrell!

[sinister score]

Cora?

Cora?

You knew this girl

pretty well, huh?

Well

we, uh, we weren't

much more than kids.

We were sweethearts.

Figured we'd

always be together.

It's a long time ago, I guess.

Oh, girl

what you do?

Great. f*cking witch ba*ls.

There's more.

Eh, guys?

What do you make of this?

She must be out roaming around.

Just gotta wait

for her to get back.

[buzzing]

That'll be her demon

familiar, I suspect.

I hate those.

They feed on the witch

they're attached to.

They feed off each other.

The witch, the animal.

According to the lore, they

function as symbiotic parasites.

The lore.

Lord, have mercy.

[scoffs]

My mother was a witch.

I bet they left

that little detail

out of your magazine, huh, Tom?

Hmm?

I never met my mother.

Never wanted to.

In fact

everything I ever

knew about witches

I wish I didn't.

On the way up here you

mentioned you saw the devil.

Some 15 years ago,

about a mile from

this very spot,

come upon a stream, and

there she was.

No, not the devil.

Close enough.

Her name was Effie Kolb.

I knew right off

she was trouble.

I'm ashamed to say

I forgot all about poor

old Cora Fisher after that.

You see, Effie,

she was a witch,

and she got me all

twisted up, thinking

maybe I ought

to be a witch, too.

And all that talk about

having power over other folks,

made it sound real good.

Yeah.

So, I went out and I

got me a dead black cat.

While my Ma was out,

I boiled it on the stovetop

till it went all to pieces.

Took that mess

down to the creek,

to clean off the bones.

Now Effie told me

whatever bone I

was holding when

the devil showed up

that was gonna

be my lucky bone.

So arbitrary.

I knew him right off.

I heard tales about

him all my life.

Mister Onselm,

some of the old

folks called him.

Most just called him

the Crooked Man.

Crooked Man. Uhh.

As story goes,

Mr. Onselm was one of the first

white men who came

here from Europe

hundreds of years ago.

He played both sides in

the w*r between the states.

He came to be a very rich man.

Sounds like a real

clever little fella.

How did that work out for him?

They say heaven don't

have much room for rich folks.

They got plenty down there.

They sent him back up,

to claim souls

instead of legal tender.

They say he takes a

a copper penny

for every soul he

claims for the devil.

He gets enough of them,

one day he'll be rich again.

One look at old

Mr. Onselm scared all

them witchy thoughts

right out of me.

Got lit off for home, swearing

the whole way to be good again.

I even took that lucky bone,

threw it as far as I could.

Somehow I never

could be rid of it.

I was so scared when I got home,

I just kept right on running.

Guess that's how I

wound up in the army.

[screams]

I come through it,

without a scratch.

It ain't because

I was born lucky,

smart,

tough

quite the opposite.

It's got power in it.

Just like that old witch said:

It's got the power

to hurt people.

But I never used it.

Not once.

Like I said, I never wished

harm on anybody my entire life.

But not even them

boys over there trying

their damndest

to put holes in me.

You think that means

I ain't really a witch?

[clanking of wood and glass]

You hear something?

[animal sounds]

[chokes]

[gasps]

Ahh!

No.

Ahh!

Ahh! Ma!

Cora.

[heavy panting]

[cries]

I'm sorry, Cora.

You can't see

me like this, Tom.

Shh, shh

You just can't.

Hey, it's alright.

Hey, Cora, it's alright.

Shh, Shh.

[cries]

Enjoying that field work, Joe?

How do you get used to this?

I'm gonna get you by the fire.

Why you done it, Cora? Huh?

I know I was a

sh*t for brains kid

back then, but you

was the smart one.

After you left, I didn't

know what to do.

I had to go up

with Nate Southby.

We married, but he died.

Our babies died.

I was all alone, Tom.

It's alright. You just

gotta rest now, okay?

- You just gotta rest.

- They're coming for me.

They're out there,

Tom. They want

my soul, and

they gonna have it.

Not while I'm here.

Not while I'm here.

Hey, Shh, shh, shh, shh.

She out there!

She out

Shh, shh.

[cries]

[clacking sound]

Looks like Deadsville to me.

[horse neighs]

Ohh.

[sinister score]

[gasps]

Hey, you're alright.

Who's this now?

This ain't who I come to see.

Well, don't I just

like the look of you.

She never did have much

use for going to church clothes.

There's my Tommy.

She don't look a day older

than the last time I saw her.

The only way to tell

how old a witch is,

you gotta cut her leg

off and count the rings.

You come back to see me, Tommy?

Hell no, I ain't.

You know who I came to see.

Not that pitiful thing

Cora Fisher I hope.

Why, she ain't even much worth

tormenting, but I

do it all the same.

[cries]

How's a girl expected

to pass the time?

I don't know what

you ever saw in

that tragic little

creature, Tommy.

Why she barely

got any soul to steal.

You keep her name out of your

mouth, you wicked old wh*re!

[giggles]

I'm just playing.

You 'member how

I like to play, Tom?

Don't you?

I know why you're here.

And he knows it, too.

He got,

let's just call it

un-finished business with you.

I know.

I aim to finish it.

[laughs]

Ahh!

- Jesus

- Hey!

Still a wild hare with more

spunk than sense, ain't ya?

Hey that's enough of that.

You tell your master if he wants

to get to these poor folks,

he's gonna have

to go through me.

You? Ha. Mister

he ain't a tiny

bit afraid of you.

And Tommy,

I near forgot.

He asked me to

give you a present.

No!

'fraid he don't look like much.

I've been riding him pretty

hard every night since you left.

Guess he pretty near wore out.

Curse you, Effie Kolb!

Curse you!

This can't be real.

Radioactive, man.

Oh,

Oh, no.

No.

[horse whinnies]

What'd they do to

you, Daddy? What?

[wheezing]

Daddy. Shh, shh, shh. Hey.

Tommy.

That's you, boy?

You, you come home.

You.

Come

I'm sorry, Daddy. I

Cora?

Is Reverend Watts

still in that little

church up on the

side of the mountain?

He is, but you can't

go up there, Tom.

You heard Effie Kolb,

Crooked Man's waiting on ya.

Maybe he is

Maybe that's why I came back.

Thought I'd have it

out with that old devil.

Not before I get this sinner

buried in church ground.

[buzzing]

Oh, my God, Cora!

Oh!

[buzzing]

[heavy panting]

[gasp]

Oh.

- You didn't want me to squash?

- No,

squashing's good.

Totally approve of that.

[song: "Did You" by Morrie

Morrison Orchestra ft Alyce Hauser]

Did you ever

really love me?

Did you ever really care?

Did you ever

really miss me?

[mumbling]

Kiss me,

I wonder if your

heart was ever there

What?

Nothing. Shh..

Hey, try to get some Z's, okay?

Yeah right.

Or did you

really tell a lie

Did you ever really

ever really care?

[kraa]

ever really love me?

[clacking sound and screams]

[screams]

You want me to

take him for a while?

Oh, it's my sins that done

it. He's my burden to carry.

Think of it a little different,

I think sins are just

a part of who we are.

We're born with them

and we'll die with them.

You mean like a Adam

and Eve kind of sin?

I mean sins you can't shake.

Saw 'em off,

and they just grow back.

I'm speaking

metaphorically, of course.

Friendly folks around here.

Salt of the damn earth.

Maybe you can help

me with something, Cora.

I'll try.

I've been studying spells.

What makes them tick?

It's more than just the

words, right? I mean,

an incantation on

its own does nothing.

Well, in my case, I sold my

mortal soul off to the Devil.

So that probably helps

grease the wheels some.

Right.

Besides that?

Needs to touch your heart.

When I do a hex,

I think of the

saddest thing I can.

That seems to make the

magic come on stronger.

Ain't none of my business,

ma'am,

have you been trying

to do witch magic?

It's just research.

You want to be

real careful with that.

Coal mining country.

Yeah,

whole territory's

snake full of tunnels.

If these woods are alive,

tunnels are like veins

underneath the skin.

[kraa]

[clacking]

Ohh.

What is it?

Nothing.

Cora? Cora?

Cora?

Cora!?

- Cora?

- Cora?

Cora!

[anxiety inducing score]

That's interesting.

[bones cracking]

Ahh!

Arg!

Ahh!

Ahh!

f*ck.

Am I dead?

Maybe.

Well,

that's all right.

Everybody knows the devil

can't set foot in no church.

What the hell is this place?

I think you know.

It's your mama, ain't it?

That's news to me.

I've never seen her face.

Yeah, I guess that's her.

She tried to get out of

paying for all them sins.

Now she'll have no

rest from tormenting.

She ain't slept a wink for more

days than I know how to count.

[gasps]

Sins?

They couldn't

have been that bad,

right?

They were many.

Consorted with demons,

flew upon the black goat and

gave herself for the Sabbat,

changed her shape

into that of varmints,

and things unnameable.

[wings flap]

He's here.

Wow.

That's a big f*cking bird.

Beast takes many forms,

this be but one.

Sweet

Sarah.

What the f*ck?

Please.

Mercy.

If you will forgive me,

let me go up to God.

To God?

No. This is where you belong.

My Lord.

My master.

What more can I give thee?

So much more.

Can you not feel the new

life growing inside you?

It can't be possible?

A dark thing.

Malignant.

It can't be for I am dead.

You sang out to

the deep of night,

and the night things answered.

Now you will give

the world a gift.

A gift.

A son.

[screams]

A beautiful son.

Ow.

Woah, easy there, easy.

I'm fine.

Oh sh*t, my head feels like

Minnie Minoso

took a swing at it.

Ahh.

He brought you back.

Cora. Cora!

Cora!

Cora.

[gasps]

I used it.

I used the lucky bone.

If I wasn't a witch before

I surely am now.

[somber score]

There you go, Daddy.

It's consecrated ground.

Let's get you inside,

you old sinner.

Reverend.

That you? Tom Ferrell?

How'd you know, Reverend?

She told me.

She?

There's a girl here.

Come in a couple of minutes

before you fellas.

Bold as brass.

You don't see her?

Well,

maybe she a ghost.

Is it Cora Fisher?

Cora Fisher?

Yep.

Remember her when

she was just a little tadpole.

Devil might have got a body,

but he didn't get her soul.

It's y'daddy, ain't it?

Figured he ought to be

buried in proper church ground.

So he shall.

All right, Daddy.

But I think you got

another purpose for

being up here on the

Hurricane, don't you?

Yes, sir.

We, uh,

we aim to go up that hill.

You're going to his house?

Now, why would any damn fool

want to do a

thing like that for?

My daddy's dead.

Cora

You're dead.

I'm sorry, girl.

Maybe all that's left to do

is surrender myself to him.

Tell him, take my body,

take my soul,

take your g*dd*mn penny.

Just so long as there's no

more k*lling on my conscience.

After all, a deal's

a deal, ain't it?

That's ridiculous.

You were just a kid.

A deal with a demonic

entity? How can that

possibly be binding?

Oh, it be binding.

Hellboy.

Yeah, it's kind of binding.

Look, there may be

some wiggle room.

It's what I'm here for.

To renegotiate.

Negotiate, my a*s.

Well,

he do seem like

a pretty persuasive

fella, Reverend, don't he?

Men's pride and

folly, all that is.

Well, if you're

gonna go, best do

it when the sun's

up in the sky.

His power's strongest

when it's dark.

Y'all stay here tonight.

We got to

boogie-woogie, preach.

Looks like we still

have some daylight left.

You sure about that?

[sinister score]

That, that's, no, wait,

that's not possible.

no, the Earth,

the Earth doesn't

spin. It, it, that's

not how it works.

[laughs]

We on his time

up in the Hurricane.

[clacking]

[psychotic echoing chants]

We've got company.

A lot of witches

around these parts.

Always have been.

Used to be plenty

of regular folks, too.

Nowadays, mostly just witches.

Haha! Hallelujah.

And I will lead the blind

by a way they know not.

And I will make the

darkness light for them.

And the crooked

things straight.

Oneiros und Ntt

Schlie en Sie ihre Augen

[whispers]

Needs to touch your heart.

When I do a hex.

I think of the

saddest thing I can.

Let not your

hearts be troubled.

Them witches. Can't set

foot on this holy ground.

And that black magic.

Ain't no good here.

I guess we'll find

out soon enough.

You doubt the power

of prayers, son?

I just like to have

some excessively

high-caliber a*mo on hand.

Just in case.

Oh! Sheee. Ha!

Tommy

Shhh!

Tommy

I know you can

hear me in there.

Ain't you had enough

trouble for one day?

[moan] It ain't

even really begun.

All your friends in

that church with you,

they all gonna die.

All on your account.

That's why you gotta

come out and face him.

[giggles]

[knock]

[knock]

[knock]

[screeching]

Elvis's a*s don't

shake this hard.

Reverend, the coal mines,

do they run under this church?

Oh, they run everywhere.

A coal mine collapsed

about 30 years ago.

Last time the ground

shook like this.

100 men k*lled.

Buried alive.

Great place to build

a church, huh, Joe?

Where's Tom?

[laughs]

I don't see what's

so godforsaken funny.

[clacking]

[chants]

[hellish whispers]

Little Tom Ferrell,

come back to see me.

Bring me my lucky bone.

I come to collect

it, Tom Ferrell.

Yeah and I'm

gonna give it to you.

You gotta make me one promise.

No harm comes to

those good folks in there.

But it was you who

put them in harms way,

not I.

All right, then.

All right.

[chants]

I don't think so.

See, I don't like this deal.

You want it too bad,

and that makes me

not want you to have it.

Go on inside, Tom.

Go.

Well, ain't you a

pug-ugly son of a b*tch?

Pot calling the

kettle black here, but

Jesus H.

[chants]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

The nympho-broad in the tree

mentioned you

weren't afraid of me.

Well guess what? I'm

not afraid of you either.

So why don't you turn around,

take your crooked

a*s out of here,

and take those dizzy

b*tches with you.

You had a different aspect

when you watched

your mother burn.

What the hell you say, Gumby?

Be gone from this church,

Mr. Onselm. You be gone now.

You saw how she is.

This sorrowful thing.

She suffers so.

But I have it in my

power to mollify her pain.

Let her feathered

soul take wing.

Really?

You would do that?

Yeah.

Something small

in return is all I ask.

That you twist off the head

of that little Tom Ferrell.

and bring it hither.

We're just

renegotiating.

I'm sure we can see eye to eye.

Why?

You got witch

blood in you, friend.

You're more like me

than you are like them.

Come on, snake, let's rattle.

[buzzing]

[buzzing intensifies]

Ohh!

[laughs]

Help him.

Oh, come on!

Oh! He's kilt.

He's kilt for sure.

Arg! I ain't kilt.

You can't hide in

there forever, Tommy.

Crooked Man gonna

wear you out, boy.

Oh, you shut your cursed mouth.

He gonna heap sorrows

on you a hundred

times worse than

what you drunken

daddy ever got.

You get out of my skull, you

witch! Witch! Get

out of my skull!

Ahh!

Joe,

I need you.

Reverend.

Now we both know,

Reverend, a deal's a deal.

Here's what I'll do.

I'll buy that lucky

bone from you.

Ain't nothing in here for

sale to you, Mr. Onselm.

Do it.

Okay.

Urmm! Ahh!

Come on, Joe, you

gotta pull harder.

- Come on!

- Ahh!

Uhh, I know you got no

use for legal tender, old man.

But what about time?

What do you give for

ten years of it?

What are you

doing to me, Satan?

How about

twenty?

Fix up those

eyes of yours

while we're at it.

Come on!

No, sir! I come fairly by

my years and my afflictions,

and I don't want nothing else.

[clacking]

Abby Riley done

poisoned two husbands.

How'd she get planted

in a church yard?

So many sinners in

this consecrated ground.

[chants]

Flesh rots, but

the sin goes on.

[chants]

Oh sh*t.

Okay, are you sure

you're okay? Because--

You want to stick

your finger in?

No I do not.

- You can't keep bleeding

like this - I'll be fine.

- No, no, you will not

be fine - Bobbie Jo.

Part of the job.

Okay? I can't wait to get my

hands on that Howdy Doody f*ck.

Where the hits just

keep on coming.

He looks a little

different, doesn't he?

Mm-hmm.

You always did like them pretty

girls, didn't you, Reverend?

I could feel your eyes on me

giving them Sunday sermons.

You go lay back down, Abigail.

This ain't your world no more.

Kiss me, Father.

Kiss me like you

always wanted to.

Kiss this.

[chants]

What are you doing?

Callie Hicks, fornicator.

Fornicator!

Abel Jacobs.

Gambler.

Josie Ward.

Philanderer.

Manly Langrishe.

Lying drunk.

Lying drunk!

Nathan Green.

m*rder*r.

m*rder*r.

Like ducks at the county fair.

Flora Sue Baker.

Cheatin' wh*re.

Cheatin' wh*re.

Ada Calder.

Child k*ller.

Child k*ller.

[indistinct chants and

hysterical laughter]

They were dead, and buried.

Sins were forgiven.

Forgiven don't mean forgotten.

Wyatt Ferrell.

Drunken old fool.

Ha ha ha.

Agsk

Ugh!

What is this?

No, wait, wait.

f*ck.

Sorry Daddy.

Lord, I can't look

on this no more.

Take my eyes away.

And I don't want no

gifts from the devil.

Thank you, Lord.

Tom Ferrell!

Give me that old cat bone!

I was never gonna

use it, Reverend.

You watch now. I

ain't no perfect man.

None of us is.

I got a shadow in my

heart like anyone else.

But you gonna see

that light, Tom Ferrell.

You gonna let it blaze

bright inside of you.

Just like that light

be blazing in me.

I'm all fired up.

I'm gonna bust

that evil wide open.

I'm gonna squeeze it.

I'm gonna squeeze

the Holy Spirit

into this vile unlucky bone!

I can feel it.

Look at it blaze, Tom Ferrell.

Look at it!

Every grave in this yards

been dug with this shovel.

If it ain't full of God

then nothing is.

Thy rod and thy staff!

They comfort me.

That'll work.

Yep.

[coughs]

[clacking]

[caw]

He's going home.

Ah-ah. Hellboy, no.

We call this in

and come back with

the whole team from the bureau.

Better to finish

this. He's hurt.

He's weak.

Joe, you're done.

Staying back here

with the Reverend.

No.

We don't come back

you keep going down

that mountain and you

don't stop until you

find a telephone.

Don't ever come back here.

What?

Keep the shovel.

[song: "Enchanted

Sea" by The Bentleys]

It's been called that

since I can remember.

A long time back

a hurricane blew

down a mess of

trees on this mountain.

They never grew back.

No one still alive

remembers it.

Might have been a thousand

years ago for all I know.

And hell, maybe it

wasn't no hurricane at all.

How's that?

Well,

the Indians say it's

always been bad.

They say there's

ghosts and critters

up here older than the flood.

Scarce animals.

Shonokins. Mountain spirits.

Here me out,

I might be just talking

out of my a*s here, but

might be looking at

a dimensional rifting.

Lovecraft type scenario.

The old gods forcing their

way into our world type thing.

I don't know nothing

about that, but

it's a q*eer, bad feeling

place, that's for sure.

Gonna need a new shovel.

Something in these hills.

Something haunted.

Evil.

In the trees.

In the dirt.

Tom said these hills

were like a living thing.

Come again?

He said the old mines were

like its circulatory system.

Its veins running underground.

The Crooked Man, I think,

I think he draws power from it.

You got something

on your mind, girl?

Something I don't like.

Maybe if we disrupt the

power source, we can hurt him.

What?

I'm talking about sabotage.

If this were a w*r

and those tunnels

were supply lines,

we'd plant dynamite.

You gonna dynamite that mine?

No.

Maybe something better.

A spell.

Girl,

You outta your

mother f*cking mind.

I didn't know if it was real,

or if it was just a story they

tell little chaps to scare them.

You ready?

They told me them stories too.

Could use a woman's touch.

[kraa]

They go down into them mines.

Make me understand

why they built a church

on top of a very

convenient access

to a collapsed coal mine?

Explain it to me

like I'm a little

a little slow.

Wha-

S'ppose they thought it

was some kind of doorway

'tween this world

and the other.

They reckon they'd

drop a church on top.

Consecrate the soil.

Block the doorway.

Maybe not such a swell idea.

Worked all right

up until today.

It's dark down there.

Dark as the devil's as*h*le.

If we're going

I'm bringing this along.

Maybe it got a

bit of holy left in it.

We?

- No, Reverend, I

- Down there,

I ain't much more

blind than you is, girl.

[baby cries]

[baby screams]

I always figured rich folks had

them some real fine soirees.

Mm-hmm.

Real fine.

All right.

[baby whimpers]

Tom!

Bet you wishing

your friend was here.

Yeah, he's not

afraid of anything.

Oh, I know somethin' afraid of:

he afraid to tell you how

he really feels about you.

Tom?

Tom.

Ahh!

Something's coming.

[laughter]

Ahh!

Run, girl!

Hurry up! This way, this way!

And he shall eat the

flesh of your sons,

and the flesh of your daughters

shall he eat.

Destroy them in wrath.

Destroy them

that they may be no more.

Magic ain't like

a b*llet, girl.

You just can't

pull the trigger.

Some things you can't

understand by thinking.

It comes from the

spirits, not the meat!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Oh, crap.

Ahh!

[baby toy sounds]

When's the last time you felt

the touch of a woman, Tommy?

Have all these years

been so lonesome?

Did you sit up and

dream about me?

I know it, I bet

you never stopped

thinking about the

way I touched you.

You got something

hard for me, Tommy?

Yeah, I do.

Ahh!

[gasps]

I know well thou are my son.

Thine eyes,

thine eyes attest to it.

Let's not pretend this is

some beautiful moment.

I don't care about you.

You never gave a damn about me.

Thou should look upon

me and say these things?

I should let you burn!

I gotta get you out of here.

No, my sweet child.

I can't be saved.

This burning be my fate.

For them many sins I done,

all us witches end up the same.

[panting]

[clacking]

[panting]

There's only one

way to end this pain.

Destroy me, my son.

No.

No, I can't do that. You

can't ask me to do that.

For thy scorn.

For thy wrath.

Thou were right to hate me.

I hated myself!

Myself!

This goddam monster you made!

Oneiros und Ntt, beuhrt

die Gedanken meiner Feinde.

Schlie en Sie ihre Augen und

fangen sie bis zum nachsten

Sonnenaufgang in Traaumen ein.

Oneiros und Ntt,

beuhrt die Gedanken

chlie en Sie ihre Augen und

fangen sie bis zum nachsten

Oneiros und Ntt,

beuhrt die Gedanken

Sie ihre Augen

Let me be as a dream.

Forgotten,

Dust without meaning.

Oneiros und Ntt, beuhrt

die Gedanken meiner Feinde.

Schlie en Sie ihre Augen und

fangen sie bis zum nachsten

There's gotta be another way.

There is none.

Oneiros und Ntt, beuhrt

die Gedanken meiner Feinde.

Schlie en Sie ihre Augen und

fangen sie bis zum nachsten

Sonnenaufgang in Traaumen ein

This agony, I can't

bare it any longer.

- Please!

- No!

Ahh!!

Ahh!!

You alright, big fella?

Some kind of booby trap.

A spell.

I almost

something broke it.

[crows]

[clacking]

It smells like death,

and bird sh*t.

Wait here.

[demonic sounds]

[growl]

Oh crap.

No, no, no, no.

No, no.

Please, please, f*ck!

[loud thump]

[breaking glass]

[demonic squeal]

Ahhh!

Gah! Ahh!

Ugh.

Egh! Guh!

Oh! Ahh!

Uah!

[scream]

[buzzing]

Better you'd given me that boy's

head when you had the offer.

That's twice you might have

saved your fork-tongued mother.

Well, but you'll be by

her side soon enough,

suckling that

black teat in hell.

You must die in this house

to feed the earth beneath,

to feed these hills,

these ancient

stones that do live.

Hey there, devil,

I got something for you.

That's for Cora Fisher.

You go on and choke on it,

son of a b*tch.

[vomiting sounds]

[coins falling on the floor]

Look at this devil,

fools himself into

thinking he's a man.

Your road ends in

the dark like mine.

And this,

witch,

No I ain't.

You'll burn, both of ya.

Like Cora Fisher burns.

Like your witch mother burns.

That's all for you.

[g*n shot]

It's all souls, ain't it?

[coins drop]

Look at it.

You think that one's mine?

I don't know.

Guess you'll find out someday.

Like all of us.

You know what I think, Tom?

I think that so-called

lucky bone of yours,

I think it's just a cat bone.

All this time you thought

it held the power, but

I think the power was in you.

He was afraid of you.

He was right to be.

[cries]

[song: "Sinner You'd Better Get

Ready" by The Louvin Brothers]

Oh sinner you

better get ready

The time's a comin'

when the sinner must die

Oh God gave Noah

Ha, I've woke up to worse.

All of a sudden I'm old.

Tommy

I don't know how to be old.

I knew I held on to this

old bridle for a reason.

singing Halleluya,

sinner you bet get ready

The time's a comin'

when the sinner must die

All us witches end up the same.

Joe.

Joe!

Joe!

Arrgh!

Bobbie Jo,

- Hey, wake up. Joe, wake up!

- [cough]

Come on. Come on.

Get up.

You went inside the tunnels.

Unbelievable.

You're supposed

to be the smart one.

Yeah, you're telling me.

Oh, look

I got the cargo back.

Nice field work, right?

Besides, I wasn't

down there by myself.

I was with the

Reverend the whole time.

Never would have gotten

out of there without him.

[somber score]

I can't wait for the 60s.

- 60s?

- Yeah.

This ain't my

decade, Bobbie Jo.

I feel good times are coming.

I think so, too.

I ain't gonna miss

this place much.

Me neither.

Can't wait to get home

and just document all this.

That Tom Ferrell's

not a bad egg.

Lucky you came

along when you did.

He just needed a

little push, that's all.

[radio]

Hey!

Not afraid of anything,

are you, big guy?

Yeah, well, there's an upside

to looking like this, Joe.

You see this face

in the mirror long

enough the monsters

don't look too bad.

Yeah, yeah.

I know something

you're afraid of, though.

There you are.

[song: "Trouble in Mind"

by Cowboy Roy Brown]

Trouble in mind,

I'm blue, yeah

I won't be blue

always, Bob will

Cause that sun

is gonna shine

in my back door someday

Hope soon and aha boy

Trouble in mind is blue

I just see me blockade June

When you see me laughin'

I'm laughin' just

to keep from cryin'

Gotta let me

Trouble in mind, I'm blue

And I won't be

blue all way, why?

Because sun's gonna shine

in my back door some day

Going down to the river

And I'm going to take my

rockin' chair what

you gonna do?

And if the blues take me I'm

gonna rock away from here

[ghostly clacking]